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Now let's dive...in a different ocean...

BPOV

My love,

After two months without hearing from you I started to think like the rest of them that you were dead, they truly believe you have left this earth, but then something changed in my life and I know for sure that you are alive somewhere. I know you are alive Edward.

Remember I told you about my little love Cris? Rose's baby? Remember how I told you his luck was to be so loved by his mother that the absent dad didn't matter that much?

I still think that having a father is better than not having any, but having a father like Aro, a father that doesn't take care of his kid or even shows love to him is worse than being orphan in my opinion.

I've discussed this with Angela, remember Jessica's, girlfriend? Yes, they are out the closet now and I couldn't be happier for them. They keep a low profile but still they can't hide the love they have for each other, even in public it radiates off them, and most of that is because of you Edward. When you left, Jessica was so devastated that she took Angela's love, without any question and now Jess seems... almost happy. She still misses you badly but she's holding on to Angela to get through this time, and Angela isn't allowing her to mope about.

So, as I was saying, Angela told me that she missed out on that feeling of being loved, her mother abandoned her at the orphanage and she never knew who was her father, imaging never having a parents love and feeling no on loved you in life.

With Cris it's very different, thank God! We all love him and Rose would die for him without blinking. I think that's why she puts up with the things Aro does. The beatings and we found out too late but now she says Cris needs his dad so she'll stick with him. She will protect Cris to the end, a mother's love and protection is unconditional.

I still can't accept Rose's decision but you already know that as we talked one day…two months ago when my life was perfect with you be my side.

Now I have another person to love even more then you my love, I'm sorry. Your space is not taken but my love, will be bigger for our baby.

Yes Edward, that one night, that perfect, sweet first time and I've been given the most wonderful blessing after meeting you.

I found out yesterday, because of Alice. She was getting worried about me being sick all the time so we went to the doctor. He asked a lot of questions and I blushed at many of them, but the point is that I did a blood test and I' pregnant.

Of course the doctor says I'm 8 weeks, because what I told him so, I think that in June when I'm at home I'll have our baby.

I wish you were here to share this joy with me. It's not fair that our baby can't be with his daddy. He needs you Edward. He needs his father, as much as I need you, or even more. Now, more than ever, I need you next to me. I know you'll always be with me but still I need your presence. I'm afraid of not being able to give our baby all the love he needs for both of us.

Sometimes I even imagine what your reactions would be.

You'd pull your air up from you lungs until it'd shoot up by itself and say things like "it was my fault", " damn condom" but on the other end you'd be happy, jumping around the place, making all sort of plans as I do now all by myself.

But I'm not totally alone. If there's a baby in the world that will be loved, then it's is ours. Alice, at first was scared and Jasp almost had a heart attack when I told him but once they both calmed down, they confess to be thrilled about our baby.

Angela and Jessica couldn't be happier and even say they're leaving Green Island when I leave, to go to Blue Island to be next to their "nephew". And Esme! Oh God she cried so much when I told her. Your brother's girlfriend is so sweet, that I wish I could go to her and hold her hand.

They are reducing the sedatives from your brother very slowly but at any bad reaction signs he is put back in to the induced coma and Esme is about to go crazy! After two months of never leaving his side, she finally gave in and went home where she slept a bit. I told her yesterday that her nephew will need her and she found another reason to keep herself sane. She left Carlisle that night with her mother (he couldn't be all alone right?) and slept on her bed at home. When she woke up this morning sent me a text saying:

"Tell my nephew aunt Esme slept very well xoxo"

Now we have a baby to take care of, but first I need to take care of myself.

I started to eat better since yesterday and will do everything in my power to make sure our baby is born healthy and happy.

I miss you every second of the day but now I need to let that go a bit. I can't let myself be depressed for our baby's sake.

I know you are out there. I'm still sure of it. But I'll have to let you go a bit so I can take care of myself and our baby.

One day we will be holding our baby together and it will be one the happiest days of my life.

I'll write to you tomorrow my love with more details about my day, now fulfilled with a new subject: Our baby, our love.

Always yours forever

Bella

"Girls I'm just gonna put this in the mail box and be right back" I looked to the girls and as always they made that sad face whenever I take "The lost Letter" to the mailbox.

They don't understand why I still write to Edward daily. Now that the days are colder I write inside and they always respect my moment but still don't get it.

The one in my trembling hands was for sure the most important letter of them all.

Edward needs to know that he's gonna be a daddy!

I wish he was here, but I know deep inside of me that one day I'll be with him again.

While I pass the boys dorm, Jacob was sitting on a bench with his cell in hand, I suppose texting someone.

"Hey Jake! Texting your girl are we?" I saw him jump on the bench, not expecting me at all and I giggled. He's sweeter now or maybe my eyes just see him in a different way.

"Bella! Where you going in this cold wind?" he asked really worried after the initial shock of seeing me.

"Just to put a very important letter into post office, outside campus, wanna come?" I could really enjoy the company of someone that wouldn't think I'm crazy for writing all these letters

"Sure, let's go" he stood up and putting his arm around my shoulders smiled at me "At least I can protect you from the cold wind.

We never spoke about that night or the letter he wrote me and I felt bad for letting him holding me like this but still it was comforting.

"So who's the letter for? Family?" His question was an icebreaker and I knew it, but I wasn't prepared to share it with him.

"Yeah, family." I answered vaguely.

He noticed my vague answer but didn't push it, I could sense that some awkwardness was back and I went in for the kill.

"Jake, about the letter you wrote me, I'm sorry I never …" he cut me off putting his fingers on my lips, which felt odd.

"Bella, you still talk to me after all that, that's important enough to me so we don't have to talk about that. If you can still speak to me after I was a part of your breakup, I don't need another word about it" he held me even closer and I knew I should keep things clean but somehow I let it go.

"Ok Jake, but you were not the reason we broke up. Let's keep it that way"

Getting close to the mail office I realized that it had been weeks since I had a conversation that would include Edward. It was weird but nice at the same time. Now that I now that I'm having his baby the world seems more interesting and I can and need to connect with other people so I can learn a lot to teach my baby. He'll be the most important thing in life.

Suddenly my baby made his presence known, so far I hadn't suffered any morning sickness, but now I could feel my earlier meal trying to escape. I held my breath for a while not wanting to be sick on the street but it got worse and I had to turn around to the garden next to the post office pulling Jake's arm away from me and threw up.

One second later Jake was holding my hand and asking me lots of questions at the same time but I was concentrating on breathing. The fresh air should help, as the doctor said, without any smells around that could provoke my upset stomach, but Jake being next to me wasn't helping so I shoved him away with one arm while holding my stomach with the other.

"Bella, what's wrong? Let me help! Want me to call someone? Bella what can I do?" He was getting panicked.

Although I heard his voice I was afraid of answering knowing that any sudden move of my mouth could provoke another vomit and I didn't think I still had anything left inside.

I tried to breathe slowly first inhaling with my nose to make sure no smell was gonna make me sick again and then I opened my mouth to take a deep breath as to be sure that it had gone away.

Standing straight, I looked at a petrified Jake standing next to me. I almost laugh at the sight. A big man like him horrified at a sick woman throwing up, but something in those eyes made me contain myself. I saw worry and concern in his eyes and I knew that, even if I only thought about it made me stop laughing, before I started.

"I'm ok now Jake. I just get sick easy nowadays. It will go away in a few weeks" I told him regretting it right away.

"Did you see a doctor? You sure you don't want me to call an ambulance?" he was still standing pale, if even possible behind that tanned face.

"No need for that Jake, I'm not sick sick I'm… pregnant." I told him to ease him up but it turned the other way around and he suddenly became furious. His eyes suddenly narrowed and the hard expression of his face scared me.

"W-What d-did you say? Y-YOU ARE PREGNANT?" he screamed out and I got even more scared.

"Yes Jake I am pregnant. Why you concerned about it?" I asked through gritted teeth

He seemed about to kick something or someone and I wished I never came out of campus…or invited him…or tell him… I was pregnant!

Bang! I slap my forehead! Jeez! How could I say this to him? He was in love with me! I felt so bad for making him suffer I kneeled on the floor.

His instant reaction has to help me up, but I looked him in the eyes. "Jake, I'm so sorry. I was so selfish telling you this, like this, knowing the way you feel. I'm so sorry, please forgive me!"

With his eyes still narrowed but with a calmer look on his face, he took my hands in his and helped me get up. "Bella, there's nothing to forgive. You are not mine to keep, so I have nothing to say or do about it. I overreacted, and I'm sorry. I must have scared you right?"

I still could ease myself up although I let my hand take his while he helped me up. Something had changed and the sweetness was gone. I took it as I sigh that he has still hurting, and there was nothing I could do about it.

"Let's go back Jake, I'm cold and I need to get something in my stomach again" I tried to joke.

He smiled but his eyes were still in that scary narrowed way that made me feel so uncomfortable.

"Ok momma, let's go and feed you. After all you just threw up what I suppose was lunch, right?"

I smiled at him sheepishly, still feeling unease but I did walk back to campus leaving my beloved Edward's letter in my pocket as it was. I'd come back tomorrow and send it.

JPOV

While we were walking back I had this rage inside me that I was trying to fight the feeling before I did something stupid. When I heard her say she was pregnant I could've killed that bastard James, he had done this to her. She wasn't his anymore how could he take her on that last night and then leave her?

I tried with every beat of my heart not to fist the wall next to me when she said that.

She was pregnant. The woman I love was pregnant with another guy's kid. Another man touched my Bella! That wasn't right! And then as nothing had happened he left and she has his child inside her. A baby bastard! A one, that will never meet his father, or will he? Will she tell him she's pregnant? Will she tell him it's his?

"Bella?" I tried to ease my voice in a sweet tone "Does the father know?"

She looked at me as if she'd seen a ghost and I couldn't get that reaction. Was she afraid of him?

"No Jake, he doesn't know yet. I can't find him anywhere. It's like his lost" she said with the saddest tone of voice I've ever heard.

That made me even angrier. That bastard left her and again without letting her know where he was or how he was. Wasn't breaking up with her enough? He had to hide too? What kind of a man does that?

"Bella, I'm sure someone at his work knows about his whereabouts. Have you tried that?"

Silence. She became silent and suddenly she smiled and said. "Don't worry, this baby is gonna be very much loved regardless if I ever see his father again."

She smiled but her tone of voice betrayed her smile and she choked on emotion. Tears didn't fall but the silence was sad enough for me to know that she loved her baby, more than anything no matter what.

The jealousy came again. Another person had her unconditional love again and it wasn't me.

I had to do something.

She was mine. I waited long enough for her to cry and mourn that stupid three year relationship she had. Now she was supposed to be mine. All mine.

Silently we walked back to campus, but this time I didn't dare to embrace her.

I needed to find out more about this situation. If he doesn't know maybe its time I jump in, slowly…she never loved him so she can't be that sad about the breakup. Now she needs a father for her child…I'll have to go slowly, let all the rage go away and be the sweetest guy she has ever met. I'll be always around and I'll make her fall in love with me. No more out weekends. From now on, I'll keep myself to her. I'll be her friend, then I'll be there for her when her baby is born.

I'll be the father he doesn't have. He won't be a bastard. I'll marry her, get her safe and we'll be a happy family. He'll be my son... even if not mine biologically. But we can have our own later. I'll love Bella every day of my life.

In my head all was figured out, so now I just had to go slowly and get the plan out…very slowly.

?POV

Hearing all those voices surrounding me wasn't helping the headache I had.

In the last days, I don't know how much time, since I don't remember when I came in here, all the voices seem happier to see me get better. I still can't speak because of the tube that goes down my throat; I suppose its helping me breathe. But, even if I could speak, what would I say? I don't know who I am. I can't feel a thing on my body and I still don't know why I only listen to strange voices. They seem professional but not caring ones.

Well maybe one of the voices shows some caring. I think her name is Vicky or Victoria, like the others calls her but I could swear she told me in a whisper her name is Vicky. I suppose she's a nurse or something but I still can't open my eyes.

I mentally recap what I already know: I had an accident they don't know how and was severely burnt. I was brought in without reference to the vehicle I was in, since all of them were burned in the crash. I think that it's about 80% of my body that has burns and I need some skin transplants from some areas to make the others heal. I can't feel a thing but I believe the drugs they are giving me most be powerful. Sometimes I fall asleep without being tired. Then when I wake up and make some movement Vicky is always around. This girl seems never to leave my side. I wish I could see her face.

They have my head covered and eyes too. From what I've heard I had a bad concussion and the swelling on my head is affecting my reflective signals.

My eyes shouldn't be covered but they-the doctors- seem to be scared that the light will cause more pain, so only at night they lighten up the cover in my eyes and I can see some of the shadows surrounding me.

I still don't get any personal information about myself. They call me John, but I don't think that's my name at all.

No one seems to be looking for me, as in I hear them say it's weird I'm not on the missing board…whatever that means.

I hear footsteps and I feel happy that at least my hearing is ok and my brain too…if only I could find out who, and why I'm here.

"John, its Vicky. Its' time for your sedative, you need to sleep. You're brain activity is much higher than usual and that's not good. You need to take it easy. "

Then as she was speaking only for herself, she went on,

"Such a beautiful sweet face and a perfect body behind those burn areas…what a waste. He shouldn't be alone like this. Why doesn't this man belong to someone? And his body all burned… I wish he could hear us and tell us what he feels and who he is."

I wish I knew too Vicky- I thought but didn't make a move. Somehow I knew it would be better for me if I stay still without letting them know I can hear them. This way maybe I can find out more about what happened and finally find out who I am.

As the powerful drug went in to my veins again I eased my mind and went back to remember the only face I knew was really important to me…That sweet face was my only memory of my life and i fell asleep dreaming with her again.

Thanks for reading...again