"I've brought you all coffee."

The dementors looked at me like I'd grown another head.

"Coffee," I said again. I waved the bag of Muggle Insta-Coffee in the air. Yes, it was Muggle, but the stuff was powerful. And kinda tasty.

Two dozen dementors continued to stare at me in confusion.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm trying to say sorry for no smoking, okay?"

I received breathing in response.

"Give it a shot," I tried.


Alarm bells rang throughout the Ministry as witches and wizards Apparated, Floo'd, or simply ran in panic in their efforts to escape. The ceiling was crowded with dementors, swirling about in a great hurricane and swooping down gleefully. They moved so fast they were nearly a blur.

And I just stood there, gaping at my creation. A witch nearby screamed as a dementor soared frighteningly close to her hat. A part of me laughed at her (because she was tall), but I quickly silenced it.

"Serena!"

Oh. Shoot.

Enter the boyfriend, although right now he was looking very "boss." "Cornelius, dear, how are you?" I greeted, extra sweet.

Fudge was a fuming mess, with his bowler hat askew and his pallor pale. I guess he was sensitive to dementors or something. "Don't try and be cute," he snapped, and I pouted. "The Ministry is in chaos because of you! What did you do?"

I paused. "Well, Fudge, it really isn't my fault. In fact, we can point the blame finger at you. Why can't they smoke, Fudge? Why can't my dementors puff a soul every now and again?"

Fudge's lip trembled furiously. However, after a moment, he calmed down a bit. "So we can blame Rita Skeeter?"

Rita didn't write for awhile after that.

*I love ripping on Rita. If you find a typo, you win a Skittle. Your choice in color.*