Chapter Eleven

After gating back to the SGC, Jack was still angry at his men for not trying to stop Apophis from taking Sam. Daniel had tried to reason with him, but finally everyone had left him alone to stew in his own juices. They knew he blamed himself as much as he blamed anyone, and besides he was injured and confined to a bed in the SGC infirmary, whereas they had been allowed to go home.

The next morning General Hammond came to talk to Jack. "I have no choice but to declare Captain Carter MIA and presumed dead."

Jack wanted to yell at him that it couldn't be true, that he'd go and find her just as soon as he could walk. But the news the doctor had for him earlier that morning hadn't been good. He was going to need more surgery on his knee, and most likely he'd never be fully qualified to serve on the front lines again.

"I'll phone her father, since he and I are old friends. This is going to kill Jacob," George said, shaking his head.

"Yes, Sir." Jack didn't know Sam's father, but he did know that Sam thought of him as a role model. He figured the man would probably be instrumental in raising Jonathan, and he wondered if he could help.

"Since you're here, Sir, there's something else I need to talk to you about."

Jack had already made a decision; if he couldn't serve with his men in the field, if he had to work as a pencil pusher behind some desk somewhere, then he'd quit the Air Force for good this time. So he told Hammond, who looked disappointed and sad, but not surprised.

"I'm very sorry about all this, son. I wish things had turned out differently," he said sadly.

"Me too," Jack agreed, not saying all that he was thinking. He wished more than anything that he had gotten the chance to make Sam forgive him, to make her love him again. But that couldn't happen now.

"Well, I've got a few reports to read."

"I'll get mine to you just as soon as I can, Sir," Jack promised, but without much enthusiasm. Writing about what had happened was not something he was going to enjoy. The mission had been doomed from the start. He could see that now. They should never have gone to Chulac without backup.

"I'll notify Sam's next of kin," Hammond said, and then he went down to his office, faced with one of the most difficult phone calls he'd ever had to make. But when he reached Jacob Carter's office at Langley Air Force Base, his assistant Lt. Roberts, a lovely young woman who George had met on several occasions, confided that General Carter was in the base hospital, and he wasn't expected to live. Shocked, George phoned the hospital.

"Jacob, it's George Hammond."

"George, you must have ESP. I was just going to call you," said a weak voice.

"What the heck's going on with you, Jake?"

"I've got cancer, George. It's terminal."

"But aren't there treatments?"

"For the lucky ones. Unfortunately they caught it too late. Is Sam there?"

"No, she's not. In fact, she's…"

"Then I want you to tell my little girl good-bye for me, George. Tell her I love her, and that I'm sorry I won't be around to see Jonathan graduate from the Air Force Academy one day."

"What? Jake, who are you talking about?" George asked, but instead of Jacob's weak voice, George heard the firm voice of a woman who identified herself as Nurse Major Green. She told George that Jacob was tired and needed to rest, and he should call back later.

George hung up he phone, wondering how he would ever be able to tell the man that his daughter was gone. And who was this Jonathan that Jacob had talked about?

In the infirmary that same day, Jack was trying not to think about Sam, when the general walked in.

"I phoned General Carter to tell him about Sam, but I didn't get a chance. In fact I'm the one who got a shock."

"What's that, Sir?"

"He's dying of cancer."

Jack immediately thought about Jonathan. The boy had not only lost his mother; now he was losing his grandfather! "That's terrible news, Sir."

"Yes, it certainly is. She doesn't really have anyone else. Jacob did mention someone named Jonathan, but I have no idea who he is. Maybe those people she named as contacts know who he is? You know Sam had a home Northwest of here in the mountains. But I'll take care of notifying them. You just go and take care of that knee," Hammond rattled on.

"Uh…yes, Sir," was all Jack said. It was obvious that Hammond was upset about Sam. Jack was very upset too, but he just let Hammond go on talking. And now he was feeling like a real asshole. He had loved Sam for years, but he still couldn't admit it. Why not? Who was he protecting? The answer could only be that he was protecting himself, and the knowledge made him feel ashamed.

"Well, good luck, Jack. I'll check on your progress, but feel free to phone me if you need anything."

"I will, Sir. Thank you." Hammond turned and was about to leave, but Jack just couldn't let him go without admitting the truth. He had to do it, and not just because of the boy. He had to do it to honor the love he felt for Sam…a love he would always feel.

"Sir, wait! There's something I have to tell you…something you need to know," he began, and then Jack told his CO everything. And by the time he was finished, the general was seated on a chair next to Jack's bed, looking as though he felt too weak to stand.

"I have to admit I never saw this coming. I wish you had told me the minute you found out Sam was being assigned to your team."

"I know, and I'm sorry, Sir. I hope I haven't put you in a difficult position."

"Well, since you're off duty, and this conversation isn't being recorded, I am willing to keep this between us. I have only two more years to serve before I can retire, and I really don't want to lose my pension. Do we understand one another, Jack?"

"Perfectly, Sir."

"Do you want me to notify the people who are taking care of Sam's son…er…your son?"

"No, Sir. I think I should do it. I want to be a father to the boy now. I just hope, wherever she is, that Sam would approve."

"I think she would, Jack. A boy needs his father."

As soon as Hammond left, Jack phoned Eden Woods to tell the Baxters about Sam.

"You say she's missing? Where?" Bella asked him.

"I'm sorry, I can't tell you that. Her work was highly classified."

"Yes, she told us that. She also told us about your relationship to her and the boy."

Jack was surprised that Sam had told anyone about him. "I'm surprised she told you."

"She wanted us to know, in case something happened to her. She said we should get in touch with you. Colonel, you won't take the boy away from here, will you?"

Jack could tell that what she was asking was very personal. She didn't want to lose the boy. He understood her concern. "I'm not sure what I'm going to do. But first I need to have surgery. I was wounded on our last mission."

"Oh! I'm so sorry! I hope you'll be okay."

"Yah, I'll be fine. I just wanted to make sure that my son's in good hands. It may be a month before I get out of the hospital."

"Don't worry about Jonathan. We'll take good care of him. He's happy here with us," she assured him.

"I'm sure he is, or Sam wouldn't have trusted you with him. Do you need anything….money for his care?" Jack suddenly wondered how Sam's arrangement with the Baxters worked. Did she pay them to look after the boy, or did they do it out of the goodness of their hearts?

"She left her lawyer's name and phone number. We'll phone him. I'm sure he'll tell us what she wanted for the boy. In the meantime we have enough of everything we need, so don't worry."

"Can I have the lawyer's name and number?" Jack had to know too. What if Sam had left some sort of provision in her will that prevented him from seeing the boy?

He couldn't wait to find out, so he phoned the attorney next. The man offered to come and see him, rather than discuss Sam's will over the phone. Now he had to ask Hammond to authorize Mister Jessop's visit.

"Okay, but be discreet! You can't breathe a word about what is really going on here," George reminded Jack. Actually nothing much was going on here, now that SG-1's leader was out of commission. The prognosis, for both Jack's knee and the stargate program, was not good. "There's something you should know. The President is considering pulling the plug."

"I can't say that I blame him. I really messed up this time, didn't I?"

"It's not your fault, son. I think it was too risky in the first place."

"Not true, Sir. We could have pulled it off. I had our missing sergeant standing right in front of me at one point. I just didn't go in with enough fire power. It was my mistake."

"You almost sound like you think we can win against these aliens."

"We can, Sir, and we'd damned well better try, before they come here and take us over like they took Sam!"

"Would you be willing to tell this to the Joint Chiefs? I have a conference call scheduled with them in less than an hour."

"I'd be happy to, Sir. If we don't get back out there and learn the lay of the land, we won't be prepared when they come knocking at out door again. The only way to beat the enemy is to know them, Sir,"

"I agree, Colonel. I'll have the phone call routed down here, so you can tell them first hand what you just told me."

An hour later Hammond ended the conference call. He hoped his superiors would heed Jack's words, but only time would tell. Right now he had to phone Jacob Carter again, to tell him that his daughter was missing and probably gone for good.

TBC