Don't wake me up

Chapter Eleven: Off Balance

Waking up in Elsa's arms was possibly the greatest feeling I had ever experienced.

Silently yawning, I noticed my heart rate start to speed up just because I was so hypersensitive of our proximity. Basking in the moment, I tried my best to breathe softly as to not wake her.

My eyes followed the particles of dust lazily floating through a shaft of light that refracted through the break between her windows and curtains. They spiraled around before landing softly on Elsa's rosy cheeks. The early morning sun cast her features in an ethereal light. She looked like a sleeping goddess.

I sighed aloud and immediately shut my mouth with a snap, regretting the noise that might have jostled her from such a peaceful slumber. All she did, however, was grumble a bit and move her arms lower on my back. It was a relief to hear a much different sound coming from her than the screaming in her sleep the previous night.

As soon as I climbed into bed with the blubbering girl, she had latched herself onto me and didn't let go. I could feel her warm breath ghosting across my skin, our noses mere inches from each other. I had no idea what her violent nightmare had been about, but whatever it was seemed traumatic.

I reached a hand from under the covers and tucked a lock of platinum blonde hair behind her ear. She would have looked serene, if not for the labored rise and fall of her chest. My heart sank as I remembered her words.

"Dying would be an awfully big adventure."

Did she still feel that way?

I was trying my best not to wake her, but I was starting to get uncomfortable as pins and needles popped around my arm crushed under her body. I cleared my throat and watched as her long lashes fluttered open. My heart skipped a beat as she rubbed her sleepy eyes and lazily gazed up at me.

"Oh. Hello." Her voice sounded slightly deeper than usual.

Butterflies twisted my stomach into knots as Elsa began to disentangle her limbs from my body.

"Hey."

She hummed a satisfied noise and raised an eyebrow at me. "This is nice."

God, how is she being so smooth?!

I uncharacteristically let out a giggle and proceeded to cover my face with the blanket in an attempt to hide the color flushing in.

"Is it, now?" I asked as my voice cracked. I wanted to slap myself. Be cool. Be cool.

"Yeah." A half smirk curled up on her lips. "I haven't gotten to cuddle with anyone for a very long time." I almost gasped when she snuggled her head into the crook of my neck. I was trying as hard as I could to remain calm, but my insides felt like they were made of Jell-O.

I could feel her pulse thudding against the arc of her collarbones as she pressed her body into mine. "Oh. Oh." I suddenly had the urge to push her away; the overbearing intimacy was borderline terrifying.

On a more base level, however, I wanted her like I wanted nothing else. Her nails dancing across the skin on my back, the soft curves of her body flush against mine, silky hair spilling across the bed sheets like liquid gold.

Oh my god oh my god oh my god.

Before my brain could process what was happening, she pulled her head up again to face me and wrapped her arms back around my neck.

I let out a strangled gasp.

"Are you okay?" Elsa laughed. I felt a sort of disappointed loss as she unhooked her arms again.

"I've never been better. This is so nice. I wish it could be like this all the time." I was proud of myself for being able to speak so clearly with a brain clouded from being so enamored.

"Me too." She responded warmly. Her eyes fell and she looked away. "But it can't, I have some things to take care of."

My composure returned at the sound of her strained voice. "Oh yeah? Like what?"

She hesitated and choked out, "Arrangements."

I felt water begin to well in my eyes when I realized what she was saying. They weren't just any arrangements.

They were funeral arrangements.

I grabbed her hand and laced our fingers together. "Do you want me to come?"

I swore I could see her pupils dilate as she trained her eyes back on me, this time with undeniable enthusiasm. "You would do that? For me?"

"Of course." I would do anything for you. I leaned in towards her, and rested my forehead against hers. My eyes flicked downwards, her lips looked so inviting, and they were mere centimeters away.

"Thank you. I've never had someone care for me enough to deal with my nightmares." There was a tremor in her voice as she continued, "Or something as serious as what I have to do later today. You are a blessing, Anna."

"Hardly. You are the one who took me in, remember?" I pulled my eyelids half way over my eyes and slowly began to bridge the small remaining gap between us. My heart was beating out of my chest again. Those butterflies were feeling more like rabid dogs.

"Eh, you could make it without me." I could see her eyes closing too. "Intelligent, attractive women make it far in the world."

I knew exactly what she was insinuating, but asked my question anyway for the pure purpose of dramatic effect. "Are you calling me attractive?"

"You heard me right, Kitten." We were so close together that I'm sure she could hear the breath hitch in my throat.

"I thought you didn't like nicknames!" I protested, recalling that she hadn't been too fond of "Cupcake" earlier.

"Oh they are plenty excellent for me to use on you." She brought her free hand to my face and traced the backs of her nails against my cheek, and I shivered in apprehension. Elsa was setting nerve endings on fire.

"Oh shut up." Her eyes were hooded as she leaned in closer. At that point, our noses were touching and I felt like I was going to pass out.

If a time had ever perfect for making a move, it was then.

If only life had been fair enough to let me have that moment.

"Hey Elsa I'm going to get a ride with Flynn to practice today so you can have the car. I'll be back home by-WOAH oh wow ok sorry," Kristoff's shocked voice came from the doorway.

Busted.

Elsa sharply pulled away from me and removed herself completely from the bed. "It's not what it looks like."

My heart fell. It isn't?

"Yeah ok no um ok I'm leaving now I'll see you at four I'm sorry I yeah ok, " He clumsily spat out before making a b line for the exit.

Elsa just stood there, breathing heavily and staring at me, messy hair framing a wide-eyed stare.

I was disappointed that we had been cut off. I still didn't know if she felt the same way.

Not that I even knew what I was feeling. I had never met anyone who had the ability to make me feel the way Elsa just had. 'So why not give into temptation?', A little voice in my head nagged.

"You ok?" I asked, rolling out of bed as I tried my best not to ogle at her revealing pajamas: a loose t-shirt and silver, lacey underwear. My eyes raked down the creamy skin of her long, toned legs.

Ok. More like major temptation.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she answered curtly, brushing bangs from her face. Regaining some of her typical nonchalance, she pointed behind me to a pile of towels. "Hand me one?"

I rolled my eyes and tossed the towel on the top to her. She gave me one last suspicious once over before heading into the bathroom for a shower.

I sighed and anxiously ran my hands through my disheveled bed hair. Damn.

She may have been fine with not figuring out what had just happened; but one thing was for sure.

I wasn't.

…...

It was possibly the most inviting funeral home I had ever seen; Deep red, cherry wood pews, mottled pine floors, burgundy stained glass windows and rows upon rows of pink chrysanthemums.

If it weren't for the black coffin smack in the middle of the room, like an angry scar across a canvas, the whole scene could have been from a quaint little chapel.

"Our prices are very reasonable as well," the chipper funeral director told us as she led us to the casket display room. She wore a pinstriped pantsuit with bright pink heels and her bottle blonde hair pulled angrily into a restricting bun.

"Breaking stereotypes all over the place." I whispered aside to Elsa, attempting to elicit some sort of response from her stoic expression. For someone who was picking out what she might be buried in, she seemed unflappable. She gave me a discouraged half smile and quickly shot her eyes down to the floor.

All of this was precautionary, of course. She had a great chance of beating the cancer, but even so, one could never be too prepared.

I, on the other hand, was finding it hard to contain how distressed I was with it all. Before, the thought of her passing had been…well… not real. But as soon as we went into the graveyard to look at gravestones, breathing became physically painful. I could only imagine what it was like for her on the inside.

The director's words were merely muffled white noise to my overexposed senses. I glanced helplessly at Elsa who was still looked ridiculously untroubled by the whole affair, arms crossed and brows furrowed. She looked completely unphased, completely contradictory to the circumstances.

Only when she was asked the question to end all questions did I notice her foot begin to tap nervously.

"Do you want your plot to be next to your parents' graves?" The director said it as if it had been her morning coffee order.

Not even able to manage an answer, Elsa just nodded and shut her eyes tightly. Without a second thought, I grabbed her hand and squeezed it.

I rubbed my thumb across the ice-cold skin of her fingers as we headed into the offices around the back of the building. My heart clenched in my chest as she shivered and audibly gulped.

"I-I think I need a minute." Elsa spluttered, tearing her hand from mine and dashing to the restroom.

I shot an apologetic look at the bewildered funeral director and raced after my poor friend who had just disappeared around the shadowy corner.

In a frenzy, I bolted into the bathroom foyer and saw Elsa, head in her hands, collapsed and whimpering in the brown leather chair at the corner of the room. She had been so strong up until now, so ready to face this. I guess it had become real for her then, too.

"Oh Elsa," I said as I gathered her up in my arms and let her sob uncontrollably into my shoulder. "I'm here. I'm right here. And you? You aren't going anywhere."

She clawed at my back to pull me closer and I obliged, drawing myself completely around her as if I was shielding her body from a storm.

I honestly didn't know where all of the compassion was coming from. I had definitely never felt the need to comfort anyone before- and someone I had only known for a couple weeks?

I had a sinking feeling in my gut. This isn't going to end well.

I could feel my heart breaking as she cried. I pressed a kiss into the top of her head. So maybe I am falling for her. You'd think you'd learn. I cursed myself as ran my fingers through her hair. Elsa had been the kindest person I had ever chanced meeting. I should return the favor at least.

A surge of overprotection seemed to course through me. I just wanted to save her.

"I'm here." I repeated, rocking us back and forth, pushing all worry from my mind. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

If only I had known that I was lying.

...

A/N: *braces self for onslaught of angry reviews* DO YOUR WORST

haha...yeah...soooo

That was light angst compared to what is in store, I'm afraid to say. Let me know what you loved, what you hated and what you would like to see next- my baller beta, who is literally the greatest human being ever, ALSO did INCREDIBLE fan art for me, which can be found on her tumblr: spacerib, or mine: elsassassyeyebrow. Anywho, thanks for reading and reviewing, share my fic with your fellow elsanna shipper buds!

Always,

Jess