A/N: All standard disclaimers apply. And a huge collective shoutout to all you lovely reviewers. When we get the home Internet fixed (long story) I'll send individual thanks. Until then...enjoy!


As Children After Play

"Kiss me?"

Way easier. Edward immediately lowered his head, dropping his mouth to hers. She tasted so warm and alive, like springtime, like flowers, like a meadow after rain. He lapped at her full lower lip, unable to stop himself. But she didn't seem to mind, and with a tiny noise deep in her throat that did something awful to his self-control, she opened her mouth to him.

Kissing Bella was like a dream: everything moved in slow motion. Edward dipped his tongue into her mouth, sliding slowly against hers. She pressed herself against him, though it was impossible to get any closer than they already were - with clothes on, anyway - and her hand found its way into his hair, stroking the back of his head, her fingers kneading, tugging gently, urging him on. He felt her heart rate pick up and begin to race, to flutter, almost humming against his chest, pressed so close to hers. He stroked her tongue with his again, licked the smooth line of her teeth, nibbled gently on her lip, careful to use only his lips and not his teeth.

When she broke away to breathe, her stomach flexing with her lungs, Edward took the opportunity to press kisses along her jawline, following a silken trail to her ear. He blew a cool breath against it, then licked the delicate pink shell before finding the lobe and closing his lips around it.

The little noises she made were absolutely delicious as he lapped and nuzzled at her skin, finally leaving her ear long enough to trail a damp line down her throat and then quickly find her mouth again, as his lips against her rushing blood vessels proved too dangerously tempting. As long as he kept his mouth away from her throat, though, the monster inside him snapped at its leash but did not strike. It was the man inside of him, the young male long denied, that rose to the forefront. He didn't know what it was about this sweet girl that brought out his most repressed desires. Certainly she was beautiful - so very beautiful. But, then, so was Rosalie. So were the thousands of girls who had swooned at his feet in the century or so he'd been alive. Bella was kind, too, and loving. So were many other women. But it was this one, this one unlikely candidate with a violent secret, who had captured his attention and then his heart. He didn't know why, but why didn't matter. What mattered was that she was here, with him. What mattered was doing all he could to keep her there.

"Please, Bella," he muttered against her skin. He drew a handful of hair away from her throat, finding the tender divot behind her ear and burying his nose there, inhaling deeply. "We want to help you. I want to help you. Let us. Don't go back to him. We can find another way."

She whimpered as he breathed the words against her ear, her hands tightening into fists, wrinkling his shirt as she grasped it. "That's not fair."

"What's not fair?"

"Asking me something - to do something," she almost panted, "l-like that. With your mouth right there."

"Right where?" Edward teased, filing the information away for later use. He nuzzled the warm spot behind her ear again, then touched his tongue to the velvet skin. "Here?"

She whimpered again, the sound tantalizing. Things were rapidly drawing close to a point where he wouldn't be able to control himself anymore, and there was no way he was ready to broach that topic with Bella yet. She was still too raw, in too much pain - emotional as well as physical - to even think about something like that yet.

Good choice. Jasper's dry voice echoed in Edward's head, drawing him out of his delicious Bella-induced fog. Are you two by any chance ready to join us? You know, sometime this century?

Edward took a deep breath, then another. His lungs didn't need the oxygen, but his mind needed the calming placebo effect. Finally, he gathered the willpower to move his head away from Bella's tempting skin, pressing gentle kisses to her jaw and then her chin before straightening and finding her eyes.

They were more beautiful than he'd ever seen them before, still murky and deep, but drowning in a simmering desire that he'd caused. That appeared for him. The realization almost overpowered him. He knew in an offhand way that he was beautiful, that his appearance was calculated to draw people to him. It was part of his predatory nature. But Bella hadn't seemed to be affected before. Quite the contrary; she'd more or less ignored him. And though it was hard for Edward to accept, that only meant one thing.

This was true. It was real. The desire in Bella's eyes wasn't for the monster, but for him, for Edward.

"Edward?"

His name on her lips, a little dazed still from their kisses, melted him. He was almost ready to ignore Jasper and inform Bella that he was spiriting her away somewhere - somewhere no one else would ever find them. But the others were waiting on them, waiting for this very important conversation that would decide Bella's future. And it was for Bella that they were doing this, after all. No matter how much he wished he could protect her from the world, it just wasn't possible. There were some things she had to deal with on her own. He'd do all he could to help, but she had to be able to talk about what her father did to her. If she wasn't able to do that, Edward didn't know how they would legally be able to help. And though he was more than willing to handle the situation using less-than-legal means, he knew that Carlisle was not.

"Bella?"

She shifted on her knees, running a hand over the bandage Carlisle had applied to the open cut on her arm. "I don't know if I can."

"Just try, sweetheart. Please?" He took the hand picking at the edge of the gauze, holding it carefully. "Just come down and talk with us."

She consented to being drawn to her feet, though her expression was anything but assured as Edward led the way out of the office. "Nobody else will believe me," she mumbled, her hair falling over her face and obscuring her expression from his worried eyes. "No one ever has before."

"Have you tried telling people before?" Edward asked as they turned on the landing and descended the second half of the staircase. He knew that his family could hear them perfectly well as soon as they hit that landing, so he felt that it was acceptable to start asking questions.

"Once." Bella tripped on the last stair, but Edward caught her easily. She made a frustrated noise at her own clumsiness and, for the first time since the panic attack, she pulled away from him. Edward let her go, hating it but knowing that refusing to release her could have disastrous consequences. "Renee thought I was lying to get attention." She scowled. "It's the only time I can remember that she actually punished me."

Edward scowled, too. He'd heard only Carlisle's side of the conversation with Renee, so he had no idea what Bella's mother was actually like. But anyone who wouldn't take her child's complaints of abuse seriously? He didn't know what to say about a mother like that. Certainly neither of his mothers - his real mother or Esme - would do such a thing.

"Bella." Carlisle greeted her warmly, with a smile. Bella felt a little better, seeing him and Esme sitting together on a couch. He'd been kind to her, and had not pried. And Esme...was Esme. Bella had no words to explain it, but she already felt a keen bond with the mother of the Cullen clan, and when Esme patted the couch next to her in invitation, Bella took the seat willingly. She felt cold for a minute as she left Edward's side, but Esme's arm went around her shoulders, and it was impossible to feel adrift with that calm buoy holding her in place. "I hear you had an eventful day," Carlisle continued, turning his head so he could see her. Bella trusted the doctor, but she admitted to herself that she did feel better with Esme's comforting presence between them. "I'm sorry about that. I'd hoped it would be restful."

"I'm the one who's sorry," Bella found herself saying, though she was used to answering questions with a shrug or a shake of the head more often than not. These Cullens made it difficult, though. They were so nice, so open and friendly, that it seemed unconscionably rude not to respond in kind. "It was stupid to freak out like that."

"It wasn't stupid at all," Carlisle contradicted. "And you had no control over it, so don't feel bad, Bella. It was an involuntary reaction your body had to something it remembered as frightening. The nickname Alice accidentally used is called a trigger. You may have more than one, and it's possible you may respond to them differently, or only at certain times. It's possible that in another situation that nickname wouldn't cause the same reaction."

"I hope it doesn't ever again," Bella muttered, and the sentiment was heartfelt. She remembered that panic attack, and it had been awful. One moment Alice had been prattling joyfully as she dug through a box of rings, and the next thing Bella remembered, she was in the corner. The beautiful mess of Alice's room suddenly turned into a riot that assaulted her senses and caused acute pain. She heard Alice calling to her, but her vision melted and swirled until it was just a smear of color, and the voice in her head wasn't Alice's anymore. It was Charlie's, and he was informing her that she was in incredible trouble for leaving him like she had. She was going to be punished worse than ever before, and that thought terrified her. She could hear that nickname in his mouth, see how he spat it through his moustache at her. It was supposed to be a sweet name, a cute one. Instead it cut her deeply, and she didn't know if that wound would ever heal.

But through the fog and pain and Charlie, something had happened. A cool touch had stroked along her hand, urging her to reach out, away from Charlie. It stroked and stroked, and something about it seemed familiar. Something about it seemed...right. And she was so afraid, so terribly afraid, but she'd released her hold on herself, the grip of her arms clenched around her that felt like it was holding her together when the pieces wanted nothing more than to scatter in the wind. But the cool, calm touch urged her to let go, to trust. And so she had. First one hand, and then the other. She'd let go of herself and reached out...

...and he'd been there. Firm shoulders that she'd wrapped her arms around, and gentle arms that gathered her close, pulling her firmly from the nightmarish vision and back into this new reality where people cared what happened to her. He'd held her tenderly, as if she were a precious thing and easily broken, and he'd let her hide her face in the crook of his neck until she was ready to face the rest of his family, hovering, concerned. In a sense, he'd rescued her from Charlie yet again. And though she was a little uncomfortable with how much she now owed him, she couldn't make herself wish it had been anybody else who had done it.

"Bella?" Carlisle asked, tearing her out of her memories. She glanced inquiringly around the room, and found Edward still hovering in the doorway. She met his eyes, hoping the question in hers didn't need voicing. He'd said he couldn't read her mind, but maybe there were some things that were universal.

It seemed so, because after a moment she saw the light of his lopsided smile, and then he came to perch on the arm of the couch, next to her. If he were normal, he'd be close enough that she could feel his body heat. But he and his family were not normal. No matter what their secret, though, she trusted them. They'd been the only ones to notice what was going on, the only ones to care enough to get involved.

"I'm listening," she told Carlisle contritely, forcing herself to pay attention. There just was so much going on in her head, and she was also nervous with the whole Cullen family now assembled in the room, watching her.

"Good, because this is important," the doctor said. "Bella, we want to do all we can to help you. But we can't do it on our own. We need you to tell us, and tell us the truth. Unless you're willing to talk about it, we can't legally keep you away from your father."

Bella winced at those words. They were unwelcome, but not unexpected. "I know," she said, hearing the defeat in her own voice and hating it. She hated feeling weak and unable to control her own life. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She didn't want to be having this conversation; she wanted to be back upstairs with Edward, or letting Alice attack her with smelly skin-care products, or even curled up on the corner of a couch watching the boys play video games. Anything but this.

Well, almost anything. One thing was clear: she didn't want to go back to Charlie. Not really. And if there were any sort of chance that Carlisle and Esme could make that happen, they had to know what was going on.

"It's okay, baby," Esme said, and she put a hesitant hand on Bella's shoulder."We want to help you."

"I know." Bella sighed and tucked her feet up under her."I just don't know where to start."

"We don't have to do this all tonight," Carlisle said kindly, with his warm, reassuring smile. "Let's just see where it goes, all right? You can stop whenever you feel the need to. Okay?"

Bella looked at Esme for confirmation, and Esme nodded encouragingly."I promise, Bella. If it hurts too much, you can stop." Her hand moved to Bella's other shoulder, her arm curling around her in a hesitant hold. Bella leaned into the embrace, curling toward the older woman's calming presence."Edward?" Esme asked, stroking Bella's dark hair, pulling it away from her face. "Would you get Bella a blanket, please?"

He was gone and back again in an instant, tucking a thick microfiber throw blanket around her shoulders. Bella was grateful for the thought - the house was reasonably warm, but as she drew herself into the soft folds she felt both warmer and safer. It was a place to hide, in a way. She leaned into Esme's cool, hard shoulder, feeling soothed as calm fingers combed softly through her hair.

"I want to say something," Bella said, surprising herself. She lifted her head, forcing herself to meet the eyes of each Cullen in turn."I know you have a secret. I know there's something about you that you're trying to hide." She saw Emmett and Rose give each other a speaking look, but couldn't begin to interpret its meaning."I just wanted you to know that I won't say anything to anybody about whatever I might see here. And I won't ask you to tell me what your secret is. It's yours to keep, and what I can't help but notice...that part is safe with me."

"We weren't worried," Rose told her, her voice as cool and confident as always."But you have a right to know the whole truth."

Bella shook her head. "No, I don't. Your secrets are yours to keep; I know enough about secrets to know how important they can be. You've done so much for me already, and I don't want you to feel beholden. You're good people, and that's all I need to know." Bella felt her cheeks heat as she finished speaking - Alice was grinning like the gleeful pixie that she was, and the gigantic Emmett also looked pleased. Jasper seemed thoughtful, but that was normal for him. She still hadn't actually heard him speak, she didn't think. Rose looked doubtful for a minute, but then she nodded.

"Fair enough, Bella," Carlisle said."Though I want you to feel free to ask any questions you might have. You shouldn't feel afraid here; you are safe with us."

"I believe you," Bella murmured, meeting his eyes.

"Good." His smile returned, elegant as the rest of him. "Now, on to the next topic. Bella, sweetheart, we want to help you. The question is whether there's a way to do that through legal channels. If there is, that really should be the first avenue we explore. And in order to do that, we need to know exactly what's going on with your father."

Bella nodded; that much she already knew.

"I'm going to ask you some questions - Esme and Rose will help, as they may have insights I do not possess." He glanced at Rosalie, who nodded once, her face grim. "I'm going to ask your permission to videotape this conversation. That way, hopefully you won't have to go through it again with law enforcement, if we decide to bring them in. But it's completely up to you, Bella. It's your choice. It's also your choice who stays in the room while we talk."

Bella tightened the fist holding her blanket around her, and she pressed closer to Esme.

"I'm not leaving, baby," Esme reassured her. "I'm staying right here with you. Rose, too."

"Yes," Carlisle said, "Esme's not going anywhere. But you can choose whether you want the boys and Alice to leave, if fewer people around will make you more comfortable."

Bella thought about it. She hardly knew Emmett and Jasper, so it didn't matter much to her either way. She was a little nervous letting Edward stay - what would he think of her, when he knew the truth? Would he ever want to kiss her again? Would his arms still open to let her in? She didn't know, and this new tenderness with him was something she didn't want to lose. But if they were going to continue in this way, didn't that mean a relationship? Bella had never been in a relationship before, not like this. But if she was going to start one now, she didn't want the foundation of it to be secrets and lies. Not with Edward. He had to know what he was getting into.

And Alice? Bella looked at the little black-haired girl who had been her first friend in this dismal town. Her golden eyes were watching her anxiously, a worried little frown hovering at the corners of her quirky mouth. Alice was such a happy person, so bouncy and joyful. Bella didn't want that to change. She didn't want their friendship to change - it was so bright and simple, which was something she needed desperately in her complicated world. And she was desperately afraid that finally admitting to the things Rose suspected would do irreparable harm to her friendship with Alice. But she couldn't ask Alice to leave if everyone else was staying; that would almost certainly do more harm than the other option.

"They can stay," she said finally, closing her eyes for a long moment.

"If you're sure," Carlisle said. He got up and flicked a remote, and a camera mounted near the ceiling swiveled toward the group. "Remember, it's up to you. Anything you need, you let us know."

Bella nodded slowly.

"All right." Carlisle paused. Bella's face was so pale, and she still had dark circles under her eyes, though he could see clearly that Alice had done her best to hide them. The bruise on her cheekbone stood out, too; a grim reminder of why they were here. He didn't want to do this, because he knew it was going to hurt her. Nobody wanted to relieve painful memories, and he was asking her to do it in front of a group of people and a camera. But he could think of no better option. He and Esme had to know what was going on in that house in order to make a plan to help her, and the camera was, if all went well, to keep her from having to repeat this process in front of strange law enforcement officials. That would likely scare her even more, and he really didn't want to do that.

She was so sweet, so shy and retiring, but fierce in her protectiveness toward his family. It amazed Carlisle how easily she accepted their...oddness, and how she didn't pry. In fact, she'd announced that she didn't want to know. Carlisle quickly corrected himself. She hadn't actually said that she wasn't curious, that she didn't want to know what their secret was. She'd said that she didn't need to know. And that statement spoke of a deep trust he didn't know if he'd ever encountered before. That Bella was capable of such trust after everything she'd been through was phenomenal.

Carlisle glanced at each of his family members, giving Bella a few moments to ready herself before he began asking questions. Alice was already so fond of this girl. She was also still firm in her belief that Bella would soon become part of their family. Carlisle didn't quite know what to make of that particular vision. He didn't ordinarily agree with turning humans unless there was no other option, and even then he was usually loath to do so. Being a doctor, he understood that death was a necessary part of life. But Bella was an unusual case. He'd heard from the rest of the family how Edward had drawn her out of her panic attack with just his touch and voice, and how she'd clung to him after, seeming content to stay in his arms. They'd spoken at length about a kiss, too - Alice gleeful, the rest of the family more reserved. Not because they disliked Bella, but because the situation was so volatile. Carlisle had to agree that it wasn't the best time to be starting a romance, but then, Edward had never done things the easy way. And he'd been alone so long. Carlisle looked at his son, aware of the protective way Edward's eyes lingered on Bella, watching her as she rested in Esme's arms. He didn't look jealous of his mother, but Carlisle had no doubt that a great deal was going on behind his stoic exterior. And if Edward wanted this girl, and Bella wanted him, Carlisle wasn't about to stand in the way. He knew, perhaps better than any, the acute loneliness of an eternal life without a partner with whom to share it. If Edward wished it and she consented, Carlisle would turn her - or allow someone else to. It wasn't the usual way they did things, but leave it to Edward to fall in love with a human.

"All right, Bella," Carlisle said finally, and Bella opened her eyes. A tremor ran through her, and Esme squeezed her lightly.

"You can do this, baby," Esme murmured, and Bella nodded against her shoulder. She could do this. But that didn't mean she would like it.

"Let's start with a little background, okay?" Carlisle suggested."Something easy to begin."

"Sounds good," Bella said, her voice quiet but steady.

"Tell us about where you've lived, and with whom. When did your parents divorce? How well do you know your father?"

Bella straightened a little bit. These were fairly easy questions to answer."My parents split when I was a toddler," she said, "and I went to Phoenix with Renee. I've always spent summers with Charlie, so Renee could travel. Most Christmases, too, for the full two-week break."

"So you've been in contact with him for your entire life, then?"

Bella nodded.

"May I ask, Bella, why you call your parents by their names?"

"Edward calls you Carlisle," she said, and then winced. Her voice had sounded defensive even to her own ears, and she didn't want to come across as ungrateful or angry. She wasn't angry - not at the Cullens, anyway."I'm sorry," she mumbled.

"There's nothing to be sorry for," Carlisle said smoothly."He does call me by my name, it's true. But remember that our family isn't blood kin the way yours is."

"I know," Bella said, although it was true that she didn't always remember that fact. Though none of the Cullens really looked all that similar - even Rosalie and Jasper - their collective oddities made them seem very alike. Their cold, pale skin, and their strength, and those strange, beautiful golden eyes...taken collectively, it made them seem more akin than their facial features made them seem distinct. "I guess...it's hard to explain." Bella pulled her mind back to her own family, searching for words to explain her reticence to call her parents mom and dad. Those words had never come easily to her. She supposed that when she was very young she probably said "mommy" and "daddy," like all little children. When had that changed? She couldn't remember."I think it's different with both of them."

"That would make a great deal of sense," Carlisle agreed."I'm not a psychiatrist, Bella, but may I offer some possible insight?"

She nodded, interested to hear what the doctor might think. True, he was not a therapist or anything, but she trusted him and he seemed to have a great wealth of knowledge.

"I can't say anything about your mother." Carlisle laid one ankle on his other knee, thinking a little. No, he decided. It was best not to tell her just now that he had spoken with Renee. One thing at a time."But your father's behavior toward you doesn't seem very fatherly. We don't know exactly what he's done, of course, or for how long. We'll get to that later. But it's clear that he doesn't act as one would expect a father to act."

"You could say that," Bella said, the edge of sarcasm in her voice.

Carlisle chuckled. "Quite. Does it make sense to you, then, that you might resist calling him a name you feel he hasn't really earned?"

Bella nodded."That makes a lot of sense," she said quietly."For both of them."

"Yes?" Carlisle tilted his head to the side in what he hoped was a questioning gesture."Let's talk about your mother, then. Why would you say that about her?"

Bella thought for a minute, feeling the comforting weight of Esme's arm around her. It felt like a betrayal of Renee in a way, but at the same time she didn't want to leave Esme's mothering presence."Renee's a great person," she said quietly."Funny, and creative. When I was little, she used to make me laugh so much. There were always art projects everywhere around the house - hers and mine. She'd dye macaroni different colors so we could make necklaces or pictures out of it." She paused. "I wasn't allowed to eat it, though."

"Of course not," Alice said, blinking in surprise. "Whatever she used to dye it probably would have made you sick!"

"No." Bella shook her head."Not the dyed stuff - macaroni in general. Pastas or breads, stuff like that."

"No bread?"

Bella shook her head. "Renee didn't believe grains were healthy. Meat, eggs, or dairy either. Definitely not refined sugars or anything like that."

Alice made a disgusted face."What did you eat?"

"Raw vegetables. Tofu, all-natural unsweetened peanut butter. Occasionally some fruit if Renee decided it didn't have too much sugar. Sometimes raw nuts if she approved of the source."

"I'm no nutritionist," Esme said, "but, Bella honey, that's no diet for a growing child."

"Which is why CPS eventually made her take nutrition classes," Bella said."I was really underweight and stuff. After that it got a little better, but I had to learn to cook for myself. Renee wouldn't touch anything she wouldn't eat."

"How old were you?" Carlisle asked gently. He thought he knew the answer - there'd been a mandated check-up in her Phoenix medical charts - but he wanted her to tell them.

"Six or seven; I don't really remember." Bella straightened a little bit, raising herself away from Esme's shoulder."But, look, I don't want you to get the wrong idea. Renee's not a bad person. It just always kind of felt like I was the mom and she was the kid. Does that make sense?" She searched for better words to explain what she was feeling. She loved Renee, she really did. Renee wasn't Charlie."I never had a bedtime or a curfew. I wasn't the one staying out late - she was. She'd bring guys home, but none of them could really cope with her. She always said it would take more of a man than she'd thought she ever find to stick around."

Bella felt her mind drifting back, remembering some of the things that had been difficult about living with Renee."I never knew when I woke up whether she'd be home or not, or whether she'd have a guy with her. Whether he'd be a stranger or someone I'd seen before." She drew her knees up to her chest, tucking them under the blanket and wrapping her arms around them."We'd do fun things when I was small, like turn the dining room table and chairs into a fort with sheets and blankets. But then things would just stay that way - she never cleaned up. She didn't often finish projects, either. She'd just drop them when she got bored, and move on to something else. I didn't realize until I started going to friends' houses in elementary school that normal people didn't live that way. Their houses weren't jumbles of junk." She smiled wistfully."I remember one time, my grandmother - she's dead now - made me a dress. And the first day I wore it, I slipped on a pile of old newspapers in the hallway. I slid into some open jars of paint that had been buried under a pile of papers and laundry. The dress was ruined."

Bella held her breath for a long moment. She could feel the urge to cry slinking up her throat, a tight, painful ball of sadness. She blinked back the tears furiously, ducking her head to hide the contortions of her face as she fought the emotion back down. It made no sense that something like a paint-stained dress could make her cry. It wasn't worth it. And yet, she still felt the loss keenly.

"Phil was good for her," she said, when she managed to breathe again. Her voice wavered, but she fought through it."He didn't want to be tied down, and neither did she. They understand each other. They fit. I guess I never really did."

Carlisle glanced at Jasper with a raised eyebrow, curious to know Bella's feelings as she sat there, no longer leaning into Esme for comfort but instead curled into herself, her face buried in the blanket. Certainly there was pain - deep sadness for emotional wounds that had not healed, emotional needs that had not been filled. But beyond that? Jasper met his father's eyes, his face solemn. Not for the first time, Carlisle wished he could communicate as Edward could, sensing the thoughts of others. It was out of the question to ask Jasper out loud, and he wasn't going to push Bella to tell them, either.

"But I don't want you to get the wrong idea," Bella said, her voice muffled by the blanket. She raised her head, looking at Carlisle, and her eyes were bright but dry. She was fighting the emotion, repressing it. It wasn't healthy, but Carlisle said nothing about that for the moment."Renee loved me - she did."

Carlisle wished he didn't have to ask the next obvious question, but it needed to be said."Bella? Sweetheart? I can't help but notice that you're using the past tense, talking about your mother. Did you realize that?"

Bella thought about it; he could see the thoughts flickering through her eyes, though he could not grasp any of them. When she did not speak, he decided to push just a little bit. "She's not dead, you know."

"No," Bella said, her voice flat. "But she's gone."

They sat in silence as several minutes ticked by. Carlisle let her have the time to think. He had quite a bit to think about himself. There were deep holes inside this girl, spaces of emptiness that had not been filled when she was young. While he had no doubt that Bella was correct and her mother loved her, as much as Renee was capable of loving her, it hadn't been enough. Whatever Renee had offered to the young child Bella had been, it hadn't been near enough to adequately nurture her. It was no surprise, then, that she'd gravitated toward Esme's warm, soothing presence with so little hesitancy despite her issues with touch and trust. This girl desperately needed family, the family she'd been denied when she was young.

What was further troubling to him was the fact that she seemed to be repressing her emotions regarding Renee, and he wasn't entirely sure why. If he had to guess, he'd say it had something to do with her father's behavior. It was entirely likely she felt that Renee's parenting was a vast improvement over Charlie's and she therefore had no right to be upset about anything that might have happened in Phoenix.

"Yes," Carlisle agreed slowly, after the silence had begun to grate on even his normally implacable nerves."You're right; she is gone. Do you feel that she might be gone for good?"

Bella shrugged noncommittally."I don't know," she said, staring hard at the pristine white carpet."But even if she isn't, it'll never be the same again."

"No, it won't," Carlisle agreed."Do you want it to be?"

She shrugged again."It was familiar."

"Yes," Esme said. Her arm still lay across the back of the couch, though Bella had pulled away."Familiar is comfortable, and right now everything is new and frightening. There's no reason to hide that."

"Bella," Carlisle asked gently, "can you tell me why you didn't go with Renee and Phil when they left Phoenix?"

Bella was quiet for a long time. Carlisle didn't know if she was going to answer or not, but he was willing to give her all the time she needed. He suspected that she knew the answer, but regardless, expressing it would be hard.

Finally she said, in the smallest voice he'd heard from her yet, "They didn't want me."

Esme felt her heart break.

"I was superfluous."

Esme longed to sweep the human girl into her arms, holding her tightly to take away the pain she saw in the rigid set of her jaw, the tightness of her muscles and tendons as she held herself grimly in a small little ball, curled in on herself as if protecting some vital part she was afraid of losing. But she held herself back, fully cognizant that Bella had pulled away from her arm earlier and not wanting to press what might not be welcome. But it absolutely broke her to hear the child state so matter-of-factly such a terrible fact. Esme mourned her lost son every day of her long life, and she couldn't imagine a mother not wanting a child, particularly a child as sweet and unprepossessing as Bella. But it didn't matter at this point whether what Bella said was true or not. What mattered was that Bella believed it. Bella believed her mother did not want her, and that was the troubling circumstance.

What the girl had explained about her life in Phoenix was not pretty, and Esme hated knowing that it was probably a good sight better than her life in Forks. While there might not be any memories of physical pain in Phoenix - unless hunger from malnutrition counted - the emotional pain of dealing with an irresponsible mother like Renee must be staggering.

"I'm superfluous with Charlie, too," Bella murmured, speaking the words into a fold of her blanket, where she'd buried her head."But that's nothing new, you know?And Renee deserves to be with Phil. She deserves to be happy."

Esme couldn't stand it anymore. The conviction in Bella's voice, the absolute belief that her mother's desires trumped her own, broke Esme's resolve and she slid her arms around the warm little human, pulling her close.

As if a wall had come down, Bella's arms dropped the blanket and curled firmly around Esme's shoulders, gripping and holding tightly. Esme smelled salt a moment before she felt the first wet touch of a tear on her neck, where Bella had buried her head."I would have wanted you," Esme crooned, not knowing what else to say. She stroked the dark, silky hair with one hand, pressing Bella's head gently against her, letting her know that it was okay to hide for a while. This had been hard, and the worst was yet to come."From the beginning, I would have wanted you."

The words were meant to be soothing, but they only served to make Bella cry harder. Esme looked over at Carlisle, at a loss.

"Let her cry," he said, his voice too low for human ears to pick up."It's healing to grieve, and that's what she's doing. Mourning a childhood she was never permitted to have." He sighed. "I wish she'd talk to a counselor, but it's too soon to expect that. Hopefully in time."

Esme returned her attention to the girl in her arms."You're not superfluous here, sweetheart." She continued murmuring what she hoped were soothing things as she held Bella, rocking a little. And she decided something. They couldn't give Bella back her childhood - no one could. But they could try to give her some of the things she'd missed out on, as they learned the specifics of what those were. Cooking and baking with her mother were certainly on the list, and Esme vowed that there would be a lot of kitchen time for the two of them in the near future.

Bella stilled sooner than Esme had expected, and she felt the girl's arms tighten around her in a hug."Thank you," Bella whispered into her neck, her breath warm on Esme's cold skin."Renee didn't like to hug."

Esme held her a little tighter."You mean she never held you?"

Bella shrugged, the gesture awkward within the embrace."When I was a baby, I'm sure," she said, her voice still quiet and shaky."But it wasn't her thing."

"Well," Esme said, "if that's the case, there's plenty of people here to ensure that you'll never be without a hug again." She'd had to quickly revise her words, for she'd originally planned to say that she, herself, would never be releasing Bella again. But there was Alice to think of, and Rose. Though Rose was not particularly physically demonstrative with anyone except Emmett, Esme suspected that for Bella she might make an exception. Emmett was a huggable bear of a man-child and would certainly join in if Bella let him. And Edward, of course. Esme turned her head to look at her tousle-headed son. His eyes were black with anger, and he held himself very carefully. When he looked at her, the sheer amount of pain she saw brimming in his eyes left her with no doubt that he loved this girl. He was hurting for her, hurting for the confused child she had been and for the frightened young adult she was now. It would probably do him a world of good if Bella was in his arms, but she wasn't like a baby you could pass from person to person.

"I'm sorry, Bella," Carlisle said quietly when it seemed that the storm of tears had calmed. "I know this is hard. Do you want to stop for a while?"

She took a deep breath and moved, not slipping out of Esme's mothering arms but sitting up and gathering the blanket around herself again."No," she said, sniffing a little and wiping at her eyes with the heels of her hands."Better all at once."

Carlisle agreed, but he was more than willing to give her a break if she felt she needed one."Just let us know, sweetheart," he reminded her.

"So that's why you came to live with Charlie, baby?" Esme asked gently, handing Bella a box of tissues Edward had fetched while she cried."For Renee?"

Bella nodded."It s-seemed like the better choice," she said, her voice still hesitant, a little hoarse.

Better for whom? Carlisle wanted to ask, but he refrained. He didn't think pushing that issue would do any good at this point. They were just trying to get facts."And you knew what Charlie was like?" he asked instead."This isn't new?"

Bella nodded."I knew."

And there it was: there was no more procrastinating that they could do."What does he do, Bella?"


Okay, I don't hang you from cliffs on purpose. I try to give you from 6k to 7k words each posting (around 10 pages, the way I have my margins and font set in Word), and it just happens that sometimes the only reasonable breaking point is maybe a li'l suspenseful. Anyway, you're in luck, because I try to post on Thursdays. And since I was late this week, there's less than a week before the next posting! And it's already written! Mwah!