Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
Fortuna16: Hey guys I'm Windy's new (and old?) beta, but basically now have me!! Also, Windy has been amazing and has already sent me the next two chapters so updates every week will be fulfilled!
Chapter 11: Discovering how Naruto Copes
To say that Naruto was scared was an understatement. Naruto was petrified with terror beyond belief. Shizune had been right when she thought Naruto was terrified to be placed in the hospital, the mere thought brought up horrible nightmares for him. However, Naruto was mentally strong enough to go to the hospital if he really needed to as long as he had someone he knew with him. Being surrounded by Tsunade and Shizune, as well as Sakura, gave him the courage to be there for his injured teammates. Shikamaru being there when he woke up after meeting Gamabunta staved off a panic attack. He would admit to himself that it had been difficult to stand in the white room with images of blood and knives running through his mind. It was not, in fact, what stopped him from going to the hospital for his illness though. If it was solely the illness, then Naruto would have gone to Tsunade and asked quietly for help months ago. He would have asked Iruka to be with him, and Naruto believed that he would be fine with those two there. No, what stopped him from going to the hospital was a completely different matter.
He had thought it was all over the moment Shizune said she'd done a diagnosis on him, but somehow, someway, she had not found out about… the other damage. Kyuubi told him once that his healing abilities could not reach the areas that the seal touched or his heart because the heart was the center of Naruto's soul. He had lied to Guruko when he said that the damage from… being raped was completely healed. There had been a few times that Syne had come to him with… male companions instead of her female friend. From time to time there was a still a twinge of pain, telling him rather harshly that whatever was wrong had not healed. That area was under the seal and thus Kyuubi could do nothing. He was merely a very good actor. Maybe it was because Shizune hadn't thought to check that area, but whatever it was to cause this oversight, Naruto was thankful.
There were dire consequences for anyone finding out that information. The contract he had signed in blood that night with Syne made sure of that. Guruko was an exception because Syne didn't know that he could speak and Naruto thought that with enough persuasion, he could convince the dog not to say anything. He still had two weeks with him and Naruto found that as long as he said things in a certain way, the dog would listen to him. He needed to do damage control with Shizune though. The young medic thought that his 'illness' was just that, an illness that could be fixed with medical ninjutsu.
The illness that came to him each night was Naruto's punishment. It was a call, something that Syne used to force Naruto to come to her when she wanted… that. As long as Naruto could take the pain, he wouldn't have to go. Sometimes she would corner him after work though and when she activated one of the two seals she placed on him the night of the signing, Naruto was incapable of fighting back. She had taken away his freedom, his ability to get away or say anything and stripped him of any attempt to get help. The Anbu had pulled every favor she had to make sure Naruto couldn't get to the Hokage before he was forced to sign the contract. The moment he signed it, escape became impossible and going to the Hokage a suicidal plan.
Naruto remembered how he thought back then with painful clarity. At the time the Hokage had been the only person to care about him. He didn't even meet Ayame or Teuchi until after he received the new apartment from Syne and that was because the ramen stand was in the nice part of the village near the academy. He walked from the opposite side of the village to get to school every day when he lived in the now fire damaged apartment. If Naruto had waited to get the old man's help for even a few more days, he would have died. There was no doubt in his mind about that. It was either sign the contract or freeze in some godforsaken alley till death took him. He tried over and over again at every apartment complex in the village to find a place to stay, and each and every time he was denied. For the ten year old, it had been heartbreaking and painful.
Starvation. Cold. Fear. Pain. All of these were driving points. Still… even as a ten year old he had felt disgusted with the idea. His body in exchange for a home and safety. At several points he considered killing himself rather than going to that woman for help. There was no one in the world that wanted him, no place that welcomed him, and everywhere people hated him. If he had killed himself, no one would care or even hold a funeral for him. Then a thought struck a chord in him. It disturbed him and yet, at the same, time bore a tiny speck of light inside. She did want him. For reasons that horrified and disgusted him, but in the end she did want him.
The thought was odd. He was a ten year old orphan who jealously watched other children interact with their mothers. Angry when they would say rude things to their mom or just plain didn't listen to them. If he was one of their sons, Naruto would never be rude to her and would always listen to her. That burning desire to have someone hug you at night and care about you was always painfully there, right under the skin. Naruto wasn't naïve. He knew that she would never be nice to him or care about him, but wouldn't it be nicer to be in someone's hold rather than alone and frozen in an alley? She actually wanted him, offered him a warm place to live and a home away from drunks that would beat him and dogs that would try to bite him. He wouldn't have to resort to shoving himself as far back as he could in a box to keep the cold away. She wanted to help.
These were the thoughts that ran through his mind that day when he had been desperate enough to sign a blood contract with her. Even in this half dead and desperate state of mind, he had been smart enough to demand some way out. He manipulated her greed and she had fallen for it. The amount was dauntingly large, but it was there, in blood where she couldn't deny it. If he paid her a certain amount of money, the contract would become void and he would be freed. Naruto was very close to that amount. He only needed a few more months to raise it. For three years now he had been working day and night, buying the cheapest foods and clothes, using his supplies with the upmost care. He never ate breakfast and sometimes skipped lunch or dinner if he thought he could afford to. He begged childishly for higher ranked missions to get more cash and even resorted to stealing a few times after a particularly vicious night with her.
When Tsuande first offered the first Hokage's necklace his mind had immediately jumped to every dark place he knew that he could sell it to for a large amount of money. It would have been enough to free him ten times over. He'd been incredibly excited about it until Shizune came to talk to him. He'd been disheartened, but still determined to win it in order to free himself. After the battle and getting to know Tsunade and Shizune though… he didn't have the heart to sell it. So the crystal stayed around his neck, the tiny chimes on either side of the crystal so soft that only the wearer could hear them.
Syne had been out of the country for the last few months, since the beginning of the chunin exam, on a special Anbu mission. She had not returned till a month and a half ago. The deal was elaborate, in order to ward off suspicion so that Syne would not get caught, she would call Naruto only at night and never when Naruto was on missions. The call was a torture seal, if Naruto wanted the pain to stop all he had to do was cooperate, fight and the pain continued. Syne was always vicious after an abroad mission and wouldn't let up until she'd had her fun for a few weeks. Being on Team 7 for the past year had made Naruto especially rebellious though, and the woman was not happy with him at all. And an unhappy Syne made for an extremely unhappy Naruto.
He remembered with a shudder what happened when he came back from his Wave mission and refused her for an entire month after she had come back from a four month mission not even a week later. She'd cornered him after work and… rented him to a couple men. It was one of Naruto's worst memories. He hadn't been able to look at any of his team members for weeks. It took several boiling hot showers just to get their feel off his body. The entire time through the 'rent,' Syne had the torture seal as high as it could go, any higher and it surely would have killed him. This was also the first time since then that he'd fought back.
So, to say the very least, Naruto was terrified. If Shizune found out and told everyone and Syne found out that she was caught… he would die. He only needed a few more months before he was free and now everyone and their brother seemed to suddenly care and want to help. It wasn't their fault, he couldn't blame them. It wasn't like they knew they were practically holding a noose around his neck. It was with a distraught ache in his heart that he knew what needed to be done. The only way to get Shizune off his back was to get better and the only way to do that would be to… to go to Syne.
Naruto shifted his hands underneath the blanket. It was early afternoon and Shizune sat in his kitchen, paperwork on the table, as she waited for him to wake up. He had been pretending to sleep for the last hour, furiously trying to figure out a way to get around the situation without going to Syne and failing miserably. Naruto performed a quick kage bunshin to replace him as he quietly grabbed a shirt and his shoes. Without a sound Naruto slipped through the open window and went out of the apartment. He would need to see Syne this afternoon, but there were several things he needed to take care of before that, that a worried Shizune would not allow him to.
First, he needed to see his team and explain why he had been gone for the second day in two weeks. If not for Shizune being there and turning off his alarm, Naruto would never have missed a day of work like this. He needed to get Guruko from Sakura and do some serious persuading. After that he would have to go to the bar and make up some excuse to not come in tonight or tomorrow night. Shizune would most likely stay with him tonight and would not allow him to go out. She would probably have a heart attack if she knew about his extra job anyway. He would also have to make a deal with Syne, something that would make her stop the seal tonight besides telling her that he would cooperate tomorrow night. Naruto's hand went to his stomach, gently touching the skin there. He lost the fat like she had wanted him to, maybe he could make it a bargaining chip.
She'd been right when she said he had been indulging himself. Any time Iruka offered to buy him dinner, when Kakashi would take his team out or when they were on missions where the client was paying, or especially while he was with the rich Jiraiya, Naruto took all these opportunities to stuff his face with food as much as he could. It didn't matter what it was: soup, vegetables, meats, deserts, fish…whatever it was, he ate it and even asked for seconds, eating until his stomach was unpleasantly full. He had spent most of his life starving so he took advantage of it when he was offered free food. Quite often he'd been the blunt of Sasuke's or Sakura's jokes during meals, back then he'd thought they'd merely been teasing but now…
He'd noticed the gain in weight over the past few months and hadn't really minded at all. It had felt nice to be honest. No matter how hard he worked out he didn't get dizzy. His stomach never ached and during spars it didn't hurt nearly as bad when Sasuke manage to get a hit to his stomach. He felt stronger than ever and, to him, his punches seemed more powerful. Even when his pants had gotten a little tight he hadn't minded. She noticed though.
It started with small remarks a little over a month ago as they would pass each other in the halls. Never anything that could attract the attention of an accidental passerby, just seemingly innocent things, like a hidden code between them. She would say something and Naruto, as it was coming from her, would know that she meant it in the absolute worst way imaginable. She would comment that his jacket didn't seem so big on him anymore. On her way out of her apartment she would gently pinch his scarred cheek and say how much fuller they looked today. She always talked as if she was speaking with a nephew, 'teasingly' say how Ichiruku's ramen stand must be the richest in Konoha with how much food he engulfed there. Once, the last time before Guruko started to stay with him, she was even angry enough with him to whisper in his ear about how round his ass cheeks had gotten in the time she was away. She never lost her temper in public. It hadn't quite been the nail to get him to go on a diet, but it had been enough to avoid getting seconds on his missions outside Konoha. When it had really hit home that he had gotten fat was when she cornered him outside the bar with the green eyed Anbu woman and they had… brought him back to Syne's apartment.
He flinched as he remembered being pinned to the bed, her hands going down his ass and legs, while he struggled against her. She had frowned at him, a look of disgust on her face as she tugged his pants off of him. "Tut, tut, you naughty child, you've gained quite a bit of weight haven't you? It felt good to get those pants off didn't it? To let that fat ass of your hang out? These tubby legs of yours must have been screaming for air with how tight your pants looked. You know, there's nothing worse than a fat slut." Her fingers gently pinched the skin on his stomach and then slap it a little. "Soon you'll need to get bigger sized pants and be rolled to missions!" She was always cruel, but for some reason those words had been particularly painful. Maybe it was because he cared a lot about what he looked like and she knew it, because for the longest time he blamed the hatred everyone felt for him on his looks. She knew he hated the possession marks on his face and always made sure to comment on how horrendously ugly they made him look.
Every day at the orphanage the children there would talk about the whisker-like scars and call him an ugly freak for it. Many of the foster parents told him what an unbelievably ugly child he was. The marks. His blonde hair. The tan skin. His icy blue eyes. He knew that all these things were uncommon in Konoha and for a time he'd tried everything to hide them. Hooded jackets. Big hats. Nothing worked. These thoughts of how incredibly ugly he looked were only reinforced by the fact that no one at the academy wanted to talk to him. He was always nice, yet they seemed to hate him on sight. When all the girls started commenting on how "handsome" and "cute" Sasuke was and seemed to love and adore him for his looks, it was like confirmation for him. Everyone liked Sasuke because he was good looking even if he was cold and antisocial. Everyone hated him because he was really ugly, even if he was nice and cheerful. It made logical sense to him. After all, they hadn't even started ninja training so how could they know who was a good student and who wasn't?
Even though he had gained a bit of weight, he hadn't thought that he'd gotten fat, but maybe that was just him being naïve? He'd unknowingly added another ugly feature to himself and the thought bothered him immensely. Why hadn't anyone mentioned that he'd gotten fat? Surely someone noticed? Had Sasuke and Sakura been trying to tell him he'd gotten fat when with their comments about how much he ate? A part of his mind told him that it wasn't his looks that people hated him for but for the Kyuubi. For ten years he'd thought it was his looks though. For two he thought it was because he was a demon, like Syne told him. It was only the past year that he knew the truth of Kyuubi sealed inside of him and thus ten years far outweighed the emotional scale than one. He purposely had no mirrors in the house because he hated looking at himself. What didn't help the matter was that Naruto had no idea what a healthy weight for his size was supposed to be.
So for the past few weeks he had been weighing himself in his bathroom and sneaking into the bathroom in the Hokage tower after missions to take peeks at himself. He would lift up his shirt and touch his stomach in disgust as it moved a little. Not knowing that he was actually slightly underweight for his age and height. Plus, with only having the comments of others to go by, left Naruto feeling that the slight movement of his stomach was a very bad thing. Naruto looked at the mirror image with self loathing, his eyes trained on the lard of fat his mind saw.
As Naruto neared the training ground where Team 7 practiced, he felt his arm itch horribly but ignored it. Now that he was close enough he could see that it was only Sakura with Pakkun and Guruko off to the side a bit, watching her practice a low level medical scalpel. "Sakura-chan!" Naruto called out with a wave. She turned and when her eyes fell on him they turned angry. Naruto stiffened at the glare, it reminded him so much of the look he nearly bulked and stepped back. At the last second he managed to reign in the feeling and not react. Sakura crossed her arms and glared angrily at him as Guruko came and sat beside him.
"You leave my party early. Fine. You ask me to take over your responsibility for Guruko for the night. Fine. I open up my presents and find out my own teammate didn't even get me a birthday present. That hurt, but okay. You don't pick Guruko up this morning like you promised. Irritating. You don't come to the bridge so we can't take any missions. That pisses me off. I have to pay for Guruko's lunch out of my own pocket because you still haven't picked him up? What the hell is wrong with you? This is the second time in two weeks that you've missed missions!" Sakura yelled out, anger leaking in every word.
Naruto had forgotten about the present. He didn't have the heart yesterday to give it to her after what Sasuke did. It had lost its specialness. He'd left it in the pocket of his jacket in the apartment. A part of him whispered that it didn't really matter, that she wouldn't wear it anyways, because it came from him, her worthless teammate. He tried hard to push such thoughts as far down as he could, but more often than not, they still managed to seep in. Naruto opened his mouth to explain, but Sakura cut him off.
"Nevermind, I know exactly what's wrong with you! You're selfish and arrogant and always try to be the center of attention. When you told me the other day you wanted to change for the better I believed you, but you're not even trying. Your nothing like Sasuke and will never be as good as Sasuke. Sasuke gave me a present that took a lot of time and effort to think of. He showed that he cared about his teammate. I would have been happy with a simple card! But no, you didn't even do that. It really hurt, you know? You were only there for half an hour before you left and gave me the job of watching Guruko at my own birthday party. I bet you didn't even have a sick friend. God, now that I think about it, that's one of the most common ditch excuses ever used! Sasuke stayed for the whole party and even offered to watch Guruko and Pakkun for me because it was my birthday. Sasuke arrived on time but went to train by himself after we realized you weren't coming."
Each jibe felt a little worse than the last. Somehow, more so than anyone else he knew, Sasuke and Sakura knew just the right words that cut the deepest. He had already felt incredibly guilty about the present, already felt bad about having to leave Guruko with Sakura. He had been doubting himself horribly ever since his fight with Sasuke on the roof and been wondering if his teammates thought him as worthless as he felt. It was as if Sakura peered into his mind and picked the best insults Naruto himself could think of before laying them out before him in her own voice. You can never even be compared to Sasuke. You're worthless. You're a monster Naruto. Nothing you can ever do can change who you are. I don't want anything to do with you, I don't even want you as a teammate. You don't care about your team, how could you? You're a monster.
Naruto swallowed, but his throat felt dry and it caused a dry lump to stay in his throat. How did he somehow always end up screwing everything up? He hadn't planned on collapsing in the streets or Anko bringing him home or Ibiki getting Shizune or Shizune turning his alarm off and keeping him in bed. He hadn't planned on sleeping till twelve because Shizune put medicine inside the teacup she'd given him. He'd planned on picking Sakura up a present that Sasuke hadn't already gotten her on his way to her house in the morning, planned on apologizing and saying he forgot to give it to her last night, planned on arriving on time and doing his job, planned on being there for his teammates. For him though, plans never seemed to go the way he wanted.
It hurt so bad and the itch in his arm had intensified to an almost unbearable ache. Sakura accused him of not being there for his teammates, for not caring about them. For him, that was the worst insult anyone could ever give him, more so than even monster. His very purpose for living, the reason he got up each day, was to do just that. That was his role in life, to be there for his team and to protect them. More so than anything else in the world he wanted his team to care as much about him as he did them. But as long as he could stay by their side and protect them then knowing that they'll never care that much about him was something he could handle. As long as they were safe and happy he was content. For her to say that to him was like a physical stab wound.
Sakura stood in front of him, her tirade over, and waited for him to reply. When Naruto just stood there and refused to say anything Sakura began to tap her foot in irritation.
"What do you have to say for yourself?" Sakura finally snapped after a few minutes.
Guruko growled at her threateningly, which Sakura just glared back at even as the dog moved between her and her teammate. She had learned through the night that Guruko had for some reason or another become rather attached to Naruto and got angry whenever the blonde was insulted in front of him. Sakura had thought it was cute last night but at the moment it just annoyed her. Naruto mumbled something causing Sakura to raise her gaze from the dog to Naruto. For some odd reason Naruto wasn't wearing his forehead protector and with his head bent down slightly his too long bangs covered his eyes completely.
"What? I didn't hear you." Sakura asked huffily.
"Why are you even angry?" Naruto asked softly. Sakura felt fury rush through her. He had the gall to… she just finished explaining why she was angry! She opened her mouth to reply but Naruto stopped her. Naruto's head moved up and Sakura stared in shock. Naruto's blue eyes were shining with hurt that she had never witnessed before, tears threatening to fall at any moment. Naruto bit his lip, looking at the ground for a moment as if hesitant to continue, before he turned to her again. "Why are you even mad? Any other time you would be more than happy that I'm not around." Naruto whispered unsteadily. Then, quietly, he turned around and walked away. Guruko growled at her, absolute hate shining in his eyes as he too turned and trotted after Naruto. Off to the side Pakkun stared after the blonde, a great deal of concern and worry in his eyes as Sakura continued to look at the spot Naruto stood two seconds ago in shock.
"Well, that was unexpected," Pakkun muttered.
Far away just outside the city section of Konoha, Naruto sat down and leaned against a brick wall, trying to recollect himself and inwardly cursing at his own emotional slip up. Guruko nudged the boy's foot with his nose before sitting next to him.
"Are you alright?"
"Fine." Naruto answered unconvincingly.
"You want to talk about it?"
"No."
"Alright. I'll be here if you do."
"Thank You."
With Guruko by his side, Naruto went to the bar and got the two days off, though grudgingly done. Whether the man admitted it or not, Naruto was one of his best and reliable workers. When it came to talking to Syne, Naruto made Guruko stay outside the apartment building before going to talk to her. He didn't want to take any chances. Syne's apartment, as most Anbu have a tendency to do, held several protection seals on the walls. The rooms were sound proof and, due to Synes teammate being an Inuzuka and thus being well aware of what smell could give away, also smell proof.
Naruto, through a miracle of some kind or another, got Guruko to not say anything to Shizune for the time being. Naruto had a clone henge into Sakura and drop Guruko off before quietly getting rid of the clone in the room and slipping under the covers without the jounin being the wiser. Naruto was correct in assuming that Shizune would stay for the night. When the blonde got up and proved to the women he was alright she 'hm'd" at him and checked his chakra again to make sure it was behaving. Then she disappeared for a half an hour and came back with a grocery bag of food which she then preceded to cook.
Naruto sat at the table with his arms folded and head atop them. His eyes watched the grease drip from the sausages with disgust as she fried them in one of his old pans, but Naruto was not someone who insulted another person's kindness by being rude. Couldn't she have picked something lighter though? Just looking at it was making his stomach queasy. Besides, could he really afford to eat something that looked so fattening? Shizune then cut them up and placed them on top of the noodles she'd boiled a few minutes before hand, adding some kind of red sauce on top of it all. The young medic then made two plates and set one in front of him and herself.
"It smells delicious, doesn't it?" Shizune asked as she dug her fork into it. Naruto stared at the concoction as a piece of the greasy meat slid from the top of the mound to the side.
"What is it?" Naruto asked as he picked up a fork and poked the red covered noodles. Shizune stared at him for a long moment, a piece of noodle half way to her mouth, eyes shining with disbelief.
"You've never had spaghetti before?" Shizune asked after finishing the bite. When Naruto shook his head to indicate he had not, her eyes began to twinkle with mischief. "Then go ahead and try it! It's very good and if you don't want to eat the meat that's fine. I know your still recovering from being sick." Shizune relented. She watched him diligently, wanting to see his expression when the boy first tried it. Naruto hesitantly twirled the noodles onto his fork and put them in his mouth.
The taste was good, he had to admit. And it was a lot less on the heavy side than he'd first thought so his stomach didn't protest. He smiled at Shizune as he swallowed and nodded. "It's very good, you're a really good cook!" Naruto told her. Shizune blushed which caused Naruto to outright laugh.
"It's about time you ate something other than rice and ramen." Guruko commented from his spot on the floor. "Not much of an improvement though, seeing as it's still noodles." Shizune tilted her head toward the dog and smiled.
"I thought I'd start him off with something he was semi-familiar with before trying other things on him." Shizune admitted. Naruto froze.
"What do you mean?" Naruto asked carefully. Shizune smiled at him reassuringly, seriousness suddenly taking over.
"You didn't think I'd just leave you alone after this did you? You obviously need medical care. Your cabinets are empty of food. You look like you belong more in a refugee camp than in the ranks of shinobi. Seriously Naruto, I know you're determined to take care of yourself, but when you're sick, you're suppose to seek help!" Shizune said sternly. Naruto shook his head at her.
"I don't have the money to pay for medical care and I've got enough food to get by to it's fine. Not to mention, being sick has never gotten in the way of any of my shinobi duties. If you hadn't drugged me this morning I would have gone to work like any other day!" Naruto shot back. Shizune frowned at him, sadness clear on her features.
"Lady Tsunade and I are medics, Naruto, and we both care deeply about you. If you needed medical help, you should have come to us immediately. I don't care if you have the money to pay for it or not! Neither of us would have charged you anyways. You should have gone to Kakashi a long time ago for help with this. Enough food to get by? Naruto you're nothing but skin and bones for god's sake! Rice and ramen is not enough to live on and it surprises me to no end that you haven't collapsed while on missions. You can't keep forcing yourself to go to work Naruto. You need to stay home and get better." Shizune told Naruto. Naruto shook his head at her.
"My fever is gone and I'm all better. You don't need to stay here and babysit me like some kid. I've made it this far without help and I've been through worse times so don't worry about me." Naruto said as he slowly put another bite of spaghetti into his mouth. He learned a long time ago that the slower you eat the sooner you feel full. Shizune put her cup down with a loud thud, her eyes blazing angrily.
"You are only better because I was here to temporarily heal you. Whatever it is that's making you sick will come back! I'm not gonna let you live by yourself with this Naruto! I know you were alone as a child, but that's not true anymore. Don't shut out your friends when all they want is to help you." Shizune said, her voice rising to a yell towards the end. Naruto flinched, god he wished she would stop.
"She's right Naruto. I think you should listen to her. Your sick for many nights during the week and I can tell you're in lot of pain from it." Guruko added hesitantly. Naruto glared slightly at the dog, irritated with the both of them. He had to think of a way around this fast. "What if…" oh god the coming weeks were going to be horrible. "What if you set up appointments? I'll come every other day to these appointments and you'll check me out. If the sickness comes back then I'll do what you want, but if it doesn't then you'll stop worrying. Okay?" Naruto asked Shizune and Guruko. Shizune looked at Naruto wearily, suspicious of the sudden cooperation from the usually stubborn genin.
"There is still the problem with your heart." Shizune said slowly, watching Naruto for a reaction. "Tsunade needs to examine your heart so that we can get a better idea of how to fix the damage." Naruto flinched horribly at that, hands dropping from the table to his lap. He certainly didn't want to go into another operation, the thought caused a shudder to go down his spine.
"Is that really necessary? Can't I just live with the damage?" Naruto asked. Guruko's cold nose touched Naruto's hand, unsure why the preteen seemed so frightened all of a sudden. "What's this about heart damage?" The dog asked as he stared up at Naruto's slightly shaking form. Shizune's eyes softened.
"Naruto's had heart damage since he was very young. Something went very wrong in his last operation and the some of the damage was never fixed. Most likely Naruto will have to have another operation and I'd like to have it done before Naruto goes on another big mission with his team." Shizune explained to the dog. She then turned to Naruto. "I'm sorry Naruto-kun, but to be completely honest I don't see how your heart hasn't become a problem by now. In fact it makes me think that it has been causing you problems, but it's been damaged for so long you don't know what's normal. Not to mention it greatly effects how well you can control your chakra. An operation soon would be the best for you."
Naruto stared down at his food blankly, unsure how to take the news. "I really… I just… I don't want… can't I just…?" Naruto mumbled out, his hands clenching his pants till the knuckled showed white. Shizune stood from her seat and when she reached Naruto the young medic wrapped her arms around the small genin. Naruto shook, shaking his head from side to side, as if denying it would make the problem go away. After several long minutes Naruto stilled in the women's arms and sagged against her frame.
"It won't be anyone else right? Just you and Tsunade?" Naruto asked quietly.
Shizune squeezed Naruto's shoulder's tightly.
"I swear to God that no one else with so much as touch you." Shizune promised.
Naruto bit his lip hard, eyes trained on the ground, avoiding Guruko's imploring stare. "I… I really don't have the money to pay medical bills for something like that." Naruto protested weakly. Shizune smiled.
"Tsunade and I will pay for it and I don't want to hear about any attempts at paying us back." Shizune said sternly. Silently and hesitantly Naruto nodded his head.
"Can Iruka stay with me until… you take me in?" Naruto asked, fingers brushing through Guruko's fur. Guruko leaned into the touch, aware that whatever Naruto was so terrified of, only Shizune knew. The sadness in the women's eyes spoke volumes as she looked down at the dog's human friend.
"I promise, Iruka can stay with you till you go in." Shizune said reassuringly. Naruto nodded his head again.
"Alright." Naruto finally answered, Shizune squeezed his shoulders tightly once more, trying to give him some of her courage. She knew how difficult this would be for him. The last operation a horrific nightmare that she was sure caused the boy to wake up screaming in the night. "Good. Now for food, I'm going to be here at five every day to cook dinner for you! When I come I'll check up on you physically." Shizune chirped. So caught off guard was the boy he actually fell out of his chair.
"What?!" Naruto asked horrified.
Shizune stayed all last night, periodically checking Naruto's temperature every half an hour. Naruto tried to get her to leave early, saying that he was completely fine, but she would have not any of it. Naruto didn't get sick that night because Syne hadn't called him, just as they'd agreed. That meant tonight Naruto would have to willingly go to her place. He and Shizune had talked for quite a while, deciding when he should go see Tsunade with her. They'd decided that they would wait a week from then until Shizune was sure that the illness wasn't going to come back. They would do it next Monday and then decide from there whether he needed an operation or if something else could be done to fix the problem. Piles of problems seemed to have fallen like a set of dominos, each new one setting off another and each just as bad as the last. All the stress was getting to him.
Another problem was Shizune. The women seemed determined to make him gain weight. She hadn't been satisfied until he'd eaten at least half the plate and she planned on doing it every single night. He really didn't understand why she felt compelled to make him eat so much food, but he was not happy about it. He'd worked hard to shed the ten or so pounds he had gained from pig outs and Syne would be really angry with him if she saw him gaining them again. It made him a bit annoyed that after all of Sasuke and Sakura's teasing and insults about him eating so much that they hadn't even noticed that he'd stopped the last month or so ago. It didn't bother him too much though, because neither of them ever said anything towards him about anything unless it was negative so Naruto took their silence as a good thing. He'd have to find a way to eat the food for Shizune and not gain weight for Syne. His head was beginning to hurt as he attempted to take control of the situation.
Training among the members of Team 7 was uncomfortable and tense. Naruto didn't want to talk with Sasuke or Sakura at the moment due to Sasuke's betrayal and the argument he'd had with Sakura. Sasuke who, feeling slightly guilty but mostly contented with the hurt he'd caused Naruto, stayed in his own little area practicing fire jutsu. He was still incredibly angry with Naruto for their unfinished fight on the rooftops of the hospital and felt that Naruto deserved the treatment he was getting from him. Sakura, still shocked by what Naruto said to her yesterday, meekly took the scroll of medical information she'd been given to read and sat at the other end of the training ground.
The suffocating silence between them was painful. While Naruto didn't want to talk to them, another part of him was dying to break down and tell them how horrible everything had been for him the last few weeks. They were the closest thing he had to what someone would call siblings and he desperately needed them at the moment. The problem was that they were part of the problem. His life this past few weeks wouldn't have been nearly as bad without them adding on to it. How could he tell them that he needed a heart operation? How could he say that he was terrified by it? How could he tell them that he had been attacked by someone and been hoping that they would notice his absence from missions and come find him? How could he explain to them his financial problems and being sick and how hard it had been just to go to work? How could he tell them anything when he wasn't sure if they even gave a damn about him?
He was the only one in the rookie twelve that they treated so callously. He was the only one that they so casually insulted and ridiculed on a daily basis. He was the only one that they managed to forget to say happy birthday to. He was the only one that got hit for the smallest mistake. They treated their own teammate as if he was an enemy that needed to be constantly put down so that he didn't become a threat. The question was, was what threat they thought he could pose?
He would always consider them to be the most important people in his life, but now and since the beginning, he could never trust them with his problems. There was a thick glass wall between him and them. It was acceptable to tell them happy things and to smile and laugh with them, but anything deeper or darker had to be held inside and ignored. And that was okay with him, because he was so used to doing it with everything in his life anyways. All he needed was one thing to make it through the day and it was definitely not a person. He desperately needed that stress reliever before he had to go see Syne.
Naruto wouldn't look at him. As they walked home from training, Guruko noticed that Naruto was being extremely quiet. His eyes were focused solely on the ground directly in front of him the whole way. It had annoyed the dog that they had gotten to the training field only to have the three supposed teammates do everything in their power to ignore each other. Guruko tried to get Naruto to talk to his teammates, but the preteen adamantly refused to speak with them. Not that the dog really blamed him after what the two of them had said and done to the blonde. When they walked into the apartment, Naruto went about normally, pouring Guruko some more food and watering his plants.
"Guruko, I'm going to go take a shower, alright?" Naruto said softly as he moved to the bathroom.
"Fine, just don't take too long, Shizune will be here in an hour." The dog called stretched as he padded over to his water bowl, listening as the shower turned on in the background. Guruko couldn't help but snicker. For a guy Naruto always took a really long time in the shower. The alarm went off in Naruto's room, the annoying buzz ringing through the small apartment. Naruto must have forgotten to turn it off before they left this morning and the stupid thing had probably been going off every ten minutes.
Guruko glowered in hatred at it as he slunk into the small bedroom. He knocked the abomination off of the dresser and let it fall to the ground with a thunk, smiling in satisfaction. The stupid thing was still ringing though. Guruko hit it several times, trying to push the tiny little buttons to shut it up. At one point he even lightly chewed on the block of noise, mindful that Naruto would be angry if he broke another alarm clock. Still, the thing continued to ring incessantly.
Guruko gave up and went to the bathroom door to get Naruto so that he could stop it. "Naruto!" Guruko called, paw scratching the door. No one answered. "Naruto, your alarm is driving me insane!" Still no answer. "Irritating blond." Guruko muttered as he glared at the door in front of him and smirked. The front door was always locked so Guruko could not open it, but the bathroom door was a completely different story. Guruko pulled off his blue vest like jacket, teeth careful not to poke holes in the materal, and expertly swung it upwards. Pulling on the cloth when it began to descend and catching it on the knob. 'Let's see if Pakkun could do that!' Guruko thought triumphantly.
Guruko twisted his head and turned the knob, quickly pushing his body against the wooden rectangle to open it wide. So what if he embarrassed Naruto a little, if it meant getting the evil alarm to shut off. Guruko let the vest-like-jacket flutter to the ground as he walked through the doorway and stopped dead in his tracks. His entire body was frozen as a pair of frightened blue stared back at him in shock.
Naruto wasn't in the shower. In fact he was still fully dressed, his jacket the only article missing, laying on top of the toilet seat. The blonde had his back against the tub with his legs sprawled out in front of him. That wasn't what Guruko was staring at though. Naruto's face was struck with pure horror as Guruko caught him in the act. From his elbow down six long inches sat a row of deep bloody cuts, some could be considered gashes, on his right arm. Naruto's left hand held a sharp, blood covered razor frozen in the midst of cutting another jagged line into his right arm. They both just stared at each other before one of them began to move, ready to stop the other by any means necessary.
A/N
Slight Spoiler!
Part One: Accidental Companions
Chapter 1: To speak or not to speak
Chapter 2: Get back in bed!
The people in the apartment building are so nice…
Chapter 3: Sometimes I pretend…
Chapter 4: Team 7's complex relationship
Chapter 5: You work where?
Chapter 6: Congratulations Sakura
Chapter 7: Orange monster
Chapter 8: Two necklaces
Chapter 9: Fire and Ice
Chapter 10: My heart…
Chapter 11: Discovering how Naruto copes
Chapter 12: Brother
Chapter 13: Sasuke fed up
Chapter 14: Ino's brilliant prank!
Chapter 15: Broken Memory Seal
Chapter 16: Kakashi FINALLY returns
Chapter 17: Guruko stands tall
Chapter 18: Guruko and Naruto
Chapter 19: Sasuke and Sakura
Chapter 20: Tsunade's final Decision!
(Chapter 20 will include summary for Part Two!)
Part Two: Healing Companion (Premiers July!)
