Chapter Eleven – Close to Perfect

They walked to the van der Woodsen penthouse, his hand clasping one of hers. The constant murmur of the city that never sleeps surrounded them, but the sound was faded, like it was happening outside of the bubble that she felt she was in. At that moment, she didn't feel like the beautiful socialite, the subject of every male's fantasies. Right then, as she walked down the deserted streets of the Upper East Side, she felt like, Serena, a girl, a normal girl; no fame, no perks, no social status, only a normal girl in love. And she loved the feeling; she could smell the freedom. One of the reasons she knew she belonged with Dan was because he was the only one to make her feel that way; herself, not who people wanted her to be.

Her house wasn't too far away, but she wanted to make the feeling last. They walked slowly, no more tension between them, just quiet. It was cold, and the clouds were covering the moon, but she couldn't feel it. She was much too happy to feel it. Sometimes, she considered the fact that it was easy to make her happy. But she didn't care; she deserved to be, after everything that had happened.

A single small crystal of snow fell on her coat, and she stopped to admire it. She smiled as she touched it with the tip of her finger, the warmth causing it to melt. Then another one fell, and another, creating a random pattern on her sleeve.

She loved it. The only time she actually liked to be outside was when it snowed. Everything looked more peaceful covered in white. And she needed some peace in her life. She spun, arms out wide, laughing as she felt the snowflakes cling to her hair. When she stopped, she ran towards Dan, who was standing behind her, watching her with a soft smile on his face. She was happy, and he treasured that.

'It's snowing, Dan,' she said, taking his hands in hers. 'It's so beautiful...' she murmured, as she looked up to the sky.

'Not nearly as beautiful as you,' he muttered, causing her to laugh softly, resting her cheek against his briefly.

'Isn't it a bit early for snow, though?'

He let out a short laugh. 'Sweetheart, it's Christmas Eve tonight. I think it's perfect timing.'

She pulled away to look at him, her eyebrows touching in confusion. 'It can't be. College break started...'

'Quite a while ago,' he finished for her.

She counted back in her head, realising that indeed, he was right.

'My goodness, another Christmas, another year gone by.'

'You know, this is our second Christmas together.' When he saw her perplexity, he corrected. 'Together as a couple, I mean.'

She smiled as she understood and her mind travelled to the best Christmas in the history of Christmases. What a perfect night that was. How happy he made her. How safe he made her feel, even if she had done it countless times before and he was the one new to it. Wanted, loved, she had never felt that way before.

'I...remember,' she spoke softly, bringing her head closer to his.

'I wouldn't let you forget anyway,' he spoke, and sealed the gap between them with a soft kiss.

xoxo

The loud ring of her phone forced her eyes to open, her hand searching for it on the bedside table.

'Hello?' she answered, her voice harsh with sleep. Or lack of.

'Merry Christmas, S! Do you remember our Christmas Eve sleepovers? God, I miss them. We haven't had one in years!' Blair shouted through the phone, her voice ringing in Serena's head.

'Merry Christmas to you, too, B,' she replied, her head falling back on the pillows.

'Hmm, something tells me you weren't up when I called you. Please tell me it wasn't because you and Humphrey celebrated your reunion 'R-Rated' style. Or any style, for that matter.'

'Well, it was Christmas Eve. We do have traditions when it comes to the Night Before Christmas.' She tried to stifle her laugh triggered by the mental image of Blair's face as she digested her words.

'Ew. Here I was, believing that was just a phase with you. Okay, S, I'll leave you to it. I'll see you tonight, at your mother's shindig. Love you, and, uh, wish Humphrey okay-ish holidays from me.'

Serena laughed. 'Okay, I will. Love you, too.'

She placed the phone on the table, and snuggled back into Dan's chest.

'That was a nice wake-up call from Blair,' he muttered, his eyes still closed. She could feel his lips press lightly against the back of her neck, her shoulder, the bare skin of her upper back.

'Yeah, she wishes us a happy Christmas, you included,' she spoke, barely managing to take her mind off the fact that his hand was resting on her abdomen, his fingers aimlessly stroking the skin there.

'Hmm, she's warming up to me,' he said, his breath tickling her back. With the arm he kept around her, he pulled her towards him, and she placed one hand on his back as she faced him. They kissed once more, twice, three times, any notion of time suddenly becoming irrelevant. When they broke away, she nestled in his chest, placing her lips over the skin closest to her.

'Merry Christmas,' she murmured.

His fingers traced a continuous line from the top of her waist to the start of her hips. His attention, however, was focused on something else. How her eyelids covered the most beautiful eyes Dan ever had the chance to look into. How a loose strand of her hair curved perfectly around the features of her face. All he wanted to do was kiss her, but her lips were stretched into a beautiful smile which he didn't want to ruin. It felt good to see her happy.

'I've got a present for you,' he said, suddenly bringing her up with him as he jumped out of the bed. She tied a dressing gown around her waist, while Dan removed a small box from the inside pocket of his coat, which was thrown somewhere in a corner of the room.

'Dan, house rules say that presents are opened after dinner, when everyone is there. I feel like a cheater by opening one early,' she muttered, as she analysed the black velvet that covered the sturdy square in the palm of her hand.

'Don't worry, Believe it or not, I have actually cleared this with your mother. I wanted you to get this when we were alone. Just the two of us. I like it best that way.'

She breathed in deeply, holding the air in her lungs, keeping the pressure there to balance the tension around them. She had seen it before. 'Lily, will you do me the honour of being my wife?' She remembered hating it. Looking at the small box, she realised she didn't want to hate it at that moment, but she does anyway. She didn't want to be her mother. And saying 'yes' to a proposal on Christmas Day is well on the way to that. She wanted to marry him. She wanted to utter the small word that changes everything, to cry as he embraces her and lifts her off the floor, but under different circumstances.

She knows he knows what she's thinking, and she doesn't want to hurt him. So she opened the box, slowly, allowing her eyes to focus on the contents only when the lid is completely removed. A key. She placed it in the palm of her hand, and as soon as the cold metal touched her skin, the breath caged inside her chest escaped louder than expected.

'What's this for?' she asked, once the relief annihilated any fears within her. 'I hope you didn't get me a car; you know I can't drive.'

'If you really think this is a key that would unlock a car, then I don't think you should try learning.' She laughed, and he realised she was relieved. He wasn't sure how to feel about that; if he had proposed to her, would she have said 'no'? That wasn't something he wanted to consider yet.

'This is your key to an apartment not far away from here. Doorman, two en-suits, four bathrooms, balcony, state-of-the-art kitchen, even though it's safe to say I'll be the only one cooking, and I made extra-sure there was a room dedicated to your wardrobe, because I know you love to shop, and the closet space in this room is about the size of my loft, and I wanted everything to be good enough. No, actually, I wanted everything to be perfect, and... Did you know that, surprisingly, not many apartments on the Upper East Side have a closet room? Maybe because people buy another apartment to accommodate their wardrobe... Or they rent their clothes. Even though that's disgusting and potentially dangerous; there are so many skin infections...'

She allowed him to ramble, her heart swelling knowing he did that when he was nervous. She noticed his eyes focused on the ceiling, and his hands were all over the place, as he gesticulated more with every word he got out. She rested her gaze on the key again, and laughed at her ridiculous reaction only seconds ago. She knew it was one of the reasons Dan was still muttering things completely irrelevant to the situation. She realised this was a great step for them; the start of a mature relationship. But it was also a sign, proving the fact that, after all the drama and pain and problems they faced, they belonged with each other. Even though they might have been held back in the past, they were together now, moving strongly forward towards the life they were meant to live. And she couldn't wait for it to start.

'... but who needs a pool, anyways? I mean, I think our Jacuzzi will be more than enough. If you really want to do exercise, we can always go for walks in the park, or we can cycle every day, we can do whatever you want. As long as we do it together, I don't really care. Speaking about caring, there is a lady that comes in every week and cleans, and I know you have classes all day on Tuesdays, so I have asked her to come then so everything is spotless when you get home. Not that I...'

She effectively stopped him when she rested her lips against his, touching his cheek with the palm of her hand.

'Do you know what your problem is, Humphrey?' she whispered in his ear, snaking her arms around his body. 'You talk way too much,' she said, and allowed his mouth to overpower hers, as he pressed her into the mattress of their bed.

xoxoxo

'Christmas is a time for forgiveness. A time to repair bonds and rebuild relationships. Although my husband has unfortunately had no other option than to spend this wonderful day away from his family, I desire to be as close to mine as possible. Serena, I hope you can find it in your heart to give me a second chance, and I would like to express my gratitude towards a man who had no reason to forgive me, but did anyway. Ben, I'm honoured to have you here today, celebrating this holiday season with us.'

People clapped, cameras flashed, and glasses clinched, but as honest as her mother's speech seemed on the outside, Serena knew the truth. Keeping appearances was more important than anything, and Lily knew that the thirty people filling her living room should only know the story, not the reality.

'Merry Christmas.' 'Merry Christmas,' floated around Serena, but she didn't pay any attention to the words, her eyes searching for her mom or Ben, unsure on which order she preferred to find them in.

'As much as he would have loved to be here right now, I'm afraid Jenny, who lives in Hudson at the moment, needed her father desperately during the holidays, and it's only fair that...'

She could hear her, and soon she could see her too, the trail of lies leading her gaze straight on her mother's well-trained face. Anne Archibald, of course the pretences were kicked up a gear.

'Mom, can I talk to you?' Serena interrupted, not daring to care anymore.

'Remember where we are before causing a scene, Serena,' Lily said, her face the epitome of serenity, while the tone of her voice was much sharper than before.

'Why would you do this to Ben, mother? How much humiliation should one human being take? I'm surprised you didn't even think about yourself this time either. Do you know how dangerous this is for you? What if people find out the real reason why he's in New York in the first place?'

'Relax, Serena, I have everything under control. And I meant what I said earlier. I want a fresh start and a better relationship...'

'Stop acting like you care! There is always an ulterior motive with you, and I would love you to fill me in on what it is, so I can get to Ben in time and protect him from yet another disaster created by Lily van der Woodsen.'

She sighed, resting her slender fingers against the surface of her temple. 'I cleared his name, Serena. I dropped all charges against him, and ensured his records are clean. I got the judge who helped me back then to solve everything, and I did it for you. I asked Ben to join us today, so that I could give him his documents and have a chance to apologise, and if you had waited about twenty more minutes, I would have been able to surprise you. But, let's face it, you never were one to be patient, and you definitely don't know how to shy away from a scandal, so please go to the safe, get the papers and give them to Ben before anyone overhears anything and this party turns into a nightmare. I understand if you wouldn't want to be here after that.' She started walking away, but stopped and looked at her daughter one last time. 'Congratulations on the apartment, by the way. I hope you two will be truly happy.' Then she left, leaving Serena behind to contemplate whether she had just done a great mistake.

xoxoxo

'Cabbage Patch, you can at least try to pretend like you belong. Here, just hold this champagne flute, and not by its leg, like someone under the poverty line, who has never seen one before would,' Blair moaned, handing Dan a glass filled to its rim with alcohol. He downed it in one go, and handed the glass back to the brunette.

'Okay, lesson number two. Don't drink it like there's no tomorrow. You know, people here can actually afford to have a second drink, so don't worry, no one will steal yours,' she criticised, passing Dan a second glass, the contents of it disappearing as soon as the first.

'You are a waste of time. Where is Serena and why aren't you with her?'

'I don't know. She disappeared, so I'm waiting for her here.'

'I'll wait with you, because at the rate you're going, by the time S gets here, there won't be any champagne left in this building.' She sat next to him, and as much as she hated to, she felt sorry for him. She knew Serena was the only one he had ever loved, and the same applied for her best friend, and although she would never admit it out loud, she wished they would last this time. There were meant to.

'Sit up straight. You look like a homeless person, and you're making me look bad,' she said, not trying to give anything away.

'Dan, you're here,' Serena spoke, gathering both of their attentions. 'Blair, what are you doing with my man?' she joked, as she got hold of Dan's hands and pulled him up from his seat, snuggling into his side.

'Don't joke like that, S. I was just guarding the '95 Dom.'

Serena laughed. 'Okay. Dan, I need to get out of here. Come with me?' Blair rolled her eyes at the question. In what universe would he ever say 'no'?

'B, I'll see you soon, okay? I have to go. I love you.'

'Love you, too,' she muttered, as she wrapped her arms around the blonde. 'Just a word of advice? Educate him until the next time you take him out in public,' she whispered, before breaking away and rushing toward the large platter of multi-coloured macaroons.

xoxoxo

'So what now?' she asked, her heels barely making a sound against the snow covered concrete.

'I think I know exactly where to go,' he said, taking out a familiar key from the inside pocket of his coat.

A/N: As usual, I am sorry for the delay, but sometimes, I just can't write anything. I hope this is good enough. Please review! Thank you. xx