"I thought I lost you," Rose said quietly as they walked down the dark street hand in hand.
Despite the faint booming of the fireworks overhead, she could hear him munching on the edible ball bearings as he polished off the homemade vanilla cupcake in two large bites.
"That's the one thing that could have made the Solisortus suncakes even better," he mused, smacking his lips together. "Edible ball bearings."
Rose rolled her eyes toward the night sky, frustrated that, despite everything that had happened between them, he still tried to gloss over the moments when she expressed her true feelings. For a few gut-wrenching minutes today she thought he was gone for good - that she had lost him before he'd even gotten the chance to lose her.
She'd held it together, for the sake of Chloe and her mum, wondering aloud about where the Doctor could be, about who would hold his hand now. But on the inside, she'd felt like dying.
"They keep on trying to split us up but they never, ever will," she said, partly to be perverse, partly to will the words into truth.
"Never say never ever," he replied, distractedly. Rose followed his gaze toward the night, but he was looking deeper, far past the exploding colorful showers of light.
"We'll always be okay you and me, don't you reckon Doctor?"
She was trying to provoke him now. Anything to wipe that despondent look off his face.
"There's something in the air, something coming. A storm's approaching."
Rose sighed and dropped his hand. Tell me something I don't know, she thought, feeling the tightness settle in her jaw. He'd grown distant again over these past few weeks, always seeming to be under the console working on new repairs or hidden away in the library, head buried in a book.
She'd even caught him walking out of the Storage Room, once, on his own. It reminded her of the first time she found him in there, following the trail of sticky fingerprints on the door. Both times, his face had had the same guilty expression.
Sure, they still went on adventures, still held hands, still had their tender moments, filled with soft kisses and muffled moans, but it was as if everything had been covered in billowing sheets of plastic; the Doctor's feelings muted, his emotions tucked safely away.
Rose pulled her denim jacket tighter across her chest as they continued walking down the street in silence. They had passed the TARDIS blocks back, neither even glancing at it as they walked by. The ship was her home, and Rose loved it dearly, but sometimes it was a relief to be free of it; to be temporarily released from the weight of the room that held the secrets of her future.
The fireworks had stopped now, leaving only the occasional streetlamp and the dim glow of televisions streaming through sitting room windows to light the way. Aside from the excited oohs and aahs of people watching the opening ceremonies, only the quiet chirps of grasshoppers and the hum of distant passing cars disrupted the silence that settled between them.
The Doctor placed a gentle, guiding hand on Rose's back and steered them toward the right, turning down another street lined with brick semi-detached homes. He seemed to have a destination in mind, but Rose decided not to ask, choosing instead to study his face in the yellow streetlight.
His features were taut, a look she now knew well; he seemed to be working something unsavory over in his mind.
Rose couldn't help her eyes from wandering down to where the collar of his shirt fell lose, a remnant from a hug that escalated earlier that day. The Doctor had started to park the TARDIS when she circled her arms around him from behind, hands drifting down to palm him through the seam of his trousers. It wasn't long before she was sat on the edge of the console, his tie and her jeans discarded on the floor; the Doctor buried deep inside her, thrusting unhurriedly as he continued to work the buttons and levers around her body.
The TARDIS landed with a jolt, the resulting vibrations thrumming through the console tipping Rose over the edge, falling, falling, falling. She gasped and clenched around the Doctor, whose hips had increased their movements now that they were safe on solid ground. It wasn't long before he was grunting against the skin of her neck, tongue darting out to taste the light sheen of her sweat.
While Rose fixed her clothes, the Doctor opened the door and laughed. He returned to the console, zipping his fly before going through the motions of parking the ship again, grinning as he took Rose's hand and they stepped out into London 2012.
The tie had stayed on the floor.
The suburban street grew even darker as people began to switch their tellys off, the spectacle apparently over. The Doctor reached for Rose's hand again and she took it easily, pressing her lips against the arm of his coat as they walked on in silence. She felt bad for being frustrated with him - it was their situation that unnerved her, and her perpetual sense of dread was only heightened by the events of the day.
Her thoughts drifted back to what the Doctor had told her about the Isolus, his sad words ringing in her ears, the look on his face when he told her burned into her retinas.
While they're happy, they can feed off each other's love. Without it, they're lost.
And then there was the other thing he'd told her today, five simple words that fell from his lips before he scooped them back up, refusing to elaborate.
I was a dad, once.
Rose dropped his hand and linked her arm through the Doctor's, pulling him close against her side. He had already suffered so much loss. She hated that she would be the dagger to slice the next hole in his wounded hearts.
"Why did you say that?" he asked quietly, shaking her from her thoughts. "About never ever?"
Rose leaned her head against his shoulder as they walked on, turning onto a busier street that began to slope gently upward.
"I'm sorry - was just trying to get a reaction out of you, I suppose," she said, choosing her words carefully. "I feel like you've been shutting me out these last couple weeks, a bit. Thought if I pushed you, you might… let me in."
The Doctor's lips tightened into a straight line as he processed her words, eyes fixed on the pavement ahead of them.
"I've been feeling shut out myself," he said after a moment, gaze briefly dropping to his trainers. "What happened when I was out getting that part?"
His voice was so even, so casual, Rose had a hard time placing what he was referring to.
"I told you, it was nothing - I just upset myself thinking too much," she replied, repeating her lie that was also the truth. She watched as the lines of his face deepened.
"Why didn't you paint your nails?"
"What?"
"When I left, you had the varnish bottle open, ready to paint your fingernails, but when I came back you still hadn't."
He pronounced each syllable calmly and purposefully; Rose would have preferred it if he were screaming.
"Dunno, got upset, didn't feel like it anymore."
"I found drops of purple paint on the grating."
"Doctor, I don't know what you want me to tell you."
They walked four paces before he answered.
"The truth."
The night air was actually becoming milder, but Rose crossed her arms against her chest protectively. All of the houses were dark now and even the stars seemed to fade away into the heavy blanket of the sky.
The homes were growing posher, the gardens smaller, each lined with delicate black rod-iron fences. Someone had placed a tiny red mitten on a fencepost to their left. Rose smiled as she imagined the even smaller hand it must have fallen from.
"I can't," she said.
The Doctor shoved his hands deep into his trouser pockets and turned his face away from her, toward the shadows. Ten paces, eleven paces, twelve.
"We're supposed to be in this together, Rose. If you've noticed something in your room, if you've realized anything that's changed, you promised to tell me."
"It won't help."
The Doctor turned to face her then, surprised at the calmness in her voice.
"What do you mean?"
"On Solisortus, while you were off exchanging your credits, a little girl came up to me," she said, explaining the situation she had rehearsed so many times in her mind. "She was an Intuitive, and she knew, Doctor."
Rose smiled sadly at him and took his hand once again, squeezing it softly as they continued down the road.
"She just knew. She said it won't help - you can't change it."
"I don't accept that," he replied, glaring at the approaching intersection. "You can't expect me to just give up because some child gave you an ominous message at a street fair, Rose."
"You're right I don't expect that," Rose laughed. "She said you'd try."
The Doctor stopped in his tracks and turned toward her so abruptly Rose gasped, shrinking back as his hands gripped her arms, yanking her toward him.
"Aren't you scared?" he demanded, voice finally matching the strain written across his face. "You should be, Rose, you should be bloody terrified. A room in the TARDIS falls out of sync with time on the same night the devil incarnate gives you a doomed prophecy, nothing we seem to do changes that room in any way, shape, or form - oh - aside from the nearly insignificant mystery mass that's been lodged in the room since you learned of its existence!"
He dropped her arms and turned away, hands tugging on his hair. Rose curled her fingers into tight fists in an attempt to stop herself from shaking.
"Aren't you scared? Because I am," he went on, so quiet and broken she could hardly hear. "I'm scared of the storm that's approaching, I'm scared of losing you, I'm scared of the seven months that are steadily ticking down toward zero."
Turning to face her again, the Doctor rested a gentler hand on her shoulder, eyeing her intently.
"But most of all, I'm scared of whatever happened while I was out on that planet that has made you unafraid."
"I am scared of losing you!" Rose cried, shoving him lightly, hot tears streaming down her face melting her resolve. "That's what I've been trying to tell you all night. I thought I had - thought you were stuck in that blasted picture - and then next thing I know you're on the telly with the torch…"
She trailed off, trying to get rein in her thoughts before they ran completely off course. Taking a deep breath, she reached for the Doctor's hands, squeezing his palms tight as her tears soaked through her lashes.
"The thought of losing you, of losing what we have…"
"It's more than losing what we have, Rose," he said gently. "It's your life that's at stake here. You have to tell me what happened."
She shook her head slowly.
"I can't. Please, Doctor, just trust me. I can't."
The Doctor studied her face, brushing the streaks of tears from her cheeks with the pads of his thumbs. Tilting her head upward, he pressed his lips softly to hers, kissing her tenderly until she stopped trembling.
His breath caught in his throat and it sounded as if he was going to speak, but he swallowed the words back down.
"Okay," he said instead.
"Yeah?"
"Yes," he confirmed, kissing her forehead. "Just promise me you'll tell me when you see the coins, the photograph, or anything else in your bedroom, alright? Will you do that?"
"Alright," she lied.
The Doctor wrapped his arms around her then, hugging her hard as she melded into him, feeling the stiffness of her muscles loosen in his embrace. She couldn't tell him the whole truth, not yet, but the fact that he knew she had a secret hidden away allowed her to breathe easier. It was awful keeping something from him, but at least this way she was honest in her deceit.
After a little while they continued walking, the ground beginning to steepen more dramatically beneath their feet. What with the warming air and the increased effort it took to climb the hill, Rose removed her denim jacket and tied it around her waist. The Doctor left his trenchcoat on, his palm beneath hers slightly cool.
Rose began to recognize the neighborhood a few minutes later, noticing the signs for Marylebone Road and St. John's Wood. She grinned as they crossed through the gate to Regent's Park, ignoring the sign that no one was allowed on the premises after dark.
"I used to come here as a kid," Rose smiled as they climbed up the paths to the peak of the hill. "They'd take us here for lunch after trips to the zoo and we'd eat sandwiches on the grass. When we got older, my friends and I would sneak fags down by the lake."
"Naughty," the Doctor tutted, jostling her hip with his own. "Disobeying authority? That doesn't sound like the Rose Tyler I know."
"Oh, shut it," she laughed, relieved that they were finding their natural rhythm again.
They paused for a moment when they reached the top of the hill, looking down on the sparkling city below.
"This was a hunting park in the 17th century, you know," the Doctor said, following her gaze toward the twinkling buildings beyond in Westminster and the City. "Didn't open to the general public until 1835, and even then you needed a waistcoat and top hat to get in. But eventually it was open to everyone, and it will be for centuries, that is until… well, we don't have to get into all that."
He followed Rose, who had wandered off to a nearby plaque and was straining to read it in the dark. The Doctor reached for his sonic to provide some light, but Rose apparently made out what she needed to and, smiling, turned toward toward him.
"Doctor," she began, tongue caught in the corner of her smile. "Do you know the name of this hill?"
He grinned sheepishly, fingers scratching the back of his neck.
"Primrose."
"Is that why you brought me here?"
"...Maybe."
Rose laughed and clutched the lapels of his coat, pulling him down for a long kiss.
"You're so sentimental," she breathed against his lips. "Rose on Primrose Hill."
"You have to admit, it does have a certain symmetry to it," he replied, fingers curling around her waist. "Although, primroses actually produce yellow flowers."
"Hmm, pink and yellow, where have I heard that before?"
"Oh, shut it," he murmured before doing the opposite of his words and sliding his tongue into her mouth.
They settled on the downward slope overlooking the city, the Doctor removing his coat and spreading it over the dewy grass. It didn't take long for them to pick up where they left off on the path, Rose lying on her back beneath the Doctor as he trailed kisses down her neck.
The city was beginning to yawn in the early hours before dawn, the sky threatening to brighten as the people responsible for opening the shops started to get ready for the day. Neither the Doctor nor Rose noticed this, lost in each other's lips and teeth and breaths as they were.
As the Doctor undid the button of Rose's trousers, she heard the distant scuffing of an eager early morning jogger trotting along one of the paths below.
She propped herself up on her elbows, noticing the sun was beginning to glint off of the glass buildings, making London shine like emeralds.
"Someone might see us," she said reluctantly, stilling the Doctor's hand on her zip. "And I know for a fact they don't outlaw public indecency here until the 23rd century."
"It's early still, and the running paths don't come near here," he assured her, easing Rose back down and tracing her clavicle with his tongue, smiling against her skin as she gasped. "The question is, can you be quiet?"
He leaned back to look at her, Rose taking a few seconds to realize he was waiting for her response. She bit her lip and nodded.
The Doctor returned his lips to her skin, kissing along the collar of her shirt as his hand made quick work of her fly and slipped inside her trousers, tracing the outline of her knickers.
"Mm, so warm, Rose, and I suspect-" He shifted, sliding his fingers down the center of her pants. "Yep, just as I thought, warm and wet and… welcoming. How about that, there's some more symmetry for you - some good old fashioned alliteration."
"I know you find grammar sexy, Doctor, but this dirty talk isn't doing it for me," Rose teased, betraying her words as she bit back a moan while his fingers slipped beneath the fabric of her knickers.
"Oh, I can do dirty talk," he said smugly, slowly spreading her wetness along her skin. "I could tell you all the things I would do to you right now if we weren't in a public park, where someone could stumble upon us at any moment."
Rose gasped, surprised at the thrill that ran through her at the thought - not the prospect of actually getting caught, but the risk. The smug look on the Doctor's face increased tenfold. He took a moment to tug her trousers down a few inches, giving his hand more room to work, and then his mouth returned next to her ear.
"It wouldn't do for someone to catch us with my tongue inside you, lapping your juices as you came, your fingers digging into the roots of the grass, dirt beneath your fingernails you can't get out for days." He bit down on her earlobe as his fingers teased her entrance, grinning around her skin as Rose fought off a moan.
"It'd be even worse if they saw us with your head in my lap, that hot, wet mouth of yours surrounding my cock as you do that lovely swirling thing with your tongue, making me come far sooner than I would like to, pumping into your mouth as you swallow it down."
He slid a finger into her and the moan burst forth from Rose's lips, causing the Doctor to still his movements.
"Shh," he whispered, kissing her deeply. "I love it when you're loud, but you promised."
"Sorry," she panted, wiggling her hips in an attempt to spur his fingers into action. "Just keep talking."
The Doctor kissed her again, moaning quietly into her mouth before continuing.
"Although the worst, I think, would be if they found us the way I want you most," he continued, adding a second finger as he began to work in and out of her again. "With me buried inside you, so deep, Rose, do you have any idea how good you feel when I'm inside you as far as I can go?"
Rose's front teeth dug into her bottom lip as she struggled not to make a sound, the Doctor adding a third finger to pound into her more roughly.
"And have I told you that the best is when I pull out almost entirely?" he asked, voice growing strained, removing his fingers from her as he mirrored the actions he described. "And then thrust back into you, all the way, over and over and over."
Rose's eyes were clenched shut as she alternated between panting and holding her breath, testing different methods of keeping quiet. The Doctor's fingers increased their speed inside her, his thumb extending to rub frantic circles on her clit. Rose reached for the Doctor's fly, finding him hard and tenting against the front of his trousers, but she was so far gone she couldn't unclasp his button; instead she curved her palm against him, helping him find some relief in the form of friction as he ground into her hand.
"We'd be in trouble if they caught me coming inside you, groaning as I spilled into you, hot and thick and wet. And you'd make that delicious sound you make when you come, that noise somewhere between a moan and a sob, that builds in the back of your throat and vibrates along your tongue and wraps around my cock…"
The Doctor trailed off as Rose began to come, covering her mouth with his to absorb the moan he saw coming, the one he knew she couldn't hold at bay despite her promises of silence. Rose bucked against his hand as she clenched around his fingers, one hand digging into his shoulder while the others curled around his thrusting, still-covered cock.
When she grew too sensitive for the Doctor's touch, he quickly removed his fingers, unfastening his fly and taking himself in hand, moaning quietly as he covered himself in the slickness of her juices. It didn't take long before he came too, groaning in surprise to find Rose's mouth there, closing around his tip and sucking gently as he spurted inside her mouth.
After sharing some lazy, salty kisses the two fixed their clothes and settled down against each other on the Doctor's dew-dampened trench. Rose curled an arm around him, lips moving against his throat as she mouthed silent words into his skin.
"Do you still have my camera?" she asked suddenly, stifling a yawn. "You stored it in one of your bigger-on-the-inside pockets last week."
The Doctor rummaged around in his transdimensional pocket, tongue tucked between his teeth in concentration before he smiled and produced what she was looking for.
"Want to be sure we always remember the Doctor and Rose on Primrose Hill, pink and yellow and full of symmetry."
Sitting up, she leaned her back against his chest as she turned the camera around, the two of them smiling sleepily at the lense as she pressed the button and the shutter clicked.
Rose took the polaroid-like photo the camera produced and placed it inside the pocket of her denim jacket, since this type of alien film needed darkness to develop. Returning the camera to the Doctor, she nestled against his body again.
Rose nodded off to sleep just as the sun began to peek above city's skyline.
A few hours later it was, in fact, joggers that woke her up, as it turned out they were only a few feet away from a popular footpath. Rose shook her head at the Doctor in mock scorn while he exclaimed that the path certainly hadn't been there the last time he had visited.
"Fancy a cuppa before we head back to the TARDIS?" Rose asked, yawning while the Doctor brushed blades of grass from his coat.
"Yes, ta," he smiled. "I'd murder for a pastry, too. Or banana bread, perhaps. Or just a banana. Yes, a banana will do."
"I'm sure we can find you a banana, Doctor," she smiled, slipping her arm through his as they set off down the hill.
Back on the TARDIS, when Rose shucked her clothes as she prepared to take a shower, she remembered the photo in her pocket. She beamed as she saw how the film had developed, showing her and the Doctor cuddled against each other, looking foolishly happy.
Her smile faded as she realized she'd seen the photo before, in her bedroom that existed in the future.
Rose fought the tears threatening to crest over her eyes as she walked to the vanity mirror and wedged the photo between the wood and the glass in one corner, smiling sadly down at it once it was in place.
She wasn't sure if she put it there because she wanted to, or because that's where she knew it belonged.
