December 10, Three months, eight days

"I hate everyone." Sirius said, moodily crossing his arms. "You all suck."

"What's wrong with you?" James asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I've another appointment with Pomfrey."

"For what?"

"A checkup. For my childbearing... situation."

"Ohh." James nodded understandingly, and Remus gave him a sympathetic smile.

"Wait, but why do you hate everyone, then?" Peter said.

"You try having someone poke up your bum for an hour, and see how you feel about the world!" Sirius said, before hopping out of his seat, "Right. I'm leaving now."

"Bye."

"See you!"

"Don't leave me, Padfootsie!" Sirius glared over his shoulder at James, and so, walked straight into... you guessed it.

"Godda- Oh. Hey, Aislynn."

"Hey, where to?"

He frowned.

"Hell."

-x-

1 hour later

"Paddy me laddy buck! You're back."

Sirius made a face, "What the- Paddy me what?"

James smirked, and turned to Aislynn, Remus and Peter, "I told you he'd do that."

Remus rolled his eyes, Peter stared in awe at James' amazing foresight, and Aislynn said, "Okay, we bow to your supreme knowledge of... things."

"Hah!"

Sirius (in a well-timed attempt to make people focus on him again) narrowed his eyes. "Next time you call me that, I will kill you. Slowly. Painfully." He jabbed his finger at James, "Got that?"

James raised his hands in surrender, "All right, all right." He peered at Sirius' hand, which was clutching a roll of paper, "What's that?"

Sirius glanced downwards, "Oh, that? Pomfrey said the baby's finally big enough to see, so I got a picture of it. Neat, huh?"

"Ooh! Ooh! Let me see!" Aislynn clapped her hands excitedly, "I love baby pictures."

Sirius shrugged acquiescence and plopped down on the nearest sofa. He unrolled the page and grabbed Remus' book ("Hey! I was reading that!") to weigh down the corner.

They all crowded around the paper (Remus took the opportunity to smack Sirius: "Ow!") and stared at it for a bit.

There was a pause as they searched the picture. Finally, Aislynn said "There's no baby."

"There is so!" Sirius said.

"No there isn't! There aren't hands or feet or anything!"

"Well, it's not that big, it hasn't got any hands yet! It actually looks a bit like a prawn. Or a peanut."

James squinted at the picture again, looking puzzled, and finally pointed at something, "Is that it?"

Sirius repositioned it to look at what James was pinting to. "No. I meant the other peanutty thing."

"Ah." James said, "That other peanutty thing. Thanks for clearing that up, mate."

Aislynn pointed at another one, "How 'bout that one?"

"Nope. At least, I don't think so."

Remus took a turn, "Is it this one?"

"Is what this one?" They all turned around to see Lily, who was walking over to them, looking curious.

"Is the baby this peanutty thing." Aislynn explained.

Lily raised an eyebrow.

"We're playing 'Where's the baby in Padfoot's stupid picture from Pomfrey?'" James said, frustratedly staring at afore-mentioned photograph.

"Madam Pomfrey." Lily corrected, "Hmmm. Is it that one?"

"Which one?" Sirius asked.

"The one's that's moving."

Sirius rolled his eyes, "C'mon, Evans! They're all moving!"

She sighed and squished herself in between Aislynn and Peter, then reached out and pointed "That one."

"Oh. No."

"Do you actually know which one it is?" Remus said exasperatedly.

Sirius shrugged, "No. I just figure I'll know when I see it, you know?"

"You're such a moron! There's at least twenty of these peanutty things!" Aislynn cried.

Sirius gave a dramatic sigh, "Aislynn, Aislynn, Aislynn. How can you doubt my pregnancy intuition?" he tutted at her, "Shame on you."

"Your what?"

James grinned, "Pregnancy intuition." he said, snickering.

Lily pointed at another one, "Is that it?"

Sirius shook his head, "No, it's not." He paused thoughtfully. "Actually, I think Remus already guessed that one."

"Really?" Remus looked at it. "I don't know."

"We should name them so we know which one's which!" Aislynn suggested brightly.

"Excellent idea!" Sirius said, "I commend your thinking." (Cue eye roll at flirting tactics)

"Alright!" James yelled, also eager, "That one, that looks like a lima bean can be Moony Peanut."

"Moony Peanut?"

"Lima bean? I make you think of lima beans?"

Lily jumped in, "Ooh! That one looks like it has a giant head! That can be James Peanut!"

Everyone laughed over James' protests.

"And that one looks like an over sized arse! That's Peter!"

"I don't have a big butt!"

"No, it looks like a giant pair of tits! That should be Lily Peanut!" James said. (FOOL!)

Lily's jaw dropped, "WHAT? You insensitive wart! I can't believe I was beginning to have a good opinion of you! How dare-"

"See that one? I think it looks like a pair of specs, it should be Specs Peanut!" Aislynn threw in.

"No... it should be Me Peanut." Sirius said, "Because if you look at it the other way it looks like a huge pair of-"

"-didn't mean to insult you! It was a compliment!"

"Sirius Black that's disgusting! I did not want to hear that!"

"Eh." Sirius shrugged, "It was for my personal amusement."

Remus squinted at it, "Actually, I have to say I agree, it really does-"

"Hah! We've corrupted you too!" Sirius crowed.

"-worst compliment I've ever received."

"No! I meant with Aislynn! It looks like specs! Not... male reproductive... organs."

"See, I'm right!"

"Moony, you're such a pansy! Just say it!"

"No way!"

"Pansy. Pansy!"

"Fine, you prat!"

"-such incredible disrespect for females-"

"I'm sorry! I'm an idiot!" James yelled.

"Yes, you are!" Lily said, before stalking off.

"You're not s'posed to- Evans! Evans!" James followed her out.

The others ignored the drama, "Remus!" Aislynn said, shocked, "I can't believe you!"

"We do have you corrupted! Hah!"

Aislynn rolled her eyes, "Boys!" before she, too, walked off.

The three remaining boys stared at each other.

"I don't have a big arse." Peter said definitively.

"Shut up, Wormtail."