AN: SM owns Twilight and the characters contained in this story – I own nothing.
Thank you for reading & reviewing! I really appreciated your encouraging words as I had a minor meltdown. And yay, I actually was able to find time to reply to most of them this time! I'm sorry I don't get to do that more often.
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Now, on with the story...
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Their laughter slowly began to die down as they saw the expression on my face. That's right ladies, I really was serious.
"Oh my god," Rose gasped. "Girls, I think he was serious."
"No, he can't be...," Char trailed off as a look of horror crossed her face.
Bella placed her palm over her mouth, though her gasp could be heard clearly by all of our vampire ears. Nice try though, darlin'.
"It was Emmett's idea!" I blurted out quickly. They chose to leave me alone in this, so I felt I owed them nothing in return. That will teach them about being fucking traitors.
"Emmett McCarty!" Rose yelled.
"Peter Whitlock!" Char exclaimed, even though I hadn't mentioned Peter's name, she still knew he had something to do with the planning. I wonder if I should tell her about his tent idea...
Emmett and Peter stopped dead in their tracks and stared at one another in horror. "Peter, hold me!" Emmett exclaimed, throwing himself at Peter, who immediately dropped the wood in his hands and opened his arms to catch him.
"Only if you hold me back," Peter whimpered, shaking exaggeratedly. Oh for fuck's sake.
The girls were not amused by their little display, they were simply digging themselves a deeper hole. I watched on in amusement.
That is until Bella crossed her arms over her chest - causing her breasts to push together deliciously, I might add. I admit I was maybe a little too focused on them to notice the glare she was giving me. All I could think about was that I didn't even get the chance to touch them or lavish them with my mouth and tongue – next time. Fuck, now I'm acting like my cock – planning ahead.
"You approved of this plan, Jasper?" she asked me, narrowing her eyes into small slits.
"I did," I answered honestly. I told her that I would never lie to her - damnit, what the hell was I thinking?
"So this is how you plan to sweep me off my feet, oh mate of mine?" she inquired with a raised eyebrow. Fuck, I didn't realize I would be expected to woo her or some shit. I mean come on, we're mates...no wooing required should be a rule, right? There's no one else out there for either of us anyway, why beat around the bush? But then I sensed her mischief...thank god.
"No," I said drawing out the word, playing along. "But we don't have many options right now. What would you have me do?"
"Let's see...a five star luxury hotel sounds good to me," Rose interjected her opinion on the matter. There was no mischief coming from her - at all - she was quite serious.
"If that were an option, we'd be checking in right now, Rose," I told her calmly, ignoring her glare.
"What do you mean 'if that were an option'? Why the hell wouldn't it be an option?" Char demanded, sending her own very serious glare my way.
"You seem to be forgetting one important fact... Bella's a newborn," I told them, glancing at Bella to make sure she didn't take offense. Being a newborn isn't a bad thing, it just requires a lot of precautions. Hopefully she understands that fact.
"Oh," Char said, instantly contrite. She figured it out quickly since she's been around enough newborns in her past to remember exactly what they are capable of when they need to feed.
"So? It's not like we can't just get her some sunglasses like Peter and Char," Rose argued cluelessly. The only newborn Rose has ever dealt with was Emmett, and that was a bit ago. She must assume since Bella's calmed down that we are in the clear. Far from it actually.
"It's not her eyes he's worried about, Rose. It's the hotel employees and other customer's health," Char hinted to her.
"Huh? Oh shit, I completely forgot – I'm sorry," Rose apologized quickly, glancing over at Bella as well. I doubt she would have forgotten had she seen her response to that state trooper. Not that Bella behaved badly, mind you - just normal for a newborn. It's not like we wake up with some crazy control over our blood-lust or some shit. That would be a thing of fiction.
"What about buying a place nearby?" Char interjected, trying to divert the attention off of Bella – who was staring at the ground. Her emotions were hard to read at the moment...it wasn't just guilt, or embarrassment...it was more...acceptance? God, I hope it's acceptance. I really do hate that self-loathing bullshit.
"If we can find one, we will. It needs to be big enough and still secluded enough though. It could take a couple of weeks to find something – hence the tree house thing," I explained, gesturing over to Emmett and Peter – who were looking hopeful that their tree house plan wouldn't be squashed. They looked like two little kids standing there; wide-eyed with a quivering bottom lip as they still held onto each other. Unfucking believable.
"We could go to our place in Nevada," Char offered hopefully, completely igorning them.
"I'm not up for another road trip, Char, and neither is Bella - I'm sorry. But like I told Peter, you are all more than welcome to find your own accommodations. With the exception of Bella that is," I told her, once again glancing over to Bella. She seemed very wary about the prospect of it being just the two of us. Why didn't she want to be alone with me again? Why the fuck is she pulling away from me? I just couldn't understand it, I thought we were on the right track – for an empath, I was flying blind on this one. All I could feel was her apprehension sprinkled with embarrassment – that told me... nothing.
"No, no...I just thought I'd offer. I figured as much," Char sighed, frowning over at Peter and Emmett – who were now doing some god awful victory dance together. Rose groaned and pursed her lips in thought as she glared at Emmett and Peter's victorious display. Something tells me they hadn't won just yet – the girls would make sure of it.
"Well, if I'm going to live in a fucking tree... then I want a bathroom with a jacuzzi tub," Rose announced defiantly, crossing her arms over her chest. I wasn't sure what kind of tree houses they played in when they were little, but mine never had a fucking bathroom. I assume this was punishment for their little display. This should be quite interesting to see play out.
"What do you need a...," Emmett replied, trailing off at her growl. "O-kay."
"Yeah...and I want my own bedroom with a king sized bed," Char added with a nod, staring Peter down.
"You don't need...," Peter replied, trailing off at her growl. "O-kay."
Bella's abrupt growling brought all of our attention over to her. I thought she was about to make her own demands – not that it mattered, I would give her anything she fucking wanted – but she was staring in the direction of the house and that's when I sensed her as well. Alice. Fuck me. Char and Rose joined Bella's growl just as Alice came into our view. She stopped and stared at us, wide-eyed and nervous. That's good, because right now I could literally fucking kill her; she should be very nervous. What the hell was she doing approaching us? She should know to stay the fuck away after what happened – I thought I had made myself clear earlier, perhaps not.
"Jasper?" she whispered, cringing at my responding growl. "I deserve that," she added, radiating shame.
"What the fuck do you want, Alice," I hissed at her.
"I need to talk to you..."
"There is nothing to say..."
"Please, Jasper. Please, just let me explain," she pleaded. Bella closed her eyes as Rose and Char rubbed her back reassuringly while glaring over at Alice. Just another reason to add to the long list of reasons to kill Alice – she was upsetting my mate.
"I don't want to fucking hear your excuses, Alice. Stay the fuck away from me and my family," I told her, causing her to wince at the implication in my words.
"Jasper," Bella whispered, bringing my gaze immediately over to her. "It's okay, go talk to her."
"Darlin'?" I gasped in shock. She seemed resolved and I did not fucking like it one bit. She can't think I would seriously go back to Alice?
"I understand you two need to talk about some things, Jasper," she replied, meaningfully. Oh thank fucking god, she wants me to tell her about the divorce and finish tying up loose ends...she trusts me – at least on this matter. Fuck yes! Maybe she isn't pulling away after all.
I walked over to her and gently cradled her face in my hands, her eyes fluttering closed at the contact. "I won't be long, darlin'," I told her, bending down to plant a quick but passionate kiss to her sweet lips. She moaned lowly against my lips and I beamed with pride inside – oh yeah, she still definitely wants me. I broke the kiss and turned to Alice, who was now frowning and staring intently at the ground.
"Let's go. I want this over with," I stated angrily, taking off without giving her another glance. She followed behind me silently as I led us just out of hearing range of the others. I wouldn't take her to the waterfall – that was sacred to Bella and I now...that was where we shared our first kiss. It was special and Alice wouldn't appreciate it's simple beauty anyway.
I stopped and turned around to face her, causing her to halt her steps abruptly. She apparently thought we would be going further out – silly girl. I think fucking not.
"Jasper, I'm so sorry," she whimpered immediately.
Remorse...
It's a very interesting emotion. A very complicated emotion...because one can feel remorse but it may not be for what you think. I had to wonder, exactly what was she really remorseful over? What she did? Or the fact that she failed and didn't try a different approach?
"I'm filing for a divorce – immediately," I told her, cutting to the chase.
"I know. I saw," she replied simply.
"Good then you also know that it's completely over between us and to leave my family the fuck alone," I said, trying my best to reign in my growl. I couldn't help it, I was still infuriated at her betrayal. After all these years, how could she stoop so fucking low?
"It's not over," she stated defiantly.
"Oh, it's over. If I had any doubts whatsoever, they all went out the fucking window with your little performance earlier."
"You can still choose me," she whispered. Was she fucking insane? Bella was my mate, I couldn't choose anyone else – nor did I want to. My mate was kick ass, beautiful, and she made me feel alive. At the same time, I felt some sadness overcome me...and surprisingly it was my own. Alice had saved me from myself all those years ago – she had given me hope and a peaceful life. One I never thought I could have. I sighed heavily before responding to her...I owed her some understanding at least.
"Alice...she's my mate. I'm sorry," I told her, partially honest. I was sorry that I was hurting her – but I wasn't sorry that I found Bella. I could never be sorry for that.
"That doesn't matter! We can still be together, Jasper – you just have to choose me!" she exclaimed, moving towards me with the intention of touching me. I took a step away from her – I wasn't going to let her touch me. She was sorely mistaken if she thought she could convince me that way; I doubt she would even elicit a response. My cock yawned in boredom and went limply back to sleep after setting his Bella alarm clock. Exactly.
She huffed in aggravation. I decided to deflect her attempts. "Alice, didn't you fucking see this? That she was my mate? You told me to take it easy on Edward...surely you knew all of this beforehand."
She scoffed at me. "I saw you and Edward fighting in front of the house – I never knew why...or I should say over who. That's why I told you to take it easy on him and why I knew you'd be back."
"You seemed fine with our breakup when I left Forks...why the sudden change of heart?" I demanded to know.
"I wasn't fine, Jasper! You just chose to see what you wanted to see. I was a fucking wreck after you left. You can ask anyone and they'll tell you. I knew there was nothing I could say to make you stay – but that vision told me you would be back and I just thought...well, I thought you came back for me – not her. So I let you go."
"Didn't you see Bella standing there with Edward and I?"
"No," she sneered. There was more she wasn't telling me – she was withholding something.
"There's more to it – explain, right now," I demanded in my no bullshit voice.
"I can barely see her," she announced unwillingly. So many thoughts tossed around in my head at this information. Rose said she had visions of Bella destroying Forks...was she lying about them? What purpose did that serve?
"You fucking lied about your visions of her?" I accused her in disbelief. Would she really stoop this low? Her betrayal of me is one thing, but she would have betrayed all of our trust in her with that.
"No! No, of course not," she argued shaking her head frantically. "I see her sometimes, it's just not clear or it's at the last second...like when she ran. It has to be her shield blocking me or something – it's so god damn frustrating!"
"Why didn't you tell us this sooner?" I asked her suspiciously, monitoring her emotions for lies.
"You don't trust me?" she whimpered in disbelief.
"I don't fucking know, Alice. I certainly never thought you'd betray me the way you did earlier; I'm not sure what to fucking believe anymore," I sneered at her.
"I'm sorry, okay! I saw that it would work...she was going to stay with us and you would have resented her for it. I shouldn't have done it, but – I miss you, Jasper...don't you miss me?" she whispered, her eyes glazed over with venom.
"You're right," I started, causing her to perk up. "You shouldn't have done it," I finished, causing her to close her eyes and choke a sob. Fuck me, I really hate when they cry.
"Alice," I whispered, shaking my head.
"Please," she whispered. "Please...just give us another chance, Jasper. I promise I'll do better," she pleaded desperately.
"It's not about doing better, Alice. It's never been there between us, don't you see? We were never meant to be..."
"How can you say that!" she screamed, completely losing it.
"Because it's the truth," I replied simply. Bella liked my honesty, Alice always hated it.
"No, it's not! Jasper...you can choose me...you can – we just need to let Bella be with Edward and then we can all be happy," she explained. She really is fucking insane if she thinks for one second that I would allow Edward to be with my mate. In what fucking world would I pick her over my true mate?
"Have you seen something, Alice?" I hissed at her. It was the only conclusion I could come up with - she must have seen something...
"I know we can be happy, Jasper," she cooed, ignoring my question. She really needed to answer me - now. My patience with her was wearing thin.
"Have you seen Bella with Edward in a vision?" I growled at her. I fucking hope she hasn't, or I'll go rip his god damn head off right this fucking second.
"No," she admitted hesitantly. Thank fucking god.
"Then why the fuck do you think they could be together and happy?"
"I saw a vision of Edward...and he was smiling and happy...it has to be because of her."
"And Bella?"
Silence...
"Tell me, now," I seethed.
"I didn't see her," she finally admitted.
"So let me get this fucking straight, Alice...you saw a vision of Edward smiling and yet … Bella was no where to be seen with him? Are you fucking insane?" I asked angrily. "You are basing other people's futures solely on what you interpret the visions to mean! You are playing with fire here, Alice!"
"I told you, I don't always get a read on her! It's not a big deal, Jasper, I'm sure she was there somewhere! Why are you obsessing over the details?" she screeched, flailing her skinny little arms wide.
"Because those details, as you so eloquently put it, Alice...happen to be about my mate – the woman I love," I growled at her. She gasped in response to my declaration.
"You love her?" she asked in disbelief.
"I do, and it's not just because she's my mate either... she's smart and she challenges me in a way no one ever has..."
"And she hates you..."
"No, she doesn't, Alice. We've made a lot of progress that you aren't aware of, not that it's any of your fucking business anymore," I growled.
"But you haven't claimed her," she argued futiley. I wanted to lie and say that I had, but there was no point...she knew from Bella's scent that I hadn't claimed her. Any other vampires would know that as well...and it bothered me. I wanted there to be no doubt who she belonged to...she was mine, and mine alone.
"No," I replied, "Not yet." She blinked and venom welled in her eyes as she gazed back at me.
Silence...
"I see," she finally said, looking down at the ground. "I love you, Jasper," she whispered, not looking up at me.
"I know, and I will always love you, in a way," I admitted. "Look, I appreciate what you've done for me, Alice..."
"But it's not enough," she finished for me. She gazed up into my eyes and studied me intently. "You really love her?"
"Yes."
"Okay then."
Her words were resigned but her emotions weren't so much. She still radiated a fair amount of hope mixed in with that resignation – she needed to get over that shit quick. It wasn't fucking happening.
"I need to get back to her now," I told her unapologetically. That rope tugging insistently on me was causing my chest to ache.
Alice nodded and we took off back towards the house. She followed behind me saying nothing – but her emotions spoke loud and clear. She was trying to search the future for something that could sway me. Of course she was, she's always been quite manipulative of everyone around her. Quite simply, Alice was used to getting her way – I'm sure this was very difficult for her to accept. It didn't matter, however; she wouldn't find anything – of that I was certain.
Once we reached the house, she took off inside without a glance or word – for which I was grateful. I didn't want to deal with her anymore today.
I quickly found the others, but what I saw surprised me to say the fucking least...
Char and Rose had a huge blueprint in their hands, as they motioned wildly at it while speaking to Peter and Emmett.
"I want a jacuzzi tub, and I'm not budging on that..."
"But I'm just not sure the branch could sustain that amount of weight, Rosie," Emmett told her hesitantly.
"Are you implying I'm fat?" Rose gasped, glaring daggers at him.
"No, no...of course not! Uh..um...I just...uh," he stammered and stuttered trying to find something to appease her. "A little help here, Peter," he hissed at him. Peter was too busy to be bothered at the moment however...
"Are you saying I'm not good enough to make love to on a bed, Peter?" Char growled at him.
"No, no...of course not! I just don't think we need that big of a bed, honey...you have a small body and..."
"Are you now implying my breasts are too small?" Char gasped, glaring at him after glancing down at her breasts.
"Oh my god, no! I...I love your breasts and...uh...," he stammered and stuttered trying to find something to appease her. "A little help here, Emmett," he hissed at him.
The girls were paying them back good for their little display earlier. My gift allowed me to see exactly what was really going on, as pure mischief radiated strongly from both of the girls. They were playing with them - and I found it quite amusing.
Bella did as well as she snickered from off to the side and I tuned them out and made my way over to her. She eyed me curiously and I caught her sniffing the air to see if Alice had touched me in any way. Clever girl. She seemed appeased when she caught no direct scent of Alice coming from me.
"Everything okay?" she asked softly, unsurely.
"Everything is just fine, darlin'. She knows about the divorce," I informed her.
"And she was okay with that? Just like that?" she asked suspiciously. So intuitive.
"Not quite, but it really makes no difference," I replied, pulling her into my arms. "I'm right where I want to be now – nothing will ever change that."
"Mmm," she murmured her reply, as she snuggled herself into my embrace. This is where she belonged – in my arms, always.
"Are you okay?" I asked, tilting her head up to look at me.
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" she asked in confusion.
"I was confused why you cut our talk short earlier," I told her, getting it out there. It had been bothering me – constantly nagging in the background of my thoughts. When I kissed her, it proved she did indeed want this – us. Yet, she was fucking hesitant to be alone with me again... why?
"Oh, umm that...," she said nervously, worrying her bottom lip with her teeth - a human habit, I assume. They cut through and a couple small droplets of her venom oozed from the small nick.
I had to taste her...I simply couldn't help myself. Before she could react, I quickly bent my head and swiped the tip of my tongue across the cut, sealing it with my own venom while getting a tiny taste of her. Holy fucking shit! Her venom tastes like pure heaven. I moaned and she gasped in response.
"Did you just..." she trailed off, her gaze fixed on my tongue as I licked my own lips.
"Yes, I did," I replied, eyeing her lips and wondering if I nicked her, accidentally, with my own teeth if she would be upset. She must have sensed my desire and proceeded to pull her bottom lip between her teeth, purposefully cutting it this time. A few more drops of venom oozed from it and I didn't hesitate to once again swipe my tongue across her lips and gather her deliciousness. So much better than her blood. I've never encountered anything better than human blood before. I never even knew that was fucking possible.
My cock was drooling over her - literally - as small drops of my pre-cum oozed continuously from the head within the confines of my jeans. Bella sniffed the air and moaned. She could smell my arousal – hell any vampire in a ten mile radius would be able to at this point.
"You taste so good, darlin'," I moaned, pulling her flush against me. My cock rubbed against her stomach and she moaned louder. Oh yes, she definitely fucking wants me.
"Did you like my blood that much?" she asked at the feeling and scent of my arousal.
"Fuck yes," I admitted, worried about her reaction – I didn't want her upset with me again, I was simply telling her the truth. I came in my damn pants that day, I think that pretty much sums up how much I had enjoyed her blood. If I wasn't careful, I was about to do the very same thing right now from the taste of her venom. "But your venom is even better than your blood was," I added hastily.
"Venom?" she asked in confusion, furrowing her brows.
"Darlin'?" I questioned, confused at her reaction.
"What venom?" she asked truly confused.
"The venom that runs through your veins now...the venom that I just tasted on your lip..."
"Are you saying I don't have blood anymore?" she asked, furrowing her brows. She reached her hand up, touched her lip and inspected her finger for...blood? What the hell...
"Bella, you don't have blood...you're a vampire now," I said slowly.
"So that's why," she murmured to herself, poking at the skin on her arm experimentally.
"That's why, what?" I was beginning to worry about her. Had she really forgotten that she was a vampire?
"Uh, in the tree...I couldn't get any blood from you," she explained, taking a fingernail to her arm and slicing it open slightly. A small amount of venom seeped from it and she stared at it in awe.
"That's why you sucked after you bit me? You were seriously trying to get blood from me? Trying to feed from me?" I gasped, gaping at her in disbelief.
"I was really hungry," she stated matter-of-factly - as if that was completely normal vampire behavior.
"Yeah, I remember. It's why I guided your mouth to my neck in the first place – it was either me or that state trooper...but baby, I don't have any blood and neither do you; vampires have venom," I explained to her. "Didn't you realize that when you bit me at the Forks house?"
"I just thought I didn't go deep enough," she shrugged nonchalantly - it was obvious she felt no remorse for biting me, not that I didn't deserve it. "So, this is venom then?" she asked, wiping up a drop from over the wound that had already healed on her arm.
"Yes."
She brought her finger up to her mouth and I groaned at her intended action. She flicked her sexy little tongue out tentatively and tasted herself. So...fucking...sexy.
"It's okay," she stated, shrugging her shoulders. I wonder if she realizes that's close to how her pussy tastes now. Maybe I can convince her to let me try some right from the source to compare. For scientific purposes of course. "It doesn't taste like yours does though."
"And what does mine taste like, darlin'?" I asked her, having never been interested enough to taste my own. Especially since it would taste quite similar to my cum, and I have no interest in tasting my own cum. My cock was quite willing to offer her a taste test though – for comparison of course.
"Sweet, sort of like brown sugar or something close, with a slight bitterness to it. It's actually quite good," she replied innocently, having no clue just what she was telling me. I groaned at her admission. I'd let her bite and suck my venom from any part of my body she wanted. My cock was fine with that plan, as long as he got his turn – many times over – just minus the whole biting part. Something else entered my mind unbidden, however...why the hell didn't she know about venom in the first place?
"Baby, didn't Carlisle explain the changes to your body when you woke up?" I asked her, completely disappointed once again in Carlisle. What the fuck was up with him lately?
"No, he didn't say anything to me really...just that they would take care of me and everything would be fine. He really didn't get much of a chance though, what with Edward all up in my face and I was a wee bit...upset at the time," she replied, her eyes narrowing slightly.
"I deserved your anger and I truly am sorry I hurt you, Bella," I apologized once again.
"I'd like to say I've completely forgiven you for everything, but the truth is – I haven't," she said reluctantly, pausing for a moment while worrying that bottom lip with her teeth once again. I could tell she wanted to say something more but she was holding back.
"You can ask or tell me anything, Bella," I encouraged her. She needed to be open with me in order for us to move past all of this mess. I may have gone to high school and played the part of a teenager with the Cullens, but I was not a teenager – I was a man. I could handle anything she had to say.
She sighed heavily before finally steeling herself and piercing me with a fiery gaze. So fucking beautiful. So mine.
"You left me, Jasper," she stated, her hurt, confusion, and anger hitting me with the force and intensity of three newborns instead of just one. "I felt it, did you know that? When you left...it felt like a gaping hole cracked open in my chest – it hurt worse than the burning did, if you can even believe that. I literally felt like you ripped me open and took part of me with you," she whispered, closing her eyes and shuddering slightly. Fuck me, I really am an ass. "And then I finally woke up and you were just...gone. Edward wouldn't even tell me where you were – no one would. I just wanted to talk to you – I was so confused and...and scared...I just," she gulped in a deep breath before blowing it out slowly. "I just wanted you to explain what happened, Jasper, and you left me – you left me there like I meant nothing to you at all..."
I pulled her quickly into my arms once again and cradled her against my chest. "I'm so sorry," I breathed into the top of her head. "I should have been there – I should have been there with you; I never should have left," I apologized over and over again. I was ashamed of the fact that I had left her – my mate – to deal with that alone. I should have been there for her when she woke up, it should have been my face she saw first...even if she wanted to tear it off at the time. She had every right to be scared and confused...and fucking angry. They obviously hadn't been able to give her the answers she wanted, and that was entirely my fault.
She nodded against me and squeezed me tight. "I believe you are – I just need some time to deal with the perfect memory part. I'm not used to being able to think of so many things at once, or remembering things with perfect clarity. The way I felt when I woke up and realized you weren't there and had left me, just keeps bubbling to the surface when I remember...I don't know how to deal with it over and over again; I just get so angry," she explained in frustration, pulling back to look up at me and pleading me with her eyes to understand she needed more time. I did understand. Honestly, what she was telling me had a lot to do with simply being newborn. "I don't know how you deal with feeling everyones emotions along with your own – that must be very difficult for you," she whispered, deep concern for me etched in her voice.
"It's not always easy, that's for sure. I've learned to manage...and you will too, Bella. I promise. I will help you any way that I can," I assured her, pausing to brush the back of my hand across her cheek. "Please, darlin'...tell me you can eventually forgive me for my mistakes?" I begged her, sending her my remorse and love. I wanted to say it, wanted to tell her that I loved her already. I knew it with every ounce of my being that it was true. I decided letting her feel it would be the better way until we work through this, however. She was wary of being alone with me and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried about the reasoning behind it. I wasn't sure she was ready for verbal declarations of love – not just yet anyway.
She gasped and blinked up at me as I let my love for her radiate from every pore of my body. I placed my hands softly on her hips and gazed down into her eyes intently, waiting for her emotional response. Hoping...
I felt awe, confusion, determination...and then the glimmerings of love. I didn't care what the other emotions meant, I was so entranced by the fact that she felt any love for me at all that my whole face broke into a smile. I probably looked like some pathetic lovesick fool right now...and I didn't give two shits about it either. I was whipped – already. My cock shook his head in disbelief – apparently he was already aware of our whipped status, since he'd do just about anything to have her at this point.
She sighed and nestled her head against my chest once again. I held her to me and rested my chin on her head. She fit so perfectly against me – like two puzzle pieces made for one another. My other half.
"So where are we putting this bad boy, Major?" Peter asked, smiling widely at the sight of Bella and I together. He's truly just a softy at heart – he couldn't fucking hide that from me. Sentimental bastard. Both Rose and Char wore sappy smiles as well as they sighed dreamily. Emmett pretended to wipe a tear from his eye – though he couldn't fool me either...his eyes were slightly glassy with venom. If he could have shed a tear, he would have. I knew they were all just glad to see me smiling for once...I'll admit it's been a very long fucking time – but damn it feels good. Their support of us, made me smile even wider as I gazed down into the beautiful ruby eyes of my mate. I was truly happy for the first time in my existence. Because of her.
"Baby, what do you think about putting it near our waterfall?" I asked her, watching her face light up at the idea. I would give her anything in this world if I could see her face light up that way every day. My cock decided to add that it would also get us in her pants. I'll admit, I thought of that too, I just didn't want to say it and sound like an even bigger ass.
"First they claim the trees, now they want the waterfalls," Emmett snickered.
Bella ignored him. "I like that idea," she replied, smiling beautifully. So breathtaking.
"Waterfall it is then – let's get this stuff moved and get working on it," I ordered them, moving out of Bella's embrace reluctantly so that we could help carry the supplies...
But was stopped by Bella's hand on my arm. I arched an eyebrow and looked at her questioningly.
"Umm, can we stay here for a minute?" she asked, her embarrassment rising with every word.
"What's wrong, darlin'?" I asked her, concerned. Did she not want to live with us after all? The thought was like a dagger to my un-beating heart. If the tree house was the reason, well then we would find another option...
"Nothings wrong, I just...I still owe you an explanation about why I cut our talk short earlier," she paused, taking a deep unnecessary breath – another human habit – before adding, "I want to explain."
I was glad she added that, because she didn't owe me shit as far as I was concerned. If she wasn't ready to talk about what was bothering her earlier, I would have given her all the time she needed until she was. I can be patient – sometimes. Okay...for her, I could be patient. She was worth it.
The others were waiting for us to lead them there but I told them to go on without us and we'd be there shortly. Rose mouthed "Tell him" to Bella before leaving, causing her to roll her eyes at her in exasperation.
Once they were out of hearing range, she shook her head. "Subtlety is so not their thing," she chuckled. The sound was like music to my cock. He wanted to dance to the sound, preferably the horizontal tango.
"Definitely not. They mean well though," I replied with a throaty chuckle of my own. She gazed up at me in some sort of daze. Lust, I realized.
"I know they do. They are pretty great, you're very lucky to have them for friends...I mean family," she said. Was she stalling...why?
"You are lucky as well, they are your family now, too," I reminded her. "But I don't think that's what you wanted to talk about, is it?" I questioned, prodding her to tell me. I wasn't trying to push her...okay, so maybe I was. My fucking curiosity was getting the best of me. What can I say? I did admit that I'm an ass, many times over.
"No, it's not," she said sheepishly as she started pacing in front of me. I wanted to reach out and stop her, but I didn't do it. She needed to tell me on her own – without any interference from me. Whatever was bothering her, was important obviously, and I needed her to offer it willingly.
"I'm afraid to be alone with you," she whispered in defeat.
Fuck! She's afraid of me? But she said she wasn't and...I've not felt any fear from her – simply embarrassment. I'm confused as fuck right now...what does that mean?
"You're scared of me?" I gasped, looking for clarification.
"What? No! No, I'm not scared of you...I'm scared of me," she replied. Huh? Still confused as fuck over here, darlin'...
"I'm not explaining this very well, am I?" she cringed, taking in my obvious 'confused as fuck' face.
I scratched the back of my neck in a surprisingly human-like gesture – she was obviously rubbing off on me. "Not a clue, darlin'...sorry."
"Right," she nodded in contemplation. "Okay, uh...remember when I told you I never...felt that before the tree?" she asked, wincing at her words.
I thought about it...
"The fact that you'd never had an orgasm before then you mean?" I asked, once again looking for clarification.
"Yeah, that. Uh, that's not all I've never done before," she said quickly, holding her breath while she waited for me to respond.
"I know," I replied simply. I know she's a virgin...is that what this is about?
"You do?" she gasped in horror.
"Bella, is this about you being a virgin?" I asked her softly.
She looked up at me in defeat and sighed. "Yeah, pretty pathetic I know. I'm really sorry, Jasper, you deserve someone who knows what they are doing and...I...well I don't...and..."
"Bella, stop." I had to cut her off right fucking there before I yelled at her. I was already very fucking close to doing that very thing. What the hell?
She did and I closed my eyes to gain some composure before I said anything more. Did she seriously think I'd want someone with more experience? When I can have her...a virgin...for eternity? Seriously? Perhaps her orgasm deprivation was going to her head. I'd have to remedy that – soon.
"Bella, I can't believe you think I'd want someone else. I know you are a virgin and quite frankly, I'm very fucking happy about that fact," I told her truthfully. Just the thought of anyone else touching her that way made my vision haze with anger.
"But I don't even know what to do or how to please you," she argued adamantly.
"That's okay, you'll learn..."
"But what if...I don't know...what if I break it cause I don't know what I'm doing?" she interjected, all flustered. My cock was so not liking this train of thought – not one fucking bit; 'break' was not a word he ever wanted to hear out of her mouth again. He gazed at her warily...accessing her now as a possible threat to his well being.
"Bella, everyone is a virgin at some point. It's not a big deal and darlin', the thought of teaching you things...," I trailed off as my cock pushed insistently at my zipper caging him in. "Fuck," I groaned, reaching down to adjust myself. He obviously has deemed her a low threat risk after all... or maybe he's just willing to risk it at this point, I wasn't sure.
Bella was silent...silent and staring at my crotch as I attempted to adjust myself into a more comfortable position. My cock swelled further under her stare, pushing and twitching in an attempt to gain her attention. It was like he was stranded on an island and she was the rescue plane.
"Bella..."
"Huh?" she asked, still staring at my twitching cock. Fucker just wouldn't stop now that he had her undivided attention. Attention whore that he is.
"I want to make love to you," I whispered. That got her attention and her eyes immediately snapped up to mine.
"Now?" she asked incredulously, taking a glance around at our surroundings. I chuckled, I couldn't help it. She's so damn innocent.
"No...well, technically yes...but no, not here," I told her, pulling her into my arms. "But when we do, I want to make love to you. It won't just be sex, darlin'...it will be us and it will be special and beautiful because it's us... and I promise to be very gentle with you," I attempted to assure her. And I would, the first time anyway. After that...I make no promises on my self control.
She blinked up at me and sighed softly. "I know you will, I'm just worried I won't satisfy you."
"Baby, just holding you satisfies me, because..." I paused, I had to tell her. I simply couldn't hold in the words. I told her I want to make love to her...surely she already realizes, right? Was I about to make a mistake? Possibly...but I was inclined to agree with my cock, she was worth the risk. He didn't think it was quite the same thing as risking injury - but whatever.
"Because I love you, Bella. I'm in love with you," I breathed, brushing my lips lightly across the smooth skin on forehead. She closed her eyes and leaned into me.
"I don't understand it, but... I feel myself falling so fast, Jasper," she replied honestly, and with confusion. I knew this probably all seems very quick to her. Vampire relationships don't follow the same time-line as human relationships do. There is simply no need for it. Once you've found your mate, it's a done deal. "But, I need just a little more time to deal with everything. I'll understand if you don't want to wait," she added, though jealousy, hurt, and anger radiated strongly from her at the mere thought.
Time... my cock was so not happy with that word. He had researched, he was ready – unfortunately, she was not.
"As long as you need. When you are ready, and only then," I assured her, albeit very fucking reluctantly. What the hell was I going to do until she was ready? Jacking off wasn't an option anymore – my god, I'm so fucking screwed. Things were looking so promising there for a bit, too. What the fuck happened? My cock glared at me as he placed his position list inside the Kama Sutra book and slammed it shut. Yeah, yeah...I have to agree this time. I wonder if I begged her...no, I can't do that – I have to be understanding about this. Fuck me, I don't want to be understanding.
She smiled sweetly up at me and it almost made it worth it...almost. Okay, it did...because I love her. But, fuck, this is going to be hell waiting to claim her as mine.
She pressed her lips to mine and all negative thoughts flew out the fucking window as I greedily took what I could get. I was like a starving man and she was my scrap of bread. That was a horrible analogy, now all I could think about was what she tasted like earlier...and the oh so many ways I could taste her again...
Little licks, small nibbles, long licks, small flicks of my tongue, sucking...Fuck!
"Thank you," she whispered against my lips.
Yes, she was worth an eternity of waiting. My cock may be sulking, but even he knew it too.
Now all we could hope for was that it didn't literally take an eternity - I think my cock whimpered at the mere thought, or maybe that was actually me...
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AN:
So, much more progress between our lovebirds, yes? They talked quite a bit in this chapter - though there is still at least one thing they need to discuss. Sexy times are coming peeps - hang in there! If Jasper's cock can do it, then so can you! =P
I'm sorry this update took so long! It's the longest chapter so far, however, and there was a lot covered in it. I considered shortening it, but then it would have dissected their conversation - and I didn't want to do that to yas after you've been so patient with me!
I hope you liked it! Let me know if you did - and even if you didn't. If you review, I'll send you a small teaser from the next chapter!
*Please be sure to sign in before reviewing if you want the teaser - I can't send it to you if you don't!*
