Warnings: AU. KagaKise, AoKise. Slight angst.
Waking up in the morning and immediately realising he fell asleep before calling or texting Kise is definitely not the way Kagami wanted to start his day. But when he suddenly jolts awake, hearing his phone fall to the floor a split second later, he realises he's done just that.
Great, just great.
Trying to stop panicking, he hops into the shower, grabs some breakfast and dashes out. If he's early, he can catch Kise before class and explain everything, and hope that the blond will understand.
(He has to, right? Otherwise Kagami might break.)
"Now you want to talk? I waited all day yesterday but nothing came." Kise turns his head away, his expression as unfeeling as his voice.
"I'm sorry, I fell asleep…" Kagami scratches the back of his head in embarrassment. "I didn't check my phone until evening and I was so tired that I just fell asleep while thinking of how to reply. I mean, I don't really have an explanation… I didn't plan to do that or anything, it just happened."
Kise finally looks at him. Kagami's cheeks go red. "I'm really sorry…"
There's a short pause before Kise sighs. "…it's fine."
"No it's not! I shouldn't have just run away like that, and I'm sorry about that! And I guess I should be sorry about kissing you as well but... but I'm not…" Kagami trails off, his face catching fire. Oh fuck, now he said it. This means he can bid his friendship with Aomine farewell, right?
"…you're not?" Kise stares at him intensively, his expression completely different from before. Kagami's heart starts beating faster.
To confess or not to confess, that is the question. Choosing the former would get a weight off Kagami's chest and explain his behaviour to Kise, whereas choosing the latter would mean being loyal to Aomine and their agreement and save Kagami the prospect of heartbreak.
Decisions, decisions.
"Umm… Kagamicchi…" Fuck, Kise's voice quivers as he suddenly leans closer. Kagami swallows, his chest feeling too tight for his heart. Oh god, could this be it?
Could this be what? Kise rejecting him by telling him he likes someone else? What if Kise likes Aomine? What if he still likes that senpai he used to date? There is absolutely nothing that supports Kise liking Kagami, right? So why is he suddenly so full of hope?
"You know, I think I–"
"Good morning, class. Time to get started."
They both jump at the sound of the teacher's voice. Kise hastily turns to face forwards, his cheeks still flushed, as Kagami tries to will himself to breathe again.
What the fuck, seriously? Was Kise actually going to confess to him, or did he just completely misunderstand? But if he didn't… doesn't that mean his feelings are reciprocated after all?
Where would that leave Aomine though?
Aomine might not be the brightest when it comes to other people's feelings but he can see when Kagami is bothered as the redhead is quite obvious in showing his moods. And right now there's definitely something on his mind. Wait, didn't he say he wanted to talk on the night Satsuki stayed over? Even though he said it could wait, it might've been important. In fact, it might still be important.
So being the good friend he is, Aomine of course needs to talk to Kagami to make sure there's nothing wrong with him. So when he spots the redhead on his way to class, he seizes the chance.
"Hey, you wanna talk?"
Kagami blinks, trying to think of what Aomine might be referring to. Oh right, he should probably tell Aomine about the kiss and everything. And although he should've done that already, better late than never, isn't that what they say?
But how to start?
"I, uhh, talked with Kise the other night, when I was babysitting the twins. And he told me… he used to date a guy." Is it even okay for him to tell Aomine this? Well, too late now. He'll just have to tell Kise afterwards and apologise. "And then he kinda had a breakdown and, umm… oh man…"
Aomine frowns. "What?"
"Don't get mad, okay?" Kagami's the worst friend ever, isn't he? "I kinda panicked myself when he started crying so I… I kissed him but… but I don't really know why I did that."
The following silence makes Kagami feel nauseous. He doesn't dare to look at Aomine, doesn't want to see what kind of face he's making.
"…what did he say?"
"Huh? Oh, uh, he was really surprised but he didn't really mind, I mean…" Kagami stumbles over the words, only succeeding in making the situation worse for himself. He's not sure how he's ever going to survive this conversation.
"…so what, you asked him to be your boyfriend and he said yes?" Though he tries to hide it, Aomine's voice is laced with hurt and Kagami flinches.
"No, I, uh, ran away and… look, if he likes me…" If Kise likes Kagami and confesses first… he can say yes, right? They only agreed to not confess to Kise, nothing was ever said about rejecting Kise in case he confessed first. Which, admittedly, was only because neither of them thought it possible Kise would ever like either of them.
"If he likes you and you like him, it's a happy ending for you," Aomine says bitterly and Kagami has never wanted to punch himself more. He's supposed to be best friends with Aomine, right? If that was true, he'd never do something to make the guy feel this bad. "I wouldn't want to get in your way."
"But… I don't want him to come between us…"
"But you wouldn't reject him if he confessed to you, right?" Aomine interrupts loudly and his tone fucking hurts. There's a lump in Kagami's throat and he can't speak.
"Whatever, good luck then asshole." Aomine pushes past him, bumping his shoulder painfully into Kagami's. Last chance to try and fix it.
"…!" Try as he may, Kagami can't prevent himself from crying anymore. Instead of going after Aomine, he buries his face into his hands and lets the tears come.
He's the worst.
Kise's last conversation with senpai goes something like this.
"I had no idea the injury was that bad…I guess we can't play basketball again after all…" Kise forces out a laugh.
Senpai stays quiet and the silence is unnerving. They used to talk all the time before, didn't they? What did they talk about? Why was it always so easy before? Why can't Kise even get his mouth open now?
"Senpai, do you still like me?" If senpai says no, it's the end, right? All this time he's wanted to believe they'll be fine but he's finally started to realise that his hope has been in vain. He's stupid. He's so stupid.
Senpai turns to him with a wry smile and tears in his eyes. "Do I still like you? Does that even fucking matter?!"
"…eh?" Of course it matters, they're dating after all. But Kise can't speak. "Senpai – "
"Shut up! You have no idea how I feel! Just… shut up and leave! They were your friends anyway!"
Kise's heart shatters, he shatters, but he still swallows his tears and smiles. He's a model, he'll never show the real him to anyone.
(Except he's already decided to quit modelling, it would be fine if he showed weakness in front of senpai, if he showed how fucking scared he is too, how he can't handle this either, how badly he wants to go to back to the way things were – )
"Right… I'll be going then." But all he does is get up and leave.
Just because they can't play basketball together anymore doesn't mean that they can't be together at all, right? So why… why can't they fix this? Why does Kise have to be so scared of going to see senpai after that? What if it could still be fixed after all? Why –
(why can't he like girls?)
He's the biggest idiot there ever was.
In the afternoon Kise finds Kagami again. Feeling that their conversation was cut off in the morning, he approaches the redhead and gets a rather apathetic greeting. Kise tilts his head.
"You don't look so good, Kagamicchi. Did something happen?" Kagami shakes his head. Kise's smile is as radiant as ever but right now it only manages to make Kagami feel worse.
"I just… had a fight with Aomine, that's all." He scratches the back of his head, avoiding Kise's gaze. The blond frowns.
"Oh? Shouldn't you be trying to make up now then rather than chatting here with me?"
"Nah it's fine, I'll talk to him later. And I wanted to talk to you anyway."
Kise scrutinises Kagami, his lips tightening with worry. "Hey… have you been crying?"
Damn. Kise is way too perceptive. "N-never mind that. I just wanted to ask… what were you going to say to me in the morning?" Kagami is proud to notice he doesn't stutter at all even though his heart beats against his chest painfully hard and his mouth is dry.
"Uhh…" Kise's cheeks go red and his gaze starts darting around nervously. Kagami steps closer, Kise might attempt to run away and he won't allow that; he wants answers. And Kise's reaction so far is somewhat encouraging, right?
"Well?" His tone sounds a lot braver than he feels. And finally Kise caves.
"I'm sorry…!" His voice cracks. It's an ugly sound, he can't stand it, why does he always have to seem so weak and useless? He's made it through so much. He's strong. He can handle this. He will handle this. "I'm sorry, Kagamicchi…!"
Sorry? Does that mean…? If he's wrong, if Kise doesn't like him after all – no, he just wants to make sure, that's all. He won't cry no matter what the outcome is.
"Kise." Breathe, damn it. Keep breathing. "I think I'm in love with you."
You're making a mistake, Kagamicchi… but so is Kise himself since he can't help but return the sentiment. He raises his head, meeting Kagami's gaze head on, and makes a decision.
"Kagamicchi… please go out with me." Takao's always told him he's not the one to blame for what happened with senpai so he deserves to have a chance to be happy, right?
He wants to be happy, really that's all he wants. And being hugged by Kagami, feeling his heart beat erratically against Kise's chest as he mumbles a hushed 'yes' into the blond's ear, definitely makes him happy. It's fine, right? He deserves it.
…right?
"Don't cry, Kise…" Truthfully Kagami is the one who wants to cry. Is it alright to feel happy when Kise kisses him and holds him close with trembling arms?
If getting Kise means losing Aomine, does he really want it?
A/N: this turn of events will obviously cause some serious drama in the future (gomen but I'm a sucker for angst and drama) ;o; and I hope to be able to include the twins next time because I love writing them ;u;
viv-heart: yeah, I was actually thinking that the senpai is Kasamatsu but I decided to leave him unnamed so everyone's free to make their own interpretations :')
Thanks for all the support as always! ;3; you guys are great.
