Chapter 11 - Road to Onett
The hotel room went quiet at around 11 PM, after the two boys had packed up and double checked their readiness for tomorrow's ride. Ness fell into a deep sleep mere minutes after lying down and closing his eyes.
For his usually outgoing, brash personality, Ness was a surprisingly calm sleeper; he lied on his back, the only sign of life was his slowly rising and falling chest. To an observer, he looked especially peaceful at the moment.
He was a heavy sleeper too, since he hardly reacted at all to the hand that delicately slid the pillow out from underneath his head, then caressed the side of his face and toyed with the hair above his ear. A thumb slowly traced the outside line on his lips, making him involuntarily purse his mouth, turning his head away from the foreign touch.
A finger poked his forehead. Ness' eyebrows furrowed as he let out a soft whimper.
"Nnnnh, go away," he mumbled indistinctly. The finger tapped his forehead again, but with a little more force this time. Ness cracked open a bleary eye.
Only to see a hooded face looming a foot over his own, flashing him an eerily toothy grin. Bright eyes gleamed in the dark, watching him like a hawk.
Ness almost let out a terrified scream, before he was hastily muffled with a pillow pressed snugly to his face and a heavy body straddled his legs. He thrashed around, pulling at the pillow in a frantic attempt to get free, but whoever was pressing it had an unearthly strong grip. Ness could feel his chest tightening up, his lungs were burning for air. His writhing weakened as he felt his consciousness fade away slowly, before the death hold on his body suddenly disappeared. Ness bolted upright, taking in a sharp gasp of air. His eyes darted about the room, which was vacant save for the dark silhouette of Lucas, who was still asleep with his back turned to him, oblivious to what had just happened. Ness' heart was hammering out of control, adding to the burning in his chest and the shrill ringing in his ears. It took him a minute to realize he was crying, tears momentarily blurred his vision. He hid his face in the crook of his elbow so the sound of him sniffling wouldn't wake up his roommate. It couldn't have been a dream; he uncomfortably swallowed the metallic taste in his mouth, having cut the inside of his lip on his teeth during his struggle under the pillow. An evidence his ordeal wasn't a jarringly realistic nightmare. Ness clenched his teeth, feeling the world around him flip in confused somersaults. Why he couldn't have done something like punch whoever attacked him, or anything better than tugging at the pillow helplessly?
Those eyes. Whoever tried to choke him had those big, almost glowing eyes. The way they stared at him burned in his mind and sent shivers down his spine. He grunted, feeling his head throb painfully. No way he could go back to sleep now.
Ness remained curled on himself, propping his back on the headboard until sunlight began filtering through the blinds.
When Lucas woke up, he found Ness fully dressed and sitting cross-legged on his bed, albeit looking visibly tired and dispirited.
"Morning," Lucas muttered, rubbing sleep away from his eye and brushing his dishevelled hair out from his face. Ness slowly lifted his head and glanced at Lucas before nodding back. Lucas took note of the dark circles under Ness' eyes. It seemed he had little sleep last night, which made his face look like Lucas' own after a nightmarish night.
"Good morning," Ness replied in a monotone as he stood up on his feet. Lucas arched an eyebrow at the lukewarm reply, but chose not to comment. He got up, gathered his everyday clothes in an arm and dragged his feet towards the bathroom, noting the hidden tension in Ness' stance when he walked by him, as if something invisible was about to lunge at Ness' neck any moment. Lucas stopped, studying Ness intently.
"Are you okay?" Lucas asked, making Ness flinch a little.
"I'm alright," Ness replied, forcing himself to relax. Lucas scratched the side of his head as he turned to the bathroom and closed the door behind him. Minutes later, he emerged, now more presentable. Ness was sitting on the edge of his bed, propping his elbow on his thigh and staring into the distance. Lucas thought Ness looked exactly like Claus when he was in one of his off moods. He slapped a palm to his face at the thought.
Guess I won't stop thinking of him as a surrogate Claus, right? Lucas thought wryly to himself. Ness' similarity to his twin was at the forefront of his mind throughout yesterday and the day before, and it was possibly the reason why he told Ness about his mind powers last night. Lucas used to share all of his secrets with Claus, so it was particularly satisfying to tell Ness that one big secret that had made his life hell so far.
'You aren't doing yourself any favors with that hair, kid', Duster's words echoed in his mind. Perhaps he had been indeed dwelling too much on his brother's memory lately, or at least since he met Ness. His thoughts were soon derailed by the sound of an obnoxious knocking on the door.
"Open up, you two. You better be ready," Mr. Pirkle's annoyed voice reached his ears from the other side. It seemed the teacher was still cross with them over yesterday's bus thing.
"Come on, we should leave," Lucas said, motioning for Ness to get up.
Ness' weird behavior stuck around when they boarded the bus. This time around, Ness asked for the window seat, saying he had little sleep last night. When Lucas asked him about the 'plans' he had, he waved him off with a half-hearted 'later', then fell asleep the second he leaned his head on the glass. Lucas stared holes in his lap when Pokey climbed into the bus and assumed his seat right behind him. A brief moment later, Poo came up and walked to his assigned row. He crossed his arms at Pokey's seated form.
"Get up or move aside," he curtly told Pokey, who lifted his nose in the air.
"You ain't the boss of me," he replied, shooting Poo a challenging glare. Poo sighed in irritation.
"Get up, or move aside," he repeated, slowly this time, levelling a dangerous glare towards the Minch boy. Lucas watched on with mild interest, secretly hoping that Poo gives that fat fuck another black eye.
"What, do you think you'll—" Pokey started, before he was summarily shoved into the windows seat with a rude foot from Poo, who took the now vacant seat. Pokey yelped in surprise and dusted his abused side, before glowering at Poo.
"Goddamn chink," Pokey spat, venom dripping from his voice.
"Up yours, fatass," Poo shot back with equal venom, causing Lucas to raise his eyebrows, feeling his admiration of the Chommo kid increase tenfold. He glanced back at Poo, giving him an amused grin, much to Pokey's anger.
"Wipe that fucking smirk off your face, or I'll wipe it for ya," Pokey growled at Lucas, who turned around, smirk still in its place. He soon dropped the smirk when he realized he could hear everyone's thoughts despite Ness sitting right next to him. He glanced over to Ness to find him in deep sleep, his head turned upwards and his mouth hanging open slightly. It seemed the mental block in Ness' mind was only there when Ness was awake. With nothing to 'ground' his mind powers as he came to call it, Lucas heaved a sigh, resigning himself to eavesdropping on everyone's thoughts unwillingly. Poo's thoughts were in his native language, with the occasional 'damn fatass' angrily buzzing through. The thoughts of a the aforementioned fat kid were especially worrying.
'So God help me, I'll have that cat-eating gook's head on a platter,' he heard Pokey think through the cacophonous noise of thoughts. Pokey proceeded to call Poo and by extension, the Dalaamian people every name under the sun, before his thoughts shifted to Lucas.
'And then we have that ginger bugger over here. I'm so going to make this filthy Islander eat my shit by the time we reach Onett.'
The thought was followed by a vivid image of Lucas kneeling down on all fours to…
"Eugh," Lucas cringed in disgust, trying his hardest not to gag. He looked at Ness, who was oblivious to the world around him. How did he really get used to Ness' convenient mental silence that quickly?
"Please wake up," Lucas begged under his breath, the noisy thoughts flooding his brain nearly driving him insane.
Halfway through the Dusty Dunes Desert, Lucas noticed something off about Ness. He slept with his arms crossed, his right hand tightly gripping his left bicep. His face was troubled, alternating between relaxing and furrowing his eyebrows. Ness' breath was irregular, coming from his nose as his mouth pulled back into a snarl. Ness' fingernails dug painfully into his other arm, drawing blood as they dragged against the skin. Lucas decided to shake Ness awake, placing his hand on Ness' shoulders.
He could see glimpses of Ness' nightmare. Through Ness' vision, he saw a pair of big eyes gazing back at him with ill intent. Those eyes looked vaguely familiar to Lucas, but he ignored it and roughly jerked Ness awake, causing the latter to jump in his seat. Ness stared at Lucas with wide eyes.
"What the fuck?" Ness exclaimed angrily, glaring at Lucas.
"You were shredding yourself to ribbons in your sleep," Lucas said in a level tone. Ness gave him a confused stare before he hissed in pain.
"Ow," he grunted, glancing at his injured arm. His eyes widened at the sight of his injury. He twisted his arm to get a better view of the bruises and welts, "Wuh… How did that happen?"
Lucas shrugged, about to ask him about the nightmare before the passengers heard a loud popping sound as the bus sharply jolted then lurched to a halt.
"What the fuck!" Ness yelled again, bracing for support. The students chattered with confused murmurs and exclamations, before the bus driver hopped out, rounding the bus to examine the tires. He came back up and said something about a nail piercing one of the tires.
"Oh no, we're stuck here," a twitchy-looking kid at the front cried out. Mr. Pirkle spoke briefly to the driver before he got up to address the students.
"Everyone, calm down," he said, raising his voice over the students' chatter. They shut up and listened to the man, who wiped his forehead with a handkerchief.
"We've got a busted tire," he began, "Luckily, there is a gas station a few hundred yards away. We need someone to go there and get a repairman to bring a replacement.
"Don't we have a spare tire?" Ness asked. Mr. Pirkle shook his head as no.
"No, we don't," Mr. Pirkle said, then his eyes surveyed the kids, "Now who's gonna be the great kid who'll take one for the team and go to the gas station?"
Everyone averted their eyes from the teacher, obviously more content with sitting in the air-conditioned bus instead of wading through the blistering heat outside. Lucas made the fatal mistake of looking the teacher in the eye.
"Ah, Lucas," Mr. Pirkle exclaimed, flashing him a simper, "You sure like straying away from groups. Why don't you go to the gas station?"
"Me?" Lucas said, pointing to himself, "Why!"
"Come on, Lucas," some random kid said, eliciting few 'Yeah's and cheers.
"Lu-cas! Lu-cas! Lu-cas!' the kids cheered, clapping their hands, much to Lucas' embarrassment. He didn't need mind-reading powers to know they were happy to have him scapegoated for the job instead of them. He stood up, quietly muttering something about everyone onboard being lazy sons of bitches. Ness stood up as well.
"I think I'll tag along as well," he said casually, following Lucas to the bus door. When they got out of the bus, they were blasted in the face with a gust of torrid air. Lucas felt the inside of his nose dry up instantly, the sun above him had the effect of a sledgehammer coming down on the top of his head.
"Are you sure you want to go?" Lucas asked Ness, "You can stay back if you want."
Ness only shrugged, silently leading the way. Lucas blinked, squinting in the glaring sunlight. He followed Ness, who didn't seem too bothered by the heat. The walk to the gas station seemed to be much longer than 'a few hundred yards', as put by Mr. Pirkle. This must be the bald teacher's way of getting back at him for ditching the buses back at Fourside. He looked at a clearing on the side of the road, where three identically-dressed, mustached men stood, each one wearing sombreros that covered their heads and had square signs surrounding their bodies, each side held a different symbol reminiscent of casino slot machines. Lucas paused to gawk at them. One of them lifted his head to look at the two passersby. His beady eyes widened under his wide hat.
"Ay, yo he escuchado de este chico! He visto la noticias de el por donde quiera," he remarked, adjusting the wide sombrero on his head with a hand.
"Si. Es famoso," the second one commented with a bored tone.
"Crees que va a jugar nuestro juego?" the third guy said with a thicker accent, earning a shrug from the first one.
"Quien sabe," replied the first. Lucas wasn't sure why were they standing with weird costumes under the blazing heat. There was a broken slot machine in front of them with a note identifying the trio as the 'Sanchez Brothers', who would pose as the slot machine for one dollar. Lucas did a double take at that. Not the best idea for a business, especially if it entailed standing in the middle of nowhere with little to shield themselves from the sun.
"Why are you guys standing in the sun? You could find a shaded spot or something, right?" Lucas asked. They looked at each other in sudden realization, as if the idea never crossed their minds. The one in the middle took off the sign and chucked it to the ground.
"A la chingada con esto," he grumbled, "Vamonos," The other two mumbled to themselves, mimicking his gesture and throwing away their getup. Lucas watched them leave, utterly confused. Ness watched all of this with absolute apathy. Normally, he would've made a ton of witty remarks by now. Lucas turned to face him.
"Are you sure you're alright?" Lucas asked. Ness rolled his eyes.
"I'm fine," he snapped, stomping by Lucas.
'I'm fine!'
'What's wrong, Claus?'
'Nothing', Claus said with a pout, crossing his arms and facing away.
'You're sulking. Did you get into a fight with Fuel again?'
Claus glared.
'Where's mom?' he asked.
'At Caroline's bakery. Why— Hey, wait for me!'
Lucas lifted his head up to see Ness already ahead, his head bowed down in a sulking posture. Lucas remembered Claus used to run for their mom whenever he was upset. In a way, Claus was more of a mama's boy than Lucas himself. An idea formed in Lucas' head, who ran up to Ness, placing a hand on his shoulder.
"Hey," he started, "I think there's a payphone at the gas station."
Ness furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, "So?"
"I think you should call your mom and tell her we'll be late," Lucas said, shrugging, "I guess the tire thing will take an hour at least."
Ness seemed contemplative for a while before nodding, "Okay."
They remained silent until they reached the gas station. Lucas pointed to a row of three pay phones at the far side of the station.
"There's a payphone over there," Lucas said, "I'll talk to the mechanic guy, okay?"
They parted ways, Ness going for the pay phones as Lucas went to the small building that had a sign reading 'Auto Repair' behind the gas pumps. He quickly explained the bus situation to a greasy-armed mechanic who sat there, wearing sooty coveralls that used to be navy blue. The car technician agreed to fix the bus, but on the condition he'd get paid extra for leaving the station. Lucas would've called Mr. Pirkle, but he didn't have the teacher's number nor there was any cellphone coverage in this area. He agreed anyway, and the man asked for the bus model and size, before telling Lucas to wait while he gathered his tools. Lucas got out of the workshop and went to an adjacent convenience store, where he bought a bottle of water and a package of band-aids, then he strolled to the pay phones, where Ness was talking to his mother.
"Yes, mom," Lucas heard Ness say cheerfully, "I love you, too. Say hi to Tracy and King for me. Bye."
Ness hung up then turned around, already in much higher spirits. He was smiling for a change.
"I really needed that call," Ness told Lucas, "Thanks, man."
Lucas only slightly smiled back, pleased his little idea actually worked. They went back to the Auto shop, where the mechanic stuffed a toolbox and a large tire in the back of a ratty-looking pickup truck and motioned for the two boys to hop in. Ness sat at the window while Lucas was uncomfortably wedged in the small space between the driver and Ness, wondering why didn't this truck come with back seats. The ride back to the bus was unsurprisingly fast, yet equally as stifling, since the pickup truck was too dilapidated to have a functioning AC, and it reeked of body odor and dirty fabric. The truck came to a stop behind the stranded bus. The mechanic got out to inspect the tire, letting out an incredulous whistle when he saw it.
"Man, it's totally shredded!" he said, "I'll replace it, but it's better to come to the gas station and check on the rest of the tires. They all look in bad shape."
Ness and Lucas hopped out of the vehicle and climbed back into the bus, wondering why neither the bus driver nor the teacher bothered to get out for the mechanic.
They found out why when they saw the two men barely restraining an enraged Poo from murdering Pokey, who cowered in the back of the bus, defensively holding his arms in front of him while his meaty rear was wedged between two uncomfortable-looking boys. Ness sighed, slapping a palm to his face.
"Dammit. Should've seen this coming," Ness hissed, walking towards Poo, placing a hand on the Dalaamian's arm.
"Come on, Poo," Ness said in a placating tone, "It's not worth it."
"Y-y-yeah," Pokey nodded fervently, eliciting a 'Shut-the-hell-up' glare from Ness, who placed himself in the space between Poo and Pokey. Poo seemed to marginally calm down.
"Mr. Pirkle, the mechanic's here, can you please go see him?" Ness politely said. Mr. Pirkle seemed satisfied with Poo not trying to lunge at Pokey's neck anymore. He turned around and waddled to the bus exit, apparently trusting Ness with keeping the peace. The bus driver hesitantly followed outside. Lucas watched with awe how Ness quickly pacified Poo and told Pokey off. He even made the two reconcile by shaking hands. Pokey winced in pain as he shook Poo's hand, which was crushing his hand with an overly firm handshake. They took their seats, then Ness assumed his seat next to Lucas.
"Lucas, is it okay if I switched seats with Poo for the rest of the ride?" Ness said.
"Why?"
Ness rolled his eyes.
"Because I'm sure Poo will kill Pokey with his bare hands if they sit next to each other much longer, and I know you hate Pokey's guts."
"Everybody hates Pokey's guts."
"Well, I think I can live with sitting next to him."
Lucas thought that Ness was too much of a pacifist. He did want Poo to rough up Pokey, but he could see the logic behind Ness' words. The look in Poo's eyes was murderous.
"Sure," he shrugged, "But first, you need to take care of your arm."
He fished out the water and band-aid pack from a plastic bag he held. He took Ness' arm and quickly dabbed a wet tissue on the wound, then applied an adhesive bandage, ensuring the white pad is aligned. He let go of the arm, scrutinizing his work. At least the band aid was big enough to cover the injury.
"Sorry I don't have anything better to clean it up with, though," Lucas said, lifting his eyes to Ness' own.
"No problem. Thanks, man," he said, his mouth quirked into a smile. Lucas nodded, standing up for Ness to get up and tell Poo they're switching places. Poo agreed quickly, while Pokey flipped him off when he wasn't looking. Ness glared at Pokey, who grumbled and retracted his middle finger. Poo looked startlingly tranquil for someone who nearly blew a gasket a few minutes ago. Lucas thanked his lucky stars the Dalaamian wasn't a chatty person, a trait Lucas was absolutely fine with. He could tell he would get along with Poo just fine, while Ness resigned himself to listening to Pokey's whining speech about 'those damn immigrants' and how much they 'jeopardize true Eaglelander values'. Lucas chose to distract himself with watching Mr. Pirkle and the bus driver squabble with the mechanic over the exorbitant charge he's asking for.
Ness asked he gets dropped off at Paula's house when they reached Twoson, but Mr. Pirkle vehemently declined, stating that he had to see every boy dropped off to his respective bus stop in Onett. "You'll live an extra half an hour," he told him. By the time the bus merged into the road that led to Onett, Ness looked too antsy to jump off the bus. Pokey was oblivious to Ness' irritation, even happily inviting himself over, to which Ness replied back with a definite 'Hell no!'
Lucas almost felt bad for Ness. Almost. 'I can live with sitting next to him', he said. Well, so it seemed. The bus dropped off Ness, Pokey and Lucas at the bus stop serving the northern part of Onett. A fancy-looking car was parked near the bus stop, the driver exited and opened the door for Pokey to pompously carry himself there, then he aimed a sneer to Lucas.
"Ness, ditch that stupid kid and come with me," he said. Ness scratched the back of his head.
"Uh, I'd rather walk. I can't feel my legs after such a long ride," Ness said, wiggling his foot for good measure. A petulant pout drew across Pokey's face.
"But Ness—" he whined.
"Maybe later, Pokey," Ness said calmly with an air of finality. Pokey's pout didn't budge, but he knew Ness won't agree this time. He turned around and stuffed himself in the car, grumbling something to himself. The car sped off towards the hill where the Minch home was located. Ness let out a heavy sigh when the car disappeared from view.
"Ugh, why me," he grumbled, Lucas chuckled.
"I don't know, but Pokey does seem awfully possessive of you," he commented. Ness tiredly rubbed the area between his eyebrows.
"That's because I was his only friend back when we were kids," he commented, "Pokey used to be a the sweetest kid, believe it or not."
Lucas' eyes widened, "You're shitting me."
"I shit you not," Ness replied, laughing, "No, really, he was a really good kid back then, kinda like his little brother, Picky."
"Picky," Lucas repeated in a monotone. Ness shrugged.
"Their mom named them, ask her," he said, before rubbing his chin thoughtfully, "I don't know what made Pokey grow out to be like… that, but I blame his weird parents, and his choice of friends."
"Yeah," Lucas grumbled, remembering the trio of jackasses that accompanied him back at the McKinley's house.
"He's close friends with Frank Fly. That's the Sharks leader, in case you didn't know."
"…Oh." That kind of friends.
"Mhm, but hey, enough about Pokey," he said, "Are you busy tomorrow afternoon?"
"Uh," Lucas thought for a second, "No. Why?"
"Great. Paula told me her family decided to move away from their old house, and she needs help moving stuff. Wanna come help us?"
"Um, I'm not sure if I should come, since you and Paula…" Lucas said, then trailed off, "…I mean, not to be a third wheel or anyth—"
"Pff. No you're not," Ness interrupted, rolling his eyes, "Tell me, you're coming or what? It's in Twoson, but mom said she'd drive me there."
"Sure. Why not?" Lucas said.
"Good. Meet you after school, eh?"
"Alright."
"Okay. See you then, Luke," Ness said, then turned towards the direction of his house. He half-turned with his arm raised in a wave. Lucas waved back and walked the other way to his own house. He didn't find out why Ness was in such a bad mood this morning, nor why those eyes he'd seen through Ness' dreams were familiar. He yet had to remember someone who had big, green eyes with a demonic glint in them.
Tomorrow I'll ask him about that, he thought to himself. He shuddered, not blaming it on the weather, but an inexplicable feeling of foreboding gripped him. Tomorrow won't be a good day, his guts told him, and he always believed his guts.
A/N: To roughly translate what the Sanchez brothers were saying:
- Hey, I've heard of this boy. I saw him on the news everywhere.
- Yes, he's famous.
- Do you think he'll play our game?
- Who knows?
- (When Sanchez #1 leaves) To hell with this. Let's go.
I loosely based their lines on an excerpt from a TV show though, since my knowledge in Spanish is slightly lacking. No idea why I felt the need to include them other than (slightly indecipherable) comic relief, but that was their chief reason of existence in Earthbound and Mother 3 to begin with!
Anyway, Review responses:
Connor the speling pro:
Well, standard deviation (at least of a finite sample/population) is the sum of squared deviations, divided by the population/sample size, all of that is under a square root. Hm, close enough, I'd say. XD Ugh, there was a microelectronics professor who had this catchphrase 'It's all middle school stuff'. Guess I totally missed that one time they spoke at length about CMOS circuits and field-effect transistors back in eighth grade. :L
Yeah, you guys have a different football and call The Beautiful Game 'soccer'. It's a fuel for a lot of teasing for Americans abroad. :P
Aaah I got sloppy with formatting! X( I knew that was gonna happen. Yes it is stupid and I feel stupid. At least I fixed it along with some little more polishing I needed to do. I think I got too hasty. Blame the two matches again. XD
Well, you can't spell awkwardness without Ne- *gets shot* No but really. I think Venus got away with flirting with Ness like that because she's a hot celebrity. Imagine if it were a much less attractive woman or (even worse) a man hitting on a younger girl. Society's weird like that.
I think Lucas told Ness out of an impulse. He's still a kid, and kids are very prone to making decisions without thinking them through, whether they can read minds or not. As for Ness' ideas... Well, they were thrown out of the window, it seems. I wonder what his ideas were, too. XD (kidding)
invisibile-luigi:
Thanks a lot. :)
hellolord307:
She's none the wiser. What Paula doesn't know won't kill her, right? ;)
Guest:
Thanks. ^^
I'm really happy you like this story. Haha yeah, Venus kinda likes messing with younger kids. I - somewhat - based her personality on her appearance in The Chosen Four comic. It's a hilarious, well-drawn retelling of Earthbound, go check it out if you don't know it already. :)
I agree, it's rather fun to see them in uncomfortable situations. Especially Ness, since he's headstrong and a bit of a mug, too.
Hm. Claus did die under the rubble at the beginning, so I doubt that hoodie boy is Claus. :L
Pokey. XD Yeah, that guy is the butt of everything. And he does set himself up for resounding defeats. :P
I'm looking forward to seeing your stories. I'm sure they'll be great. ^_^ Yeah, get some sleep. Some people have none of that, y'know. :P
Ninten64:
Thank you. :)
I think I kinda set up this chapter to be about Ness' antics. Guess it'll have to wait. Whoops. XD
PSIBoy:
Nah, I really appreciate criticism, no worries. XD
Ah. I'm not too knowledgeable with armies and their ranks, but I now see why generals wouldn't go for just any military excursion. The pigmask army in this story are slightly more based on the Nazi army, being far more efficient and vicious than the bumbling fools of M3. Perhaps the general was deployed to oversee Tazmily's invasion since it was the only significant human settlement on the islands, making it important enough for a higher-up to personally see it through. *shrugs*
Yeah, the plot is rather slow. I just hope it doesn't get too boring with filler chapters.
I know what you mean with dimwittedness. I abhor stupidity as well, but in Ness' case he's smart, but would rather not use his brain. A lot of people are like that, I guess. But he does lend himself to be the butt of many jokes and awkward situations.
Yeah, the hooded person is the current 'person of interest', I guess. He'll get explained in the coming chapter, honest.
As for my other fic, I think you'll find more points of criticism there, since I had basically no experience in writing prior to writing it. XD Again, I don't mind criticism at all, since it actually helps me get better.
StickOfTruth:
Nope, a prequel it isn't. :P
Yeah, I prefer bottom A/N since I usually have a comment or two on the chapter. (Like this one and the one before), but since everyone else place their notes at the beginning, I think it's something of a convention around here. At least having it down here does away with extra taps/scrolls for unconcerned readers.
Tell Ness he's an off switch? Guess that would make Lucas sound like an exploiting jerk. Besides, Lucas already told Ness he can't read his mind. I guess Lucas won't live down telling Ness he actually likes having him around. XD
I guess by the time you've read this chapter you ruled out one of those two suspects at least. You're totally right about Dragos getting confused by two Claus's (...Clauses? Claus'es?) though. I'll explain that next chapter. I think I just needed to give more reason for Ness to hate/fear the hoodie person.
I think Magnet Hill affects PSI users only, since if it affects random people and being near a very public place would make it rather conspicuous. Giant Step exists in this story, so do each one of the 8 sanctuaries obviously, but I don't see all of them would get featured.
This is an Earthbound fanfic, so there has to be references to the game by definition. Although I love putting slight references to the game (and other things). It's a weird thing I do even in everyday speech, quoting famous people, book/movie/game/show lines or references and I duly note those who recognise the reference. Inside jokes are the best jokes. :P
Yeah, Lucas has a heart of gold. It's sad that bad things happen to good people, but it's something that happens all the time in real life and fiction. I think a major factor into why Lucas became friends with Ness is not being able to read his mind. For Lucas, it's like being a normal person for a change.
Pokey should have an entire novel dedicated to him getting served sweet justice. Lucas does hate him a lot, but oh well. XD
Ness is my favourite protagonist in Mother series. (Naturally, since it was the first game I played back when I was a kid). Oh, Everyone seemed to be waiting for Ness' plans of mischief. Hopefully nobody is let down with that, but Ness was almost strangled in his sleep! O.O Plans can wait while he recovers from a traumatic experience. I apologize. XD
For someone who likes being pairing-neutral, I love putting in a lot of "interesting" moments. It's kind of a friendly satire of slash pairings. I find them kinda amusing, since there's little sense in a lot of them. I mean, some of them are plain strange: Poo/Jeff? (When did they even talk to each other?) Claus/Ninten? (Ness/Lucas could be justified with Super Smash Bros, but this... Not so much) Or the worst: Claus/Lucas? (SERIOUSLY?) The only reason behind such pairings is 'they look cute together', so that should be expected. :P
Aww, I'm really happy you like this story this much. :D
TV Tropes changed my outlook on everything. It's funny how similar a lot of plot devices are. Makes you think of how much of everything is really original. I know I'm not, since I tend to paraphrase a ton of things in my writing. XD (I think I watched a documentary about that, can't remember the name though)
