Chapter 11: Someday, I'll breathe Again
Disclaimer: I do not own the show Friends or the characters or the TV shows and products mentioned. I only own the plot.
A/N: Hey! This chapter was based on the song Breathe Again by Sara, I can't think of her last name. I hope you enjoy it!
Ugh hospitals, was Chandler's first thought when he entered the one that he had spent more time in than in his home for the last two weeks, although the apartment wasn't home when Monica wasn't there. He sighed deeply as he washed his hands with soap before continuing the journey to the room with a photo album in hand.
There was a moment of sickness within in him that was triggered by realisation when he acknowledged some of the patients and doctors on the route. It just showed how many hours he had to endure there. It angered him, pained him and made him sad. No sign of progress. No wife.
Chandler tried to cheer himself up as best he could. He knew Monica would interrogate him about why he was down and he didn't want to use her as a reason. It's only make her feel bad and she's been feeling that way for a while, along with being upset from the loss of five years of her life and there was Chandler feeling sorry for himself. He shared her pain on a different level.
The tired young man did brighten up when his eyes fell on his wife, who was sitting up in bed, examining a book in hand and smiling her heart-warming smile. Chandler stopped for a second just to take in her natural beauty. His smile faltered immediately and the words "oh, crap" came to mind when an older woman came into view.
Judy Geller.
He frowned deeply and his face grew weary. It wasn't that he didn't like Monica's mother but Chandler knew she could manipulate the brunette easily in her vulnerable position, and he hoped and prayed she had only arrived recently.
"Hey, Chandler," said Monica when he slowly approached her section of the ward. She wore a cheery, bright beam that now mirrored his as she waved around an elegant looking book. "Look what Mom got me." She placed the book in his hands.
Chandler's eyes skimmed the paperback page that had a picture of four girls of different ages walking up a hill with beautiful scenery in old fashioned clothes and their backs facing him. "Little Women," he mused, reading the dark print. "You love this book."
"I know!" the raven haired woman replied in an upbeat manner. She carefully took the book back and placed it in her lap. "Thanks, Mom. I really do love it." Monica leaned up in her bed to give her mother a kiss on the cheek.
"Yes, well, I thought I'd better get you something so you wouldn't die of boredom," Judy admitted with a fussy air. "There isn't much you can do here really."
Monica slowly raised her gaze to meet Chandler's, a sweet smile gracing her rosy lips. "Chandler visits me every day. He's trying to help trigger my memory. Apparently, we got married," she teased lightly, holding up her right hand to show off her wedding ring.
"Yes, I can hardly believe it myself," Judy muttered bitterly under her breath, looking down at her crossed arms.
"What was that?"
"Oh nothing, darling," she said quickly before glancing down at her silver watch, not noticing Chandler's suspicious eyes glaring at her. "I really must go. I can only leave Jack for so long in the house." The older woman chuckled lightly. She gently stroked her daughter's cheek affectionately. "Brave the storm, dear. I'll be back tomorrow with your father."
The two women said their goodbyes while Chandler stood there awkwardly. The way Judy was acting made him feel like an intruder. He was a part of the Geller clan now whether she was happy or not. But her superior airs made Chandler feel like an outsider looking in. It was safe to say that he was glad to see the back of her.
The patient turned her gaze to him, her blue eyes sparkling with delight and her lips twitched upwards. "Did mine and mom's relationship improve? Did she become less critical over the last five years?" Monica asked hopefully.
Way to add salt to the wound, Mon, Chandler thought to himself. He examined his wife's face. She was like a little child waking up on Christmas morning to find Santa had come. He didn't want to change that expression to a child who just found out Santa didn't exist.
It pained him to lie but it pained him to tell the truth. Worst part of it all was that the funny man couldn't even think of a joke or quip to distract her. So he decided to go vague.
"A little bit," said Chandler, pulling over the plain, oak chair from behind him and right up to Monica's bed. He didn't look her in the eyes when he spoke those three little words. The brunet placed the folder he was carrying on the bed, his lips curling upright. "Wanna take a walk down memory lane?"
"Alright," she said slowly, unsure if this was for better or for worse. Her finger tips graced the glossy hardback. It scared her to death to see what she couldn't remember. But if it helped get her memory back, then, Monica decided, it was worth it. "Let's do it," she added in a more upbeat tone.
Chandler chuckled slightly. "Okay."
Rachel had retired to Joey's chair, tears lingering in her lifeless blue eyes. There was a pain in her heart as it broke again. She had just found a new-born baby's sleeper hanging in her closet. It was a hard blow and she couldn't think of anything to soothe the pain.
Tears began to stream rapidly down the gentle curves of her face as that well asked question sprung to the blonde's mind for umpteenth time: Why?
Why her?
Why her baby?
Was it because she didn't know what to do?
Was the baby better off without her?
Did she do something wrong?
Was there anything she could have done?
Rachel took sharp breaths in and out trying to prevent another crying secession. She knew her hyperventilating resembling breathing wasn't working for her. She didn't want this to turn into a panic attack, which she saw her sister Jill have when she was ten. The thought of being near another hospital again was enough to make the blonde take it easy and breathe.
"Yoga breaths, yoga breaths," the distraught woman chanted until the pain became more bearable than before. But the problem was: would this pain ever pass? Looking into the misty foreseeable future, Rachel really doubted she would be better.
A weird wave passed over her. Her sadness took a tight grip of the dainty woman and a strange thought possessed her. Like an out of body experience, Rachel slowly got up from her comfortable position in Joey's chair and headed towards the fridge. She opened it to see it was practically empty besides a few packets of meat, eggs, milk, orange, a few vegetables and a bottle of wine Joey had got from the movie he was doing.
Rachel took hold of the cold glass bottle, her eyes scanning the label. She placed it on the counter and found one of the surviving wine glasses. She unscrewed the lid and carefully poured the rich liquid into the clear glass. The blonde only poured in a little bit before she sat down on a stool.
The young woman lifted up the glass and tasted the drink, savouring the taste of the wine on her tongue, and swallowed it back. With a surge of a strange energy, Rachel refilled her glass. More full than the last time.
The recognisable and unmistakable voice of David Attenborough began to talk when Ross entered his living room with a bowl of popcorn and a coke. He set the red can carefully down on the table, then threw himself back on his couch, wiggling until he was comfortable to watch something he regarded as a treat and distraction.
A smile of interest grew on his lips as David began to show him the world below. Australia, Ross thought in an Aussie accent before chuckling to himself.
"Now that over there is a mother Joey protecting her babies." The camera zoomed up on a tall, fierce looking kangaroo with two smaller and cuter ones by her side as they explored their habitat.
"Dammit," said the palaeontologist, quite squeakily, the tone he used when he was quite annoyed or aggravated.
Ross leaned forward and took the remote to do some channel surfing. He flicked onto the next channel where That 70s Show was on. He wasn't long changing it when he saw Kitty placing a baby, who was in a baby seat, on their kitchen table. He flicked the next channel quicker when Ross saw it was a diaper channel. He settled happily on reruns of Three's Company until he realised it was the episode where Jack and Chrissy were babysitting.
"Days of our Life star, Joey Tribbiani, who plays Dr Drake Ramoray, has been in a car crash only recently discovered by his colleges and employers. He is in a stable coma, like Drake was, and it is unsure when he'll wake up. Apparently, he wasn't alone in the crash. He was travelling with a wedding party of six others: the bride, groom, bridesmaids and best man. We send our deepest condolence out to them all."
Ross flicked off the TV channel, knowing no good could come from it. He lay back on his couch, his legs hanging over one arm and his head resting on the other, with his popcorn on his chest and his Coca-Cola down on the floor beside the couch, drinking and eating in a deflated manner as he thought, and thought, and thought.
"Now, her name is Emily," said Chandler, pointing to a pale woman with short brown hair, who was sitting next to Ross on Monica's couch. "We don't like her."
Monica giggled. "Why?" she asked curiously as she examined the photograph.
"Because she was a right pain after their wedding because "
Monica's eyes popped open in surprise when that sentence registered in her brain and, in a high-pitched voice, she questioned, "What?! Ross got married? Again?! Twice!"
"Married three times, divorced three times."
The raven haired girl's head was spinning round and round as she tried desperately to wrap her head about two other woman wanting to marry Ross. It really was a puzzle. "Were they lesbian too?"
"No," chandler chuckled. "One marriage at a time, okay?" He watched Monica nod her okay and was amused by her bubbliness of curiosity. "Emily's British. She's from London. They were actually quite sweet together and you championed Ross and his relationship. It was hard on them because she was in the US for a little time but Ross fell hard for her, and I think Emily returned those feelings. After a few weeks of other things, Ross asked Emily to move in with him. Emily thought he was crazy and said something like "It'd be different in the future if we were getting married" and Ross agreed and proposed. We all had to get off to London, except Phoebe because she was pregnant I'll explain that later and Rachel because she thought it'd be awkward."
Chandler continued on with his story telling and had Monica captivated, hanging off his every word. He then went onto to tell The Night before the Wedding Story.
"You were quite upset and, later, you came up to our room when Joey was out with a bridesmaid. You were drunk but not too drunk. I don't think it was possible to get drunk on that cheap champagne Emily's parents bought. Anyways, I said to you "you have to let that go, you were the most beautiful woman in the room to not" and you said "really" and I said "Are you kidding? You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms." Then you kissed me and that was the beginning of Mondler. Pretty romantic, huh?"
"Yeah . . ." Monica said slowly and seriously than Chandler, her brain soaking up all the information but her memory wasn't telling her anything. "It is."
The forgotten husband took a deep breath. "But you don't remember any of it, do you?"
She shook her head, her dark hair swaying as she did and, with glossy blue eyes, she said, "I'm sorry, I don't. I don't want to hurt you, Chandler. I really don't and I don't mean to or want too."
"Hey, hey, hey," he said quickly, taking a soft but firm hold of her dainty hand in his bigger hand and looked her straight in the eye. "You could never do that. We have to get you better, that's our main goal. We'll toss me and my feelings aside if it means you recovering, Monica."
The dark haired girl blinked back her tears, finding the strength in his confiding words no to let them fall. "I guess I must "brave the storm" then."
"You're a storm braver, if I ever knew one."
"Rachel?" Ross called out before twisting the knob of the apartment door and allowing himself in. He was taken back slightly by the sight of a ditzy looking Rachel sitting at the counter, swirling a wine glass and placing down a half empty bottle of wine. "Rachel?"
"Hey, Ross!" she chirped cheerfully. But from her tone, anyone could tell she was drunk. "Want a glass?" she asked, gesturing to her "best friend", the bottle of wine.
"No, thanks," the dark haired man said slowly, his squinted eyes scanning her. "I'm fine. I'm not too sure that you are, though."
"Are you kidding?" Rachel asked, laughing, as she waved him off. "I'm just fine! I'm totally fine."
"How about I take this?" Ross took hold of the bottle to examine how much she drank. Rachel fell onto of the counter, her hands reaching out to take it back but it was more of a struggle than her drunken brain had expected. "You've had enough, Rach," he said firmly but lightened his tone for his question. "How about some coffee?"
"Ooh, I like coffee!" the drunk woman cheered, clapping her hands.
Within the next half an hour, Rachel was passed out on the couch with a half drunk coffee on the coffee table that Ross had pushed over beside her. After ringing Phoebe to tell her to come right over, Ross placed a blanket over her sleeping form and placed a soft kiss on her warm forehead.
I shouldn't have left her alone, he thought as he gathered some Panadol so it would be near when she woke up with the ever dreaded hangover. A weight had been placed on his shoulders. It was guilt. Pure guilt.
Ross would do anything to make it right.
Chandler left the ward with high spirits. He enjoyed his walk down memory lane with his wife/best friend/forgetful person, even if it did amount in nothing to do with triggering her memory. He got closure and took pleasure in helping his wife to recover, because he rarely got to, and to relieve the boredom from staying in the hospital.
Hopefully, Monica would be discharged soon. Maybe he could trigger her memory outside the hospital surroundings. Hopefully, she'd allow him to left her over the threshold, seeing that they never got to do it. Monica loved tradition and he wanted to give it to her.
Chandler smiled. It was a real genuine smile. He felt on top of the world. Were things finally going to get better? He asked himself and then answered with a no when his smile faltered at the sight of an older, stronger looking man entering the hospital with a bouquet of flowers in hand and a stupid moustache on his upper lip.
A/N: Hello! Happy Rachel's birthday! It's also my cousin's too and it's mine tomorrow. :) I hope you enjoyed this longer chapter and a few new plots that hopefully will continue well. But…who is the guy that just entered the hospital? Sorry for the long delay but I'm in an exam year and if I'm not studying I have training or I'm with my friends. Real life gets in the way of everything. My exams are in 4 weeks I think so I'm not sure will it get updated then. Hopefully, but honestly I'm not sure.
Thanks for all the reviews! A lot of them are nice, but some aren't and I usually get them on a bad day so please stop the hate. Not just on my stories. On everyone's! You honestly don't know what anyone's going through and a nasty review isn't helping them at all. So don't be mean behind the screen! It's a form of bullying and I know people online how have been affected by it so stop. Sorry if I seem mean or cross from this message, I'm not. I just think it's wrong and shouldn't been done. Constructive criticism is one thing, being mean is just another.
Peace ✌
