Hey! My computer's fixed!" I can write again! Yay!
"Soap! Soap! I love soap!" I sang happily as we made our way back to the camp.
"Do you think she likes soap?" Allan laughed as everyone else watched me skip along.
We got back to camp and saw Djaq sitting on a log, watching as Damien poked the fire with a stick boredly.
"Hey guys! We got soap!" I shouted happily.
"Well I'm happy for you." Djaq smiled as she watched me dance around the camp, grabbing my '1192' clothes and my regular '2007' clothes to wash down by the river.
"Alrighty. I'm going to wash in the river. No one come down there until I'm done or I'll castrate you." I said.
"What does castrate mean?" Allan asked curiously.
"Something very, very, very bad for a man such as yourself." I replied, heading to the river.
I knew the way by now as I had been here for almost a week and had gone down almost everyday. When I got down there, I decided to wash my clothes first so they could dry a little and not be sopping wet when I brought them back to camp. I decided they were clean enough after scrubbing them on a river rock for about 15 minutes each. I stood up and hung them on a tree branch behind me, stripping down and hanging the god forsaken green dress up there too so I could slip back into it when I was done. I turned around and faced the river, deciding to run and jump to get used to the temperature of the water faster. I saw an overlook beside me and decided that was my best bet to get my whole body wet at the same time. I grabbed my soap and climbed up the steep hill, tripping and falling once, which was kind of awkward considering I was naked. I stared down at the water below me, clutched the soap tightly to my chest, closed my eyes, and plunged in. Hitting the water was like a thousand knives all stabbing my body at once. As I reached the surface, I let out a shout of pain.
"Holy freaking Jesus!" I screamed.
I waded to the water that wasn't very deep and began washing myself with the soap quickly, making sure to get my hair as well. I plunged underwater quickly to rinse my hair, making sure to get all of the soap out of it. I got out of the water as quickly as I could and immediately felt warmth from the surrounding air. I sat around air drying for a minute or two before putting on the green dress. I grabbed my clothes off the branch and made my way back to camp.
"Al-alright. Th-the river i-is you-yours." I shivered, still chilled from my bath.
It didn't help that my hair was still wet.
"Are you alright?" Will asked.
"I'm fi-fine. Ju-just a li-little chilled." I stuttered.
I felt a blanket go around my shoulders and turned around to see Much smiling at me.
"Th-thanks." I said.
"Allan, go hang up her clothes for her so they can dry please." Djaq said.
Allan stood up grudgingly, grumbling about 'women's work' but not daring to say it out loud.
Robin helped me move closer to the fire and all was silent until Allan found something of interest to him.
"What's this? Some sort of weird hat? How come you've never worn it before?"
We all turned to look at him and I stared in horror as he proceeded to put my bra on his head.
"It won't fasten right." he said, struggling with the clasp.
"Here. Let me help." Robin said, standing up to help.
"That's uh... That's not a hat." I stuttered, turning a brilliant shade of red.
"What is it?" Robin asked, taking it from Allan and observing it closely.
"It's my uh... It's this thing... from the future... that's called a bra." I replied.
"What's it for?" Will asked, standing up and looking at it as Robin handed it to him.
"Will you stop passing it around?! It's a special protector for certain things women have that men don't." I replied, trying to find a way to explain it without actually explaining it.
"What sort of things?" Allan asked.
"Breasts, Allan. It keeps my breasts in place." I said, deciding blunt would probably work best with these people.
Will dropped it suddenly on the ground and turned such a bright shade of red that I could have sworn he was glowing.
"Why would you need one of those?" Allan asked, apparently unfazed.
"It keeps me from sagging and it's comfortable. Can we stop talking about it now?" I asked, highly embarrassed.
"Djaq is a girl and she doesn't need one." Robin pointed out, joining our conversation.
"Yeah well I'm from the future. It's a high tech device that you should all forget you ever saw. It might corrupt you." I said, grabbing it up off the ground and putting it on the branch.
We all went and sat awkwardly by the fire, the only ones not being Allan and Damien. No one knew what to say so we sat around the fire in an awkward silence for about 45 minutes.
"I have to admit, this is the longest awkward silence ever and I, frankly, and tired of it." I said, standing up and going to see if my '2007' clothes were dry.
They weren't so I checked my '1192' clothes. They were and I was so desperate to get out of the hideous green dress so I decided to change. Thankfully, my undergarments from 2007 were dry so I grabbed them as well.
"Alrighty. I'm going to go get changed behind that tree over there. If you follow me, I'll castrate you." I said, repeating my previous threat.
"You keep saying that. What does it mean?" John asked.
"Let's put it this way. You'll lose a very special body part if you follow me." I answered as I walked a good few feet away to change.
I had just finished putting my dress on and was about to put my Converse on when the alarm signaling that someone was closing in on the camp. Ignoring shoes, I ran out to the main camp just in time to see everyone rushing to the spot of the trap. When we got there, we saw a boy of about 16 or 17 hanging upside down.
"Please. Let me down! I mean no harm. Honest." he pleaded, looking down at us from his odd position.
"Who are you and what business do you have in this part of Sherwood?" Robin asked in his scary 'I'm-the-leader' voice.
"My name is Alexander. Gisbourne'e men were chasing me so I was running away and the forest seemed like a great place to lose them." he said, panic rising in his voice.
"Why were his men chasing you?" Much asked.
"I stole some bread. I was desperate. I have no family and no way to earn money so I have to steal in order to live." he replied.
"Cut him down." Robin said.
Will and John went forward and lowered him to the ground. He stood up and brushed himself off. Standing up straight, I got a good look at him. He had black hair, a little past his eyes, with light blue eyes that roamed around, searching each of our faces. I thought he was pretty hot, remembered he was like 16 and I was 23, and felt like a child molester.
"Gross." I mumbled to myself, shaking my head to rid myself of such thoughts.
Everyone was too busy questioning the kid to notice my strange behaviour so I decided to join in on the interrogation.
"So you have no family?" Robin asked.
"None sir. My parents died a few months ago. They fell sick during the winter and never recuperated. I was an only child." Alexander replied.
"Are you a skilled fighter?" Robin asked.
If I didn't know any better, I would have thought he was interviewing the kid for a position in the gang.
"I don't know. I've never really been in a fight sir." he replied.
"Well Alex, how would you like to join ranks with Robin Hood's men?" Robin asked.
"I would be delighted sir. Do you know him?" Alex asked.
"I am Robin Hood." Robin answered, his smug smile popping onto his face.
"Well it certainly is an honor sir!" Alex exclaimed, a huge, goofy grin spreading across his face.
"You don't have to keep calling him sir you know. He's not really all that gentleman-like." I said.
"Ah. Let me introduce you to the gang. The lovely loud mouth is Casey-"
"Hey! I thought I was the lovely loud mouth. Not being funny, but you can't just go 'round given away my title." Allan exclaimed.
"-the lovely loud mouth that will lie to you about everything is Allan. The dark haired silent one over there is Will, and the big one is Little John, my friend here is Much, the Saracen over there is Djaq, and this little fellow is Micheal."
"Damien." I coughed.
Robin glared at me and I just shrugged my shoulders and smiled.
"It's lovely to meet you all." Alex said, bowing.
"Well let's head back to camp. I want to get dinner started before it gets dark." Much said, staring at the sky.
As we began to walk back, Will grabbed my arm and made me walk beside him behind everyone else.
"I think you should stop talking about your real home in the future for a while." he whispered softly.
"Why?" I asked, looking at him.
"We have to be sure that we can trust this boy. I don't think it's safe for you to parade this fact in front of someone we don't know very well." he whispered.
Robin noticed we were behind everyone else and turned to give us a questioning look. Will walked ahead to join the rest of the group. He had really made his point. Now that I thought about it, I was quite disturbed at how very little precaution was taken to keep my identity a secret. Who knows what can happen if anybody found out about me.
Several Days Later/Castle Point of View
"So how is our spy doing?" Vasey asked Gisbourne.
"He's fitting in quiet nicely. He doesn't say much and is polite when spoken to so he's hardly noticed by Hood and his gang." Gisbourne replied.
"Excellent. Your son has proved to be quite an asset Giz. Its fortunate the mother died before she could start blubbering about how 'it's not safe for a boy his age.'" the Sherriff said, mimicking the high pitched voice of a worried mother.
Gisbourne stayed silent while the Sherriff went on about how women were lepers.
"So, do we know what their next move is going to be?" the Sherriff asked when he realized Gisbourne was no longer paying him any attention.
"No my lord." Gisbourne replied.
"I'm disappointed. So how about our lady friend? How is she doing?" Vasey asked.
"Apparently she claims she's from the future." Gisbourne said.
"The future, eh? I believe we need to get our hands on this little lady." the Sherriff replied.
So, who is the spy? Micheal or Alex? Why does the Sherriff want Casey so badly? Does he believe her? Will it take me as long to update as it did last time? No, it won't but you'll have to find out the answers to the other questions in Waking Up Just Got A Little Too Weird For Me: Part Twelve!
