Chapter 11

Carth Onasi

The anger returned like an old friend, caressing Carth with comforting familiarity. His friends had marched him back onto the Raptor, and Zaalbar's paw never released the pilots jacket until they were back on board. Carth sat against the bulkhead holding Revan's lightsaber in his hands thinking only of how good it had felt to hurt Varn. If not for Zaalbar, Carth wasn't sure he would have stopped . Even now Carth only wanted to return and finish the job.

Revan, his Revan, sold by a greedy drunk to a greedier Hutt. And he'd been only steps away from her earlier in the day. He had failed her just like he'd failed Morgana.

Standing apart from Carth the others were holding a quiet discussion. Occasionally one of them would glance over at him. Carth wasn't sure if it was concern or they just wanted to make sure he wasn't trying to leave. He didn't really care either way. When Canderous broke away from the group to approach him, Carth turned away.

"I take it you're giving up," Canderous said. He dropped into a crouch a few feet away. The muscles in the mercenaries shoulders were bunched tightly and his pale blue eyes never left Carth's face. "I always knew Revan belonged with a real warrior."

"I am going to do whatever it takes to get her back," Carth said vehemently.

"By sitting here and feeling sorry for yourself? A warrior would be preparing for a battle to reclaim what was rightfully his," Canderous said. He shook his head. "Even you Republic soldiers would be discussing tactics and making plans. How do you plan on freeing Revan when you're hiding in here and sulking?"

For a moment he considered taking a swing at Canderous. The words stung, but it was the disappointment Carth saw in that scarred face which gave him pause.

The Mandalorian was right he realized. He had been sitting here feeling sorry himself. Revan was gone but not dead, and she needed him to remain focused. As though sensing Carth's decision, Canderous extended a hand to him. Sheepishly the pilot grabbed it and with a grunt Canderous pulled him to his feet and gave him a solid clap on the shoulder.

"I was going to punch you for what you said," Carth admitted. Cancerous laughed.

"That was my plan. I thought you needed to vent some of that anger before you could be rational," the Mandalorian said and rubbed his jaw. "But I'm glad it didn't come to that. I'm impressed with how you handled that barkeep."

Carth looked down at the lightsaber in his hand. Finally he saw the blood which smeared it and felt a pang of guilt. The anger was still there too of course. It whispered to him as sweetly as it had when Saul Karath had been at his mercy. Back then, on the bridge of the Leviathan, he'd pulled back from that emotion because of Revan's gentle words. Only tonight she hadn't been there, and Carth nearly killed a man.

But that's not her fault. The weakness was mine.

He took the hilt in both hands and made a closer inspection of it. When he tilted the lightsaber, there was a series of unpleasant sounds, a clink and then things inside rattled. Broken.

Canderous raised a brow but said nothing. He just turned and led Carth back to the group. They were sitting or standing in the main hold and when he approached they stopped talking and looked at him. Embarrassed, Carth cleared his throat, and extended Revan's lightsaber to Bastilla. She took it, carefully avoiding the blood, and frowned when it rattled. The Jedi gave him a flat look.

"It can be fixed," Jolee said calmly.

"It's hard for me to say this, but, I'm sorry for losing my temper back there," Carth said. It would be less painful to just get the apology over with now, though it wasn't easy.

"That was really scary," Mission said. There was worry and fear in her small face. "I've never seen you so angry."

"I never meant to frighten you Mission," Carth promised her. "It won't happen again."

"I should hope not Carth," Bastilla said in a tone which bordered on reprimand. She had been on the Leviathan, and was no stranger to seeing Carth angry, but had never seen him surrender to it. She seemed to hold Revan's lightsaber accusingly. "Giving into that anger will only weaken our efforts at rescuing Revan."

"It won't happen again," Carth said harshly. He took a deep breath, pushed that anger away again, and met his sons dark eyes across the room.

Dustil only regarded him with curiosity. The boy had seen his parents fight, though Carth and Morgana were careful to not argue in front of their child. He realized though that Dustil had never seen his father behave so violently.

"I'm glad you're safe Dustil," Carth said to which the young man nodded. He would talk to him later, in private, about the incident. About a lot of things actually.

"Dustil thinks he might have idea why Motta wanted Revan," Jolee said. Carth felt relief as the old man gently pushed the conversation back on track. "Looks like someone made an impression on the Hutt."

"That was a pretty amazing fight," Mission pointed out. Dustil flushed at the girl's admiration but explained his thoughts to his father.

"I used the Force in my second fight. I didn't mean for it to happen but it was a difficult match. I was lucky to get out of that one alive really. Afterwards Motta asked me to sign a contract with him but I refused."

"Good boy," Carth said reflexively then regretted it. Consternation flickered over Dustil's face.

"Varn did mention you would be grateful for his help," Jolee pointed out. Carth wasn't certain but took the old Jedi at his word. He didn't remember much about the confrontation except for the satisfaction he'd felt while assaulting helpless Tiru Varn. Jolee clasped his hands behind his back and went on. "Motta might think he can convince you to sign a contract if he promises to treat Revan's illness. It's also a not so subtle hint he will let her die if you don't."

"Well, we just explain to this Motta that Revan and Dustil are forbidden from this sort of thing. I mean there has to be some Jedi rule against entering a death match," Carth said appealing to the two masters.

"Of course this kind of thing is forbidden," Bastilla told him crossly. She sighed and shrugged then. "Carth, when Revan left it wasn't on official business. You know that."

"It also made the Council nervous when Revan returned to the Outer Rim," Jolee added.

"And maybe if they'd given Revan more support she wouldn't have left in the first place," Carth argued.

"I don't disagree with you Carth," Jolee said softly.

"No one thought her memories would return. They weren't supposed to," Bastilla added. "She never discussed it with anyone."

"She suffered nightmares for months before she left," Carth said. His head was pounding now, temples throbbing with dull anger and simple exhaustion. Weakly he rubbed at his brow and squeezed his eyes shut. No matter the angle Carth looked at things, the Council had used Revan as a means to an end and discarded her after. And he could probably argue with Bastilla about that for hours.

"None of this is really relevant to our current problem," Canderous growled.

"Yeah, we need to figure out how to rescue Revan," Mission said. She turned to look at Dustil. "Do you know where this Motta lives?"

"He has a club, not far from the arena," Dustil replied tensely. The tone caught Carth off guard. When he looked he saw Dustil's locked jaw and the furrow of his brow. Carth worried he was taking the evenings earlier violent outburst personally. "I think he conducts all of his business out of there. It's actually a fairly large place. I'm rather positive he also lives there."

"Revan could be there as well," Zaalbar suggested.

"It's not likely Motta would want her too far away," Bastilla said.

"So, we go down to his club and demand Revan," Carth said, but even as the words escaped him, he realized how desperate it sounded. No one immediately shot his plan down but they gave him odd looks.

"You won't like this," Jolee said. He cleared his throat and avoided meeting Carth's stare. "I have a feeling Motta already knows you've discovered Revan, well to him your mother, has gone missing. And he probably knows about poor Tiru Varn and figures the man confessed quickly to the plot."

"So he's expecting us then?" Canderous asked and Jolee nodded.

"Let's make him wait," Jolee said. "If I'm right, he's expecting Dustil to show up at any moment. He'll feel confident the boy will be in an outrage and that it will make him easy to manipulate. When Dustil doesn't show, Motta will start to get nervous."

"That's actually not bad idea Jolee," Bastilla said.

"Oh, you didn't think an old man like me could be clever huh? You don't get to be this old without learning a few tricks," Jolee grumbled.

"So, we just leave Revan in the hands of a - a - a gangster? Are you mad?" Carth exploded.

"We aren't leaving her, we want to make Motta nervous. It might give us an edge in negotiating with him," Bastilla explained.

"Maybe he'll just get angry and hurt her. Or worse!"

Jolee shook his head. "No, I don't think Revan is in any danger at the moment. Right now she's Motta's trump Pazaak card."

Carth sucked in a breath. The suggestion began to take root in his mind. Privately the man admitted some of the resistance he felt was his own disappointment. In the space of time between finding Dustil and learning of Revan's abduction, Carth had been positive he was going to finally reunite with the woman he loved so dearly. Fate it seemed had conspired to twist his happy moments until they were bitter.

"I don't see any other choice," Carth admitted. Mission laid a hand on his forearm.

"In the meantime, maybe we can send T3 to investigate," she said of the little droid who had been waiting silently in the background. At the mention of its name T3 whirred and chirped eagerly. "He might even be able to get into that Hutt's home."

"It's as good as anything else I guess," Carth sighed. The hour was late and the days events were starting to catch up. Exhaustion pressed heavily down on him and he thought he could see it the faces of his friends. "Mission, can you reprogram T3 tonight? We should get rest in the meantime."

There was murmur of agreement from those gathered. Mission grabbed her bag and withdrew with T3 trailing behind. Carth reached out and caught Dustil's sleeve as the others began to depart.

The young man went tense at his fathers touch. Carth tried to catch his eyes but Dustil looked away. "Do you have time to talk?"

"I'm fairly tired Father. That was a hard victory tonight," Dustil told him. But there was a hollowness to the words.

"Of course," Carth said. He let his son go, confused by Dustil's indifference but assuring himself it would be sorted in the morning. After a moment he retreated to the cockpit and settled into his chair. Carth folded his arms over his chest and waited for sleep to take him.