Bella
This
is the last night you'll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know
you know
I'm everywhere you want me to be
The last night you'll
spend alone
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go
I'm
everything you need me to be
The last night- Skillet.
I ran to Charlie's as if I was flying, my heart filling with the love and relief I had been given. Feather light brushes of an electric surge ran down my arms and spine every time I thought of Edward.
The world seemed so much brighter, more vibrant more beautiful knowing everything was going to get better where before the world had reflected my inner turmoil, cold, dull and almost hollow.
As soon I got back Charlie would see the change in me, he wouldn't need an explanation but would mutter incoherencies about marrying to young, whatever made him happy.
I wouldn't know Renesmee's reaction, whether she'd scream, cry or agree but I knew she'd speak to him eventually, she missed him. She missed them all, it was clear in her eyes. It wouldn't really surprise me if she'd tried to contact Jake already. I hoped he'd stuck to his promise and not went bashing down Charlie's door for her, although if she'd found away to get around Charlie and called out the door to check for him I wouldn't be able to blame him for coming.
It might be selfish but i wanted Edward there first, for Renessmee to listen to him, to forgive him first. Oh god i was being biased, it didnt mattter, as long as she forgave them both. Which she would, she loved them all, my heart swelled again as I realised everything would be okay.
I passed a scent I recognised as Leahs, yeah i knew he'd have her out running patrol. I flew through the remaining jade and came to Jakes scent near the edge of the trees. He'd worn a trail into the ground and I realised how lucky i was was, everything had really worked out for us all. We could all be together happily.
I listened out when i got to the brim of the forest, Charlie was in the kitchen, reading instructions to a pasta recipe and muttering. Nessie was in my old bedroom, the curtains had been drawn shut. I sighed, either she knew she was being watched and didnt want to be seen or she wanted to be shut away. Not everyone was as close to being okay as i'd thought.
"Dad, Nessie" I called, closing the front door quietly.
"Bells, that you?", charlie called unnecessaryly. Who else would it be? "I'm in the kitchen."
I wandered in and found him brooding over the back of a packet. Running a hand through what was left of his hair, I tried not to smirk.
"Need any help?" I supplied making Charlie jump in alarm.
"Gah, God, I didnt hear you come in"
"Sorry, Dad" I said pressing my lips together.
"Its fine" He replied gruffly.
"Do you want me to make that for you?"
"No, I got it undercontrol" he said reaching into the cuboard for a small saucepan,"You seem better, everything okay now" I knew my dad well enough to know that is offhand tone was burning with curiousity.
"Nearly there." I sighed, crossing my arms and walked over to sit at our old table. I set the backpack containing Nessie's clothes on the surface infront of me.
"How is she Dad?" I asked quietly, frankly a little scared of the answer. All the happyness and vibrancy I'd been feeling vanished, as if being swtiched off.
"Charlie sighed and tuned the tap off from filling up a measuring jug and set it on the work top. He turned to face me and he looked younger with a sad lost expression that had been under the mask he'd been wearing.
"She didnt eat anything I made her this morning and insisted on going back up to bed. I went to check on her and she pretended to be alsleep. I could tell she was crying Bells".
I'd left her for more than 2 hours, when i knew she was hurting. How could i be so selfish, How could i have made so many mistakes in so little time. Charlies heavy footseteps crossed the lino untill i felt his warm hand on my back, he pulled out the chair beside me.
"Bella what happened" Charlie said softly. "You scared me when you turned up like that, you both did. I thought he'd....I thought so many different things."
"It was my fault." I whispered.
"What was?"
"Im sorry Dad, for scaring you.", I lifted my head out of my hands and Charlie took my cold hand in his. His eyes roamed my face concerned, "It was just a misunderstanding and I overreacted and left with Renessmee."
"Why was Nessie crying, if you overreacted Bella?" Charlie asked not buying my half truthful answer.
"Well.....Rose wanted us to stay so we had a little argument, which upset her. Children don't like seeing their family fight." My voice got lower towards the end of the sentence, as muddy human memories came back to me. Charlie heavily exhaled.
"No they dont, I remember the look you had when me and your Mom..." he trailed off., staring off into the past. We sat for a long minute thinking of different things.
"Im going to go check on her." I said, getting up to fast that Charlie jumped again when he realised i was standing over him, "Sorry Dad"
"No, no it's fine." He said getting nosily out of his chair and returning to the work top.
I knocked softly on my old bedroom door and heard a muffled hiccup come from inside.
"Renessmee" I said tenderly, opening the door and closing it behind me. The room looked undisturbed, it was dark, with just a little square on the floor from the weak light that had filtered in through the curtains. A small lump lay in the middle of my bed, cacooned by the duvet, quivering slightly.
I sat down on its edge and ran my hand delicatly over the mound.
"Momma?" It asked, voice breaking. I pulled the duvet off her at the same time she'd begun to sit up and I pulled her to me. She must of been crying a long while, her breathing was quick and shallow, around her eyes the skin was red sore and her bottomless brown her eyes flooded. Her little hands clutched my hair and I willed myself not to break down, I hated seeing her like this. There was no way to describe it, knowing their was nothing i could physically do, whether it was give it a band aid or scare away what was haunting her. In this case id be willing to rip it apart, I realised if this were it, it would be Rosalie Id be willing to kill. I sent away the thought as quickly as it came.
I rubbed circles in between Nessies little shoulders, waiting for her breathing to become more even before speaking,
"Im sorry for being so long" I told her truthfully. Hoping she'd forgive for this, for leaving her to suffer by herself while I.....
"It's okay Momma" She hiccuped as i smoothed the wet hair away from her face. Her little hand came up to my cheek and a question flashed before my eyes. I choose my answer carefully.
"I told your Dad he could come and talk to you. He misses you.", I let this sink in as her chocolate eyes searched my face,"He wants to explain his side of the story."
She nodded and her body jolted with a hiccup.
"Would you like a glass of water?" I asked softly.
She nodded again wiping her eyes, I kissed her forehead before tucking her back into bed.
"Are you hungry? Grandpa told me you havn't eaten." She shook her head
"Do you not want to try something" I urged softly, she shook her head again.
"Okay", I stated defeated,"I'll go get your water". Feather light footsteps were nearing, running through the forest. I strightened up and listened out as they bagan to slow.
"What is it, Momma?" Nessie asked timidly.
"I think you Dads here" I murmured back as soft steps asended up the porch and a knock issued from downstairs. I didnt want to leave Edward alone with Charlie for too long, he didnt need to say anything to get get his opinion across and it would only make Edward feel worse.
"I'll send him up with your water" I asked, it was completely up to her.
She nodded and another tear escaped and I smoothed it away, as Charlie opened the door downstairs and exhaled sharply. I kissed her forehead again and left the room closing the door soundlessly behind me.
"And what do you have to say for yourself?" Charlie was demanding off Edward when I got halfway down the stairs. It must of started to drizzle outside, little diamonds were glistening in Edward bronze hair and his shirt had little dark specs over it. His honey eyes searched my face while his was composed.
"Dad" I cut in sharply. I knew he was concerned but I've given him an explanation, he didnt have to turn on Edward. Charlie opened his mouth to retort when Edward beat him to it.
"Bella, it's okay", he turned to Charlie," I know the damage i've caused Charlie and im going to do everything to fix it," Charlie opened his mouth again but Edward carried on, "I promised to look after her Charlie, I wont break that promise and the same vow applies to my daughter. They are the most important things to me now,ever and always."
"And you couldnt remember this last night because?" Charlie inquired hotly as Edwards facade slipped and the burning man shadowed his face.
"Dad!", I barked,coming down the last few steps to Edwards side and lacing my fingers through his," I've told you what happened, it's not Edwards fault. Its shared between everybody and we're dealing with it." I finished, glaring.
"Bella.." Edward started but i cut him off.
"Edward dont."
Charlie looked between us both and let out a huff, " Fine, You know where I am if you need me" and with that he stalked into the living closing the door, not so gently, behind him.
I pulled Edward along with me into the kitchen and closed the door.
"Im sorry about that" I said, apologetically looking up at him.
"Its less than i deserve Bella" He sighed, pulling me to his chest. I wraped my arms around him tightly, holding him to me and sighing in relief. Everything seemed a little better already with him here.
I pulled away reluctantly and looked up into the face i loved, the shadow was still there. I tried to smooth it away with my fingertips and tried to communicate silently with those rich eyes which were hardened over. I gazed into them untill they began to melt,turning warm and honeyed, a smile played with my lips. Edward bent and kissed me softly and my arms snaked reflexivly around his neck.
"Renessmee needs a glass of water" I breathed. Not that I didnt want to stay where I was but i wasnt going to put my wants before Nessie's needs. Not ever again.
"Mmm, I heard." He murmured, kissing my cheek.
I pulled away took a glass from the cuboard, when a burnt smell caught my attention. I left the glass on the work top and crossed over to the bin to inspect. I disguarded ruined pasta mixute lay on the top of everything else. I smiled dispite of myself.
"What is it?" Edward asked curious taking the glass and running the water.
"Nothing" I said innocently as he raised his eyebrows at me and held the glass of water out to me. I looked at it and then back at him.
"You take it up to her." He regaurded me apprehensively, unsure.
"Edward, she wants to see you. She misses you."
He nodded and took a deep breath. He arched to give me a swift kiss before crossing the room and closing the door silently behind him. His footsteps were faint on the stairs and he tapped lightly on the Bedroom door before going in.
"Renesmee" Edward murmured.
"Daddy" Renesmee choked, I heard the cover being pushed back and the bed springs shift.
It didn't feel right to listen, I walked quietly to the back door and went out into the drizzly, afternoon and took shelter in the woods.
Huge paws beating agaisnt the earth were coming closer.
"Hello Jake".
