"We still haven't found Kuji," Ichigo sighed.

The rescue group headed back to hotel where it had all started. Aizen tagged alongside them, he was disguise in a suit with glasses. In a strange way he looked like Clark Kent, if you squinted hard enough. But imagining a sadistic, enigmatic man as a superhero wasn't the easiest thing.

"This world hates me, it fills my life with emptiness and sorrow," Toshiro said to no one in particular.

"And our leader has gone emo..." Ichigo added dryly.

"Well my friends, I do think this is bad," Aizen said.

"Will you shut the hell up!" Kenpachi growled.

Even through Aizen could kill Kenpachi in a fight, it was something about him that made the ex-captain fear the tall barbaric captain. Of course, his pride would never let him admitted that out loud.

"Wait a minute," Ichigo said, a light bulb going off in his head. "Yuki, you was with us last night?"

"Yeah," Yuki nodded. "Why?"

I"What do you remember?"

Yuki thought about it for a second. "Hmm, you guys, superman over there, and blue kitten decided to head back to the hotel. something about a prank with a bed."

Toshiro who had finally came out of his emo stage stopped. "Did you say bed?" Yuki nodded, it hit Toshiro like a flying rock, why hadn't he thought about it before. "I know where Kuji is."

The soul reapers looked surprised and followed Toshiro to the hotel and up to the roof.

"This is pointless, we already been up here," Byakuya said.

Toshiro ignored the older captain and walked further on the roof, but this time they saw a familiar face.

"H-hey, guys," Kuji said through gritted teeth, the male was in pain from the bad sun burn.

"KUJI!" they said in unison.

" I'm so happy your safe friend," Aizen said a little too friendly.

"...the hell." Kuji said a little surprise.

"Don't ask," Toshiro and Ichigo said at the same time, helping him up.

"My pills must have worked!" Kuji boasted.

"Dumb ass, you almost got us all killed by your crazy girlfriend," Kenpachi said.

"She's not crazy!"

Somewhere in the Soul Society...

"How will I kill each of you," Soi-Fon begin with a demonic expression on her face. The three soul reapers watched in horror as she debated over which weapon to kill them with first. She had chained them on the wall, in the order she would kill them.

"Kyoraku will die first. Then Utitake. Last will be umm..."Soi-Fon said trying to remember the boy's name.

"Hanaruto," Hanaruto reminded her.

"Hamtuna!" Soi-Fon said precisely.

Hanaruto sighed sadly, it was bad enough he was about to die, but even his executioner didn't remember his name.

"You know Juu, whatever happen I hope we can die being friends," Shunsui said hopefully. Juushiro was about to consider accepting Shunsui back as his friend till he said.

"I mean I don't blame you for stealing Retsu underwear, I mean she's has a great body. I even seen it once."

"...exactly how did you see her with no clothes on?" Juushiro asked, already knowing he wouldn't like the answer.

"I was spying on my little Nano-chan in a hot spring and there she was...naked. Who knew a Kenpachi was hiding that perfect body under all those garment," Shunsui said dreamily.

"Shunsui."

"Yes?"

"I hope your death is painful."

Back to the soul reapers...

"Ok, Kurosaki call Rukia and let her know were on our way back," Toshiro ordered. Ichigo nodded and begin to dial Rukia's number.

"Shit we still need to get ready," Kenpachi interjected.

"Were just going to have to get ready in the car," Toshiro said cleverly.

"...why the hell do we need a car in the Soul Society?" Ichigo asked.

"Don't." Toshiro sighed. "Don't even ask, the logic of this world is far beyond any of our explanation."

#

"Now you all will die!" Soi-Fon said holding up her choice of weapon which was strangely enough a cat claw. "Shunsui will be the first to die."

Juushiro smiled at this.

"Ah, I guess you can't resist my mainly charm," Shunsui said boastfully. "That is why you have to kill me first."

"Oh lord..." Juushiro rolled his eyes.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Soi-Fon said.

"My manliness is simply too much for you handle," Shunsui stated with supreme smugness is was glowing off of him." My stubbles, my masculinity, and my raw sexiness is too much for you endure. I understand killing me first is best for both you and I. The last thing I want to do is steal my best friend's girlfriend because I was more manly."

Silences.

"AHAAHAHAHAHAHHA!" Soi-Fon went into a hysterical laugh at the flamboyant captain. "You think that's why I'm killing you first? I'm killing you first because I don't like you."

"Deny my raw sexuality if you want."

"HAHAHA!" Soi-Fon laughed, wiping a tear from her eye. "I'm going to have fun killing you."

She walked over with her claw in hand, about to strike him but a voice stopped her.

"Soi-Fon that's quite enough," Unohana voiced ringed, causing the bride to be to stop in her tracks.

"Captain!" Hanaruto said, with twinkling eyes.

"Soi-Fon that is no way for a bride to act on her wedding day," Unohana chided. "You should be getting ready for your wedding."

"But, Kuji stood me up!" Soi-Fon protested clawing at Shunsui face.

"OUCH!"

"That's not what I heard," Unohana said.

Soi-Fon face lit up. "What?"

"I heard he was on his way to the wedding," Unohana said softly. "And you don't want him to know you tried killing your fellow captains do you?"

"No..." Soi-Fon murmured.

"That's a good girl." Unohana patted her on the head like a mother would do their child. Soi-Fon clawed another time at Shunsui face before letting the three males go, much to her dismay.

Shunsui, who face was bruise from the claws still managed to say before passing out. "See, I told you she couldn't resist my manliness charm."

Everyone sighed.