Heyo, here comes the danger up in this club...I'm sorry, great song, anyway, I just wanted to start this off by mentioning one of the best fan fictions I have ever read, You and I Will Fall In Love, is absoulutley wonderful, I'm currently reading it for the third time, and, If you havne't read it, (Which you probably have, it's a RusAme classic) Then you should, top notch, it's great. ALSO, we have some...stuff, going on in this chapter, nothing saucy, lo siento, (How does one even write smut? don't worry, I'm building up to this guys, my self esteem..)
Ivan shifted in his sleep, he sighed and struck a hand out. His eyebrows creased in concentration, he felt around with his hand and arm, feeling only empty space. Ivan's eyes shot open, "Fedya?" Noise from the kitchen soon brought the Russian to his feet, he blearily shuffled in and yawned, "What are you doing in my kitchen?"
Alfred dawned his pink bunny apron and a spatula, "I'm making eggs, sit down, they're almost done dude." Ivan stared at his kitchen before sitting down, it wasn't too messy.
Seeing this Alfred gasped in fake astonishment, "Me, messy? Why would you think that, it's not like I exploded a nuclear bomb in here or anything." Ivan rolled his eyes and breathed, "Hm, why would I ever think you were messy."
Alfred nodded and continued in his preparation of eggs. Not one minute later he slammed a plate onto the table in front of Ivan's face. "Boom, the best scrambled eggs you will ever taste in your whole life."
Ivan startled, before picking up a fork and taking a small bite, "They taste like eggs." Alfred raised his arms up and walked backwards, exclaiming "You're hopeless!" before plopping down into the adjacent chair. Eating his eggs in a similar manner, "Best dang eggs ever…" he mumbled, mechanically eating the breakfast food.
Ivan couldn't help it, he burst out laughing, clasping a hand over his mouth, "Yes, Fedya, they are very good." Alfred glared at him, "You jerk, they are great, you just don't understand culinary perfection!" Ivan continued laughing, gripping the table, "Yes, yes, culinary perfection, good job." Alfred crossed his arms and turned around, briskly exiting the kitchen, "Fine then, if you want to insult my cooking then you can clean up."
Ivan composed himself and stared after the blonde, "No problem, cleaning up is easy, da?"
"SHUTUP!" Alfred screamed at Ivan form the other room. Ivan chuckled and began his quest in cleaning up the irritated blondes mess.
He walked into the room and plopped down next to Alfred, who was lying on the floor. "I still hate you."
Ivan laughed, "Uh-huh and I hate flowers."
Alfred gave him a sideways glance, "That means your whole life is a lie."
Ivan looked at him, "Yes, Fedya, my whole life is a lie, I'm actually the personified country of Russia, here to spy on you because you are American and I still have a grudge from the cold war." Ivan said sarcastically.
Alfred sprang up, "Yes, that makes me the personified country of America dude! And I knew you were spying on me, I've been feeding you false information!"
Ivan mumbled, "Feeding me eggs…"
Alfred ignored the comment and slowly allowed himself to lie back down next to the Russian, "Hey Ivan, Imagine that, Imagine if like, our friends were countries!" Ivan looked at him. "Well, yes, you'd be America, I'd be Russia….uh, Francis...almost perfect for France, I don't know though, who would be Italy out of the two Vargas's?"
Alfred nodded, "Hmm, uhh, both, there can be two." They stared at each other, "O-oh my god why are we even talking about this!" Ivan gasped, "I don't know, but it's great da?" Alfred nodded and they slowly calmed down.
.."So is now a bad time to tell you that you're twenty minutes late for work?"
Ivan stood up quickly, "GAH EVERY TIME THIS IS YOUR FAULT!"
Alfred shuffled up, "OH COME ON YOU WERE THE ONE WHO INSULTED MY EGGS!"
"WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?"
"STOP YELLING!"
Ivan hurried out the door, Alfred closely behind, he hopped into the front seat as Ivan quickly floored the beat up truck.
They were there in ten minutes.
While Ivan was freaking out, Alfred was casually constructing a lie to tell Elizabeta. Alfred looked at Ivan, "Ok dude, I got this, let me take care of it!" Ivan looked at him skeptically, "You really believe you can trick Liz?" Alfred winked, "You can trick anyone with a little pizazz and charm!" Alfred prepared his 'jazz hands' and walked into the flower shop, Ivan was following behind, fully expecting this to fail tremendously.
Elizabeta looked up from the counter, "I'm gonna be honest, I'm surprised." Alfred coughed, winking at Ivan one more time, "Well you see, Ivan insulted my eggs, we got into a fight, which I totally won, and then we both passed out from pure exhaustion, that's what happened." Ivan glared at the blonde and shook his head at Elizabeta, "No, I did not say anything bad about his eggs, he started yelling, then we started talking about stupid things. He ended up neglecting to tell me how much time has passed." Alfred jumped up, "Um, he started yelling first, and It's not like I purposely withheld the information."
Elizabeta paused, looked at them, then started laughing, "Really It's fine. I don't really care, you guys are adorable."
Alfred huffed and crossed his arms, "No, we're manly." Elizabeta rolled her eyes, "Ok then." She pointed at the back and directed her attention to Ivan, "You, go in back, I want you to organize the seeds in alphabetical order ok?" Ivan looked slightly shocked, he was sure he had done that last week, hm, he'd have to recheck. Ivan smiled at Alfred as he passed and disappeared into the back room.
Once he was gone Elizabeta gripped Alfred's shoulders, "So, what's the sex like?"
Alfred's face morphed into one of complete confusion. He broke away from the woman's hold and reassumed crossing his arms, "E-Excuse me, that's none of your business!" Elizabeta smiled, "You haven't had any yet, have you?" Alfred sputtered, "No, but that doesn't matter!"
Elizabeta nodded and looked towards the storage room, "Ok, so, Ivan's birthday is in two days, we're already planning a surprise party here at five. First off I need you to distract him and make sure he get's her at five, second off, after you leave it would be the perfect time to initiate some sexual advances."
Alfred blushed, "Well I suppose that isn't a bad idea…"
Elizabeta nodded, and pushed Alfred away. Ivan soon returned from organizing the seeds and laughed, "So where do you want me to-"
Elizabeta shook her head, and pushed Ivan and Alfred out the door, "Go on a date, go have fun, kiss, bye!" She waved from the window and waited for them to leave.
Alfred looked at Ivan, "So..I guess we're leaving?" Ivan nodded numbly and started to pull Alfred along. "Uh-where are we going?" Ivan smiled, "The Italians have a nice cafe down the street, I'm thinking we could go there." Alfred nodded as he was pulled along, "Uh-ok, sounds nice for a...first date?"
Ivan laughed, "Yeah, I don't think that time in the flower shop really counted, da?" Alfred laughed too, "Hardly."
The cafe was modern and pretty, the doors were glass with white frames, it was bigger than Alfred expected, and little tables one would find on a porch littered the cafe. A tiny bell rang when they entered the place.
"Ah, hello, what can I get you?" Feliciano squeaked from the front. A rougher italian voice that could be determined as Romano, also sounded from the back, "Ey, Bastards go find another coffee shop!" Feli laughed and discreetly closed the door to the kitchen area, where apparently Romano was. "No, don't listen to him~ OH! Alfred, hello, hello, and you are Ivan right?"
Ivan nodded and Alfred waved, "Yup this is Ivan!" Feli smiled and motioned table, "Ah, sit down, on the house, friends!" Alfred sat down and smiled widely, "Thanks Feli, you're the best!"
Feliciano winked and disappeared into the kitchen, "After all, love is a wonderful thing, si?"
Alfred blushed and Ivan smiled, "da." Alfred rolled his eyes at Ivan, "You're a hopeless romantic." Ivan raised an eyebrow, "I'm the romantic one? You're the one who got up early and made me breakfast this morning." Alfred paused, "Well, you're the one who dragged us to a romantic cafe after getting off of work early." Ivan opened his mouth and raised a finger, before closing it. Alfred's smile was triumphant, "Exactly."
Feli soon reappeared, a large smile on his face, for some reason tomato sauce was splattered on his apron and part of his face, "Ah, here you go! Enjoy!" He quickly placed two cups of coffee and two cream filled pastries in front of them, and scurried back to clean up.
Alfred curiously poked the pastry before taking a small bite. He chewed his food slowly, his eyes lit up, then he proceeded to aggressively stuff the pastry into his mouth.
Ivan scrambled back in his chair before lurching forward and grabbing Alfred's wrist, pulling them slightly away from the pastry. Alfred was left with half a pastry in his mouth and no hands to eat it right. Alfred cocked his head and looked at him questionably, while Ivan gasp, and tentatively took the pastry from his mouth and placed it on his plate.
"That is not how you eat food."
Ivan grabbed Alfred's pastry and held it up to his mouth, "bite"
Alfred scoffed but followed the order, taking a small bite and swallowing, he looked at Ivan with a, 'are you happy' look painted on his face. Ivan rolled his eyes and gave him the pastry back, "Eat it right."
Throughout the rest of their time at the cafe, Alfred made a point to eat the pastry as slowly as possible.
By the time they were done, however, it was at least three o'clock in the afternoon. Alfred stuck out his tongue as he finished, "So...where now?"
Ivan smiled, "Well, now we're going to your apartment, we should gather some things if you're planning to stay at my place for awhile."
Alfred shook his head, "Nope, can't do that, not gonna stay any longer."
Ivan frowned, "But we were having so much fun together."
Alfred shrugged, "Sorry dude, but I'm not gonna pay rent on a place I'm not even living in!" Alfred offered a small smile, "But, you could come over for a bit, I have an actual bed." Ivan smiled, and nodded, "Ok, da, I will come over."
Alfred laughed and pumped his fist in the air, "HELL YEAH!" He hurried over to the Russians vehicle and awaited him, aw this was gonna be great, he'd be able to distract Ivan at his place for two days for sure!
Ivan chuckled, wondering what made the American so excited, he was sure it was just his Alfred's personality, how cute.
Welp, there you go, the great egg dilemma.
Fanfiction of the day: You and I will fall In Love (seriously look it up, it's a good time.)
Question of the day:Do you guys like me? (cry, fractured self-image.)
~AexM
