11. Fun
She opened her mouth in an attempt to say something to break the spell they were under, but when Peter's eyes dropped back down to her now parted lips, the words just wouldn't come. All she could manage was a soft whimper and then Peter moved in.
His heart was pounding hard against his rib cage but he couldn't help himself. He just had to kiss her, now, before he lost his nerve. The soft sound she made was his undoing and then his lips were on hers.
...
Peter's hand moved up to the back of Olivia's neck on its own accord while his lips were pressing against hers for the first time. He pulled back just a little but held her head in place so he could kiss her again, softly, to try and pry her lips apart.
Olivia sighed and when Peter sucked her bottom lip between his lips gently, her eyes closed and then she was kissing him back. Her body was betraying her and her arm wrapped itself around Peter to hold him closer to her as their tongues found each other.
Peter groaned. He felt like he was catching fire. He was kissing her and she was kissing him back, igniting a passion in him that he had almost forgotten about. He had thought about kissing her and the thought had excited him, but actually doing it was something completely different.
Olivia felt Peter's strong arm around her, pressing her to him, while his other hand was now gently framing her face. The way he was kissing her made her tingle all over and she couldn't help it that she was kissing him back. It felt so natural and she felt so … alive. His kisses were passionate, almost overpowering but she could give as much as he could and when Peter groaned, the sound rocked through her entire body. She was doing that to him … and she loved it. She pushed herself against him, her other arm wrapping around his neck, until her upper body was flush against his. Peter responded by pulling her into his lap with one arm while guiding her leg across his with the other until she was straddling him.
Olivia tore her mouth away from his and for an instant, Peter thought he'd gone too far. But before he could say or do anything, she was kissing him again. She had just needed to suck in some air before going under water again.
"My God, Liv," he mumbled against her lips and she moaned in response.
He pulled her even tighter against him and when they finally needed to stop to catch their breath, Olivia dropped her forehead against his shoulder. Peter rubbed her back gently with one hand, letting the other linger on her ass. It felt so good to hold her and he didn't want to let go. Olivia was breathing heavily, trying to regain control of her body and he had no idea what to expect from her next. It could still go either way with her. When she didn't move, he kissed her neck softly. She sighed and he did it again, kissing his way up to her jaw. She didn't pull away until the last moment, when his lips reached the corner of her mouth.
"What are we doing, Peter?" she whispered.
"It's called kissing," he whispered back, and he was relieved when his remark made her chuckle.
"Smart ass."
"Thank you. I like your ass too."
He accentuated his words by moving both hands behind her ass and pulling him into her a little. Olivia bit her lip and suppressed a moan. This couldn't be happening. He was a friend and a coworker. He was too young for her and Noah was in the next room. But it felt so good to be touched by him … He was moving one hand up to her hip and then let it slide up until his thumb hit the underside of her breast. She couldn't believe how much she wanted him to keep going and that was exactly why she had to stop him.
"Peter," she sighed and he dropped his hand back to her hip instantly.
She pushed down the feeling of disappointment and forced herself to slide off his lap until she was sitting next to him on the couch again. She didn't move away from him, but she couldn't talk to him while straddling him and having all these … things happening to her body. Peter kept one arm around her and she didn't know if that would make it easier or more difficult to talk to him. And what should she say? She hadn't exactly rejected his advances today until now.
"I've wanted to kiss you for a while now, Liv," Peter admitted, starting the conversation for her. But what could she say to that?
"Why?" she asked weakly and she hated how insecure she sounded.
"Because you're an amazing person? Why not?" Peter retorted right away.
"I'm not exactly an easy person to work with," Olivia muttered.
Peter wiggled his head.
"Yeah, that's true. But I'm getting to know you outside of work too, and I like what I see then. I mean, we have good times together, right?"
"With Noah," she confirmed quickly.
"Yes. With Noah. But I'm betting we'd have fun without him too."
"Looks like it," she answered with a smile.
"I want you to know that my intentions are honorable, Liv. I'm not just trying to get laid if that's what you're worried about. I'm really interested in you."
Olivia wasn't sure which scared her more. Or maybe she was. She wasn't very good at the real deal. Maybe just getting laid would have been easier.
"You don't know me, Peter," she told him. "You don't know what you're getting into."
She watched him take a slow breath and breathe it out before responding to her words. What was he thinking?
"Why do you do that?" he asked her after a few beats.
"Do what?"
"Talk about yourself like that. So negatively."
She stared at him for a few moments, trying to process the question. Was she really being negative about herself?
"You're a wonderful person, Liv. You must have heard that before. So why wouldn't I know what I'm getting into with you?"
Olivia rubbed her forehead, wondering what to tell him. Was she ready to tell him about the things she still struggled with, even if it wasn't daily anymore?
"I've got issues," she settled on.
"Who doesn't?" Peter retorted. "It hasn't stopped most people from being happy."
Olivia dropped her head back and Peter pulled her a little closer to him.
"I'm serious," he said softly. "I really think we have something here. Don't you wanna see where it could go?"
She turned her head to look at him and looked into his kind eyes. He really was one of the good guys, that much she knew. But even the good guys always went away again after a while. She couldn't go through that again. And so she told Peter,
"Maybe it can go somewhere. It's just that … whenever I think that something is going right for me, I always lose it again."
Peter knew she was being serious now and he could see the fear in her eyes. he wasn't really sure how he could reassure her, because there are no guarantees in life or relationships.
"We can take it slow," he offered. "But I'll be honest here. I can't give you any guarantees. I just know that what I've seen so far is enough for me to wanna take a risk."
It dawned on Olivia then that it wasn't just her risk. He was taking a risk as well. She had never really looked at it that way, always guarding her heart, making sure she wouldn't get hurt, but she could hurt others in the process. She knew she'd hurt Brian by shutting him out and she wondered if she would do the same to Peter. He was a different kind of man but she was still the same woman.
When she didn't say anything, Peter told her,
"If you need more convincing that this might be worth the risk, I could kiss you again."
It was enough to pull her out of her thoughts and grin at him.
"Oh, you could, could you?"
He moved his face closer to hers.
"Definitely."
Before she could respond, he brushed his lips against hers and when she didn't pull away, he kissed her more firmly. When Olivia responded by wrapping her arms around his neck and sinking into him, relief flooded his system. He still had a chance and he was taking it. He made sure his hands didn't wander too much but her body had a profound effect on his anyway. He really didn't want to pounce her but he couldn't suppress a groan when one of Olivia's hands found its way down his torso and she wrapped her fingers around the inside of his thigh. She had to feel by now that he was very much aroused by the way they were kissing and touching each other. And she still wasn't stopping. He could drown in this woman. He thought she might literally be able to kiss him to death and in the end, he was the one who had to pull away first to catch his breath. Olivia rested her head against his shoulder and he held her close to him while they both tried to regulate their breathing.
Peter turned his head to kiss Olivia's temple and when he found his voice again, he asked her,
"Convinced yet?"
Olivia needed a moment. She hadn't planned on getting so caught up in Peter. They hadn't even mentioned the age difference yet. It was as if it didn't matter to Peter at all. He said he was serious about her and her initial hesitation hadn't deterred him at all.
"I … don't know," she stammered.
"Oh, you want even more huh?" Peter joked, and it made her laugh.
"There you go," Peter said, and he looked at her with tenderness in his eyes. "I bet those other guys never made you laugh like that."
"Maybe not," Olivia admitted, and it was true. Peter was uncomplicated and it was very refreshing. When they were out with Peter, it was as if there was actually a normal life out there, that they could be part of. Aside from being a cop and an advocate for survivors, it was all she had ever wanted. To have a normal life, like regular people. She'd never had a normal life as a child and she still didn't have a normal life, no matter how hard she was trying now for Noah's sake. It had gotten better and her Sundays with Noah were sacred to her now, but with Peter, she actually felt like she belonged in the normal world, outside the grime of the job.
She didn't know how he did it though, because he was a part of the job as well. She realized now that they never talked about work at all off the clock. And she had to admit that it was pretty amazing to be held and kissed by him. They were still sitting close together on the couch, and when Olivia pulled her legs up and wrapped her arms around her knees, Peter wrapped his arms around her completely, encasing her in his embrace. She felt her chest constrict a little when she realized that she'd never felt safer with a man than she did right now.
"Are we okay, Liv?" Peter asked.
Olivia had gone quiet, and while she was still letting him hold her, he needed to know they were okay. When she nodded, he loosened his grip on her a little and she looked at him.
"You're a wonderful man, Peter."
He smiled at her. He felt a 'but' coming and he didn't want it. He wanted her to just let go and see where they could go together.
"Why, thank you," he said, moving one hand down her back until his fingers reached her side.
He tested the waters first by flexing his fingers. Olivia jolted upright and he was pleased to know she was very ticklish.
"Hey," she said, trying to look stern.
Peter put on his most innocent face and then tickled her again. Olivia let go of her legs and tried to get out of his grasp but he held on while continuing to tickle her until she was shrieking with laughter and begging him to stop. He was just crawling over her after she'd ended up on her back on the couch, when they heard a small voice say,
"Mom? Peter? Can I play too?"
Noah was standing there with sleepy eyes but a wide grin on his face, watching the adults play. Olivia tried to sit up quickly but Peter didn't seem to see a problem and stayed right where he was, hovering over her while inviting Noah to come join them.
"Sure buddy. Help me tickle your mom!"
He didn't need to tell the boy twice and seconds later, they were all in a pile, laughing and tickling each other and not trying very hard to get away from each other at all.
...
To be continued.
