Pieces

A Kakashi Romance

Chapter 11: Silence That Screams


"Just about everything is in order," Hinata said in her gentle voice as a soft smile crossed her lips. She looked around the living room at her friends Sakura, Ino, and Emiri who shared dim sum and sake with her.

"We are so excited for you," Sakura said, her hands clasped together. "I can't believe you get married in a week! I can't believe Naruto gets married in a week!"

"I can't believe how much things have changed," Ino added.

"It'll be a perfect day," Emiri added, her voice quiet as she poured herself one more cup of sake.

It would be fair to say that all the girls in the room were tipsy off the strong drink, and it would also be accurate to say that Emiri had the most to drink, as her eyes were the glossiest of them all.

"Thank you everyone," Hinata said with a shy giggle behind her hand. Her lavender-clear eyes discreetly stole a glance in Emiri's direction, noting her sixth cup of sake, and the way she got quieter.

The four girls continued to chat and pick at the now cold dumplings before Sakura glanced at the clock first, noticing how late it had gotten. She yawned and the laughed lightly at herself, scratching at her cheek, pinked from the alcohol. "Speaking of growing up," she said, "I think I better get going so I can sleep and wake up without a hangover. It's an early morning at the clinic."

"I'd better go too," Ino agreed, rising to her feet, as did Emiri.

"I can help you clean up," Emiri volunteered, grabbing the empty bottle of sake and the dim sum containers as Ino and Sakura hugged Hinata and left.

"Oh, I don't mind—"

"Let me help," Emiri said with a smile, her words only slightly slurred in her opinion. "Soon enough you'll have a life of picking up after Naruto, so enjoy the help while you can!"

Sakura and Ino laughed, their laughter and goodbyes following Emiri to the kitchen as she disposed of all the items. For a moment, she leaned against a kitchen counter, closing her eyes, trying to stop the ground beneath her from spinning. When she opened her eyes, she looked out the window above the sink and at the full moon.

It had been two months since she and Kakashi had left Isamu in Kirigakure, and there wasn't a day that went by where she didn't miss the little energetic boy.

"Nee-san?"

Emiri turned to see Hinata watching her carefully.

"Sorry, I got distracted," she smiled, hoping Hinata didn't notice the way her smile didn't quite meet her eyes, or the way she barely spoke since she returned from Kirigakure.

"That's alright," Hinata said gently. "Thank you for helping me clean up tonight. And for doing my hair and make-up for the wedding. Really, Emiri-nee-san, thank you."

"It really isn't a problem," Emiri smiled. "Even if I'm not married to Neji, you're still family in my heart."

"And you are mine." Hinata took a step closer into the kitchen. "If you need to, you can stay the night so you don't have to walk home."

"I'll be fine," Emiri said, and bit her tongue sheepishly, hoping both she and Hinata could pretend her words didn't slur together. "Home isn't that far away."

"Are you sure, nee-san? There's a guest room with clean sheets and it really will be no trouble at all—"

"Hinata, don't worry about me. I'm good, see?" Emiri pushed off from against the counter and walked a straight line, one foot in front of the other. "See? Perfect balance."

Hinata frowned uncertainly, and Emiri smiled, pulling Hinata into a hug. "I'm fine, Hinata, really I am. It was good seeing you tonight. Please let me know if you need anything else for the wedding."

Emiri quickly left before Hinata could protest anymore. She was acutely aware of Hianta's watchful gaze as she left the Hyuuga compound, taking a left into the village. Emiri frowned slightly, it was obvious that Hinata still remembered the months following Neji's death and the way Emiri drank until she couldn't remember how hollow she felt without Neji.

The village was quiet as this time of night as almost all the shops except the bars were closed. As Emiri walked her familiar path home, she passed the shinobi Academy, and felt a slight pain in her heart—Isamu would have started there later that year if he wanted to be a shinobi. Briefly, she paused outside of the Academy and looked up, noticing a light on in the Hokage's Office.

The proper and logical part of her mind told her she should keep walking and go home to take a warm shower and go straight to bed. But alcohol-fueled thoughts made her walk into the building and follow the light.

She quietly climbed the stairs, all the way up to the Hokage's office and knocked on the door. There was a moment's silence, then, Kakashi's voice from behind the door: "Come in."

Emiri opened the door slightly and peeked her head around it, offering Kakashi a smile. "Hi Kakashi."

Since returning from Kirigakure, the Hokage's office had become a familiar place to her. After the mission, she had spent many long days and nights hashing out plans for Kirigakure's clinic with Ino and Sakura, and sometimes Ryo, all in Kakahsi's presence so he could be up to date with the joint clinic. Truth be told, his office had become a place of solace as she found it difficult to spend time walking through the halls of Konoha's clinic knowing Isamu wouldn't tackle her with a hug.

"This is a surprise," said Kakashi as Emiri closed the door behind her.

"I saw your light on, and thought I'd see what you're up to." Emiri pulled her dark brown hair over her shoulder and walked toward Kakashi's desk, some foggy part of her brain aware that Kakashi watched her carefully, his pen unmoving over his paperwork.

"Emiri." Kakashi's voice was steady, thick, as he felt the tangible change in electricity in the air between them.

"Why do you spend so much time here," asked Emiri as she sauntered closer and finally perched at the edge of Kakashi's desk. She was acutely aware of the way Kakashi's onyx eyes tracked her every move as she crossed her legs and leaned forward on her knees, exposing more of the porcelain skin of her waist. Sober or not, Emiri knew Kakashi watched her ever since their mission, and of course, she watched him too. "Shouldn't you be at home, sleeping?"

"I guess it's the same reason you're here tonight," Kakashi lifted an eyebrow. "You're here when you could be in your own bed too."

"I'm here because I'm wondering why you've refused to give me long-term missions whenever I asked."

"I gave you a mission," Kakashi responded. "Find a present for Naruto's wedding."

"I already have one," Emiri rolled her eyes. "That's not what I mean, Kakashi. Why won't you let me leave Konoha?"

There was silence, silence and a significant look from onyx eyes that watcher her. Some part of her knew that if she wasn't as drunk as she was, she would fully understand the look Kakashi gave her in that moment. For now, the only thing she could read was his stillness, and she had the feeling if she were to make any sudden, explosive motion, he would catch her.

"Do you think I'm trying to run away or something?" Emiri asked after Kakashi's long silence. She looked at him from beneath her long lashes. She didn't expect an answer from him.

Emiri got off the edge of the wooden table and walked around the corner, closing the distance between her and Kakashi.

"Emiri…" Kakashi's voice was something like a warning, and something like a man mesmerized by a beautiful woman as she pushed his chair back and straddled his hips.

Where her courage came from, she wasn't sure, probably the sake. But with or without courage, she couldn't deny how good it felt to be so close to Kakashi, breathing in his masculine scent.

"But I don't know if I want to run anymore," Emiri murmured, learning forward, she touched her forehead against Kakashi's. Her dark hair was a curtain around their faces.

"Running doesn't solve much of anything," Kakashi agreed, his voice low and husky as he allowed Emiri to lift one of his hands to her waist. When Kakashi's fingers skimmed the bare skin of Emiri's waist, she breathed out a sigh.

"After tonight at least," Emiri murmured. She pulled back long enough to look at Kakashi. "Running led me here, and there's no where else I'd rather be."

Emiri shifted over Kakashi's hips, feeling the hardness of his erection against her thigh. The thought of him wanting her made her flush. It was funny how her body seemed to know how to move on it's own, how to touch Kakashi enough to get him to exhale forcefully—it was all funny, and she giggled too, because she was still a virgin. That would have been solved a long time ago if Neji wasn't so self-controlled all the time.

Emiri's fingers grazed up from teasing Kakashi's erection through his pants, and up his chest to the edges of his mask, their faces close together. "I know you've wanted me since Kirigakure," Emiri murmured, her fingers tracing his jawline. "I've noticed you notice me, and I've noticed you too. Kakashi, make me forget everything."

Emiri's fingers toyed with his mask again, and she began to tug it down so she could kiss him. Kakashi's hands shot up from her waist, gripping her wrists tightly enough to shock her.

"Emiri," Kakashi breathed, his voice tight, and painfully controlled. "You're drunk…and vulnerable. This has gone too far."

"I know exactly what I'm doing—"

Kakashi moved to stand, and helped Emiri regain her balance as she jumped off his lap. "Whether or not that's true, it's time for you to sleep off the alcohol. Let's go." Without a glance back at his paperwork, Kakashi put a hand on Emiri's lower back and guided her out of the office.

O

"Kakashi." Emiri waved to the left as Kakashi steered her to the right once they were outside. "My home is this way."

"You want to go home right now," Kakashi asked, his voice a deadpan, "while you can barely walk a straight line?"

"I can walk a straight line!" Emiri pulled away from Kakashi and walked forward, as if she was on a tightrope. Kakashi sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, watching as Emiri applied chakra to her feet to keep her upright.

Emiri then twirled on her foot to face Kakashi and nearly fell over. "Maybe having my entire clan see me like this is a bad idea."

"Are you done complaining?" Kakashi's dark eyes were lit with humor as he struggled to keep his voice stern. "We're going to my place."

"Oh." Emiri looked up at Kakashi, raising an eyebrow.

"You're still drunk, Emiri," he responded in answer to her surprised tone. "Are you comfortable with going to my home?"

"I don't see a problem with it." Emiri linked her arm through Kakashi's, mildly surprised when he put a hand over hers as it rested on his forearm—if it was to keep her close or to guide her along, she wasn't sure.

The walk to Kakashi's apartment was short, as he had moved into the Hokage's residence, which was just around the corner from the Academy. Kakashi pulled out his keys and unlocked the door, allowing Emiri to pass.

Kakashi flicked on the light switch by the door, while Emiri looked around, faintly registering the click of the door as Kakashi locked it behind him. Even in his personal space, she noted, Kakashi was a minimalist. The apartment was well kept with everything in varying in hues of grey, back, and white.

Emiri glanced back at Kakashi and watched as he busied himself in the kitchen. He joined her a moment later in the living room and handed her a glass of water.

"I like your apartment," Emiri complimented, taking a sip of her drink. She then covered her mouth with her hand, stifling a yawn. She was surprised when Kakashi chuckled.

"What are you laughing at?"

"Exactly how much did you drink?"

"Well, I split it with the girls," Emiri frowned in thought, "but I think I drank at least half the bottle."

"Half the bottle?!" His eyebrows rose in surprise as he appraised her body, wondering how someone so thin could hold such a powerful drink.

Emiri could feel Kakashi's eyes linger on the curve of her breasts, and the dip of her waist before the curve of her hips. Emiri felt the blood rush to her face as Kakashi sighed audibly.

"I'll show you the rest of the apartment," said Kakashi, beckoning Emiri to follow him with his hand.

Quietly, Emiri followed Kakashi around—the Hokage's official residence was surprisingly small as he showed her the guest room he had made into a training room, a bathroom, and eventually his room.

Moonlight softened the clean and sharp edges of Kakashi's room, illuminating his full-sized mattress. Emiri walked over to the bed and turned on the bedside lamp as she perched on the edge, sipping her water as Kakashi open and closed his dresser.

A black long-sleeved shirt flew across the room and Emiri clumsily caught it.

"You still have control over your reflexes I see," Kakashi observed drily, humored by her lack of hand-eye coordination. "You can sleep in that if you'd like."

"I could still hold my own in a fight," Emiri said, sticking out her tongue as she held up the shirt to her body.

Kakashi sighed, rubbing the back of his neck again. "Feel free to help yourself to anything in the kitchen, and you can use the other bathroom if you'd like. I'm going to take a shower."

Emiri waited to hear the shower to turn on behind the closed bathroom door before she stood and shimmied out of her outfit, leaving only her black panties, and pulled Kakashi's shirt over her head. Since Kakashi was taller and broader than her, his shirt easily fell to her upper thighs, and the sleeves fell to her knuckles. Emiri attempted to adjust the sleeves and she laughed as they fell again.

By the time she had washed her face, rinsed her mouth, and returned to Kakashi's bed with a full glass of water, Kakashi had left the bathroom. He was dressed in gray sweatpants that were cinched at the ankle and a sleeveless black shirt, the mask pulled over his face as he toweled at his spiky hair.

He glanced up at Emiri, noticing her sitting on his bed, her bare ivory legs crossed at the knee.

"Do you need anything else?" asked Kakashi, before he hung his towel on a hook.

"I think I'm good."

"Alright," Kakashi nodded and cleared his throat. Emiri, in spite of herself, chuckled lightly. She knew none of this would be happening if she was sober. "If you need anything, I'll be on the couch."

"The couch?" Emiri raised an eyebrow as she got to her feet. "I don't want to kick you out of your bed, I should be on the couch."

"Don't worry about it," Kakashi shrugged, as Emiri followed him out of his bedroom as he went to a hallway linen closet to get a pillow and blanket. She watched as Kakashi plopped the pillow down on one end of the couch and shook the blanket out.

"Kakashi." Emiri touched his arm, and Kakashi stilled before he turned and faced her, his dark eyes searching hers. Emiri could feel her heartbeat speed up, and her lips parted. She sucked in a breath when Kakashi's hand went to her hip, and she took a step closer. Her hand went to his chest, over his heart—it was beating just as fast as hers.

Emiri rose to her toes slightly. She knew if she went forward just a little more, her lips would touch Kakashi's.

"Emiri." Kakashi's hand dropped from her hip, and he took a step back; Emiri's head swam from more than her buzz.

"If you won't let me sleep on the couch, then I'm sure we can share your bed," Emiri offered a smile. "Come to bed with me, Kakashi."

"Emiri, I can't."

"Why?" Annoyance bubbled up, and Emiri narrowed her eyes. "I don't understand. You watch me with those eyes, and you touch me like you want me close." Emiri stepped forward and grabbed Kakashi's arm and pulled it toward her, guiding him to graze the bare skin of her thigh beneath his shirt. "You can have me, Kakashi, I want you to."

"I know," said Kakashi. "And I know you're sobering up, but you're still drunk, Emiri, and I won't take advantage of that."

"It's not taking advantage if I'm consenting," Emiri pointed out, noticing Kakashi withdraw his hand from her once more.

"That's a fair point," Kakashi agreed. He sighed. "Earlier this night you told me you want to forget everything. I won't be another way for you to run from you feelings, Emiri."

Emiri took a step back, his words a slap to her face. "What?"

"You are an exceptional shinobi, and an equally good person, and you're running away from everything you feel." Kakashi reached out, as if he would touched Emiri, and immediately, his hand fell back to his side. "Emiri, from the moment I met you, I will admit that spending the night with you has been on my mind more than a few times."

Emiri opened her mouth to speak, but Kakashi continued, cutting her off in his matter-of-fact way.

"And if I were to sleep with you, I can guarantee neither of us would forget it."

Irritation, and the slightly embarrassing feeling of lust made her face turn red. Kakashi reached out once more and put his fingers under Emiri's chin, tipping her head up so their eyes could meet.

"Sleep off the sake, Emiri," Kakashi urged in a kind voice.

"You're running too," Emiri observed, taking a step back, so she and Kakashi no longer made contact. She drew the sleeves of his shirt over her knuckles as she turned to head toward his room. "I don't know why, and I don't know from what, but you're a runner, too."

"Was." Kakashi uttered the single syllable, and it reverberated through the quiet of the apartment.

Emiri paused at the bedroom doorway to glance at the man who offered her solace in more ways than he would ever know. "One day I'll stop running," she said. "And one day I hope you'll learn to walk away from the things that hold you back."

Kakashi's eyes widened slightly and Emiri turned on her heel to leave him alone. She crawled into his bed, enveloped by the crispness of clean sheets and softness of his mattress. When she closed her eyes to sleep, images of Neji and Isamu passed through her mind, and through the numbness in her body, Emiri felt her heart break.

No amount of training or alcohol or small distractions could fully numb her to the grief of losing the ones she loved. She knew Kakashi was right; one day she would have to stop running from the things that frightened her.

Emiri turned on her side and stared out the bedroom door she left open. She couldn't hear Kakashi or see him, but she had a feeling he was still awake too. She sighed and closed her eyes, feeling the hands of sleep come for her. There was a time when she was brave, when she stood firmly to face anything that tried to knock her down. Now, all Emiri ever felt like was a coward who ran from her shadows.

Still, Emiri frowned into into Kakashi's pillow. Before she fully fell asleep, her last thought was of her hidden bravery that seemed to come out whenever Kakashi encouraged her.


Author's Note:

Thanks for reading!

Your reviews are love!

x