I'll Always Be There-Chapter 11

Sleepless Nights

Nate quickly opened his eyes upon hearing the baby's shrill cry. He glanced at the clock-4:12 a.m. This was the fourth time that night-or rather, morning-that he had gotten up. This didn't include the three or so times Serena had gotten up since putting the baby down to sleep at eleven. He waited a minute to see if Serena would get up this time; she didn't budge. If he weren't so sleep deprived he might've been okay with this, but now he was agitated. The kid might not even be his and yet he took more care of it then Nate took a deep breath. He was just tired and cranky; S was a good mom and needed her sleep. He got up and picked Salem out of the basinet that was a few feet from their bed to the right. He gently bounced her a few times to stop her crying. Luckily, this almost always worked and before long the little girl was giggling and cooing. "Thank God it's that easy," Nate thought to himself.

Nate went into the kitchen to make Salem a bottle, assuming that's what she wanted. He checked her diaper for safe measure; all was clear there. He maneuvered her into an upright position onto his left side so he could try to fix a bottle with his right hand. This was easier said than done. He didn't put her down for fear of her crying again. The neighbors in the lofts nearby would definitely be happy with that.

After a lot longer than it normally took, the bottle was made exactly how Salem like it (Nate had become a pro at making it to her liking in the past two weeks) and he began walking into her room to feed her in her favorite chair; the rocking chair Nate's mother had given to Salem as a gift. It had been his once and his mother would rock him in it. It, too, was his favorite; it was enjoyable for both to sit and rock in that chair.

Salem hadn't really used this lavish room (thanks to grandma Lilly and Auntie Blair) since she was too young still, and Serena always wanted her nearby, but it was nice at night to feed her. He sat down and positioned Salem into a cradling position again and held the bottle up to her lips. She eagerly opened her mouth and began ravenously drinking. "Damn, the kid had a bottle fourty-five minutes ago and still acts as if she hadn't eaten in days," Nate mumbled. Surprisingly enough, she hadn't even gained much more weight in the past two weeks. You'd think she would weigh twenty pounds by the way she ate.

Nate looked down into the now open and alert baby blue eyes. It was a full moon and it shown into the window bright and spectacularly. The baby's eyes sparkled fantastically, catching the moons light. She sure was a beautiful baby. Nate had yet to find a baby that compared to Salem-and he wasn't just saying that. Maybe he was biased but man, the kid had good looks. And even though she was only two weeks, he could even detect a bit of a laid-back personality-the way she was always smiling and giggling, and was a pretty easy baby. She was the whole package-just like her mama. He laughed a bit, which got Salem to giggle a bit, milk sloshing out of her open mouth. Cute.

He again looked the baby over, just like that day in the hospital, trying to cling to the hope that she would be his. The DNA test date was looming. He had given in to Serena's request to get them done. He knew she was right-Salem deserved to know for sure who her real father was, instead of growing up thinking Nate was her father; but the thought of her not being his agonized him. Raising a child not your own? Obviously he knew it could be done, easily. Rufus had adopted Serena and Erik as his own, and Lilly did the same with his kids. They were, in all sense of the word, a happy family, and though not bound by blood, they were bound even more by love-the love that they had for each other. Nate wasn't at all worried about raising Salem as his own-it just bothered him a bit that Tripp's blood could be coursing through her veins and not Nate's. What honestly made him mad about this whole situation was how just when Nate's life was getting good, Tripp had to come along and ruin it. Every time Nate did something, Tripp had to come along and one up him. When Nate made a volcano for a science project, Tripp made an accurate DNA model. Nate wanted to be the quarterback for a football team outside of school in sixth grade, he worked his ass off the whole week of tryouts, all to get linebacker; but sure enough, Tripp came along and was chosen as quarterback. Nate had always thought it was because he was older, but now he started to see it might be because Tripp had a way of schmoozing everyone to get his way. He was a politician for Christ sakes.

Then when Nate was just about to have Serena as his own, Tripp had to come along and ruin that, too. Luckily Nate had gotten her back; but now, the one thing Nate had always seen himself doing with Serena-making a family-might be ruined now. Did Nate love Salem? Absolutely! And he'd love her no matter who her father was; it just sucked. It wasn't the same family Nate had in mind. What if Tripp DID want to be a father to Salem? Then He'd have to deal with Tripp coming over to take Salem for the weekend, where he and Maureen could fill her head with a bunch of crap, then bring her home all hyper and pissy just to spite Nate. She could end up being a whole different kid in just a few weekends with Tripp. Maybe he was worrying for nothing, but he knew how his family worked, and it wasn't always the most functional. Part of him hoped that if she happened to be Tripp's, he wouldn't want anything to do with her. At the same time, he knew that would hurt Salem knowing her own father didn't want anything to do with her, so part of him wished that Tripp would man up for once in his life and take responsibility of his daughter.

Look at him. He didn't even have the text results and he was already coining Salem as Tripp's. Maybe he knew it all along, from the moment Serena said she didn't know if Salem was Tripp's or his. It was just his luck. He got Serena but he couldn't have it all. He had gone on to accept that if Tripp was ever involved in any of his life, it would not work in Nate's favor-ever.

He took the now-empty bottle from Salem and hoisted her onto his left side to burp her. After a few good burps he decided it was time for both of them to go back to bed. He put the bottle in the sink and gently rocked Salem, walking slowly to the room. By the time he got there, she was dead asleep. He put her into her basinet and kissed her head. He had a feeling this would be the calm before the storm.

GG

A/N: I know I said I'd be updating frequently and I am truly sorry I haven't. I went to Vegas for three weeks in june and when I came back there was a death in the family so we had to deal with that. I really am so sorry for the absence. I'm definitly going to try to update a lot more frequently. So chapter eleven, before the DNA test, the calm before the storm. Most of you would love for Salem to be Nate's but I'm sure you know where this story is headed. I promise you I am not going to completely screw Nate, he will get his happy ending I promise. Sorry this is such a short chapter, I just wanted to get one out since you guys have been waiting and I felt bad. Hopefully when I get my creative juices flowing, I'll pump out more chapters that are longer and better. Thanks again for keeping with this, I love you all!

-B!