October 1, 1997
Harry had managed a bit of sleep after finishing his paper in the small hours of the morning, but he was still groggy and tired in the morning. It seemed the whispering and staring had only increased overnight, and he could only guess that news of his suspension had reached the castle at large. This was confirmed when the Slytherin table gave him a standing ovation when he walked into the Great Hall. He waved absently and walked over to the end of the Gryffindor table, where Neville and Ginny were sitting – the rest of their friends didn't have class first thing, and were having a lie-in.
"Mate, you look awful," Neville said.
Harry tried not to scowl. He knew Neville was right – he had bags under his eyes, didn't have time to shave, and a small bruise had blossomed on his cheek. So, instead, he shrugged. "Morning Nev, Gin," he said.
"How'd you sleep?" Ginny asked with a sympathetic smile. Harry shrugged and poured himself a cup of coffee.
"So, uh, you ready for today, mate?" Neville asked. Harry raised his eyebrows and grunted inquisitively. Neville winced slightly. "You have your 'trust talk' with Susan."
Harry coughed up his coffee. "What? No I don't," he said. "I had it with Hermione on Wednesday, which means…" He did some mental arithmetic and his eyes widened. "Fuck. No. I'm not going. I can't."
"Riddle's already seen you," Ginny said, nodding towards the Head Table. Harry looked over, and saw Riddle staring back. Riddle raised his cup of coffee to him.
"Fuck. Fuck," Harry said, then grabbed Neville. "Nev, you said I look awful! Awful enough to look sick?" Neville shrugged, confused. "I'll say I tried to troop through it, but succumbed." He tried to make himself gag. "Quick, help me throw up."
"Heads up," Ginny said. Harry looked up to see Riddle walk towards them.
Harry's eyes widened and he let go of Neville. He tried to gag again, growled, and rubbed his temples with his eyes closed. "Come on, come on," he said. "Uh, Hagrid naked. Filch and Pinch fucking. Uh. Uh. Old people sex! Old people sex!"
Riddle cleared his throat. Harry turned around in horror to see Riddle standing behind him. "Good morning, gentlemen," Riddle said. "Ready for today's lecture?"
Harry quickly tried to look as miserable as possible. "Morning, Professor," he said in a low, slow voice. He coughed weakly. "I don't know if I can make it." He coughed weakly again. "I better go to the hospital wing."
Riddle raised his eyebrows. "Nice try, Mr. Potter," he said. "I'll see you both in class."
He walked off. Harry groaned and brought his head down to the table harder than he wanted to. "Ow," he said dully.
"That was pathetic," Ginny said.
"Not helping," Harry said, his voice muffled by the wooden table.
"Wasn't trying to," Ginny said. Harry raised his head and glared at her. She smirked and grabbed her bag. "I have Charms. I'll see you guys later."
She got up and left. Harry groaned again. Neville nudged him. "Come on, mate, we should get going," Neville said. Harry groaned louder and got up slowly. Neville smacked him. "Don't be like that. This is a good thing. You have to talk to her sooner or later."
"I was hoping for later," Harry grumbled. "I swear to the gods, if she cries again, I'll…"
Neville raised his eyebrows. "You'll what?" he asked.
"I'll feel really, really bad," Harry grumbled and dragged his feet to the Defence room.
An hour later, Harry was no more ready to face Susan – he felt worse than ever. He may look awful, but it was nothing on her. Her hair was in an unwashed ponytail, she wasn't wearing make-up, and it was clear she had been crying that morning. Her eyes were puffy and her nose was red.
Riddle called for them to pair off. Harry sighed and looked around the room. The rest of the students looked at him with a range of emotions – Neville was sympathetic, Hermione was cold, Draco was gleeful, and Tracy was interested. Harry grabbed his bag and sat down next to Susan.
He sat in silence for a moment. "Morning," he said. Susan nodded, but very purposefully did not look at him. He sighed and looked around the room. Draco was watching intently next to a very annoyed Hermione, while Tracy and Neville were talking in low tones – every so often glancing towards him and Susan. Riddle seemed very disinterested in what was happening. Harry ran a hand through his hair. "Merlin."
"I'm sorry," Susan said suddenly. She didn't look up at him and it was in a quiet voice. "About Justin." Harry frowned. "I don't know why he did that."
Harry shrugged. "It's alright," he said. "He was just looking out for you."
Susan shook her head. "He's not usually like that," she said.
"Nothing I wouldn't do for one of my mates," Harry said. "Hell, I'd probably do worse."
"Does it hurt?" Susan asked and looked up at him. Her usually clear blue eyes were red and muddy. Harry felt something stab at his heart. "Where he hit you?"
Harry blinked. "Nah, I've had worse," he said. They fell into silence again. Harry traced the grain of the wooden table with a finger. He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry."
Susan snorted. "Don't give me that," she said.
"Give you what?" Harry asked.
"Pity," Susan said with a watery laugh.
"It's not pity," Harry said. Susan looked at him – her eyes pleading and with a tinge of anger.
"Then what is it, Harry?" she asked.
"It's the truth!" Harry said, louder than he intended. He looked around, and continued more quietly. "I'm serious. I feel like shit."
"I'm so sorry I made you feel bad," Susan said with a slight hiss.
"Merlin," Harry growled. "Listen, I-"
"Save it," Susan said and looked away. She stared straight down at the table, and Harry knew she was crying. "I hope you and whoever-she-is are very happy together."
Harry shook his head. "It's not like that," he said.
"Then what is it like?" Susan asked. She didn't look up.
Harry ran a hand through his hair again and sighed. "Alright, alright," he said, and took a deep breath. "I know I have a reputation." He sighed again. "That, at least, has been made very clear to me. And I know you can't trust me to tell the truth, and to be honest you probably shouldn't." He averted his eyes. "I've – I've not been good." He looked up again. "But here it is anyway – I'm not seeing anyone else, and I wasn't trying to lead you on or play hard to get or some bullshit like that. The truth is –" He took a deep breath. "I'm interested in someone else, and I didn't think it'd be fair to you if I didn't… say something – if I didn't tell you how I felt."
A long silence greeted Harry's speech. He shook his head and leaned back. He stared at the ceiling of the classroom.
"You like someone else," Susan said. It wasn't a question – just a statement of fact. She turned to him. "Do you love her?"
"No!" Harry said, then sank in his chair. "I don't know. Maybe. It's… new. What I'm feeling. I don't know what to call it."
Susan wiped her eyes. "So it's not that I'm not good enough," she said.
"Gods no," Harry said. "Susan, you're a fuckin' knock out. To be honest, you're kind of unbelievable." He laughed. "You're way too good for a prick like me."
"You are a prick, aren't you?" Susan asked, a hint of a smile on her lips.
Harry nodded. "Absolutely," he said and scratched the back of his head. "What did Justin call me? An asshole with a broomstick."
Susan giggled, and Harry smiled in relief. "He has a way with words," she said.
Harry nodded. "He's a good guy," he said. "When you see him, tell him I'm sorry." He sighed. "I – I said some things I shouldn't have." Susan nodded, and Harry smiled. "So, are we good?"
Susan smiled, somewhat sadly. "We're good," she said, then a hint of her usual cheerfulness entered her eyes. "But if I hear you're treating this other girl badly…" Harry nodded with a grin. "Can I ask who she is?"
Harry winced. "Sorry," he said with a sigh. "I – this whole castle is apparently obsessed with me. I don't want to risk it."
Susan nodded and looked back down at the table. The bell rang to end class, and she smiled again at him. "I'll see you around, Harry," she said, and got up.
Harry nodded, then he let out a deep breath and hung his head over the back of the chair. The rest of the class passed him by – Draco seemed disappointed, but Tracy gave him an appraising look. Neville clapped him on the shoulder. "That didn't seem too bad," he said.
"No," Harry said with a groan. "But I never want to do it again." He got up and grabbed his bad. "Now who needs a drink?"
Neville raised his eyebrows. "It's 10 am," he said
Harry snorted. "I was joking," he said. "Mostly." Neville snorted. "Fine, I won't be a degenerate. Spoilsport."
###########
After lunch, the seventh year Gryffindors made their way to Transfiguration. Seamus was trying to convince Harry to protest the suspension, and Harry was getting steadily more annoyed.
"Enough, mate," Harry eventually snapped. "She's not going to overturn it."
"Mate, it's simple," Seamus persisted. "Just come up with some cock and bull story about how you're 'really sorry' and 'it won't happen again'-"
"I am, and it won't," Harry growled.
"Perfect!" Seamus said happily. "McGonagall'll eat that shit up."
"Mate, you don't get it," Harry said. "I deserve this."
"But the team!" Seamus said, and turned to Ron, Neville, and Dean. "The team?" They shook their heads. "Don't you care about the team?"
Harry turned. Seamus took a step back against the wall. "Of course I care about the bloody team," Harry growled. "Gods, I've been on the team longer than anyone else. But I wasn't acting like captain, and unless I accept the consequences, I don't deserve to be captain. Get it?"
Seamus swallowed nervously. "But –" he said.
"Stow it," Harry said and stomped off.
Seamus took a deep breath, and turned to his friends with a glare. "Thanks for the back up," he said.
"Mate, I told you he wasn't going to go for it," Dean said.
"I think he's doing the right thing," Neville said.
"He's screwing over the team!" Seamus said, and continued walking towards the classroom.
"He's accepting responsibility," Neville said with a shrug.
"Slytherin's going to slaughter us," Seamus said.
"We don't need Harry," Dean said.
"We could use him, though," Ron said and looked down.
"Don't encourage him," Dean said.
Ron shook his head. "Right," he said. "Harry's going to do what he thinks is right. You can't change that."
"Whatever," Seamus said, and walked ahead.
Ron sighed. "He's going to talk to McGonagall, right?" he asked. Dean sighed and nodded.
Sure enough, the moment McGonagall finished her lecture, Seamus stood up and approached the professor's desk. Harry swore.
"Merlin! Seamus," he said, and followed.
"Professor," Seamus said, ignoring Harry. "You have to let Harry back on the team."
Harry growled and turned to McGonagall. "Professor, he does not speak for me," he said.
"No, I speak for the team," Seamus said. "If Harry doesn't play, neither do we."
Harry pulled Seamus around to face him. "Seamus, we talked about this," he said.
"No," Seamus said, and poked Harry in the chest. "You talked about this. You didn't give us a chance to respond."
"I messed up," Harry said. "I've accepted it, why can't you?"
"Because this isn't about you and your bloody pride, mate," Seamus said. "This is about what's best for the team."
"This is what's best for the team," Harry said. "How can I be captain if I fly off the handle every time someone makes an orphan crack?"
"But you learned your lesson, mate," Seamus said. "You won't do it again, you said so yourself."
Harry stared at Seamus and shook his head. "You are –" he said. "You know what, forget it." He turned to McGonagall. "He does not speak for me. I am not asking for my place back on the team. I'm sorry for bothering you."
Harry turned, and walked out the room, trying to ignore the stares of the rest of the class who had been watching the scene at the professor's desk. McGonagall cleared her throat – she had watched the dialogue with a expressionless look.
"Mr. Finnegan," she said. "It is not up to you to decide fitting punishments for my students, but I will accept your resignation from the team."
Seamus ran a hand through his hair, and looked at Ron, Neville, and Dean – who shook their heads. "Bloody hell," he said. "I'll stay, but this is a mistake."
McGonagall raised her eyebrows. "That'll be a point from Gryffindor for your language," she said, and turned back to the papers on her desk.
############
October 2, 1997
Harry sat at the breakfast table. He felt better. It had been a rough couple days, and sure he had been up until 2 am for Astronomy, but he was feeling good about things – he was good with Susan, and he had accepted the suspension.
"Eh, ain't that Hedwig?" Ron asked around a mouthful of eggs.
Harry looked up into the flock of owls that brought the morning post – inside the swirl of black, grey, and brown, he saw his family's white snowy owl. He groaned slightly, but smiled as Hedwig descended towards him. The owl landed softly and presented a letter to Harry.
"Morning, girl," Harry said and grabbed the letter from her leg. "Not getting too bored at the house?" Hedwig hooted and hopped onto his shoulder. Harry laughed. "I missed you too, girl. You should hang out here for a while. I'm sure I'm better company than that old dog." The owl hooted and nipped his ear.
Neville snorted and shook his head, then he nudged Ron. "Come on, we have Potions," he said.
Ron nodded and got up eagerly. "Say hi to Sirius, eh?" he said, and Harry nodded.
They left – Seamus and Dean didn't have class that morning, the only reason Harry was up was to go for a fly before Creatures. Harry looked at the letter somewhat suspiciously. He had a good relationship with his guardian, but they didn't owl each other just to chat. No, Sirius had something to say, and Harry suspected he knew what it was. Harry sighed and opened the letter.
My dearest Godson,
What the fuck is wrong with you?
With love,
Your adoring Godfather
p.s. Really? Getting suspended for punching a Hufflepuff? I raised you better than that.
p.p.s. I meant the getting caught part.
p.p.p.s. You gotta fight for your right to party.
p.p.p.p.s. Okay, fine, I'll do the 'responsible guardian' thing. But only because Moony is looking over my shoulder and the courts said I have to. I know I'm not one to talk, but violence doesn't solve everything – especially not something like this. And I know McGonagall can be a bit of a pain in the ass, but she's nothing but fair. I probably should've impressed on you that your captaincy position was a position of authority and responsibility, and part of that is that you must be held to a higher standard than your fellow students. That's part of the deal, and it's important for you to know. I probably haven't said this enough, but you are a special kid. You need this, whether you think so or not.
Harry sighed as he folded up the letter. Hedwig hooted softly again. Harry scratched her on her neck and she leaned into her hand.
"I'm going for a fly, girl," he said, and turned his head to her. "Want to come with?"
Hedwig hooted again and took off. Harry frowned, shrugged, and got up from the table.
###########
October 3, 1997
Harry found himself in an argument with Draco during Defence. They were having another 'trust talk', and after a couple a couple false starts, they had settled on a topic both of them knew quite well – Quidditch. It probably wasn't a good idea.
"You're an idiot if you think a Phalanx can do anything to stop a Hawkshead!" Harry yelled. He was standing up, facing a sneering, sitting Draco.
Draco scoffed. "Any halfway competent defence could break a Hawkshead," he said. "Not that you would know what that looks like."
"A moron could break a Phalanx," Harry said and sat back down. "The only thing a Phalanx is good for is if the offence tries to pull a Polonski Detour."
"It is a classic play," Draco said.
"A Phalanx can break it no problem," Harry said.
"Now you're defending the Phalanx?" Draco asked with a smirk.
"Against a Polanski? No shit," Harry said.
Draco snorted dryly. "I don't know why I'm debating this with someone who got kicked off his team," he said.
Harry sighed. "For fighting," he said. " Not because I don't know the game. Merlin, mate, I'm the best player in school."
"I'm not your mate," Draco said with a scowl. "And that's debatable."
Harry raised his eyebrows. "I'm better than you," he said. "Remember our match last month?"
Draco glared at him. "You played dirty," he said.
"And you didn't?" Harry asked.
Draco huffed and waved a hand. "We were off our game," he said. "Some of us have more important things to do during the summer than play some stupid sport."
"First off, how dare you?" Harry accused. "Second, what were you busy with instead? Attending garden parties? Having tea with the queen?"
Draco sneered. "It's called making connections," he said. "Something you and your mongrel won't understand."
"That sounds miserable," Harry said.
"It's very important," Draco said.
"It's boring as hell," Harry said. "Where's the joy? Where's the fun?"
Draco scowled again. "I don't need to have fun to have a good time," he said.
Harry blinked. "What does that even mean?" he asked.
Draco opened his mouth to respond, but the bell to end class cut him off. Instead, he smirked. "Scintillating conversation as always, Potter," he said, and grabbed his bag. Harry groaned as Draco left the room.
"That seemed to go well," Neville said as he walked up.
Harry got up and shoved Neville. "Fuck off," he said. "Gods, I hate that guy."
Neville snorted. "You don't say," he said. "But I have to say, you almost seemed to be enjoying yourself there."
Harry turned to Neville. "You take that back right now!" he said. "I'll never enjoy talking to that prick."
"Methinks the lady doth protest too much," Hermione said airily as she walked by.
Harry furrowed his brow. "What does that mean?" he asked. Neville shrugged.
"She thinks you have the hots for Draco," Tracy said as she fell into step with Harry and Neville.
Harry gagged and Neville laughed. "Really?" Neville asked.
Tracy laughed. "Yeah," she said and they left the room. "She said so during our talk. She said it's clear you two have unresolved sexual tension, whatever that means."
"Gods damn it," Harry said. "Why does everyone think I'm shagging people I hate?"
Neville laughed, but Tracy looked thoughtful. "You know, the talk of you and Riddle has died down," she said. "But apparently people saw you and Finch-Fletchley disappear into a classroom on Sunday."
"Fuck," Harry said and turned to Neville. "I told him that would happen."
Tracy laughed. "Hey," she said and shoved Harry lightly. "Maybe we just see something in you that you don't." Harry glared at her and she laughed again. Then she looked down a corridor and saw Daphne. "I'll see you guys later."
Harry watched her go. "I fucking hate Slytherins," he said. Daphne looked down the hall and saw Harry looking. He turned away.
"All Slytherins?" Neville asked with a grin.
"Shut up," Harry said and walked away.
###########
October 6, 1997
Neville and Ron were bored. It was Saturday afternoon – that morning they had had Quidditch practice, but after Seamus had disappeared with Lavender and Dean had disappeared with some other girl. They had no idea where Harry was. They lounged on some chairs in the common room.
"Want to play chess?" Ron asked.
"No point," Neville said. "You'll win."
"You don't know that," Ron said. Neville raised his eyebrows and Ron sighed
"How about cards," Neville suggested.
"Just the two of us?" Ron asked.
"There's also…" Neville said and scanned the room. "Colin?"
Ron looked over to the small sixth year – who was setting up an ink well and quill for macro lens photography. "Fuck that," he said.
"He's not so bad," Neville said.
Ron snorted. "He'll stop the game every three seconds to take a photo," he said.
"Fine," Neville said. "What about –"
He was interrupted by Dean storming into the room and plopping down on the couch between them. "I hate this school," he said.
Ron snorted. "Did you get caught in another broom closet?" he asked.
"No," Dean grumbled. "Flitwick got me a wall."
"For your mural?" Neville asked. Dean nodded. "That's great, right?"
"It would be if this place wasn't so bloody rubbish," Dean said. Neville raised his eyebrows and glanced at Ron. Dean sighed. "He gave me a wall down the sixth floor east by north east corridor."
Ron frowned. "I don't think I've ever been down there," he said.
"Exactly," Dean said. "No one has. No one goes down there. It's a bullshit part of the castle. It's drafty, and dark, and fuckin' bullshit."
"So what are you going to do?" Ron asked.
"I'm going to put up my fuckin' mural, I guess," Dean said and sank into the couch. "What are you wankers up to?"
"Nothing," Ron said. "There's nothing to do right now."
Dean smirked. "Don't you have a couple Ravenclaws to woo?" he asked.
Neville sighed. "I don't know if Luna's interested," he said.
"Not with that attitude she won't be," Dean said and turned to Ron. "How about you? Why aren't you putting the moves on Granger?"
Ron groaned and sank into his chair. "I wouldn't even know where to find her," he said.
"I'd try the library," Dean said with a laugh. Ron glared at him. "Fine, be that way."
The three boys fell into silence, then Ron sighed again. "Can I ask you guys something?" he asked. Dean and Neville looked up at him. "How do you think practice went today?"
Dean and Neville glanced at each other and shrugged. "It went fine," Neville said.
"It was practice, mate," Dean said. "Kind of hard to mess up."
Ron nodded, then got up. "I'm going to do some homework," he said. "I'll be in the library."
###########
October 10, 1997
"…And thus their souls are forever trapped in an agonizing 'Hell Dimension', even after the body, or 'flesh cage', is destroyed," Riddle said and underlined the words 'Hell Dimension' on the blackboard. He turned back around to face the pale, sickly looking class and smiled. "Now, we are about to start our final round of one-on-one discussions. After these five classes, this time will instead be set aside for round table discussion. I suggest you use this time to hash out any conflicts you have with each other." He looked significantly at Draco as he said this, who scoffed. "Same order as before. Begin."
Harry got up and walked over to Tracy's table. He knew better than to expect her to move. "Tracy," he said.
"Potter," she said with a nod. Harry snorted and Tracy looked at him. "What?"
"Nothing," Harry said and shook his head. "Just, why do you Slytherins only call people by their last names?" Tracy raised her eyebrows. "We've known each other for seven years, you should know my first name. It's Harry, by the way."
Tracy rolled her eyes. "Thanks," she said. "It's part of the culture." Harry raised his eyebrows, Tracy sighed. "A lot of the students in my house come from 'proper' wizard families. It's part of their rules of conduct that you only refer to friends and families by their given names."
Harry gasped and placed a hand on his chest. "We're not friends?" he asked.
Tracy laughed. "Sorry, Potter," she said.
"Hold on," Harry said. "I thought you said your family was pretty low-key. Why do you do it, too?"
Tracy shrugged. "Like I said, it's part of the culture," she said. "I guess I picked it up."
"Huh," Harry said. "Weird."
"Is it?" Tracy asked. "All the houses have this pressure to conform." Harry raised his eyebrows. "How else would you explain why every Ravenclaw is a genius? Or how every Hufflepuff is just oh so swell?"
Harry laughed. "And Gryffindor?" he asked.
Tracy grinned. "Arrogant pricks, the lot of you," she said.
"I resent that," Harry said. "I was an arrogant prick long before I was a Gryffindor."
Tracy shook her head. "You're practically the poster boy for the house," she said. "The only way you'd be more Gryffindor is if you were actually a lion." Harry laughed and looked down. Tracy raised her eyebrows. "What is it?"
Harry shook his head. "Nothing," he said.
Tracy looked at him. "Hey, Potter," she said and pointed a finger between them. "Trust talk, remember. Now tell me or I'll tell Riddle."
Harry laughed. "That's not trust, Tracy," he said. "That's blackmail."
Tracy smiled innocently. "Is there a difference?" she asked. "Now spill, why do you look like your krup died?"
Harry sighed. "Just, your comment about the lion, it reminded me of animagus," he said.
"So?" Tracy asked.
"So, when I got in trouble last week, McGonagall stopped my training," Harry said.
Tracy raised her eyebrows. "You were training for that? Why?" she asked. "Sure, it's cool and all, but it's a lot of work."
Harry looked around and leaned in conspiratorially. "What I'm about to say does not leave this table, alright?" he said. "I mean it, people could get into serious trouble." He frowned. "Maybe."
Tracy nodded. "Yeah, got it," she said.
"Promise?"
"Promise."
"Right," Harry said and ran a hand through his hair. "My dad and godfather were animagus. They did it while they were in school, on the down low. My godfather registered years later – lied about it. My dad…" He shook his head. "He never got the chance."
Tracy looked at him. "So now you want to do it," she said.
Harry nodded and looked away. "I never really got to know him," he said. "I was so young when…" He shook his head again. "But I grew up hearing these stories about him, and the animagus was a big part of those. It just – it feels like a way I can connect with him."
"Oh?" Tracy asked.
Harry sighed again. "I get the punishment, and I accept it," he said. "Just… it sucks, you know?"
Tracy nodded, then frowned. "Why did they do it?" she asked. "It's incredibly dangerous, very illegal, and a whole lot of work. Why would they bother?"
Harry looked around again to make sure no one was listening in. "A friend of theirs is a werewolf," he said. Tracy's eyes widened. "Yeah, I know. But don't worry, he's a great guy. Practically raised me. Anyway, they figured werewolves don't attack animals, so they could be with him during the full moon."
Tracy nodded and looked thoughtful. "Did it work?" she asked.
Harry blinked. "Well, yeah," he said. "Remus said it was the best transformations he ever had."
The bell rang to end the period and Tracy got up. "I have to go," she said. She left the room before anyone else. Neville walked up to Harry.
"Why's she in a rush?" Neville asked.
Harry shrugged. "Who knows," he said.
###############
October 16, 1997
It was a sunny day after a week of rain, and Harry and Ron were walking back to the castle from Creatures. They were chatting about Quidditch, when Ron glanced towards the lake and saw Hermione under a tree, her face buried in a book. Harry noticed Ron looking at the Ravenclaw and nudged Ron.
"Go on, mate," Harry said. "Just talk to her."
Ron was about to argue, but instead nodded. "See you in Charms," he said and walked towards Hermione.
Ron wasn't one hundred percent sure when he started to notice Hermione, but he expected it was a moment like this – with her in her head in a book, biting her lip in concentration as her brilliant mind was trying to wrap itself around some concept that no one else in the school had even heard of. The girl was scary smart, and, though he didn't get her passion for the rules, he admired her passion. Also he liked her face and butt.
"Hey Hermione," he said. She looked up and raised her eyebrows. "How's it going?"
"Ron," she said with a nod and raised her book. It was some advanced Transfiguration text – more advanced than the textbook, she must've gotten it direct from McGonagall or Flitwick. "Just reading. How about you?"
Ron shrugged and glanced back towards the forest. "Coming back from Creatures," he said.
Hermione closed her book. "I heard you're studying gryphons," she said. "I'm a bit jealous. They sound fascinating."
Ron grinned. "Yeah, they're great little guys," he said and nodded. Then he looked back down at her. "You want to go see them?"
Hermione frowned. "They're in the forest," she said.
"Yeah," Ron said.
"The Forbidden Forest," Hermione said and raised her eyebrows.
"Oh, right," Ron said and looked down. "But you're head girl, right? Can't you, you know, unforbidden it?"
Hermione laughed and shook her head. "I'm not going to abuse my authority like that," she said.
"Fine," Ron said. "We'll talk to Hagrid." He pointed to the giant professor, who was walking back to the castle. He started walking towards Hagrid, and was pleased to see Hermione get up and follow – though she did looked kind of annoyed. "Hey Hagrid, mind if we see the cubs?"
Hagrid smiled beneath his beard and looked down at them. "Sure, they like ye fine," he said, and nodded at Hermione. "Hermione, how are you?"
Hermione smiled. "I'm good, Professor Hagrid," she said. "And yourself?"
"Can't complain," Hagrid said with a chuckle. "I'm headed to the castle. I'll see ye two."
Hagrid walked towards the castle, and Hermione looked at Ron. "He seems to like you," she said.
Ron smiled. "Yeah, he's good people," he said. "Helped me out a few times with Filch." Hermione snorted and shook her head. "Come on."
Hermione followed him into the forest, and by the time they reached the perimeter of the gryphon paddock, she was sweating slightly. Ron paused. "Alright, so keep on your toes in here," he said. "They like me fine, but I'd guess they're a bit skittish around strangers." Hermione nodded. They headed in and stopped in the rocky clearing.
Immediately, a gryphon cub appeared at the tree line. The cubs had grown a bit over the past month, but they still had the downy feathers. The cub sniffed the air and approached slowly. Ron hunched down and held out a hand. The cub let out a chirp and gamboled over playfully. Ron laughed.
"Hey Tupac," he said and pet the cub. "How's my little buddy? Where's Biggie?"
Hermione raised her eyebrows. "Tupac and Biggie?" she asked.
"Muggle rappers," Ron explained. "From America."
"Oh, I'm quite aware," Hermione said, and reached a hand out for the cub. Tupac sniffed it and let out another chirp.
Ron nodded. "Right, you're muggleborn," he said and laughed. "Completely forgot."
Hermione withdrew her hand quickly and Tupac hissed. She narrowed her eyes. "Oh?" she asked. "Because I know so much about magic?"
Ron furrowed his brow and tried to calm Tupac down. "What? No – I just, I didn't think about it," he said. "You just… Hermione."
Hermione nodded. "Right," he said.
"Sorry," Ron said. Hermione let out a breath and started petting Tupac again. Biggie started approaching them. "It must be tough – dealing with that." Hermione nodded. "Want to talk about it?"
Hermione pet Tupac some more and started talking into space. "My problems aren't… unique," she said. "I get these jerks with their prejudices, just like any other muggleborn." She shook her head. "Sometimes what actually feels worse is how condescending some people get about it. 'Oh, you're so smart, top of the class, so good for a muggleborn'." She sighed. "And I get people assuming it's the reason I try so hard."
Ron nodded and ran a hand through his hair. "Merlin," he said. "I'd guess there's a lot of pressure, too."
"Like you wouldn't believe," Hermione admitted. "There are a lot of people waiting for me to fail." Ron nodded and Biggie nudged his arm. "Thanks for bringing me to see them. They are beautiful."
Ron smiled and Biggie chirped happily.
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October 20, 1997
It was a cool Saturday morning and Harry sat in the Quidditch stands. Below him, Ron was leading the team in a drill. His heart tugged as the sound of laughter drifted up, and he recast the warming charm on himself. He sighed and looked back down on his Transfiguration text, but became aware of a presence behind him. He turned around and saw Professor Riddle taking a seat. The old man nodded at him.
"Mr. Potter," Riddle said.
"Professor," Harry said, respectfully and turned back to his book.
"I thought I would find you here," Riddle said. Harry sighed slightly. "Do you miss it?"
Harry snorted. "Not at all," he said. "I just like the view."
"As do I," Riddle said, either not noticing or, more likely, not acknowledging Harry's sarcasm. "The castle is spectacular, is it not?"
Harry shrugged and looked towards Hogwarts – from there, you could see the towers framed against the mountains and the cold sky, and the wind-tossed lake glinting in the morning sun. "I suppose," he said.
Riddle chuckled drily. "Mr. Potter," he said. "I realize I never apologized to you."
Harry sighed and turned around. "Seems a bit late now, yeah?" he asked.
"Be that is it may," Riddle said. "I am sorry. I may have been a bit… extreme in my test."
Harry stared at Riddle blankly. "You put me in a room full of the corpses of my best friends," he said.
Riddle smiled slightly. "Maybe more than a bit," he said. "Do you understand why I did it?"
"Not really," Harry said with a shrug. "I know you wanted to see if I'd go dark, but why show me that?"
"As opposed to the simple interviews I gave your classmates?" Riddle asked. Harry nodded. "I thought I made my methodology clear – your classmates joined my class because it is necessary for their ambitions. You, however, did not."
"And I explained myself," Harry said. "Merlin, sir, I haven't been able to get that shit out of my head. It – it sneaks up on me, when I least expect it. I hide it, but…"
"Hence my apology," Riddle said. "I really am sorry." Harry nodded and turned back to his book, but Riddle wasn't done. "There is a reason why I used such extreme measures to test you."
"I suppose you're going to tell me instead of letting me do homework in peace," Harry said.
"Very astute, Mr. Potter," Riddle said. Harry sighed again and closed his book. "You remind me much of myself at your age – confident, talented, more or less directionless, and a certain disrespect for the rules." He smiled slightly. "But there's something you have that I never did."
Harry raised his eyebrows. "Yeah?" he asked.
Riddle nodded towards the pitch. "That," he said.
Harry frowned. "Quidditch?" he asked.
Riddle chuckled. "No, Mr. Potter," he said. "The team. Your friends. Those that follow you." Harry raised his eyebrows. "I can see it in the way you interact with them – if I had to guess, I'd say there are very few people you don't care about, in some way or another. And they see that, and they reciprocate."
Harry scoffed. "Your point, professor?" he asked.
"I will never say your love is a weakness, but it would be irresponsible of me not to attempt to show you that your convictions can lead you to the darkness," Riddle said. Harry nodded and turned back to the Gryffindor practice. "You know, I never had that – that love you share with your fellow students." Harry looked back at the Professor, confused. "I had friends, and allies, but can I look back now and say I truly loved any of them?" Riddle sighed and suddenly looked years older. "If I were to test myself the same way I tested you – if I were to attempt to see if I would go dark – it would not be with any mutilated bodies." He shook his head. "I would be gaining control over those that had wronged me. That was my temptation – is my temptation."
Harry blinked. "Professor," he said softly.
Riddle stood up. "Your love is a strength, Mr. Potter," he said. "But it can also be used against you and, if you let it, it can make you do terrible things. That is what I wanted to show you."
Riddle started to walk away. "Professor," Harry said. Riddle turned around. "What happened to you?" Riddle raised his eyebrows. "I mean, I'm not complaining, but why didn't you go dark?"
Riddle smiled. "A very wise teacher of mine," he said. "Good day, Mr. Potter."
Harry nodded and turned back to his book – his eyes never seemed to figure out how to focus on the words.
