July, Part II

All things considered, Katie thought it best to postpone meeting Karen face to face until she had the facts on her side. She made her getaway by means of her office's side exit, allowing Adele to make her excuses. A performance bonus is more than in order for her this year. She was going to have to dip into her own salary to justify the expense.

Katie met Ridge at their favorite rendezvous spot in the park.

He was seated near to the foot of the amphitheater where the three-piece band went about the business of filling the air with song. She let the easy beats be a balm on her frazzled nerves. Her troubles seemed to fade into the background with each step she took toward the round.

Will was hale and each day growing stronger and handsomer. She was starting to make a lasting mark on Spencer Publications. A position that had once been something of a war prize was becoming a job she was proud to do. This wasn't Bill's company alone, this was their legacy to leave to their son. That Katie now got to contribute to that gave her a sense of accomplishment matched only by bringing Will into the world.

She aspired to be a woman her son could look up to. And she felt she was getting there.

Ridge checked his watch, bringing to mind Katie's approaching appointment.

She found her thoughts tended to grow light and optimistic, and not a little forgetful, when she laid eyes on Ridge. As sappy as it was to think, he had awoken the believer in her. The healing capacity of love was real.

She eased onto the bleachers a couple of rows up from Ridge's turned back.

"Don't you get tired of being so handsome?"

He glanced at her over his shoulder, a twist of humor at the corner of his mouth.

"You ever get sick of being that damned breathtaking?"

Katie rolled her shoulders, all too aware of the heat of his scrutiny.

"I can't say it bothers me."

He fixed her with a long, consuming stare of a cursed man who'd at long last rediscovered his luck and never intended to let it go. She'd never tire of being looked at that way.

Ridge beckoned her to come down to his level, hand outstretched.

"You're too far away. Sit with me."

Katie let him guide her over the stone benches separating them. Heels weren't the most practical attire for impromptu hikes, but she managed to make it to the sanctuary of his side unhurt.

She folded her leg under her to settle on the stone bench he'd claimed for his own.

Ridge eyed their positions.

"Why're you all the way over there?"

"If I were any closer, I'd be in your lap."

He skimmed a knuckle up her thigh.

"See, that sounds like an excellent idea to me."

"Not that you have ulterior motives for getting your hands on me."

"Ulterior? I thought I was being obvious."

"You're an enigma. I can never tell exactly what's happening in that head of yours." She slid her fingers up the back of his neck in his hair, smoldering at his admonishing rumble.

"You're saying I should make my motives a bit more explicit," he retorted, rendering the word filthy with unspoken intent. This was the crux of their affair. Each and every declaration of love was met by a mutual respect was nourished by an uninhibited craving for each other. Portioning out loving Ridge from lusting after him from needing him as part of her life wasn't happening. This was one relationship where she was permitted to have it all. And she wanted it all, all the time.

"I'm saying you're doing a lot of talking for a man of action."

Ridge took up his favored pastime of tracing images onto her body. He made the flare of her hip his page, drawing tight circles and whorls that strayed under the hem of her top.

"What are you designing this time?"

"I can't tell you that. If I told you, I'd have to kiss you."

Katie braced herself on his thigh and leant up to brush their lips together softly, the kiss little more than hint of a promised touch.

"I…"

"Shh."

She grazed his mouth with hers, lightly skimming the hard edge of her teeth along his lower lip.

"Katie." His voice had grown husky, dumbstruck.

"Shh."

He followed her progress, trying to capture her lips with his, but couldn't quite catch her to stop her, didn't quite seem to want her to stop. The trail of languid kisses she blazed under his jaw was met with equal surrender, save a sudden clinch of his fingers at her waist when her lips met his fluttering pulse.

When their eyes met, she discovered that Ridge's gaze, dark by nature, had grown darker still. I'll never get sick of that.

Katie grabbed his lapels and drew him down into a languorous kiss.

He deepened the contact, flicking the single button of her blazer loose to slide his hand inside and press between her shoulders. Like a warm fire in an ice storm, he wanted her closer. She was the same, inching over till she was all but in his lap. Ridge pulled her the rest of the way, cradling her face as she made herself comfortable in his arms. When they kissed, they kissed with their whole bodies, lips were just a start.

A gruff cough brought Katie and Ridge back to themselves, and to the park. She didn't try to pinpoint its origin; the message had come through loud and clear. Katie wasn't one to act out, but she had no intention of being cowed by strangers.

They parted unhurriedly of their own accord, Katie sliding off her lap, only a jot sheepish.

"Tell me."

Ridge huffed, "I can't remember. God, I can't, I can't remember." He wet his lips, intent as he was on hers. "You're still trouble. You're gonna ruin my reputation and get me arrested for public indecency, because I swear if you kiss me like that again in public, I can't be held responsible for my actions."

Katie stroked the side of his neck.

"And what actions do you have in mind?"

He cupped her cheek.

"Je vais vous faire hurler pour moi." He kissed each corner of her mouth. "Look that up and get back to me."

She nodded dumbly, more aroused than she'd been with his hands all over her. Ridge's voice had the power to devastate with hello. French hadn't been in the cards.

She made a valiant effort to put her recollection of Ridge's rasping command to bed. Don't think about beds. Katie's imagination was a breeding ground of bad—marvelous—ideas in proximity to Ridge Forrester. Kissing him in full view of the public was asking for more media coverage she didn't need, yet the compulsion to do so outweighed her fear of the risks. I signed on for this. Love shouldn't be a secret. If only her lust didn't feel so obvious.

Ridge squeezed her knee.

"You look like you could do with a cool down. I got you something."

Ridge reached down to the level below to retrieve a paper cup that he promptly offered to her. It was startlingly blue raspberry Italian ice, which she was only too glad to take off his hands in the heat of the day.

"It's sort of melted now, but it got hot while I was waiting and it made me think of you."

"What did I do to deserve this special treat?" Katie sampled a tangy mouthful using the handy red spoon sticking out of the candied mound and hummed her bliss, feeling calmer at once. There were days when her life was rife with a baker's dozen tiny treasures. Ridge remembering her love of Italian ice was today's number four.

"You called."

"You're moving up in my speed dial."

"There's more where that came from." He moved the icy confection aside to kiss her once again. She noticed belatedly how he tasted of tropical fruit and lemon zest, and poked at him accusingly.

"You had two!"

"Prove it."

Katie initiated another kiss, purely for investigative purposes. She had to get to the bottom of this mystery.

"Mango. Lemons."

She could just about tear her eyes from his lips.

"That's not proof."

"Maybe not, but it's a good enough excuse to keep kissing you."

"You don't need an excuse. You have an express invitation."

"Damn right."

The band struck up a sensual, twanging ballad as he dipped her backward to resume their earlier activities.

Ridge's phone vibrated against her ribs inside his jacket. He grunted. Work never ends, she thought, petulant.

"I should let you go. You're probably as busy as I am." She was unenthused about the workload sure to await her at home.

Ridge swept his hand down her side, alighting every nerve in his wake.

"There's no rush. Forrester is chugging along fine without me."

"Is this about Rick? You two still haven't made up?"

Ridge swiped a spoonful of melting raspberry ice.

"You can't really make up with a guy you've never gotten along with. Conflict is normal for us."

Katie readjusted her posture to sit hip to hip with him.

"What happened this time?"

"Rick and I had it out in the boardroom because I want to be president. I want to be president, he wants me to go to hell. You can imagine how productive that meeting was."

"What did Eric say?"

"That Rick had done a good job acting as steward in my absence and he was proud of his accomplishments. Next he mentioned some of the work I did at International that Rick didn't know about. He said he was proud of his sons and wanted us to get along for the sake of the company legacy. 'Ambition should unite us, not divide us.'"

"Pithy," Katie granted. "He didn't want to choose between his sons. I don't blame him. Can you?"

"There's a big part of me that feels like Rick's in my way. I'm the heir apparent, the firstborn—that should be my job."

"Rick's earned some credit."

"Even after the way he talked to you at the gala?"

"That's a separate issue. He's my nephew, regardless of whether Brooke and I are getting along. Moreover, he makes Caroline happy. He supports her work, he loves her. She feels secure now that they're together and expecting a baby, and that's what I care about. As long as I let him do all the talking, I get to meet my grand-niece or –nephew. I don't care what he says, I know the truth. It wasn't destiny that brought us together; it's what we chose."

"Yes, it was. I'm just not sure how long I can keep this up at FC."

"What's the alternative?" Katie recalled the employee boilerplate contract from her time as CEO. "There's still the non-compete clause to work around if you decide to resign."

"Resignation isn't much of an option, but if I get fired, the possibilities are endless. Involuntary termination voids the non-compete. I spoke to Carter about it."

"You want to get fired intentionally from your family company?"

"It's not that I want to; I'm not sure there's another way out."

"Eric might be willing to buy out your employee contract."

"Once I ask to be released from my non-compete that talk will break down."

"He'd take it personally."

"That's why I gotta get fired. We make it a clean break and go to our separate corners to cool off and we're playing happy family again by the holidays. Call it a risk of doing business." Ridge inspected his hands. "That's if my brother doesn't find out. If Rick cops to this, he'll keep me under his thumb designing knee socks until I'm seventy. I won't make it."

Katie pulled his hand into her lap. His nimbler fingers intuitively entwined with hers.

"These kinds of decisions can't be unmade. This borders on chicanery and I'm not sure you can come back from it if going it alone doesn't work out."

"Maybe it's time for me to make that kind of choice. Nothing is ever permanent as it stands, everything inevitably snaps back to how it was. Something must change for good and maybe I'm it."

"What did Carter have to say?"

"He suggested I watch my step."

Ridge raised her hand to his lips to kiss each of her fingers one by one.

"That's the best advice you could take under the circumstances. What else?"

"Short version, he advised me to shut my mouth and let whatever would happen, happen. Some of the language is fuzzy enough that I could still be sued for breach of contract if it was found that I'd arranged my own termination by 'dishonest means or manipulation.'"

"Eric wouldn't go through with a suit against you, he's your father."

"Rick's my brother and he's just waiting for his first chance to shove me out the door." Ridge rubbed his eyes. "He's about to get his best shot."

"But what happened today? I can see that it's bothering you."

"You haven't told me about your day yet."

Katie continued eating her fruity confection with gusto. With only two things in her favor at present, she intended to enjoy both to the fullest.

"Now that I'm with you, my day is looking up."

"I have that kind of power over you?"

Katie scrunched her nose. "I pride myself on trying to stand alone and keep my own counsel. That's a lonely, sometimes, oftentimes fruitless endeavor. Whatever anyone might say, this is good for me. If our life were a heavyweight fight, you'd be my coach, telling me to keep swinging and to get up no matter how many times I got knocked down. That's what you do to me."

"That's what you've been for me for much longer than you can comprehend. You look at me sometimes like you think I'm about to change my mind. You're waiting on what feels inevitable. I get that, I won't tell you to stop; that's not my right. Just…if it were possible to describe the power you have over me, I don't know what I'd run out of first, words or breath. That's what you do to me."

Loving him more was nigh on impossible. How had they gotten to this point so soon?

Katie handed over her Italian ice. "All yours."

"Thanks. Maybe number three's the charm."

"Tell me what happened."

"I made a rookie mistake—I let my ego outmatch my good sense and made a stupid power play without shoring up support."

Ridge's attempted coups were the stuff of Forrester legend.

"That must have gone over well."

"Brooke wasn't happy."

"Why was Brooke at Forrester? I thought she had been banished to the catacombs for being a walking scandal."

Ridge outlined how the meeting had gone, giving special attention to Brooke's display of maternal offense. Katie got a brain freeze from the combined effects of Italian ice and her sister's timely moral outrage.

"You probably could have planned that better."

"To say the least." He looked at her out of the corner of his eye. "You think I'm kind of a spoiled brat, don't you?"

"I didn't say that," she rushed to clarify ahead of his blooming smirk.

"I am. I'm used to being the favored son and that's made me cocky. I'll be paying for that."

"Eric wasn't trying to punish you."

"You haven't heard the best part. Get this. Dad's solution to Rick's insecurity and Brooke's worries was to make us co-vice presidents."

"That…seems a fair compromise." And utterly doomed to fail. Rick and Ridge shared no common ground other than their father and the company each had dedicated their lives to.

"We're going to kill each other at this rate."

"There's a good chance since you and Rick hate each other."

Ridge fidgeted on the bench.

"I don't mean me and Rick, I mean me and Brooke. Dad brought in a ringer; Brooke's my new co-VP."

Katie's Italian ice was no longer so appetizing, even on Ridge's lips.

"Be joking."

"I'm not that funny."

"Eric—he can't be serious. Why Brooke? Why not Rick? Why not Caroline?"

"You're not gonna like it."

"I already don't like it. How could I like it less?"

"Dad wants me and Brooke back together. He feels like we're the future of Forrester, her and me."

And here I thought Eric liked me.

"Do you agree with him?"

"We're the history of Forrester in some ways, not the future. My future is with you."

"What does Brooke think about Eric's decision?" Katie could guess.

"She laughed. I didn't think it was funny. It was a little insulting, having my own father try to bribe me like I don't have a mind of my own. I didn't just fall in love with you, I chose to be with you. Suddenly my choices aren't good enough to satisfy my father."

"He's doing what he thinks is right." Katie disagreed with his thoughts, not that she had any business weighing in, despite her twitchy thumb dying to dial Eric's number.

"It's not right for Forrester. He hasn't consulted me and doesn't seem to give a damn what I think or what I want. I didn't expect that."

"I'm sorry he let you down."

"It's not forever. An arrangement like this isn't tenable. Brooke will block me at every turn. Rick will help her. My hands are tied."

She leaned against his shoulder.

"You staged a failed coup. How's it feel?"

"Like failure. Not that great."

Katie sat up to give him a second look. He was annoyed, sure, but she'd seen him angrier.

"You don't sound as upset as I thought you would."

"I'm a firm believer in always having a backup plan." Ridge hummed, contemplative. "It also never hurts to have a lawyer in your corner."

Bill's not the only man in my life with a plan.

Katie phone sounded an alarm. She didn't have to look at the screen to know what time it was. She clicked on the power button to put the phone to sleep.

"I approve of that choice and I'm looking forward to hearing the details of whatever you have up your sleeve. On that note, I have to be going. I have a doctor's appointment. Karen's using my office, so I won't have to worry about rushing, but I'd like to get this over with and get back to my day."

"Nothing too serious, I hope."

"Nothing at all. It's a routine checkup. They like to see about my heart from time to time to be sure it's ticking along the way it's supposed to."

Ridge touched the neckline of her blouse where it covered her transplant scar.

"Stormie's heart is your heart now. His love for you combined with your zest for life makes it the strongest heart this town's ever seen. This'll be a piece of cake."

"Thank you."

"No problem." Ridge gave his phone a cursory scroll and then shut it off entirely with a grimace. "Could you use some company?"

Katie leaned down to retrieve her handbag from the ground where it had fallen earlier.

"At the doctor? Why would you want to spend an afternoon in a doctor's office? You could be sketching."

"I'm an artist. Have paper, will sketch. I don't need my office for that. All I need is a little inspiration."

Katie pressed her body against his.

"I'd hate for you to bite off more than you can chew."

That look again. Ridge regarded her in thorough assessment.

"Nah, I think you're just right."

Ridge and Katie travelled to the doctor's office together in companionable silence, each preoccupied with their phones. Liam was giving her a continual byplay of the Spencer subversion plot. How many negative. How many positive. Who and when. Katie's vision blurred from staring at the ultra-bright screen.

Upon pulling up outside the medical center, Katie cut off her phone out of habit.

"You don't have to sit with me, Ridge. This probably won't be much fun for you."

There was paperwork to complete, a checkup, the inevitable intrusive questions. Will he want to come in? Am I ready to share that much of my life with him?

He hoisted a shoulder in a lack of concern. "I'm where I want to be."

"You're supposed to be pitching your new line today, not sitting in a doctor's office with me."

"Caroline and Aly can handle it. It's a done deal. This is just a first concept get together."

This was ineffective at allaying Katie's concern.

"That sounds important."

"I left my sketches in their capable hands. Defiant is a-go."

"Where did you come up with that name? You didn't have one last month."

"The models walked the first dozen sample ensembles yesterday. It was a perfect run-through. I couldn't have asked for better. They all looked cool and calm and confident. They had attitude, had a bit of give 'em hell in them. They reminded me of you."

Katie's ensuing chuckle was joyless.

"You can't be serious. I don't give anybody hell."

"You gave Steffy three kinds on Hope's behalf and Bill the same on your own. You're capable of it."

Katie swallowed, ill at ease.

"The entire Steffy affair was far from my finest hour." In back of her mind, she kept a running tally of what topics she simply could not discuss and Steffy with Bill was on it, forget the Steffy and Liam affair. "I doubt it was hers either."

"Nobody came out of that smelling of roses. Love, lust, family loyalty—all of it will make you crazy if you let it."

"Is that what this feeling is? That explains everything about me."

"Not the best parts of you. That's just how you're artfully made."

"That's a line if I've ever heard one. You make it all sound real."

"I'll confess it's a line, that doesn't mean it's not real. The meaning's as real as you or me."

Just sometimes, I wonder. Katie touched his chest.

"I want to share all of this with you," she waved toward the building and the car where they sat. "My health, my odds, all of what I live with every day. But I don't think I'm there yet. There are things I haven't wrapped my head around yet, and I'm not quite ready to share it all with anyone."

"Okay."

"That doesn't mean I don't love you."

"That thought never crossed my mind." He caught her hand where it rested over his heart. "There's stuff I'm keeping close, too. That's not a lack of love. Sometimes, it's love that makes us hold more back. That's fine. That's yours. Someday, it'll be mine, too."

"I really do love you."

"I love you—more than life itself."

What made the progress of their love unnerving was that these words rung true. Katie, whose very ears had been honed by deception, could not detect any. She didn't question the presence of love; she questioned how long it would remain.

"Wait with me?"

"It would be my pleasure."

Katie exited the car first with Ridge right behind her. They walked into the doctor's office hand in hand, and that was the way they left two hours later.

….

After saying goodbye to Ridge, Katie picked up Will from the Spencer daycare center and headed home for another afternoon of quality time with her favorite boy. Something about a clean bill of health made her want to roll around on the playmat having tickle fights with her son.

Dinner was SpaghettiOs for the young sir and chicken carbonara, delivered from Bombay Osteria, for her. She and her baby boy toasted her good health with wine and apple juice, respectively, and then settled in for an early night of Baby Einstein and the Bloomberg Report. They were both dozing well ahead of Will's scheduled bedtime.

Once Will was down for the count, Katie resigned to bed with a stack of articles Liam and Adele had messengered to the house covering the last two quarters of her tenure.

'Progress or Pipedream? Is Spencer's New CEO Tackling Too Much Too F?'

In an economy rife with layoffs and cutbacks, industry insiders are asking whether Spencer Publications' new head is taking the right stance against falling profits. Reducing layoffs that cut wide swaths in the Spencer workforce to save families and reduce unemployment is enough to bring a tear to any American voter's eye, but is it enough to save a business in jeopardy that might not be were it in more ruthless hands? Say the hands of one Bill 'Dolla Bill' Spencer, Jr., the disgraced but not forgotten former CEO and heir to the Spencer empire.

Experts say that Spencer must make a quick turnaround or risk a capital freefall from which the media conglomerate may not recover and not even a man called Dolla can fix. Are the experts right or are they just 'crying wolf'?

Only time, and the bottom line, will tell.'

Katie swished a mouthful of Merlot. This was her third article so far. The previous two had focused on the public progress of her friendship with Ridge to the exclusion of her business interests, which was a problem, if not one she was overly concerned of. This heelturn was problematic.

Katie tossed back her sheets and made for the kitchen. She was going to need more wine.

'Is this Feminism financially fatal?'

Babies in the workplaces. Playpen in the corner office. Is this the sort of example we want to set for working mothers to come? If you ask Katie Logan Spencer, the new reigning CEO of the Spencer Publications, the answer is 'hell yes.' Logan Spencer is doing her level best to have it all; the big chair, the baby, and the handsome new lover, but can she handle it?

Trusted insiders within the multimedia giant say no. Logan Spencer isn't suited for the brutal chore of taking the sickest of the Spencer herd to the woodshed to be put out of their misery—in the words of one source.

Her predecessor and former husband Bill Spencer, Jr. is well-known for his no-nonsense approach to profiteering. This includes a relentless, unwritten policy of terminating longstanding employees just before their pensions are to be a paid and issuing ironclad employee contracts that preclude legal recourse in the event of allegations of wrongful termination. Though unpopular moves, these initiatives have kept Spencer Publications as the foremost earning in the publishing industry for the last decade. Until Katie Logan Spencer's appointment to the position.

The addition of a fully-equipped childcare center to the headquarters of Spencer Publication's Los Angeles branch has caused more than one raised eyebrow among her professional peers. Watercooler chatter seems to imply that Logan Spencer has bitten off more than she can chew between her young son, her impetuous beau, and questionable health status, and the proof is in the profit margin. Where other corporate working mothers of the industry should be rallying behind her, there's been an ominous silence, leading some to question whether Logan Spencer is being set up as a martyr to the cause of modern feminists the world over.

Some women can do everything a man does backwards and in heels and some cannot. Which one is Katie?

Katie tossed the entire pile onto the empty side of the bed. The gist of the media narrative was becoming clear to her; this was a takedown that hit where it hurt. She could acknowledge that she was spread thin. She didn't see as much of Will as she'd like. She didn't get as much time to sleep or to eat or to see Ridge and RJ as would have been ideal. Those were sacrifices she was willing to accept in exchange for doing a job that made her proud to go to work. Failing didn't make her feel proud, though that was all interpretation and those were all fouled up as evidenced by each of these thinly-veiled criticisms of her performance.

I've done well. I've done the best I can. I'll make them see that, and if it's my last act as chief executive of this company, so be it. Katie held back tears of frustration. She could bear failing; it was being cut off at the knees that got to her. It's never enough.

Sure that sleep would be elusive in her current mood, Katie put in a call to the one person capable of easing her mind.

It's still early.

The phone got off half a ring before he answered.

"Hi."

Ridge let out a voracious yawn. "Hey."

"Are you at home?"

"Working late. How was your night in?"

"Therapeutic and then some."

Katie covered those articles with the unused pillow on the other side of the bed.

"I'm jealous," he sniffed, a chair creaking in the background.

She was reminded of how drawn he'd looked behind that flirtatious smile of his.

"You sound beat. How have you been sleeping?"

"Not as well as I'd be sleeping with you next to me."

Katie curled up with her pillow, wishing it were him. One of his hugs would have gone a long way to clearing the dark clouds hanging over her.

"Nice save. Answer the question."

"I'm not sleeping. There's no time. We're working around the clock to update HFTF for fall/winter, and I've got my hands full prepping for awards season next year. That's not counting the Defiant line we've gotta get up and running for the buyers by next month."

Katie thought back to a wheedling text her niece had sent earlier in the day.

"You need to take care of yourself. Caroline told me about you nodding off in a meeting earlier this week. I thought you were sleeping okay."

"There aren't enough hours in the day. Now that I'm sharing the vice presidency with Brooke, I'm burning the midnight oil to keep her from blocking every other item on my agenda."

Katie remained of two minds about Ridge and Brooke working together. On the one hand, she was glad Ridge had fessed up about Eric's terms instead of hiding them for fear of her reaction. On the other, she might have slept easier not knowing. The price of honesty was the truth, and tonight it was costing her much needed rest.

"Sounds like a day in my life at Spencer. If I'm not putting out fires with the department heads, I'm on the phone with our partners, or Will's nanny, or the Board, or Bill himself on a bad day. For someone who no longer works here, he has an opinion on everything."

"I respect that. That's how I feel about Forrester whenever Rick makes a decision I disagree with. You can hear my unsolicited opinions from the next county and I only have a 20% stake."

"Your green eyes are showing."

"I'm green all over, honey."

Katie hauled her wildly protesting waking mind from the gutter.

"You've gone and made me curious."

"Don't make me drive over there."

"You're too tired to drive and I'm wearing reindeer pajamas I got as a gag gift at Christmas. Can you handle that amount of sexy on so little sleep?"

"I'd be more than willing to give it try." His ensuing yawn was not as convincing. "Betrayed by my own body once again. I tell you, aging is hell."

"You've got wisdom in every grey hair."

"You mean like the ones you're covering up every three months?"

"Don't start. Those are blonde roots. It's maintenance."

"Keeping telling yourself that. You're not that young compared to me."

Katie reflected balefully on fortieth birthday.

"I'm young at heart." Even if her heart was older than she was.

"I like how that sounds. Forget what my driver's license says. When I'm with you, I might as well be twenty-five."

"Love's funny like that."

"Love with you."

Katie hugged her pillow closer and wished once again he was beside her. She'd be wishing long into the night.

….

Katie's early night was a largely sleepless one. Even after Ridge had thrown in the towel, Katie had remained awake to pore over Liam's notes on the twisted machinations throttling Spencer by the byline. All of the articles Liam cited indicated that the sources feeding copy to the press had inside knowledge. What wasn't clear was whether that knowledge was firsthand. Spencer employed more individuals directly and indirectly than populated some sovereign nations. Picking a spy out of a number that enormous, not to mention far-flung, was akin to picking a needle out a haystack that had been scattered by a weed whacker. This is assuming we're dealing with one spy. We haven't begun to tackle a strategy for exposing multiple. The odds of Bill employing only one mole were abysmal.

Katie ground her teeth in fatigued agitation when her office door opened to admit Donna the next morning. The Brooke Amnesty parade continues. She shoved her dossier of offending material to the side, quite sure Donna hadn't shown up to be the sounding board the youngest Logan sister needed.

"Unless you're here to take me to lunch and not talk about Ridge, we're not going to have much to say to each other."

"Brooke and Hope have said their piece, right?"

"Oh, they said their respective pieces and then some. Never let it be said the Logan woman lack lung capacity."

Donna's mouth twitched. She seemed to like Katie best at her cattiest. At my most Brooke.

"Something has to change. This can't go on."

Katie strived for equanimity.

"Answer me this: Did you rake Brooke over the coals like this when the subject was Bill and I was half out of my mind afraid of losing him?"

Donna exhaled sharply.

"Brooke said she knew what she was doing. I took her word for it."

"And Brooke's feelings are the ones that matter. Not me. Forget about Will and my marriage. Brooke had decided she wanted something—to hell with anybody who got between her and her heart's desire." Katie hummed in lieu of laughing. "Her heart. Witty euphemism for our sister's man-eating libido."

"You stood by her when it was other people."

"You're right," Katie had to concede. "I have carried the Logan standard all my life long. Say I'm a liar and a hypocrite. Say I can dish it and not take it. Get it off your chest. I'm willing to listen to whatever you have to say to me."

"Sisters don't do this to each other."

Donna's unconsciously wagging finger was peculiarly galling.

"This family does it to each other constantly. Why am I the exception? Why am I conniving when Brooke's just misguided?"

"You're the upstanding one. You've always tried to do the right thing."

Once again, lobbed as a weapon against me.

"What makes this one thing so wrong?"

"Brooke has loved Ridge her whole life."

"Brooke has loved Ridge between detours and distractions, one of which was my husband. That was the man I expected to be loving and loved by at this point in my life. Bill is far from perfect, but I was confident that he was at least just mine. Brooke couldn't be satisfied with that. She had to have him, too."

"She didn't want to hurt you." Katie stared her sister down until Donna began to shift on her feet. Donna exhaled slowly. "Revenge is destructive, Katie. Getting back at her doesn't ease the hurt, it just prolongs it."

"Nothing was easing it—except for him. I was angry. I was humiliated. I was hurt deep, deep down."

"You really think this will fix it?"

Katie ignored her.

"Worse than all that is that I was so down on myself that it took me months to notice how Ridge looks at me. He doesn't look at me like I'm as unworthy as Brooke and Bill and every one of you who has told me to 'just let it go' has made me feel. He doesn't see a pale imitation of my sisters. Six months of lunch dates, flower arrangements, family outings; him holding my hand and drying my tears, confiding in me and no one else, and I was so wrapped up in my misery I almost let him slip away. What for? He doesn't want her."

"He's said that before. He cannot keep his word."

"Oh, please, Donna. Nobody in this town keeps their word! There have been long periods of time when they weren't together. Remind Brooke about Taylor and the family she and Ridge raised together. Remind her about Caroline and Ashley. Ridge has loved other women."

"Ridge has loved Brooke for most of her adult life. Are you prepared to fight her off? You know how she can be when she's following her heart."

Katie propped her chin on her hand.

"You pretend to be neutral when it comes to me and Brooke, but you always pick a side, ultimately, and it's never mine. Let's skip to the part where you tell me I'm tearing our family apart and leave it at that. I have a schedule to keep."

"I love you both. You're both my sisters. I don't want Ridge to come between us."

"Brooke did that, she destroyed our sisterhood. This is me moving on."

"You're kidding if you think there isn't any way to do this without destroying Brooke."

"I don't lie awake at night plotting to break Brooke's heart like she broke mine. I lie awake and think about Will. I think about what I'm going to tell him about why his daddy isn't home with us when he's old enough to ask. I think about how I'm going to juggle a fussy toddler entering his terrible twos with a conference I have to attend in Beijing in four months. My life is not about her. It's bigger and vaster than she can imagine, or you, apparently.

"Doing what makes Brooke happy and me miserable is not keeping the peace. That's maintaining the status quo. I refuse to do it. Do it without me."

"I'm just trying to hold it all together."

"You don't have to, that's not your place. Stop playing hall monitor and live your life. Get Eric back, see Marcus and your granddaughter more than once a month. We're not teenagers anymore, we don't need a mediator."

"Somebody has to make the two of you see sense. Look what we have to lose."

"You know, when things with Bill are really bad, I replay the last two years of my life, picking apart my every mistake, wishing I could have done just the right thing to keep my husband from sniffing after my sister like a dog in heat. I hate that I didn't fight harder to save my family from her—but I didn't know I had to fight and I was too sick, which evidently wasn't reason enough to win. That's not a mistake I'm going to make with Ridge. He and RJ and Will are my family. Brooke cannot take that."

"RJ is her son. You can't keep them apart. You'd flip if anybody to stop you from seeing Will."

"You're right, I would. I wouldn't do that to Brooke. I couldn't do that to Brooke. I'm not crazy, Donna," Katie sighed at her sister's expression. She was never allowed so much as a slip of the tongue in Brooke's world.

"Nobody would know that from how you're behaving. You need to grow up. This is not a game, these are people's lives!"

Katie slammed her hand on her desk hard enough to topple her favorite framed picture of Will.

"Let's get something straight. You don't get to talk down to me. I am not a child any longer. RJ is my nephew, he will always have a place with me so long as Ridge permits it. Brooke will not interfere with that. I will also not allow her to interfere with Bill and Will's relationship. Furthermore, she will not interfere in my relationship with Ridge."

"She's over Ridge."

"Sell it to somebody who hasn't been here. You and Hope can't seem to tell if you're coming or going any better than Brooke can. Today, she's over him. Tomorrow, I can't listen to my voicemail for all the messages she's leaving about this 'mistake' I'm making." Katie scoffed. "Save it."

"This is a mistake. She's right about that."

"You know what, maybe it is." Katie shrugged, unruffled as can be. "This is our mistake to make. I don't know where we're headed, but I am committed to seeing this through and so is he. Furthermore, we are committed to protecting our family from anyone we deem to be a threat to our happiness. Take that back to big sis and see what she has to say about it. You and Brooke don't take me seriously, Donna, but you should. I told Hope and I'm telling you: I'll fight her this time and I'll win."