A/N: You reviewer peops are so great. You're not wrong about the Literati relationship either - its coming along nicely, isn't it? And even a tragic event cannot prevent the progress! ;)
(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)
Chapter 11
Lorelai had been sat at the table a while, sipping her coffee and working her way through some inn paperwork, when Jess crossed her path.
"Refill?" he checked, waving the coffee pot in her general direction, "or did I just ask if the Pope is a Catholic?" he smirked.
"Pretty much." Lorelai smiled, holding up her cup for him to fill. "So, how're you, Jess?"
"I've been better, but then I've also been a whole lot worse," he considered. "Living in a place with solid walls and a roof right now, so things are looking up."
Lorelai nodded, watching as Jess turned to walk away, before suddenly calling him back. When he looked at her expectantly, Lorelai struggled with what she meant to say. It was still strange to her to look at Jess and see a real human being with feelings and such. A couple of years ago, even a couple of months ago, he was still the little punk who gave her attitude and broke Rory's heart. It was strange how people could change, or maybe just how your perception could change if you let it.
"Thank you," she said at last.
"For the coffee?" Jess checked, unsure what else she could mean.
"No, for Rory," said Lorelai seriously. "I, er... We haven't really had a chance to talk since it happened, but she told me that you were there for her, the day she had to drop a class? It was a pretty bad time for the both of us, and I just want you to know I'm glad you were there when Rory really needed a friend."
"No problem." He shrugged like it was nothing.
Lorelai smiled. "Y'know, you're more than a little like Luke sometimes."
Jess looked like he didn't know what to do with that before just nodding once and walking away. Lorelai watched him go and sighed. She meant to pay a compliment, in a way, but maybe Jess hadn't seen it that way. He was never the best at communicating, which she supposed was yet another trait he shared with Luke. Getting up from her table, Lorelai headed for the counter, towards the diner owner himself. Sure that Jess was far enough away not to hear, she spoke up.
"Hey, Luke. Is Jess okay?" she checked.
"Far as I know," he replied. "Why?"
"I don't know. I was being friendly, I swear, and I thought we were okay now, but he seems... I don't know, a little weird today?"
"It's Jess," said Luke, like that was explanation enough. "All I know is he's still here, he's not giving me attitude, and that's fine by me. Honestly, weird mood or not, it's nice having him around. Good to know where he is and that he's not dead in a gutter, you know?"
"Uh-huh." Lorelai nodded her agreement, turning to watch Jess as he moved amongst the patrons of the diner.
Before she could get too lost in thought or even consider heading back to her table, Lorelai's cell rang in her pocket. She hardly retrieved it before Luke was pointing at his 'no cell phones' sign and ushering her out the door.
"Mom?" said Lorelai as she took the call. "I'm not... What?"
Luke immediately stopped with his trying to throw Lorelai out when he heard the crack in her voice, spotting the tears that sprang to her eyes. He had seen that look before, a couple of Christmasses ago, when Richard was rushed to hospital with a suspected heart-attack. The second Lorelai was done with her call, he asked what was wrong.
"Um, apparently my grandmother just died," she said, looking appropriately stunned by the sudden news. "Wow, um... I don't know what to do with that. She was so... Gran was one of those people you just expected to live forever, y'know?"
She looked up at Luke like she was barely seeing him and he felt just awful. Without even thinking about it, he wrapped an arm around her back and pulled her close. Lorelai leaned all her weight into his chest for a few moments, just needing any kind of support and comfort until the shock wore off. Luke had to guess the old lady hadn't been sick or anything or this wouldn't have come as such a surprise. Lorelai didn't talk much about her grandmother, only her parents, but Luke could tell she clearly cared about the woman who had so suddenly passed.
"I'm sorry," she said, pulling out of Luke's grasp in a moment. "I, er... I just wasn't expecting this. I should go see my parents. Apparently my dad isn't taking it well. Oh God, I don't even know what to do here!"
"Hey, calm down," Luke urged her, his hands at her shoulders when she started to flail some. "You're not alone in this, now what do you need?"
Lorelai took a breath and thought for a second.
"To tell Rory, I guess," she said at last, "but she'll probably be in class."
"Okay, well, you go to your parents' house, be with your folks," Luke suggested. "In fact, I'll drive you."
"I can drive," insisted Lorelai, shoving her things from the table into her bag without really paying attention to what she was doing.
"No, you can't," said Luke definitely. "Jess! I need you to cover for a while, I'm taking Lorelai to Hartford," he called to his nephew who wandered over, looking suitably concerned.
"What happened?"
Lorelai was a little wild eyed as she looked up at him and declared; "My grandma died."
"Oh. I'm sorry," said Jess, unsure what else to add.
"Thanks," Lorelai muttered, shoving her bag on her shoulder.
Luke checked he had his keys to hand and went to get the door.
"If Rory calls you, could you tell her I need to speak to her," said Lorelai, following Luke out but still speaking over her shoulder to Jess. "She doesn't know yet and I should be the one to tell her."
"Sure," he agreed. "I doubt she'll call me, but yeah, if she does, I'll tell her."
Lorelai and Luke were gone the next moment. Jess just stood there with the coffee pot in his hand staring after them for a while. He had no idea what it was to lose a grandparent, never mind a great-grandparent, but he did understand loss. Never having a father, living with a mother who wished she was anywhere but with him, it had an impact on a kid, on a young man like Jess.
Shaking his head, Jess took himself back to the task at hand. Seemed he was covering the diner alone until Luke got done in Hartford, and that was fine. He couldn't help wondering about Rory, how she would take the news of her great-grandmother's death. He hadn't seen her in a few days, since their not-a-date that had ended in not-quite-a-kiss. All that would pale into insignificance now, he was sure, and maybe that was a good thing.
When his cell started buzzing on the end of the bed, Jess finished the last two lines on the page and shoved the marker into his book before reaching for the phone. Very few people had the number and Luke had already called to say he wasn't going to be back tonight. After spending much of the afternoon with Lorelai and her folks, he had headed over to his supposed home with Nicole. Jess was on his own to close up the diner and spend the night. The only other likely candidate for calling was the very person on the end of the line.
"Rory," he greeted her without any preamble, unsure what state she might be in.
"Hey, Jess," she said sadly, tears evident in her voice. "Er, I guess you heard, my great-grandma died today."
"I heard," he confirmed, unsure what else to say that wouldn't make her feel worse. "I'm sorry," he tried, startled a little by the strange gurgle of laughter that came into his ear.
"Me too," said Rory then. "It's so weird, I mean, I met her. I guess you could say I knew her, in a way, but... but it wasn't a real knowing, because we hardly spent any time together. I never got a chance to really get to know her, my own great-grandmother, and now she's gone. Gone forever and I don't get the chance to... to do anything."
It broke Jess' heart to hear her so sad. All he wanted was to be there at Rory's side, holding onto her, letting her know everything was going to be okay. Twenty two point eight miles wasn't far, but it was late already, and breaking onto the Yale campus maybe wouldn't be his smartest move.
"I'm sorry," he told her again, perhaps for her loss, perhaps for not being all she needed either now or before. "But hey, you're probably the lucky one. I mean, at least you got to meet her, right? Not everybody meets their great-grandparents. Hell, I never even met one of my grandparents."
"I guess," said Rory, before all that he had said must've sunk in. "You never had any grandparents?"
"Nah. Jimmy's folks are long gone, so he said. Liz's dad was still around when I was born, so Luke told me, but I was like a year old or something when he died, so I don't remember."
"I'm sorry, Jess," said Rory too softly, too painfully - it hurt to hear.
"Hey, it is what it is."
"Yeah." Rory sighed. "I feel so strange. It's like I'm sad but not as sad as I should be. I feel like I should be crying a lot more, but the tears aren't coming. Is that horrible? Am I a horrible person?"
"Rory, you've never been a horrible person in your life and you know it," said Jess firmly, rolling his eyes because they both knew she knew that already, just the grief had got her all crazy. "I'm not exactly an expert but I'm pretty sure there's no handbook on grieving, no right way to do it. If you cry you cry and if you don't, then you don't. Nobody's judging."
"You're right, I know you are," she replied, a yawn overtaking the words by the end.
"You sound tired," said Jess, knowing he was starting to feel the same as he reclined on his bed with one arm behind his head.
"A little, but I'm not sure I could sleep," said Rory in his ear. "Paris is out tonight, and Mom is still with Grandma and Grandpa"
"So I'm a last resort, huh?"
"What? No, Jess, I-"
"I was kidding," he told her fast, interrupting before Rory hit full-on panicked Gilmore ramble. "Sorry, I thought it'd help."
"No, I'm sorry," she said sleepily, the sound of creaking springs and such proving to Jess that she was lying down in her own bed. "Talk to me, Jess, about something else, anything else," she urged him.
He didn't know where to begin. All the thoughts in Jess' head were too serious and messed up to put into words. Picturing Rory in her bed did things to him that weren't appropriate right now. Thinking of her hurting and sad put a knife in his gut that was impossible to remove. Recalling the kiss they almost shared and the way she bolted brought on a myriad of questions best left unasked today of all days.
Rory wanted light and fluffy, an easy topic to take her mind off the tough stuff so she would be able to fall asleep. Jess knew he would never deny her anything, which led to him picking up his book from the nightstand and asking if she ever read it.
"I've been meaning to," she told him. "Is it good?"
"So far, yeah," he told her. "Wanna hear the first page?"
She agreed easily to his suggestion, and Jess was four chapters in when he realised Rory was asleep. She stopped making comments several pages ago and now her even breathing was coming down the phone into his ear. A smile came to Jess' lips that he couldn't remove as he put the book back on the nightstand and whispered goodnight. Cutting off the call, he ran his hands over his face and thought about turning in himself.
He had just changed clothes and was about to crawl in under the covers when a noise downstairs caught his attention. Jess halted in place, startled but battle-ready for whatever came next. His eyes went to the baseball bat that Luke kept in the corner, but he relaxed again in a second when he heard familiar voices yelling.
"You said you came over to talk and then you just walk out!"
That was Nicole. Jess didn't know her all that well but he could recognise her dulcet tones as she tore a lump out of her 'husband'.
"That wasn't talking, that was yelling, something I was trying to avoid by coming back here!"
Luke being married was so beyond crazed. Jess asked him once how the hell it had happened, but his uncle didn't seem willing to talk about it.
"What? You expected me not to follow you? Well, expectations aren't always met, Luke. I expected you to be home before ten o'clock at night, like you said you would be!"
"I was helping out with a family who are grieving, Nicole!"
"Yes, Lorelai's family! It's always about Lorelai, isn't it, Luke? Well, maybe you should have married her instead of me!"
"Maybe I should've!"
Jess' eyes widened at Luke's quick response, but it didn't surprise him that Nicole had made the suggestion. Nobody knew better than Jess how much Luke and Lorelai belonged together, and the whole town would agree that they were the only couple that made sense. It was nutty to think Luke could make marriage work with Nicole, or that Lorelai could ever really have something meaningful with anybody else either.
It suited Jess not to think too much about how right Lorelai had been when she said he wasn't always so dissimilar to Luke. Rory had a lot in common with Lorelai too. The parallels were not lost on Jess, but he definitely, absolutely was not thinking about that right now. Unfortunately, even after the yelling downstairs stopped, he wasn't exactly sleeping either.
To Be Continued...
