Chapter 11. Alva:Memories and Doubts.
Fear. So deep it was paralyzing. Then, determination. I had to protect Vanessa. Nothing else mattered. Pain. It seemed to reached right into my very core. Finally, darkness. An infinite black abyss free of all my pain and all my memories.
I was awake. I knew I had been unconscious but I wasn't so sure for how long. All I remembered were emotions and a few jumbled up thoughts. I frowned trying to remember. Fear. Vanessa. Pain. Darkness. Pain was the clearest memory of all so I focused on it. Immediately my back tingled and itched. A phantom reaction.
I lay there with my eyes closed for a long time, watching the colors play behind my lids. I could smell chocolate waffles and a deeper sweeter scent. I could here distant laughter and closer to me, steady breathing, like someone was asleep. My hands felt the surface I was lying on. Soft pillows and a mattress. I couldn't remember the last time I slept on a bed.
The sensations were not familiar. I didn't know where I was. Focusing, I controlled the overwhelming sense of panic rising in me. Maybe I was kidnapped. What would happen to me then? Where was Vanessa? Did the monsters kill her? And that Underworld spawn. Did he turn on us?
Deep breaths. In. Out. In. Out. Stretch your mind out. Feel the thoughts around you. Listen to the emotions. Discern their meaning. Use it to survive.
They are saying the newbies aren't claimed yet.
Rumors. They spread faster than truth, Annabeth.
Why is he with her? Who is she anyway?
Ms. freaky Eyes gets all the attention. What am I? A bug?
Is she okay?
Thoughts swirled in my head faster and faster. I tried to stop the flow but there was just too many! Too many people. Too many thoughts. I jerked up in the bed, gasping, still trying to control the flow of thoughts. I was dimply aware of my surroundings. I was in a small, comfy and well lit room. There were around ten or so beds around me that were identical to mine. What I could see of my hair was switching colors so fast it looked like a kaleidoscope. Still the thoughts flowed.
Suddenly, there was a cool hand pressing down on my head.
"Chill, Alva. It's okay. You're safe. You're healed. There's nothing here to hurt you. Calm down. It's gonna be fine. It's going be okay."
It's going to be okay. My eyes flew open. Bright blue eyes stared steadily into my own. Memory seized me and I remembered dreaming about a boy with identical blue eyes telling me that. I remembered the trust I had for him. The sense of safety that enveloped me.
Slowly, I calmed down. The infinite flow of emotions stopped and I retreated deep within my own mind. I couldn't even sense the emotions of the boy before. me. It was safer that way. I won't lose control again.
When my breathing returned to normal, I met the boy's gaze again. He stared back at me, his eyes glimmering. I felt his gaze travel over my eyes and hair and linger over my scar. What was he thinking? I almost reached out to find out for myself but stopped myself just in time.
"How did you know my name?" The boy seemed taken back by my sudden question. He ran his fingers through his hair nervously.
""Uh- your friend told me- us." He was lying. I stared at him warily. Why was he lying? The boy couldn't seem to return my gaze. I threw caution to he winds and attacked him head on.
"You're lying," I told him flatly. His head snapped up and I gave him my best glare.
"Fine. I'm lying." He seemed determined not to tell the truth. I liked that. The boy seemed surprised by my reaction. It seemed to encourage him somehow. He smiled back at me and stuck out his hand. "Hey. I'm Connor. Connor Stoll."
I blinked, staring at his hand mutely. Without warning, I was thrown back to a lovely summer's day, exactly three years, one month and three days ago.
"Hey! Hey! Calm down, I'm not going to hurt you!" A boy stood before me. He was dirty. His clothes stank worse than all the garbage bins I've ever had the misfortune to be near. His clothes were ripped. He had a eye patch over one eye. Judging by the way he kept fiddling with it, it was new. He looked like a fugitive, hard and determined.
I calmly held my sword over his throat and reached onto his mind. Memories flowed through me. The fugitive's other eye, which was a bright steel gray, widened in panic.
Monsters.
His father dying in a car accident.
Camp Half Blood.
Unclaimed.
Years and years in the Hermes Cabin.
Hatred festering in the deepest darkest parts of his heart.
Nemesis, his mother, taking his eye as penance.
Him leaving camp.
His quest... justice.
I released the boy. He was not a threat. I was right to call him a fugitive. He was a fugitive from fate itself. Like me.
The boy slumped on the ground, still staring at me with his one eye wide open. I ignored him and turned away. It was my gift to find other people's memories and thoughts through sheer willpower, without a spell or incantation but it was my curse to make them live through it with me.
"Wait." The boy clamped a hand on my shoulder and I froze, ready to attack. "Don't go." Slowly, I turned around and faced him. He stretched out his hand, smiling. "Hey. I'm Ethan. Ethan Nakamura."
I shook his hand and jumped when something shocked me. I pulled out my hand from his grasp. Ethan laughed. He showed me his palms, still trembling from laughter. Concealed in his palm was a small electrical device. I turned away in disgust.
"Hey, hey. C'mon! Don't be like that!" He grabbed my wrist. I whirled around and glared at him. He backed away, his arms raised in surrender. "Okay, okay! It was a joke okay! It's been days since I pranked someone! It's funny!" I relaxed and smiled softly at him. He grinned back.
That was the day my life was ruined forever.
"Alva? Alva, are you okay?" The boy, Connor, staring at me again, his eyes filled with some indiscernible emotion. I was brought back to the present with a bump. Slowly, I grasped his hand and turned it over. Sure enough, there was a small electrical device concealed in it. I closed my eyes.
Control your emotions. Deep breaths. In. Out.
"Hey, how did you know-" I cut Connor off with a wave off my hand.
"Where am I?" My voice was hoarse.
"Camp Half Blood." The tone of surprise never left Connor's voice. "You're home. You're safe."
I stood up, shakily. My knees gave out and I collapsed on to the bed again.
"Whoa, easy there girl. That Nemean lion damaged you pretty bad." Connor hands rested on my shoulders causally. I shrugged him off.
"How long was I out?" Nemean lion. Of course, when I turned away to perform the spell the lion must have snuck up behind me. It was a sacrifice to my mother. One does not perform big spells without sacrifices.
"Just a day. Nothing major." Connor's voice was casual. Deliberately so. "Are you claimed?" I ignored him and got up again.
"I have to to get out." I hated this place. It was too small, it's four walls closing down on me. I needed to get out. I was preoccupied before but now every sense assaulted me. That sweet syrupy smell was heavy in the air. The shrieks from outside was louder. The blankets beneath me were scratchy and annoying. The light pouring in from the windows hurt my eyes. I. Had. To. Get. Out.
"Okay. We can go take a walk, I can show you around. My cabin, Cabin 11, Hermes, is really cool. It doesn't look like it though, but that's an illusion, see? We have this really-" I cut him off with a wild gesture.
"You don't understand!" My voice shook and I hated myself for it. I was weak. I was pathetic. "I have to ."
"Leave Camp? But... you just got here!" Connor had grasped my shoulders again. I didn't bother shrugging him off, concentrating instead on getting up. My knees felt stronger now and I could stand without difficulty.
"Exactly. I never should have come here in the first place!" I hissed at him. Connor recoiled. Hurt, I turned away and began walking towards the exit, grabbing my pack and sword on the way. It didn't look like anyone had played around with it. Everything was still in place.
Suddenly, Connor grabbed me from behind. I reacted instinctively. I swung my sword and yelled "πίσω!" There was a bang and Connor flew backwards. He hit the opposite wall with a loud "Thud!" I stared at him in horror. What have I done?
I could hear the shrieks of joy from outside turning into a joint jumble of murmuring voices. The dust cleared and I saw Connor slumped, unconscious, against the opposite wall. I stared at him in shock and surprise mixed with self loathing. What. Have. I. Done?
I probably just attacked my only other friend besides Vanessa. Now, they will never let me leave. I sensed a deeper feeling of guilt. Maybe it had something to do with the way Connor reminded me of Ethan. I don't know!
I ran to him. He stirred and opened his eyes. "I'm sorry!" I blurted out. " I didn't mean it! I swear!"
"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have grabbed you like that. I should have known better." He smiled, seemingly at a private joke. I helped him up, still dazed from the bang.
"So," Connor dusted himself off. "You'll stay then?" I stared at him for a moment and nodded slowly. I owed that much to him. But I still wondered though.
What was I getting myself into?
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