Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, but Carlisle Cullen owns me.
I Don't Want to Miss a Thing
Carlisle Cullen's Point of View
Over the last few days it had become a custom of Edward's to meet me on the front porch of the house when I returned home from work and tell me everything he had learned about Isabella that day. Today he wasn't there, but I could hear soft piano music from the foyer, so I made my way inside and sat on the couch, crossing my legs casually.
He raised his eyes to meet mine and nodded in greeting. "She hurt herself last night," he said with a fond shake of his head. "She said she broke a plate while she was washing dishes. It must have cut her pretty badly, because her whole hand was bandaged."
Left or right? I was a tad obsessive, I knew, but if I couldn't be near her myself, I would take whatever information I could get.
"Left."
And is she right-handed?
He nodded.
So she is still able to do her schoolwork?
He nodded again.
I might have to suggest some good pain killers to Charlie.
"I'm sure no one would ever get more use out of them than Bella," he laughed.
I chuckled. What else?
His smile broadened. "She asked me if I thought she smelled bad."
Bad? I laughed. If she only knew. Why did she ask?
"I've been too careful, apparently, trying to put space between us. I've been conspicuous about it. I'll have to stop giving her quite such a wide berth so she won't wonder if I'm repulsed by her."
Will that be a problem for you?
He shook his head, smiling wryly. "What's a foot or two, really? I can still smell her with every breath from several yards away. There's no difference."
Is it terribly painful?
"Agony," he admitted. "But I would bear a thousand times worse to bring you a moment of happiness, Carlisle."
I let him see my gratitude. Words cannot express the happiness your reports bring to me.
He smiled to himself as his hands shifted and started playing a new song. "She's still riding me about the thing with Tyler's van," he went on. "I'm sticking with the adrenaline excuse, but she said, and I quote, 'I'm calling bullshit.'"
I raised my eyebrows in surprise.
"She doesn't curse often," Edward said good-naturedly, "so I think she must be pretty upset with me." His smile dimmed a little. "She asked me why I don't trust her enough to be honest with her."
I sighed sadly, my thoughts slipping to the Volturi. It would be nice to be able to tell her the truth. I just cannot gamble with her safety like that.
"I know," Edward said. "I wouldn't expose her to that either, and I'm only speaking as a friend."
How did you answer her?
"I told her it wasn't a matter of trust, and then Alice and Jasper distracted her."
Ah, yes. Did Jasper learn anything?
His eyebrows drew together a little. "Jasper's gift is . . . hard to interpret sometimes," he hedged.
Please explain.
"He sat down next to her and introduced himself," he said, "and of course he gave her a little dose of warm feelings so she wouldn't be too nervous being close to him."
I nodded. That was not unusual for Jasper when he wanted to hold a conversation with a someone. It helped overcome the natural aversion that humans had to our kind.
Edward hesitated.
Please, son, don't hold things back from me. I need to know everything about her.
"She looked at him," Edward said frowning, "and he detected very unmistakable feelings of affection . . . and lust."
I stilled for a moment, closing my eyes against the intensity of the rage and jealousy that flared in me for the briefest moment.
Jasper's voice drifted down from upstairs. "Try not to forget that she's a teenage girl, Carlisle," he said gently. "With the state of her hormones, lust will frequently flare over very minor stimuli, and sometimes for no apparent reason. I feel it all day long, every single day."
Edward nodded his agreement. "She later reacted the same way when Alice was asking her some questions."
I furrowed my brow. "You're right, of course," I said aloud for Jasper's sake. "It is a bit of a puzzle, though."
"Sadly," Edward said, "we still have no idea how she feels about you."
Disappointment pulled at my thoughts.
"We did learn something else that was rather interesting," he continued.
I let him feel my curiosity.
"Jasper worried that he might have overdone it a little with the emotion control," Edward explained, "so he pulled it back. He didn't influence her at all. And . . . she wasn't uncomfortable."
I wondered if he had determined that by reading physical reactions like her heart rate and sweat production.
"That," he answered my unformed question, "and Jasper's reading. He didn't pick up any fear or anxiety."
"Fascinating," I murmured. "I wonder if she has always felt that way, or if it's a recent development because of her interaction with you." Or possibly as a result of the initialization of the mating instinct? Hope tinged my thoughts, despite my decision not to pursue the girl.
"That's more along the lines of what I was thinking," Edward smiled. "It's a shame we didn't have Jasper reading her all along."
"Tell me Jasper, what sorts of emotions did you pick up from her?"
"Depression," Jasper said from upstairs. "The girl's very unhappy, Carlisle."
Edward nodded. "I've scanned through the minds of her other acquaintances, and none of them seem to realize it. She hides it from them, but she's been slightly more honest with me."
"Why do you suppose that is?"
He smiled wryly. "Possibly because I've annoyed her into it. I've been questioning her incessantly since I got back from Alaska."
"She likes you, Edward," Jasper drawled. "She trusts you."
"What sorts of things has she told you?" I asked Edward.
He finished the piece he was playing and began a new one. "She's unhappy here, but it's better than living in Phoenix with her mother. She seemed happy enough there until her mother's recent marriage to a man named Phil."
"Do you know why she's unhappy here?" Perhaps there was something I could do to help.
He shook his head. "She refuses to say. But she did say that she always disliked visiting here in the summer."
I nodded slowly. "What other emotions did you feel, Jasper?"
"Envy. Particularly when we were talking about college."
"You spoke of college?" I asked, my interest piqued.
Edward nodded as he played. "She asked if Jasper had plans for after graduation. He told her he was applying for schools, and that's when he felt the envy from her."
"She's eager to leave for college, then?"
"She doesn't intend to go to college," Edward said.
I frowned. "Did she say why?"
"No."
"But she wanted it badly enough that her mind could be changed," Jasper suggested.
"Could be money," Edward said. "If she suddenly received a very generous scholarship, she might reconsider."
I nodded slowly. "That can be arranged."
"She asked us if we all had eating disorders," Jasper drawled, amusement in his voice.
I chuckled. "She noticed you weren't eating?"
Edward smiled. "We told her it's because we have a taste for better food."
I laughed out loud. "Well, if we ever get her and her father over, we'll have to see to it that the meal is somewhat sophisticated."
Edward smiled knowingly.
"What is it?" I asked him, returning his smile.
"I'm not allowed to say."
His words pained me. "You wouldn't hold anything back, Edward?"
"Not for long. But I promised I would let Alice tell you."
"Where is she?"
"I believe she's buying you some new clothes."
"Our girl loves clothes, doesn't she?" I chuckled.
"Carlisle, will you do something for me?" Edward asked.
What's that?
"Just think of her."
Of Isabella?
He nodded.
I smiled softly at his request, and pictured her face in my mind. I remembered the way her eyes flashed when she glared at Edward in the hospital, her natural floral scent beneath the artificial strawberry of the soaps she used, the warmth of her skin against mine when I had kept her from stumbling. That one hospital visit was all I had of her, besides the information Edward brought to me each evening, and I clung to it, reliving it again and again.
After a few silent moments Edward started to play a soft, hauntingly beautiful tune. It was slow and sweet, with a touch of longing, and I closed my eyes, letting myself get carried away by the melody. He played for several minutes while I listened and remembered my short encounter with the girl I loved.
When the music finally died away I opened my eyes. "Edward, that's beautiful," I breathed.
"I thought you might like it."
"Your own work?"
He nodded, smiling. "And yours."
I raised my eyebrows questioningly.
"I composed that piece around your feelings for Bella."
I was overcome with love and gratitude for him, and I displayed it clearly in my mind. Please. Play it again.
He complied wordlessly, and I stayed very still, my entire focus on the sound of the music filling the room around me. I let everything else melt away. Jasper drifted downstairs while he played and stood near me, placing a hand on my shoulder. We listened together until Edward finished the piece and let it fade into silence.
"Thank you, Edward," I whispered.
Jasper gave him a lazy smile. "Brother, I think you nailed it," he said approvingly.
He nodded his thanks and stood up. "Alice and Esme are nearly here," he said, clasping his hands in front of him. He stood still and waited patiently, and in a few moments I heard the sound of their tires on the road. I stood as well, anxious to hear whatever news it was that Alice had insisted she be allowed to share with me. We were silent until the door opened, and then Edward strode forward.
"Esme," he breathed, and took her into his arms, kissing her tenderly. He took her shopping bags from her and the two of them headed for the stairs.
"I know, I know," Alice smiled smugly. "You're waiting for your news. But you're just going to have to wait a couple more minutes while I put my things away." She thrust a long white box into my hands. "Here, you can try those on while you wait."
I looked at the box, puzzled. It was certainly not unusual for her to have bought me something, but the fact that she only gave me one box surprised me. Alice wasn't one to hold back when shopping.
And we both knew it would fit perfectly. She didn't need me to try anything on.
"I just want you to see it," she chirped over her shoulder as she and Jasper moved up to their bedroom.
I followed after them and veered into my room, opening the box Alice had given me. Inside was a surprisingly unsophisticated outfit. There was pair of dark blue-gray jeans and a blue, V-neck long-sleeved T-shirt. I wasn't sure why Alice had been so excited about these particular items, but I humored her and slipped into them. I was a little surprised with how small the shirt was. It fit tightly over my shoulders and chest, and probably needed to be a size larger.
"Let's see it," Alice said in a sing-song voice, already finished putting her clothes away.
I opened the door to let her in, and she grinned happily. "It's perfect!"
"It's a little small."
"That's the proper fit, Carlisle," she informed me, shaking her head at my lack of fashion awareness. "We're updating your look. The sweater vests really have to go."
"Plenty of men still wear sweater vests," I said, slightly miffed. I liked them.
"Old men wear sweater vests. You're only thirty years old, remember? You can dress all stuffy at work, but at home you have to dress your age."
"At home it doesn't matter how I dress," I reminded her as she brushed a wrinkle smooth.
"It does when we have company," she sang, heading out of the room.
I drew my eyebrows together curiously. "When are we having company?" I followed her back to her room and leaned against the door frame.
"Tomorrow," she grinned, gathering up the now-empty shopping bags as Jasper looked on fondly. "And you're wearing that."
"Who?" I asked her.
She finally turned to face me, smiling triumphantly. "Bella. I told her you were helping me practice for the SATs this weekend, and she's coming to join us."
"And she's staying for dinner," Jasper said wryly. "So we're all going to have an unpleasant evening."
I smiled delightedly. "I thought she was unavailable."
"She was just going to go fishing with Charlie," Alice said. "She doesn't even like fishing, so we talked her into coming here instead."
I gripped her by the shoulders and kissed her cheek. "Alice, that's wonderful. Thank you."
"You're welcome," she smiled smugly. "For the date and the clothes."
I glanced down at myself doubtfully. "Are you sure about this? It doesn't look like I'm trying too hard to look young?"
She rolled her eyes. "You're thirty, Carlisle. Men your age are still hitting clubs and taking home hot girls."
"Not when they're married."
She shrugged. "You still have to look hot for your wife." She ducked past me and took the shopping bags out to be recycled.
Jasper chuckled. "You don't look like you're trying to be younger than you are," he assured me. "You look good."
"Oh my," Esme said, emerging from her bedroom down the hall.
I turned to face her.
"You really do look stunning," she said admiringly. "I think you'll have to trust Alice's judgment on this one."
"Try to stand a little more casually," Edward said from the bedroom, then emerged so we could speak face to face. "This hands-behind-your-back thing, that's perfect for Dr. Cullen at the hospital. But for the at-home Carlisle who helps Alice with her tests, you'll want to loosen your shoulders." He demonstrated, propping his forearm against the wall next to him and crossing one foot over the opposite ankle.
I gave it a try.
"Drop your free shoulder just a little," Edward said. "And let your head fall forward slightly. Bad posture is in these days."
I frowned, but complied.
"Perfect," Esme glowed. "You do look younger this way."
"Give me another," I told Edward. "I can't stand in one position the whole day."
"When you sit, put one foot up. Here." He led me downstairs to the living room and sat on the couch, then braced the bottom of his foot against the edge of the coffee table.
I sat and imitated his stance.
"Don't forget to slouch a little against the back of the couch."
"Why is slouching good?" I asked him as I complied.
"It makes you more approachable. Someone as sophisticated as you can be intimidating, which is not necessarily a bad thing at the hospital or at a public function. But here we want to present you as just another guy."
I nodded. I very much wanted Isabella to think of me as an approachable person.
"Show me another."
Edward stood and hooked one thumb in his pocket, hunching his shoulders slightly and looking down at the floor. I stood and imitated him.
He nodded. "That's good. Now, when she comes to the door, don't go to greet her. She knows me, so I'll let her in, and I want you and Alice to look like you're already working on studying. It's a little too formal for you to leave that to show her in. Just look up and give her a nod and a smile, and invite her to come join you."
"That sounds like terribly poor manners."
"It's familiar," Edward insisted. "If you want her to feel comfortable with you, you need to be familiar."
I nodded.
"Now, at dinner you can class it back up a little," Edward said. "Be your usual debonair self, and it will charm her."
"It's charming at dinner but not for studying?"
He nodded. "Oddly, humans these days seem to like it when their mealtimes have a level of sophistication that their daily lives don't."
"I see." I filed away that information. "What else?"
