Disclaimer: Once again, I don't own it.

A Change of Identity

Chapter 11: Happy Birthday, Harry

Lessons started the next morning and for the next two weeks Harry followed the timetable Lupin had drawn up for him and refrained from causing his tutor any trouble. He stopped short of showing any enthusiasm however. Occasionally Lupin would make a comment such as 'A smile would be nice now and then, Harry,' but Harry refused to oblige. He accepted that he had no choice but to work properly but that didn't mean he had to like it. He also stubbornly refused to go flying during the times he was scheduled to spend outside. Flying had lost its appeal for him the day that Snape had given Malfoy his broomstick. So instead he would change into his despised muggle clothes and go for walks along the country lanes and fields surrounding the house. It was this that ended up landing him in trouble. One day he had wandered further than normal and arrived home ten minutes after he should have resumed work. He received a stern rebuke for this. The next day he deliberately stayed out late hoping to cut a few minutes off Transfiguration which he found tedious when doing theory rather than practical work. This time Lupin said nothing but led Harry straight to the small room they used as a classroom and started the lesson. But Harry found to his dismay that he had not succeeded in his aim. The lesson went on and on; all theory, no wand work at all and it lasted a full half hour longer than normal. Every time that Harry's attention wandered even the slightest Lupin would bring him back to reality by speaking sharply. Finally, when the lesson ended, Harry found himself with a homework essay to do which was twice as long as normal and the knowledge that he would have to spend free time finishing it as it was too much to fit into his ordinary homework time.

Harry's initial reaction was to refuse to do it. He even opened his mouth to tell Lupin where to stuff it, but even as he did so he met the man's eyes and his mouth shut again. Something was telling Harry that he was bound to do the essay. He fumed inwardly, not understanding what was going on, and left the room in silence.

Remus smirked to himself as his young charge took his leave. He felt rather proud of himself for delivering such an effective punishment without having to lecture Harry or even mention the offence. One thing was certain. Harry would think twice before being late again. He had of course expected Harry to try to rebel. The boy was still unhappy and his pride wouldn't allow him to cry or to talk about how he felt. Misbehaviour of some sort was the only other possible outlet and Remus could cope with that.

Two days later Remus informed Harry that Sirius would be arriving the following morning so that he could go away for the full moon. Thinking it wise not to leave anything to chance, he added,

'And I do not expect you to cause any trouble while I am away. Is that understood?' Remus looked hard at Harry until he was satisfied that he felt the compulsion to obey. He was aware that Harry was frustrated by having to behave whether he wanted to or not but Remus didn't want Sirius to have to punish the boy.

Sirius duly arrived the next day after breakfast and Remus left, fairly confident that things would go relatively smoothly in his absence. It came as a shock to him then when he returned two days later to find Sirius sitting alone in the drawing room at a time when he should have been giving Harry a Potions lesson. From the look on his friend's face Remus deduced that something had gone badly wrong and he asked Sirius what it was that had happened.

The first morning had gone without a hitch. Then Sirius had allowed Harry to have half an hour to himself before lunch. When Harry had failed to appear at the table on time Sirius had gone looking for him, intending to give "the brat" a piece of his mind. He had found him in the drawing room staring at a photograph album containing a large collection of pictures of James, Lily and "the other Harry". When Sirius walked in on Harry he threw the album at the wall and fled to his room where he had stayed ever since, refusing to talk or even show any sign of acknowledging Sirius. Sirius had had Tinks take meals to Harry but they had come back barely touched. Remus made his way up to Harry's bedroom where he found him staring blankly out of the window. He turned around when Remus approached and placed a hand gently on his shoulder.

'Don't bother telling me everything's going to be fine,' said Harry flatly. 'It was that other boy they cared about it. Professor Potter even said it himself. "He was my son in every way that counted." And Snape said that he was his son too. I'm just the impostor. And don't try saying Professor Black's any different because I can tell he feel's the same as Professor Potter.'

Remus wanted so much to be able to tell Harry that he was mistaken but to do so would be a lie. Instead he said gently,

Things can always change, Harry. In any case, I will not have you starve yourself. Tinks will bring you supper and you are to eat it. And tomorrow I expect you down in the kitchen for breakfast at the proper time and to resume your lessons afterwards.'

'Fine.' The reply was devoid of any emotion whatsoever and Remus left to return to Sirius feeling extremely worried about the boy.

His worries increased over the next few weeks. Harry obediently attended meals and lessons. He caused no trouble even when James came home for the school holidays and took over half of the tutoring. In fact it was the complete lack of trouble which was Remus's main cause for concern. The spark of defiance which had always been present in Harry's demeanour was missing and Remus felt that he was now teaching a soulless puppet.

July came to an end and Harry sat the exams which James had brought home with him and passed, as Remus had expected. A few days later came Harry's birthday. Remus had dissuaded James from buying Harry a broomstick saying that it would be better to wait until he was willing to fly voluntarily again. James concurred and so when Harry came down for breakfast on the 31st of July it was to find two parcels on the table. He ate breakfast and got up to clear away as normal. James stopped him and told him he didn't have to do that today and told him to open his presents. Harry did so with a disinterested air. He said a polite 'Thank you, Sir,' to James after opening the first present which contained a pair of omnioculars and repeated the process with the books from Remus. He then disappeared upstairs as he had been doing every day since his lessons had stopped.

Harry lay on his bed staring up at the ceiling. He knew that any minute now Tinks would appear and tell him that it was lunchtime and that he would once again have to go downstairs and force himself to eat even though he didn't feel in the least bit hungry. He never felt hungry now. He never felt anything much, actually. The hatred he'd felt for Professor Potter had faded into indifference. He knew that somehow his grand plan of demanding Lupin's protection had somehow gone awry but wasn't sure exactly how except that he felt a strong compulsion to obey the man at certain times. It was as if he were living in a bubble where nothing could really reach him.

Lunchtime was even harder than he had expected. His Godfather was there and he had another present for Harry which turned out to be tickets for a quidditch game that afternoon. Even if he'd had the energy to refuse to go he suspected that Lupin would insist and he'd once again have to obey, so three o'clock found the four of them sitting in prime seats watching two of the best teams in the league play each other. Harry listlessly followed the match using his new omnioculars. A year ago, he realised, this would have been a treat beyond his wildest dreams. Now it was almost a chore.

'Well, talk about ungrateful brats,' said Sirius that night when Harry had gone upstairs after a tensely atmosphered birthday tea. 'He could at least have pretended to enjoy himself.'

'I've had it with him,' said James. 'We've made the effort to give him a good time and he doesn't appreciate it. He can just amuse himself in future. Moony, can you take him to get his school stuff tomorrow please? Then he can stay out of our way while he does his reading ready for next term.'

'Certainly, I'll take him,' replied Remus. 'But you might bear in mind that while you gave him presents and a day out you haven't come close to giving him what he really needs.'

'And what's that?' asked James. 'A good kick in the pants?'

'He needs the unconditional love of his father,' said Remus.

'And how in Merlin's name can you expect anyone to love that boy,' asked Sirius. James looked incredulously at Remus, clearly of the same opinion as Sirius.

'He's got you just where he wants you because of that wand,' he said. 'I think you should take him to Olivander's tomorrow.'

'I've told you before James,' replied Remus firmly, 'that he can keep the wand. All Harry's problems stem from the fact that he has been rejected. You cannot expect him to behave in a reasonable manner when he knows that his own father provides for him only out of a sense of duty. He needs unconditional love.'

'Well you obviously care for him,' said Sirius. 'Why won't he behave for you?'

'He is afraid.' Remus sounded sad. 'He is afraid to believe that I will not turn round one day and want nothing more to do with him. And I am not his father. Even if he can learn to accept that I will never desert him he cannot be happy while those whose love he deserves do not give it to him.'

'I'm sorry, Remus,' said James bluntly. 'Maybe you're right and he doesn't deserve the way I feel about him but Harry is just not lovable. I will provide for him and call him my son but do not expect me to feel any love for him.'

There was nothing Remus could say to that. He knew that James was just being honest about the way he felt. At least it was better than pretending to care for Harry and then letting him down at a later date. And Sirius felt just the same about his Godson as James did. But it was Harry who was suffering. It was Harry who had to live with the pain of rejection. And at the moment Remus could not see how things were ever going to get better for the boy.