Hello guys! Sorry for the delay, has been a very hectic week! We had snow in the UK for the first time in 5 years where I am, it was very exciting ;)
So fair warning before you start this chapter: it is not what you've been waiting for! Sorry! But this was too perfect a time to slot this flashback in
I will be updating quite soon with the resolution from last week don't you worry, but as I said this needed to be done at some point, and what better time than as Hermione's remembering it!
Hope you enjoy this chapter anyway, and thank you for the reviews I love reading every one :)
December 31st, 2000
Hermione bit into the candy cane ferociously, attempting to release her aggression on the innocent sugary treat.
"You are really going to town on that thing," Pansy commented drily from her side. Her best friend was assuming her usual start-of-the-party position – next to the alcohol. "Imagining it's Ron's penis?"
At this Ginny snorted and her eyes flickered over to where the object of Hermione's frustration was sat moodily chugging his eggnog. They were making quite the pair that evening - stood as far away from each other as was possible in the Burrow, both looking miserable and frustrated.
"I love my brother Hermione don't get me wrong, but this situation is too dire to go on. What did he do this time?"
Hermione sighed and twiddled with a strand of her silky straight hair. It had taken almost 2 hours to eliminate every curl, something which Ron had obviously failed to notice. Not only had he neglected to compliment her on her sleek, shiny hair, but he had also made them nearly an hour late to his family's annual New Years Eve party. The only consolation was that neither of the Weasley parents were there and so Hermione had not felt too embarrassed for showing up so late.
The Weasley New Years Eve party had been a tradition so far for each year following the end of the war. Molly and Arthur would get a much-needed date night out and see a late showing of a film at a muggle cinema (Arthur's activity choice no doubt) and their children were given permission to throw a party.
It always started out with the best intentions – George and Bill would plan a small, intimate gathering of just their closest friends and family to ring in the New Year together. Every year without fail the guestlist at least tripled, in fact Hermione was pretty sure she'd seen one of the Greengrasses at last year's do, of all people.
"The usual. I nag too much, I'm a bore, I won't pay him any attention unless its to correct him or tell him off." She reeled off, trying to keep the emotion out of her voice as she explained what the pair of them had been arguing about that evening.
It had started when Hermione had walked into Ron's living room, dressed and ready to go after a whole afternoon of prep to find her boyfriend asleep in his pyjamas on the sofa. She had gotten stressed and told him off for not being ready for the time they had agreed to almost a week ago, and he had obviously hated being told what to do. Most of their arguments were along the same lines and were never really resolved. They would end in an awkward half-reconciliation and Ron would normally buy her roses the next day. God she hated those sickly sweet smelling empty gestures.
Things had been wrong between her and Ron for a long time now, almost every conversation they ever had ended in a spat about something or other.
It didn't help that with Ginny and Harry's plans to move in with one another at some point in the New Year extra pressure was being put on the two of them to make a deeper commitment.
Hermione was almost certain that Ron was as reluctant as she was to change things from the way they were currently, but all Molly Weasley could see was a ticking clock on Hermione's uterus and a brood of red-headed book worms in the near future. It was almost suffocating.
While Ginny was sympathetic to her mother's constant hints and jokes about marriage and babies when it came to Hermione and Ron, who had "been together for so long that in my day there would have already been two children running around!", it was obviously quite hard for her to understand Hermione's position.
Both of them had sort of fallen into relationships with the two men closest to them throughout school. For Ginny it had worked an absolute treat, Harry was her dream man and he treated her like a goddess. Hermione knew that it was difficult for Ginny to see what had gone wrong in the case of her brother and Hermione, who were supposedly also a match made in heaven.
"And the sex is still terrible?" Pansy interjected, causing Ginny to wrinkle her nose in distaste.
"That is my brother we're talking about right now ladies so try to keep it PG?"
Hermione managed a small chuckle, but it died on her throat as she watched Ron mutter something irritably to George causing the other man to conspicuously glance her way, no doubt they were talking about her and their relationship. She took a long swig from her glass of too-strong punch, barely wincing when it burned her throat. She was going to need all the liquid courage she could get to make it through the evening.
"I don't understand why you don't just end things with him." Pansy said coolly, her eyes had narrowed and Hermione realised she too had noticed Ron's bitchy behaviour.
"Because of what he just did really," Hermione said a little sadly, "I couldn't cope with the Weasley's being turned against me. The Burrow is like a second home to me."
At this Ginny wrapped an arm around her oldest friend and squeezed her comfortingly.
"You know that won't ever happen, right? I mean sure mum will be quite put out but she'll get over it. She's got three other kids in a prime baby-making position at the moment."
Hermione grinned at that, also glad for an opportunity to change the subject.
"I'm so glad George and Angelina are still going strong, they make such a lovely couple." She commented on the surprise coupling of the third youngest Weasley brother as Ron stood up and brushed past them.
"Yeah I suppose it makes all the difference when your girlfriend isn't also your mum." Ron quipped nastily as he strolled by, causing Hermione to blush and look away as tears stung at her eyes.
This was his classic move whenever they got into one of their arguments. He'd mope around like a wounded animal and then needily paw at her for attention once he got bored. She was tired of it.
"What the fuck was that?!" Ginny practically shouted, causing a few other party goers to look over in their direction curiously. "Do you want me to hex him? I haven't fired off a bat bogey in too long."
"No." Said Hermione quietly, and at the same time Pansy cried out;
"Yes!"
She stared at the ground as her two best friends discussed how best to catch her boyfriend unawares and jinx him within an inch of his life (Pansy was definitely being serious, Ginny most likely not).
Their expiration date was fast approaching and Hermione knew it. She took another sip from her drink thoughtfully as she went over her options.
None of them were particularly favourable, but it was obvious to her that the two of them couldn't continue as they were for much longer, if they did they risked permanently damaging their friendship.
It's time. She thought resolutely, finishing the drink in her hand and going straight for the punch bowl for a refill.
She would break up with Ron after the party.
By around half past 11 Hermione was struggling to not break up with Ronald Weasley right then and there in front of all of his friends. Once the night had kicked up a notch and more and more people had arrived with more and more drinks, Ron had switched his tack from avoiding her and shooting her dirty looks to not leaving her side.
She knew this move, it was his way of attempting to get back into her good graces and return things to normal without actually having to apologise.
Pansy had quite swiftly gotten tired of Ron's constant presence and had left the couple to it a little while ago. Hermione was pretty sure she'd seen her laughing with Theodore Nott and Blaise Zabini who for some reason or another were taking the Burrow by storm. They had probably bee invited by Ginny who had a tendency to talk to anyone on the Quidditch pitch.
She sipped her drink lazily, feeling quite loose and warm from the punch although her mood if anything had worsened with the alcohol. It was making her even more impatient with regards to her boyfriend, she just wanted him to leave her alone or better yet, apologise for his earlier behaviour, but she had a feeling he would not let up or do as she wanted.
"You excited to be my New Year's kiss for the third year running?" He whispered, his voice hot and sticky in her ear, and Hermione had to stop herself from flinching away. She looked about her for an escape route but saw that most other people (including her lifeline Ginny Weasley) were already coupled up and dancing to the slow music, Pansy was, as expected now that the song had turned romantic, nowhere to be seen.
Hermione said nothing but forced an awkward smile. She stood up from the sofa they were currently sat on and was about to make an excuse and head for the toilet when she almost fell straight back down again.
I have had a lot more to drink than I thought.
Hermione realised, and had to hold back a giggle as it occurred to her that she was drunk. She didn't usually drink very much, and this was an unusual experience for her, what was left of her rationality quietly hoped she wouldn't do anything she'd later regret.
"Hermione? Where are you going it's midnight soon?" Ron asked, sounding strangely nervous as he looked up at her in confusion.
Hermione mumbled something about going to find Pansy but was stopped by Ron clumsily placing a finger to her lips and ordering her to hush.
"I have something I want to ask you." He began slowly, a wide smile stretching across his lips as he fumbled around in his jacket pocket. "I wanted to do this before we got here but, well. You know."
Hermione felt as though she could hear her heart pounding in her chest as Ron Weasley began to lower himself off of the sofa they had been sat on together. He couldn't be about to do this, he couldn't possibly think things were going well between them, could he?
"Hermione Jean Granger," Ron began grandly, and Hermione's jaw dropped as a few people began to look over in their direction. This couldn't be happening. "I have loved you for a really long time, and I just think we should keep moving forward with this,"
Hermione grimly realised that he was being absolutely serious. She should have guessed that the influence of Molly Weasley and the perfect couple of Ginny and Harry hanging over his head would have led him to do something utterly foolish like this. Ron was nothing if not a mummy's boy, he would do anything to please his mother, and he was also notoriously competitive with his other siblings - the threat of Harry and Ginny's impending engagement which would undoubedtly steal his mum's attention was looming too large.
He was actually going to ask her, and for a set of completely ridiculous reasons unrelated to their relationship.
Hermione didn't think any more for the next few seconds, she just acted. Later she would look back on that moment as the single most embarrassing and difficult thing she had ever done – but she also knew that Ron would later thank her for stopping them from ruining both of their lives.
"Ron, stop." She practically shouted, and that did catch everyone's attention. She tried to ignore the multiple sets of eyes on them at that moment, but caught Ginny's whispered 'shit balls' even over the loud music.
"Hermione, what are you doing?" Ron hissed, looking confused and hurt. Hermione felt her heart break a considerable amount, but she couldn't stop herself from blurting it all out. She had to do this now, they were probably already too far gone if he thought it was appropriate to propose to her in a room full of people hours after they'd had a huge fight, but she had to stop the runaway train before it crashed.
"I know you think this is what you have to do, but we can't. I can't." She said softly, tears filling her eyes as her former best friends did also. "It hasn't been right for a while, maybe ever. And I just don't enjoy the sex."
Hermione winced at that last comment, she definitely hadn't mean to say that out loud. She really needed to stop talking and drink some water, maybe even just go home and to bed.
Pansy snorted, and a few people broke the awkward silence by tittering, Ron just looked shell shocked.
"I can't believe this, why wouldn't you tell me?" He asked, his voice rising as he came to his senses and felt the anger building up inside him. He got up awkwardly from his position on one knee before her, folding his arms defensively as Hermione backed away.
"I, I thought you knew. We argue all the time, we never agree on anything," Hermione replied, smothering a hiccup mixed with a sob behind her hand as she avoided her now ex-boyfriend's gaze. "We're not meant to be together Ron, I can't possibly marry you."
He looked as though she had just shot him in the chest, and Hermione supposed that that was probably what he was currently feeling. She knew deep down that Ron understood what she was saying, that he too would later realise that he had been about to make a terrible mistake. But at that moment he was looking at her as though she had ruined his life.
Hermione was still backing away, where to she wasn't quite sure, when her side collided with the Weasley's china cabinet and a dinner plate fell from the highest shelf, shattering to pieces on the ground beside her.
The noise seemed to wake everyone up from their reverie and the other party goers began muttering amongst themselves, all eyes still on her and a devastated Ron Weasley.
Hermione choked out a sob and did the only thing she could think of in that moment, she fled. Running up the stairs to god knows where, as long as it was far away from the scene she had just created.
Draco Malfoy let out a whistle as the small brunette fled the party, sobbing as she ran upstairs.
"What the fuck did we just walk in on?!" Daphne spluttered from Draco's left side, and he couldn't help but grin.
"Possibly the greatest free entertainment since Pansy decided to do that strip tease for her 19th."
At this his ex-girlfriend groaned and slapped him on the arm, clearly not enjoying the memory as much as he was.
"You always bring that up and it drives me insane. At least I was wearing nipple pasties." She muttered irritably, her eyes still fixed on the spot Hermione had just vacated.
"Yeah and not much else." Blaise chirped, joining the group with a fresh glass of mead in his hand. "I can't believe we got to witness that though, I mean the poor bloke was literally down on one knee."
Draco snorted and shot Blaise a derisive glare.
"Since when did we care about Weasley and his problems? It was just a good show I would say."
"Since we played quidditch with him and his sister and realised they're not actually that bad." Theo pointed out, appearing as usual at the worst possible moment with a comment proving Draco wrong. Standard Nott. "Can't say the same for his girlfriend though, she's never bothered to speak to any of us."
"Yeah well, can you blame her?" Draco mumbled darkly, feeling the usual creeping cloud of shame and regret as he thought about the war and his quite significant role in it.
Seeing Hermione Granger and to a lesser extent her annoying friends was a mixed bag for him. On the one hand, when she inevitably embarrassed herself in a public and foolish manner like she had just moments ago, he was there to witness it. On the other he could barely look at the woman without remembering what his flesh and blood had done to her during the war.
Some memories were hard to evade, and Hermione's piercing screams as she lay on the floor of his drawing room was one of them.
"What was that?" Daphne piped up with a small smile which faded when Draco shot her a withering look in response.
Draco was beginning to hate how perceptive and bloody persistent each of his friends were. First it was Pansy forcing him out of isolation and back to society, now Theo and Daphne were trying reform him or something and get him to make amends with the people he'd hated since he was eleven. Not that they would ever succeed.
"You going to be my kiss this year Daph?" He changed the subject with a wink, causing the petite brunette witch to flush a delicate shade of pink. One hazy evening not too long ago he and Daphne had taken comfort in each other, and while they both knew it had meant nothing, Draco was enjoying holding it over her head whenever she got a little too nosy.
"You wish." Was her bitter reply, causing Theo to narrow his eyes and look at the two of them curiously. Daphne quickly decided to draw his attention elsewhere, offering to fetch him another drink so that he wouldn't ask any questions.
Draco smirked to himself as he sipped his own – there was no use trying to hide anything from Theo, he had a knack for uncovering whatever it was he wanted to know.
"Still can't believe it was Granger who dumped him, I mean I thought Weasley would get bored of her someday or another." Blaise commented thoughtfully, and Draco couldn't help but snort.
"Weasley could never do any better than Granger, she's not actually that bad looking." He responded, immediately regretting the words once they were out of his mouth. Blaise was giving him a funny look, and he hastily decided to backpedal. "Although I suppose with a personality as grating as hers I can see where you're coming from."
Blaise nodded slowly but still didn't look completely satisfied with his response. Draco groaned inwardly and resolved to just never speak about the Granger girl in front of his friends again – they seemed to want to assume he was interested in her because he had tormented her for so many years. His reason behind that wasn't suspect at all – he simply disliked the witch.
It was with this thought in mind that Draco made his excuses and began to move towards the staircase. It had been a while since he'd seen Hermione Granger – and while he had to admit she'd looked rather delectable in the short red velvet dress she'd been sporting, his only motivation for seeking her out was to torment her some more.
Just like the old days, Draco Malfoy thought to himself as he downed the rest of his drink and quietly climbed the stairs, listening out for the witch he sought who was undoubtedly crying in a bedroom somewhere.
He couldn't wait to rile her up even more.
It was ten to midnight and for the first time in several years on the 31st of January Hermione Granger was alone.
She had to admit the last few New Years Eves had been rather disappointing, Ron would inevitably be semi-conscious by midnight and kissing him had felt more like putting her lips onto a wet fish, but at least she hadn't been by herself.
She choked out another sob as she stared out of Ginny's bedroom window mournfully, feeling more than a little sorry for herself. Hermione knew she had made the right decision – she hadn't wanted the relationship to drag out any longer and make things awkward between her and Ron in the future. Although she supposed the way she had handled things would make things quite uncomfortable for the time being.
"What have I done?!" She moaned into her hands, replaying the clumsy way she had handled herself over and over in her head which was still swimming with alcohol.
"I was wondering that myself, actually."
Hermione leapt up from where she had been sat on the bed and immediately toppled back down. She made a mental note to avoid eggnog mixed with punch at the next party she attended. She closed her eyes in a mixture of confusion and dismay as the person who had just interrupted her pity party started to laugh.
"Wow Granger, I didn't take you for a light weight." Draco Malfoy grinned, closing the door behind him as he advanced on her curled up form on the bed.
Hermione held back another sob as the person she least wanted to see in the entire world – well, possibly second to Ron – entered the room, no doubt to torture her.
"Just go away." She mumbled in response, pulling her legs up into the foetal position as she wiped her tears away on the back of her hand. She knew she must look terribly pathetic, but she didn't much care. All she wanted was for him to leave her to cry in peace.
"I must say that was quite a display downstairs – I think my favourite moment was when you talked about your below average sex life." Although it was dark, Hermione could practically hear the smirk undoubtedly on his lips as he spoke.
She slowly pulled herself back up into a sitting position, carefully this time to avoid leaving her head swimming once again.
"I wasn't aware I would have such an audience when I finished with him." She retorted, sniffling a little as she spoke.
Draco Malfoy was a little taken aback – it was indescribably odd to see the Hermione Granger so vulnerable. He didn't think he'd ever see her cry.
"Yes well," He said awkwardly, the fire he had previously felt for bothering her had waned slightly. "It was a nice little bit of entertainment to ring in the New Year."
There was an awkward pause between them as fireworks popped and banged outside. He was waiting for her to say something, to defend her actions or insult him, but instead they just sat together in silence. Though it only lasted for a few minutes it felt like hours, and Draco was beginning to wonder if he should have followed her upstairs at all.
"I've made a mistake, haven't I?"
When she did speak it shocked Draco so much he almost fell back onto the bed like she had a few moments before. Before he could even think of an appropriate response, she continued in the same shaky and quiet voice she had before.
"I can't do any better than Ron. He was it, my only shot."
Draco flinched at her words, his mouth dropping open as she started to quietly cry once again. He realised at that moment just how much she'd evidently had to drink – there was no way she would have normally approached Draco Malfoy with her problems.
"Don't be thick, Granger, he was always the one punching above his weight."
His mouth snapped shut as soon as he'd uttered the treacherous words, the ones he'd been thinking pretty much ever since he'd first seen the two of them together. It was then that he realised just how much he'd had to drink.
She looked at him for the first time, her amber eyes were wet with unshed tears as she stared at him in confusion.
"Alright, don't over think it or anything I just mean that," He was cut off trying to explain himself by Hermione Granger launching forwards and pulling his face towards hers. Their lips met in a passionate kiss, and Draco was dimly aware of people cheering and shouting downstairs.
It was midnight.
Her hands were in his hair, her lips were slightly damp with tears and tasted of salt and eggnog, but her mouth had the flavour of fresh strawberries. It was intoxicating.
Hermione was dimly aware of his hands exploring her sides and gently stroking downwards towards her behind which was barely contained in her short dress that had ridden up over her thighs.
His mouth was warm and inviting, and when his hands brushed her bare leg she shivered involuntarily, pressing her small frame closer to his muscular chest.
This moment, this dark, emotional, uncertain moment was nothing like Hermione had ever experienced before. Everywhere his fingers touched it seemed he left scorch marks, his mouth was now exploring the soft skin above her collarbone, and her hands fisted in his soft blonde hair as she felt each movement with intense clarity.
It was explosive, it was pure passion, it was fireworks and hand grenades and adrenaline all at once.
It was ruined with the arrival of someone else at Ginny Weasley's bedroom door.
"Well, what a touching scene this is." Theodore Nott drawled, leaning casually against the door post with a smarmy grin plastered across his lips, the light from the hallway bathing the two of them in harsh reality.
Hermione and Draco jumped apart as though someone had tasered the two of them, and Hermione once again felt a wave of nausea and dizziness rush over her.
She heard Malfoy sneering something to Nott about a New Years kiss and bothering the Weasleys and realised that she couldn't be in that room any longer, not with either of them.
Hermione once again found herself fleeing a dramatic scene she had just created but could barely walk straight as she went, determined to put as much distance between herself and the man she had just kissed as her stomach roiled dangerously.
"Oh God," She mumbled to herself as she stumbled into the bathroom and locked the door, falling in front of the toilet as her head throbbed painfully. "I better not remember this tomorrow."
There we have it! The New Years Eve and their first ever actual kiss!
Like I said I realise this is a little break from the flow of the story, but I really wanted to write this in somewhere so I hope you don't mind too much :)
I should be back quite soon with the next installment, but please leave me your thoughts and comments in a review! I really appreciate it :)
Thanks again guys! (PS. Sorry if there's any typos, the spellcheck on my laptop crashed while editing :/)
