I hopped a cab as soon as I walked out of the airport. I gave him the address of Claire's apartment. It was closer, and I didn't want to take the chance of passing her. I tried her phone again, voicemail.
"Damn it Claire." I breathed. Ten minutes later he pulled up, and I saw Claire's car. I paid him and grabbed my bags, so thankful that I had decided to keep her apartment key on my key ring. I ran up the stairs and put the key in the door. I rushed in, seeing nothing but destruction in front of me. The apartment smelt of alcohol, and I saw the table turned over, the glass shattered, and the white dust all over the floor. As I walked closer to get a better look, I saw her legs on the floor. I rushed to her, seeing blood on her legs.
"Claire?" I asked, gently touching her shoulder. She jumped, as she looked up at me.
"PJ?" She mumbled.
I looked around, not believing what she had done. She hadn't drank like this in a year, and hadn't done drugs in longer than that. Now here she was, two days before our wedding, and not only was she drunk, she was stoned.
"What did you do?" I asked angrily.
Tears poured out of her eyes, and she tried to stand up, but her legs gave way and she fell back to the ground. She doubled over and pulled her knees up, laying her head on them. That's when I noticed all the glass stuck in her legs. The blood I had seen was from the broken glass that had once been the top of her table.
"Claire?" I asked, kneeling next to her. "What happened?"
"I called you, all day." She managed to get out, gasping for air.
"I needed you, and you weren't here."
"So you turn to drugs and alcohol?" I asked, I knew she could hear the anger in my voice.
"Why would you do this to us?"
"I didn't do it." She said softly. "I was going to, but I didn't."
"But why, Claire?" I asked, pulling her up onto the couch.
"You knew that I was really busy today. You knew that I wouldn't be able to call you." I took a deep breath.
"Is this because of the wedding? Is it too soon for you?"
Her head snapped up, and she glared at me. "No." She simply said, as tears continued to roll down her face.
I reached down and started brushing the glass from her legs. "Then why would you do this?"
"I swear I didn't do it. I promise PJ." She cried.
"Ok, I believe you, but why would you even have this stuff?" I asked.
"I heard your voicemails, at first you were so happy, but then... What happened?"
"Aunt Beth, she's dead." Claire said, leaning into me. I wrapped my arms around her.
"She's what?" I asked, hoping I had heard her wrong.
"She was in an accident. She died before they could get her to surgery. Uncle Donnie called. He said he got to talk with her before she passed, and she told him to tell me not to let this stop our wedding, and she loves me. How can she be gone?" Claire sobbed into my chest, as I held her tight. She pulled away from me.
"I'm an awful person. I don't know what happened. It's like I blacked out. I was numb, but then I was so full of hurt. I ended up back here with all this in front of me. Then I saw the razor. I had it to my wrist, Paul. But then I saw the sonogram. When I grabbed it, the laptop came on and I got your email. I should have known better. I should have never even thought. But I didn't think. I couldn't process what I was doing." She tried to get up, but her legs were still weak. Her body didn't want to process the pain in her, that along with hardly any sleep. She needed rest, and I knew it.
"Wait, the sonogram?" I asked, not knowing what she meant.
"That's what makes me so awful." She said, handing me a black and white flimsy paper.
"What is this?" I asked, not really able to make heads or tails of it.
"That's our baby." She said, fresh tears falling.
"That's why I've been so tired, and have no energy. I'm pregnant."
"Pregnant?" It took me a second to realize what she had said. A smile crossed my face.
"A baby? Our baby?" I almost laughed, but then I looked at Claire. She looked so devastated. I pulled her too me.
"Claire, things will be ok. We can postpone the wedding. Fly to Ohio for the funeral. I won't be upset. Everyone will understand."
"There is no funeral. She didn't want one. She will be cremated." Claire said, taking a deep breath.
"What kind of mother will I be, when I almost did this?" She asked.
"Claire, you were hurt. You didn't do it. You made the right choice." I smiled.
"Lets get your legs cleaned up and I'll take you home." I said, kissing her forehead.
Claire was resting comfortably. Her even breathing let me know she was finally asleep. She had cried herself to sleep. I had my arms around her, not wanting to let her go. We had talked about everything. The anger I had felt was gone. Joy had replaced it. The joy of knowing that we had a baby on the way.
Once I was sure I wouldn't disturb her, I gently slid her head off my chest and got out of the bed. It was late, but I knew I needed to call her uncle.
"I'm sorry to bother you so late, Donnie. But I just got home, I found Claire. She's really upset. I was just calling to see if there was anything I can do for you. Anything at all." I said.
"Things are taken care of." Donnie said.
I explained to him what I wanted to do, and he agreed.
"She will love it. Give her my love, and let her know that I will be thinking of her during the time of the wedding. Please make sure to send me a picture. I asked her, but I don't know if she heard me. She took it really hard. How is she doing?"
"She's resting now." I said, knowing that I needed to finish up what I was doing, and get back to her, before she realized I was gone.
I was up with the sun. Claire was still sleeping. I went down to the kitchen and started a pot of coffee, before heading to the shower. I pulled on a pair of shorts and a tank top. I had a lot to do today. As I stepped into the kitchen to pour a cup of coffee, the door bell sounded. I stopped what I was doing, rushing to the door, before the noise would wake Claire up. I smiled as I saw Cody standing on the doorstep.
"What are you doing here?" I asked.
"Well, Mostly because I wanted to check on Claire, but I figured you may need a hand with setting things up."
"Thanks. Claire's still sleeping. She had a very rough day. Her aunt passed yesterday." I explained.
"Wait, wasn't she like the only family Claire had?" Cody asked, as we each got a cup of coffee.
"Yeah. She took it really hard." I said.
"Her day was full of ups and downs." I smiled, thinking about the baby.
"What was that grin about?" Cody asked.
"You know if I tell you this before my mom, and she finds out, she'll kill me." I said.
"Ok, now you have to tell me." Cody said.
"Claire's pregnant." I grinned. "Just over a month."
"Congrats man." Cody smiled.
After we drank our coffee, we walked outside and started on the tasks for the day.
