It Sucks Being the Eldest: Jason Edition Part 4

Number 131: Broken Bones

Jason knew how stupid he had been but it didn't dull the pain anymore than what he was already doing which was hissing behind clenched teeth and swearing in all the languages he knew.

His leg was broken in three different places, he couldn't move an inch without wincing in pain, and Bruce was fighting Bane all by himself. Jason wasn't too concerned about his partner though, Bruce was used to taking out Bane, the all to obvious weak point (a series of tubes that fed into his brain), was causally ripped out and Bane was no more. Batman walked over to his Robin after the deed was done and frowned, lifting the boy into his arms as if he weighed no more than a feather.

"It could've been worse," Bruce said quietly.

"Oh? How so?"

"He could've broken your face."

Number 132: Omniscient

Jason's word to describe Alfred.

Number 133: Silverware

Jason is the prankster of the family, April Fool's Day is practically Doomsday; the only consolation is when he tries to switch the sugar with salt, Alfred always seems to "accidently" throw forks or knives into the wall beside Jason's head.

Number 134: "Old Man"

Alfred raised a dubious eyebrow and pulled the silver platter out from under his arm, brandishing it high before swinging it into Jason's face.

"Pardon me, Master Jason, my hand slipped. You were saying?"

"…Never mind."

"Of course, sir."

Number 135: Aftermath (for CataclysmicIrony)

Jason walked into the living room and fell into the couch, a hand massaging his nose and sticking Kleenex up his nostrils to stop the flow of blood, he heard someone chuckle beside him and looked up to find Bruce sitting there with the same predicament, the older man offered a smile and leaned back.

"What'd d'you do?" Jason asked nonchalantly, raising as eyebrow as Bruce snorted.

"Forgot to separate my clothes into piles. You?"

"Called him "old"."

"Ah." Bruce nodded his head understandably and the two of them sank into a comfortable silence until Bruce tapped Jason's shoulder, pointing to the butler as he moved towards the broom closet.

"Watch this." Alfred opened the door and hundreds of variously sized, incredibly bouncy balls toppled out and knocked the elderly man into the wall.

"That took me thirty minutes." Bruce stated proudly albeit a little smugly.

"You've got a lot of time on your hands then."

"Certainly enough to put some water balloons inside as well."

"Master Bruce!"

Number 136: First Meeting

"So what happened when you met Alfred?" Tim asked eagerly, Dick had just recalled how he barrelled into the butler's legs with a cheeky grin on his face as the two of them fell back into the pavement; Dick was always enthusiastic. Jason shrugged and flicked Tim's nose.

"Thing is, Alfred and me relive our first meeting almost on a daily basis. It went along the lines of "hey old man-"

Whack!

"Jesus, Alfred, that hurt!"

"So sorry, my hand slipped."

"Bullshit! You did that on pur-"

WHACK!

"-pose."

Dick leaned over and whispered in Tim's ear that Alfred didn't take too well to being called "old" or being sworn at; Jason did both upon his first glimpse of Alfred and the butler has continually hit Jason for his rudeness; the only difference is that back then, Alfred had a frying pan.

Number 137: Brothers (for Chaseha-Wing)

When Jason and Dick first met, they refused to be in the same room together; Dick felt he was being replaced and Jason thought Dick was an arrogant prick or stuck-up pretty boy. Yet as the years went by, both realized how similar they were to each other; only children, orphans, and desperately seeking Bruce's love and affection.

When Jason met Tim, there was instant hatred; now Jason was the one being replaced! Tim became Robin at 10, three years younger than Jason and Dick had been. Jason felt Tim was too young and innocent to be running around Gotham, so for the first year Jason did everything he could to discourage Tim from becoming the third Robin. In doing so, it only made Time more determined and all the more likable, showing off his wit, will, and pure genius.

And then there was Damian, a true Bat child. Six years old and a trained assassin, Jason wasn't sure if he should feel pity or threatened. There was also the fact that Damian was attached to Dick like Mary's little lamb, following him around and sometimes, if you were really lucky, he'd copy the older boy. Bruce spent enormous amounts of time with the little tyke, taught him and schooled him, displayed open affection towards his child. Jason was jealous. He felt betrayed and left out, why didn't he have a little someone that followed him around? Why couldn't Bruce have done that with him?

It explains why he shot Damian, he just didn't expect Tim to tackle him and demand he return home. Or that Damian would recover so easily and evidently forget the entire incident. Dick was concerned about all of them, dividing his time as best as he could between his brothers.

Later, he would hear it from Dick about how Bruce called all his Robins together to get Jason home. As an only child, the Batman did not have any sort of brotherly bonds, he had no one to protect and no one to look after him - except Alfred of course. But he knew that sibling bonds were valuable, Jason did come home with his brothers after all.

Number 138: Cookies

Dick bakes them.

Damian steals them.

Tim eats them when they can.

Jason devours them.

Number 139: Sibling Rivalry

That's what Jason likes to call it.

Tim calls it flat out abuse because he doesn't believe getting hung by his underwear and left outside in the rain "sibling rivalry".

Number 140: Smokes

Jason tapes them under his bed but Dick always finds them and throws them out, leaving a small note behind.

Pick a new hiding space, Jay.-Dick.