Chapter Eleven.

The biter cold of winter fell softly tonight in tiny delicate snowflakes as we walked the streets of the city making our way to the ball. As we drew close I almost regretted coming. The place was packed, people were filling in the doors by the hundreds.

"April...exactly how many people do you go to school with?" I asked, my voice shaky.

She just laughed. "Oh I forgot to tell you this is also a masquerade, I made you your mask for you." She pulled out three masks. A plain black on for Casey, and two others. April slipped hers on. It was dark purple, surprisingly it went well with the lavender dress for being a much darker color, and it had white feathers standing up on one side of it. Then she handed me my mask. It was black, like Casey's but April had cut out little designs, making it look almost like lace. It was gorgeous, you could tell she spent a lot of time on it. I took it with two hands.

"April...this is beautiful!" I said putting it on. "How do I look?" I said smiling.

"Trust me Alex, you look amazing." She said pulling both me and Casey up the steps to the ball.

When I walked inside I was awestruck. The time and effort put into the designs and decorations was prominent, signs of a regular high school gym hid beneath posters and streamers. I stopped walking just to take the extra time to look up at the ceiling decorations. Millions of tiny cutout snowflakes were suspended from the ceiling, hanging all at different lengths. It looked like falling snow, it was so beautiful. I felt someone's tiny fingers lace around my wrist and was pulled forward through the crowd.

"Alex! I though I had lost you already!" April shouted at me over the music.

"I'm sorry!...It's just I've never been to something like this before..." I wasn't focusing on April anymore, my eyes shifted around the room, looking at all the people that had poured in the gym. they were all in masks, all of them dresses to their best.

"C'mon, Casey saved us a table." She said as she pulled me with her. The table was the farthest away from the dance floor, probably picked for a reason. It was quieter back here, much quieter. Casey had his head down on the table, I assumed he was asleep. This kind of stuff didn't appeal to Casey. I knew the only reason he was here was for my protection, and he was already asleep on the job.

April and I sat at the table for probably a good hour just talking about life. We talked about Don and their relationship, it was funny watching Aprils face light up when she talked about him. They were good for each other.

"So what about you and big Red?" She asked, looking at me raising an eyebrow and smirking.

"Excuse me?" I said laughing.

"Come on Alex, stop trying to hide your feelings. I see right through you." She said still grinning.

"I do not like him, if that's what you're trying to get at."

"Sure. You know he was talking to me the other day about you..."

I raised my head to hers quickly, she caught this and registered it before I could hide my sudden interest. She smirked at me, again.

"Wh-what'd he say about me?" I asked trying to sound smooth and not too overly excited.

"Actually, I overheard him talking to Donnie about it."

I leaned in signaling I wanted to hear more.

"He said he really wants to tell you how he feels but he doesn't want to end up hurting you in the long run. He said something else but I couldn't really hear them after that."

"Are you sure that's what he said?"

"Ehhh...It was either Raph or Leo talking, couldn't really tell."

I just looked down at my hands in my lap. Leo or Raph? How could she not know. Maybe she was just toying with me, maybe she never even heard any of those things. April was the kind of person who liked to get in your head.

Before I could say anything back to April the dj's voice filled the room. "This next one's ladies choice, for that special someone. Grab 'em and get out here on the floor cause we're slowin' it down for a few songs."

"Casey come on!" April yelled in his ear. His head shot up from the table where it was resting. before he had time to register where he was he was dragged away by the ever persistent April O'Neil. I don't think they really thought this one through because I was alone at the table. I looked up at the skylight, the moon was bright tonight. Wait- what was that? I say a figure standing in the path of the moon. I couldn't really register who it might be, then I remembered the turtles were out tonight.

I decided to leave to table and go to the roof.


It didn't take me long to find the stairs that led up tot the roof. I took my heels off and started climbing. I pushed open the door that led outside and braced myself for the cold. I slipped my heels back on and proceeded to the skylight where I saw the figure.

I was right, well semi-right. The turtles were out tonight, but only one occupied the roof I was under. The one and only Raphael.

He walked out from the darkness. "Fancy meeting you here." He grinned. "Shouldn't you be down in the dance with April and Casey?" he asked, noticing I came alone.

"They ditched me as soon as the slow songs started playing." I said. "I don't dance anyway, just not my thing, ya know?" I said leaning against a heater.

"Yeah, I'm not a big fan of high school dances either." he said jokingly, I laughed getting his attention. I could feel him looking at me but I just looked at the moon. It was so much bigger out here than when I saw it inside, and it was even more stunning.

"Do you ever feel like you're heart is telling you one thing but your mind is telling you another?" I asked him out of pure curiosity, still starting at the moon.

"All the time." he answered quietly. I looked over at him. He was looking down at his sias, fiddling around with them.

"It's like I'm constantly fighting a battle with myself, My heart wants one thing, almost longs for it...but my head says no, don't do this, don't do that."

"Splinter always taught me when I was younger to follow your heart, because it's almost always what you really want deep down."

"Yeah but do you ever let your heart take the lead? I mean, I just don't trust myself enough I guess."

We were both looking out over the city now. It was lit up with street lamps and headlights, and the music from the dance drowned out the noise from the city.

"Maybe you just need to take a leap of faith." Raph said.

I swallowed hard. Raph was telling me exactly what to do. My heart was telling me exactly what it wanted, but my head kept a grip on me.

I looked at Raph. In the moonlight I could see the detail of his tough skin, and the indents where his muscles stood out along his biceps. I wanted to reach out and run my hand along them, but my brain said not to. He was not human...but neither was I.

"Raph, people like us...we don't belong out here."

"I know what you mean." He chuckled. "At least you're human."

"I'm not all human though. If people saw me for who I really am they'd run the other way." I said looking down at my hands, fazing them in and out of invisibility.

"I just want to live a normal life..." I said quietly.

"Tell me about it." He said.

There was a long silence before either of us spoke again. I was trying to figure out if I should leave to find April and Casey or stay up here. My mind told me to go back to the dance where it was warm and safe, but for once my feet stayed planted on the cement rooftop.

"Raphael?" I asked quietly.

He looked at me. "Yeah?"

"What are you thinking about right now?" I really was curious as to what was going on in my companies mind. He seemed less like Raph right now. There were no snide remarks or anger in his eyes, he was holding back on something. Then again, his brothers weren't here to irritate him. I looked out across the neighboring rooftops, I caught a glimpse of Mike, on his skateboard, and Leo silently watching over the city on the edge of a far rooftop. I couldn't spot Donnie, I assumed he'd be close by because of April, but then maybe I just couldn't see him. The brothers were so close, I could shout out to Leo and get a response, but at the same time Raph and I felt disconnected from the world. Like it was just us on the roof. There were no brothers or ballroom music. I felt completely alone with Raphael, and I was alright with that.

"Why do you wanna know?" He said half smiling.

"Just conversation I guess."

"Well, I'm thinking whether or not I should pummel Mikey to the ground when we get home for touching my comics, but I'm feeling generous tonight maybe I'll hold off on him." He said smirking looking out across the rooftops at his brother.

I just smiled.

"What are you smiling about?" He asked chuckling.

"You aren't as tough as you come off as." I said grinning.

"What? I'm the toughest one out of anyone here!" He said, getting a little defensive.

"Oh Raph, you have a soft side, just admit it." I jokingly nudged at him.

"Whatever." He said nudging me back a little harder.

"So, since you asked me, now I get to ask you. What's on your mind?" he asked looking out over the city.

I had hoped he wasn't going to turn the question round on me, but I was, at the same time wishing he would.

"Are you sure you wanna ask me that? I got a lot of issues on my head right now." I said half laughing.

"Let's hear it."

"Well I cant stop thinking about this certain thing, I finally went to Splinter about it and he told me to listen to my heart. I'm scared though. What if I take the chance on my heart and it doesn't work out."

I was scared, scared of Raph's rejection. It was ironic how we ended up on this rooftop alone together to talk about my feelings for him and how I should approach them, while he thought we were talking about something else all together. I wanted to confess everything right there, and just hug him. To touch him right now was what my body ached for most. I thought about what Raph might say or do if I confesses=d my feelings for him. My worst fear right now was him laughing in my face, telling me to fuck off like he did everyone else. But another part of me knew there was hope, that maybe if I confessed everything to him he'd be accepting, ad one day maybe return the feelings.

"I think you should listen to your heart then, just go for it."

"I'm terrified of what might happen."

"Taking chances is how we get over our fears."

I glanced over at him, his face was serious...he was actually giving me advice instead of joking around or being rude.

"What's your fear." I asked curiously. How could the toughest guy I know have any fears? I asked myself...but deep down we're all afraid, running from something.

"You just had to ask." He said half grinning.

"You know it."

He was silent for a while before he gave me the answer I was looking for.

"Love."

"Love?"

"My fear is never finding love. I mean people take one look at me and run away screaming. Look at me, I don't blame them." He dropped his voice, looking down at his three-fingered hands. I wanted to reach out and take his hand in mine, for this was my fear too.

"Rap-"

"That's why you gotta take chances Alex, because people like me? We don't get those shots you do."

His last words were my final push forward. I stepped towards him. sliding my hand across the cold raised wall of the outer rooftop.

"Raphael?" I said quietly. My mind was racing, yelling and screaming things at me. I held back for a moment considering that this may not be the best time to do this. I took a deep breath and washed the voice in my head away. My thoughts fell silent.

Raph unhooked himself from where he was leaning and turned towards me.

"Yeah?"

"Kiss me." I said, getting the words out before I had the chance to take them back.

"What?" he looked at me confused.

"kiss me..." I said quieter than before. Even my voice sent shivers down my spine. I could believe I was doing this.

Raph's eyes were confused, looking me up and down as if the person he was just standing next to a moment ago had miraculously changed into someone else.

I closed my eyes not wanted to see the look on his face when he realized what I was really asking him to do. I started to regret it all, I would take a taxi to the edge of town tonight and leave. Maybe I could go back to the south, or maybe Cali. I wanted to cry. I didn't want to leave but my own stupid actions caused my own demise.

Right before I opened my eyes I felt one hand on my waist, it pulled me forward and I followed obediently. I opened my eyes, and Raph was looking right into them as if he willed them to open. "Alex." He said under his breath.

He cupped my face in his free hand, lacing his finger in my hair. Then it happened, his mouth found mine. To my surprise his lips were soft and warm, this is when my mind started racing again. I was so in shock that it had actually happened I must not have been responding to the kiss because Raph pulled away.

"I thought that's what you wanted..." He said turning his back to me. I let my mind wash away again. I grabbed him arm and turned him back around. I hooked my arms up around his neck, locking him into my embrace, then pressed my lips against his. The warmness returned, and this time I responded to the kiss as I should have a moment ago. He laced his hand back into my hair pushing the back of my head towards him, I loved the aggression, it was a turn on.

As the kiss deepened, Raph opened up more. I let out a soft moan when he nipped at my bottom lip letting him know I was enjoying this.

We both pulled away at the same time, just staring into each others eyes. It was a long silence before he said anything.

"Alex, I've been wanting to do that for a long time." he confessed.

"Me too." I said shyly.

Suddenly the door busted open and out came April, and Casey. they both looked like they were in a panic, probably because they just realized I was gone.

"Alex! God so help me I'll rip your throat out if you ever do that again, the rules were stay with us!" April yelled out across the roof.

She didn't see me in Raphael's arms until the last minute. Raph suddenly released me when he realized we were no longer alone and we both stood there awkwardly.

When April saw this her expression lightened. "Oh did we interrupt something?" she teased walking over to us.

"That's what you guys get for leaving me alone at the table, what was I supposed to do?" I said accusingly.

"I guess you're right." She said. I heard Casey snicker something in Raph's ear and Raph responded by elbowing him in the ribcage.

"Ouch! It was a joke man..." Raph just laughed

"You're going to tell me everything tomorrow." April whispered in my ear.

I smiled at her. "Okay" I whispered back.


The ball wasn't ever yet so April and Casey went back down, ushering me to come along with them, but I had no interest in the dance anymore. That night I followed Raph and the other brothers home. Since I couldn't jump the rooftops in my heels, Raphael carried me. I didn't hold back on running my hands along his muscles now, he just looked down at me and smiled.

When we got back to the lair, Raph waited outside our room until I was changed.

"You can come in now!" I yelled through the closed door. A second later it opened and in came Raph. His eyelids were droopy, this was probably the latest he's stayed up.

"Goodnight." He said smirking at me through half open eyes.

"Goodnight." I said.

We didn't discuss what happened on the roof, but I knew this was the start of something amazing.

I fell asleep with the sensation of Raphael's kiss on my mind, it sent butterflies through my stomach and my body shouted "more! more!"

"Raph?" I said across the dark room in my bed.

"Yeah?" he said sleepily.

"You don't have to be afraid anymore." I said quietly to him.

"Thank you." He whispered back.


A/N: It finally happened! Tell me what you think. I love reading your guys reviews!

Thanks for reading!(: