THE DARKEST TIMELINE

Ivy Reeds walks into the study room as a drunk Shirley, one armed Jeff, and a slightly blue haired Britta storm out. Abed Nadir and Troy Barnes are wearing a felt Goatees. Ivy's gone fully goth and appears to have been crying. Mascara is running down her face.

IVY

I can't believe I had another father die. I should have come to your stupid party.

ABED

I should have caught the die.

IVY

I don't even know what that means.

TROY

(with the assistance of an artificial voice box )

We can't go back now.

ABED

We're going dark. We're Evil Troy and Evil Abed.

IVY

I don't get it.

TROY

You will.

ABED

Be evil with us, Ivy. Avenge your father.

Abed slides a felt goatee to Ivy. She puts it on.

IVY

I could be evil.

ADVANCED GAY

INT. GREENDALE STUDY ROOM

Britta Perry, Annie Edison, Abed Nadir, and Jeff Winger are sitting in their respective seats at the study table. Ivy Reeds walks in.

IVY

Mail delivery

JEFF

You deliver mail now?

IVY

Only to Annie

Ivy slides a package across the table. Annie squeals and begins unwrapping it.

BRITTA

Who's that from?

IVY

My brother. He's in Iceland for six months

JEFF

You're still dating that clown?

BRITTA

Yeah, I really dodged a bullet there.

Ivy smacks Britta's arm.

BRITTA (CONT'D)

Right. Your brother. Sorry.

ANNIE

We aren't doing long distance but...we still talk.

Annie holds up a pair of green jewel earrings.

ANNIE (CONT'D)

Look! They're locally made. Stanley chose green because it makes my eyes pop.

JEFF

Whatever. I've told you that like a thousand times.

ABED

(to Ivy)

Have you heard about Pierce?

IVY

(singing)

You mean how he has "a pocket full of Hawthornes?"

ABED

Right now he's preparing a case to sue Ubrana.

IVY

He's going to have a big problem with that.

JEFF

You think?

IVY

Urbana got permission from one of the shareholders.

ANNIE

How did she do that?

BRITTA

Yeah, aren't all the Hawthorne Wipe shareholders all white racist old dudes?

IVY

Except for one.

Ivy smiles and the group makes the realization.

JEFF

He actually gave you shares?

IVY

He wanted me to feel like part of the Hawthorne family.

The group doesn't say anything, but they exchange looks with one another.

IVY (CONT'D)

Don't look at me like I'm evil. It's catchy. Maybe it makes Pierce mad, but sales are through the roof.

ANNIE

I guess it's not so bad. As long as no one gets sued.

IVY

(to Abed)

Are we still on for tonight?

ABED

Yup.

IVY

See you later.

Ivy exits. The group turns to Abed in surprised.

BRITTA

Are you back together?

ANNIE

She forgave you and not me?

ABED

I don't think we're back together. We're just friends.

BRITTA

But it's a start.

Abed shrugs but gives nothing away.

INT. GREENDALE HALLWAY

Pierce Hawthorne is walking down the hallway with his father, Cornelius Hawthorne. Ivy Reeds in talking to Todd in the same hallway.

IVY

How's the turtle? Does your son like him?

TODD

Oh yes. I've got some adorable pictures of -

Pierce Hawthorne guides his father towards them.

PIERCE

(interrupting Todd)

Ivy! Meet my Father, Cornelius Hawthorne. Scram Todd.

Pierce and his father stand with Ivy, as Todd exits.

IVY

I was talking to him.

CORNELIUS

My oh my. Is this the girl?

IVY

Your father is Cornel Sanders?

PIERCE

This is my daughter, Ivy.

CORNELIUS

I see the resemblance to that woman you were seeing, but she's got the Hawthorne eyes.

IVY

But luckily not the racism.

CORNELIUS

And quite the mouth.

PIERCE

We wanted to let you know the party is off.

IVY

The Gay Bash?

CORNELIUS

Hawthorne Wipes will not have it's name sullied by the actions of a depraved community.

IVY

Pierce, come on.

CORNELIUS

Why does she not call you "father"?

PIERCE

It's a long story.

CORNELIUS

Does she have no respect?

INT. GREENDALE LIBRARY

Annie Edison is sitting at a desk, studying. She has a textbook open, a notebook, three different color pens, and two highlighters. Ivy Reeds throws herself in the chair next to her.

IVY

Do I need to be finished?

ANNIE

What?

IVY

Pierce's dad gave him a check to send me to finishing school. I'm mouthy and unladylike.

ANNIE

Yikes.

IVY

My first father didn't really like me, my second father is Pierce, and my new grandfather thinks I need to be finished.

ANNIE

Yikes. What's the female version of the "edible" complex?

Ivy laughs.

IVY

I missed you.

ANNIE

I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about what Pierce said. I just thought he was making things up. Friends again?

IVY

Yes.

The girls hug.

ANNIE

So are you dating Huey or Abed?

IVY

Neither.

ANNIE

Who do you want to date?

IVY

Dating boys is the last thing on my mind right now.

INT. GREENDALE CAFETERIA TURNED INTO THE GAY BASH

The Greendale Cafeteria has been turned into the Gay Bash sponsored by Hawthorne Wipes. There are streamers and glitter everywhere. It is more packed than any other Greendale dance. Pierce Hawthorne is talking to Jeff Winger when Ivy Reeds enters.

IVY

Pierce! I just wanted to say I'm really proud of you for doing this.

PIERCE

Really?

JEFF

(shocked)

Really?

IVY

Yeah. I know your dad was against it, but you stuck to your guns and threw an awesome party. So yeah. That's cool.

Ivy walks off towards Troy and Abed.

JEFF

See? Isn't that worth sticking it to your father?

PIERCE

Sticking it? Gay.

Pierce looks around.

PIERCE (CONT'D)

Which I fully support!

Pierce runs off into the party.

FUNERAL PARLOR - CORNELIUS'S FUNERAL

At the funeral of Cornelius Hawthorne, the study group sits in chairs, all wearing black. Next to Ivy Reeds is Annie Edison. Annie grabs Ivy's hands.

ANNIE

Are you okay? He was your grandfather.

IVY

I think so. I didn't really know him.

There is an uncomfortable pause. Both girls stare at the casket.

IVY (CONT'D)

My life has taken a weird turn.