"You're not wrong there. I really appreciate it," Gabrielle said. "I can drop off some money for you tomorrow at the store, sorry, I don't have enough on me right now."
Abigail wanted to groan in frustration. She felt like she had been trying and trying and trying to make some sort of breakthrough. Trying to get Gabrielle to understand that Abigail wanted to be around her, wanted to help her… She felt like she was going to tear her hair out. Obviously the point had still not landed. Her short temper got the best of her as she lashed out at Gabrielle, and regretted it instantly.
"Well, I don't fucking know why you wanted to be here!" Gabrielle snapped back. Abigail wanted to yell at Gabrielle for swearing at her, but she realized that she had every right to do that. I'm the one being a huge asshole right now, she thought. Abigail turned around and wrapped her arms tight, trying not to make it so obvious that she was arguing with herself in her head, and stupidly, too. She was upset because after their moment in the field last week, she had thought that maybe there was something there. Maybe Gabrielle wanted her around, maybe she had enjoyed the feeling that someone was there who didn't judge or want something from her just like Abigail had. She heard Gabrielle sigh with frustration.
"I just thought… I don't know what I thought. I can't tell with you. I thought maybe.. At the dance…" Abigail muttered. She was trying to get the words out, but her train of thought was quickly derailing. She didn't really know what to say. Abigail had only really sorted out her feelings that night and had chosen not to address the will-she-won't-she yet. She didn't want to choose wrong and be disappointed. "Maybe I was wrong."
"Wrong about what?" Gabrielle asked quickly.
"Wrong about how you felt." Abigail said. She turned around to look at Gabrielle. Please, just get what I'm trying to say, she thought. Please don't make this harder than it is.
Abigail watched Gabrielle. Her eyes were locked on Abigail, her mouth slightly agape as she processed what Abigail had said. She had hoped she had been clear enough. Clear enough to say that she thought it was clear that there was more than friendship going on between them, or at least there was in Abigail's opinion. Yet again, though, she had decided not to do anything. She was busy kicking herself for her indecisiveness when she thought she heard Gabrielle speak.
"What?" Abigail said. She heard her own voice crack from the emotion she was trying to hold back.
"You're not wrong."
Before she could process, Gabrielle's hand was snaking through her hair, the other pulling Abigail close until she could feel the heat radiating off of Gabrielle's body. It felt like someone had stolen all the air out of Abigail's lungs. She didn't believe that this would actually happen. Some little, terrible voice in the back of her head was whispering that this was wrong, that she couldn't ever actually have feelings like this for another person. She knew, though, when Gabrielle's lips touched hers and she felt Gabrielle's softness pressing against her own body, that the feelings she felt for Gabrielle were anything but platonic.
The kiss itself felt like it was over before she could even get a sense for it. Gabrielle pulled away, still holding onto Abigail's petite frame, while searching her eyes as if she'd find an answer there. Gabrielle's stare was intense. Abigail could only look back at her before turning her head from shyness. It wasn't her first time kissing another person, but it was the first time she had actually kissed back. Abigail heard Gabrielle whisper her name as she gently rubbed her back like she was trying to coax a response out of her. Abigail's heart was racing as she looked up at Gabrielle. She smiled a little smile before closing her eyes and kissing Gabrielle. Her breath was rattly and quick, but her hands were strong and steady as she pulled Abigail in tighter than she did before. Abigail wrapped her arms around Gabrielle's waist. She needed to feel the softness again, she wanted to feel Gabrielle's heartbeat against her chest.
This kiss was not like the last one. It was as if kissing Abigail awoke some fire within Gabrielle. She moved her hands to Abigail's lower back, holding her tight, as she leaned over to kiss Abigail more deeply. Abigail felt Gabrielle's tongue slip between her lips and she extended her own to meet in the middle. Gabrielle's mouth was salty with sweat and the hot summer air. The two girls kissed each other with a fiery intensity. Gabrielle feverishly groped Abigail's ass and lifted her up, supporting her with both hands as she carried Abigail up the porch steps.
"Gabby..." Abigail murmured between feverish kisses as the other girl latched onto her neck and sat on the wrought iron chair that sat on the deck. The way Gabrielle had sat them down was so provocative; Gabrielle, with a firm grip still on Abigail's ass, and Abigail, with her legs wrapped around Gabrielle's waist, hands grabbing at her hair. Gabrielle kissed and bit gently as she made her way down Abigail's neck to her collarbone. Abigail breathed in sharply and exhaled, moaning softly. She gripped Gabrielle's shoulder blades as sher fingernails sunk into her pale skin. Tongues clashed again as their lips met for the last time.
The feverish, passionate kissing slowed as Gabrielle caught her breath. Carrying Abigail up the steps after her long day must not have been easy, Abigail thought. But when Gabrielle pulled away to look Abigail in the eye, Abigail swore she saw more fire in her eyes than before. She tenderly placed her hands on Gabrielle's cheeks, fingers running over her freckled cheeks. Gabrielle's hands ran up Abigail's back as she sat with her still in her lap. Abigail leaned over to put her head on Gabrielle's shoulder as both girls breathed deeply and heavily. Gabrielle gently stroked Abigail's back, making her shiver.
"No, no…" Abigail said, squirming against Gabrielle and laughing quietly. Gabrielle sighed as she leaned her head back against the chair. It was the first time Abigail had seen her really relaxed. With Gabrielle there always seemed to be some level of anxiety or inkling of stress. She could always see it in on her face. But now? Gabrielle was simply smiling, eyes closed. Relaxed.
"What are you looking at?" Gabrielle said, eyes still closed. She smirked slightly.
"I'm looking at you," Abigail whispered, leaning back. She was still sitting in Gabrielle's lap, but she was beginning to wonder when that would no longer be welcome. Abigail tried to get up, but before she could do so, Gabrielle rested her hand on Abigail's thigh.
"Stay," Gabrielle muttered. She placed her hands on Abigail's thighs, pulling her closer.
"Aren't you hungry?" Abigail said. Gabrielle just grumbled in response, scrunching her face in a frown. Gabrielle opened her eyes to look at Abigail. Abigail could feel the heat in her cheeks as Gabrielle stared at her with a coy smile on her face. She looked down at her hands, which were resting on top of Gabrielle's.
"Yeah…" Gabrielle said with a whine.
"Pierre's?"
"Yeah…" Gabrielle whined again. When she looked at Abigail, Abigail could sense she had something on her mind. It was like she was being examined. Instead of asking, she decided that Gabrielle would tell her if something was on her mind. She didn't know if now was a good time after the emotional upheaval of their makeout session. Gabrielle went inside her house with Abigail on her heels.
"I feel like I should probably change my shirt," Gabrielle said. After grabbing a handful and sniffing it, she made a face that made Abigail giggle. "Yeah, this is definitely coming off." Gabrielle turned away from Abigail, walking into her bedroom as she stripped off her t-shirt. Abigail felt like she was going to swallow her tongue. She never thought she'd see Gabrielle this unwound. Abigail watched her walk away, shoulder muscles rippling under smooth, freckled skin. The huge purple dahlia centered in between her shoulderblades danced as she walked away.
"Your tattoo is beautiful," Abigail said. Gabrielle walked back into the living room with a new, fresh, white v-neck on. Her tanned skin and dark eyes were lit up by the brilliant shade of white, as well as the smile on Gabrielle's face. "And so are you," Abigail added.
Gabrielle smirked a half smile at Abigail before looking away. Although Abigail couldn't see her eyes, she could see the grin on Gabrielle's face. Abigail wanted to kiss her again, but was afraid that if they collided the same way they did before that they might never make it out for dinner.
"Hey, you can change too, if you want. Bottom drawer has my shirts," Gabrielle said as she poured herself a glass of water.
"Oh, thank God. I smell like ass." Abigail said with a laugh.
"I can safely say that you definitely don't smell like ass," Gabrielle said with a laugh, touching Abigail's hand.
"One second," Abigail said. She felt mildly embarrassed that she didn't have the guts like Abby did to just strip half-naked in Gabrielle's living room like she did; even still, she was taken aback by the new level of comfortable Gabrielle seemed to be expressing. Maybe she was like Abigail in that way- Abigail always thought it was easier to make a big decision if you didn't think about it at all. Probably not healthy, she told herself, but whatever.
She left the door cracked behind her as she went into Gabrielle's room. It clicked in her head that this was the first time she had ever been in Gabrielle's room, let alone her house, and to top it all, unsupervised. She bit her lip as she told herself to just grab a clean shirt and leave, but she couldn't help but look around… Curiosity had always been her master.
The addition to the shack blew her mind. Gabrielle must have worked her ass off for it, which explained why Abigail only saw her either at the store or at the saloon on Fridays. There was a huge window facing out to the farm on one side and an enormous, cozy bed at the other end. The walls had been painted a pale lavender, with big, black curtains hanging around the window. Black and white photographs adorned the walls, with a huge bookshelf lining an entire wall. Abigail could have stood there for an hour reading the titles and wouldn't have finished, there were so many.
"Are you alive in there?" Gabrielle said from outside.
"Oh, sorry! One second." Abigail said, rushing to grab a shirt from Gabrielle's dresser. On top, there was a photo frame, face down. Don't look. Don't look. Don't look. Abigail gritted her teeth and picked up the frame to peek at the photo. It was a blonde, older woman, with her arm around a lanky teenager. While the woman was smiling, her eyes were bleary looking and melancholy. Who that sad-looking woman was, Abigail didn't know, but she remembered that Gabrielle mentioned having a younger brother. Was that woman her mother?
"I'm gonna leave without you…" Gabrielle teased. Abigail nearly dropped the photo, struggling to set it down exactly the way it was before. She grabbed a random shirt out of the drawer and pulled it on over her head, throwing her old shirt in Gabrielle's hamper. She rushed out, smiling a little too eagerly.
"Have fun in there…?" Gabrielle said skeptically.
"A blast. I loved rearranging all your books," Abigail snickered.
"You better fucking not, it took me all day after the expansion to set that shit up," Gabrielle said, raising an eyebrow. Abigail laughed nervously as she scratched at an itch on her arm. Itchy… Her brain was itching too, but she tried to ignore it. She felt guilty for snooping, guilty for discovering things about Gabrielle before Gabrielle could make the choice to tell her. This was the second time now. She wondered how big she could build the snowball of snooping before it fell apart and Gabrielle inevitably discovered Abigail's woeful curiosity. First, Gabrielle's emotional breakdown on her porch, then the picture, Abigail felt like any more snooping and she would eventually let something slip that would bring it all crumbling down. She tried to swallow, but the dryness in her throat only caused her to go into a coughing fit. Gabrielle went and got her a glass of water while Abigail tried to compose herself mentally.
"Are you ready to go?" Abigail asked, ready to get out of that house before she found other things she didn't need to see.
"Yep," Gabrielle said, holding the door open for Abigail as they stepped out into the suffocating heat. She stopped at the edge of the deck, looking out at the fruits of the day's labors.
"I couldn't have done this without you. Thank you," she said, pulling Abigail close and holding her hand before sighing happily.
Guilt clinched Abigail's guts, squeezing tighter. "Come on, let's go." She said, pulling Gabrielle off to town. Before I come unglued, she thought.
