Hey guys.
So I got a lot of reviews for the last chapter. Many of you questioned the "it doesn't make sense without you" and the "I need time" statements. I hope the next chapter clarifies my thoughts a little. I appreciate everyone who takes time to review! Thank you.
The next chapter might be the last one. I'm not sure. Anyway, I have a new story in mind.
Would love to read your thoughts.
Sorry for my English mistakes!
Enjoy!
He sat on the couch and stared at the coffee table. The pile of letters was lying on it. She asked him to read them. He was tired but he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep without reading them.
Ho took the pile and placed it beside him on the couch. He pulled out one letter, he sat cross-legged, leaning against the couch, took a deep breath and opened the first envelope
"it has been a while since I wrote to you. Or maybe to myself. So I met this guy and we've been seeing each other for the last month. He is a writer. He is really interesting. In fact, He is amazing. He's smart and talented and we have so many common interests.
So why do I wake up every morning feeling this void inside of me? It's feels like everything was one big lie. It feels like I'm pretending I'm happy. And I cannot pretend anymore. I smile, but it's not real. I got to the point where I prayed that I could figure it out so I can fix it. I do not want to feel that way anymore.
He asked me earlier today about my past relationships.
And I just... I couldn't speak. He doesn't know about you. I don't think I'll ever tell him. How do you tell something like that?
I fell in love with you and you broke my heart. "
His heart skipped a beat and he looked at the words for a long time. He closed his eyes. Maybe reading the letters now wasn't such a good idea. He decided to read another one
"This day was exhausting. Both physically and mentally.
There was a serious car accident and many people got injured, so it was extremely busy at the hospital today. But it wasn't the hard part ... today of all days I kept seeing you everywhere.
Joel came to see me at work and I couldn't talk to him. Oh, Joel is the guy I'm dating .the writer.
He wanted us to do something together tonight but I told him I was tired. This was partially true. I really enjoy him because we love the same things, our interests are similar. We do a lot of things together. I'm very fond of him. He's a great person.
We ended up watching a movie at my place.
He told me he loved me. And I told him back"
Reading about Joel was the last thing he wanted to do at this time. He was about to give up and go to sleep, but he decided against it and went to open another letter
"I guess you've got the message, and you know I'm not coming back. I'm sorry it had to be done this way. But I cannot think of any other way ... It's not that I can call you to tell you. Not a chance. I have a boyfriend now; we've been together for almost 3 months. I really love him. As a person, as a good friend, as a conversation partner. He's a great guy.
But there is one problem.
I fell in love with you, Wade. And I don't think I could ever love anybody as much as I love you.
Remember when you kept teasing me about George? It sounds so silly now that I think about that time. George is a great guy too. But when I remember what I felt for him, it was nothing. I built it all in my head. And even though we are quite the same, for some reason, it's always been you who really got to see me. The real me...
I needed you just as you needed me.
It's always been you. I have a feeling it will forever be you.
But I have decided. And the best thing right now is to stay away"
He swallowed hard. Suddenly he heard a knock at the door. He lifted his head and saw her standing at the entrance. He opened the door for her.
She stood there wearing her short shorts and a T-shirt, no makeup at all and with her hair pulled. She looked like she just woke up from sleep, which may be the truth because it was 3 o'clock in the morning.
"I hope that's okay. I saw the lights on so ..." she said hesitantly
"Yes, of course" He stepped aside and let her get inside. She passed him and went on her way to the couch, "What are you doing awake?" She asked when she noticed the pile of letters on the table. Her eyes immediately moved to the sofa and saw one of the letters on the couch. "Oh," she paused. She took the letter in her hand and began to skim over the text. He stood in front of her, rubbing his neck, not knowing what to do. She noticed that, she picked up the rest of the pile and threw it behind the couch. He narrowed his eyes "Um ... I thought you wanted me to read them"
"I wanted. I still do. But what I want to say is more important now. About what you said earlier -"
"Wait, can I say something before?" He looked with pleading eyes almost
She smiled slightly and both sat on the couch, close enough to see each other properly and far enough to not touch.
"I want to explain. When I said that I don't trust you ..."
She lowered her eyes.
"You have to understand something ... you never told me how you really feel " he continued
"You know how I feel," she interrupted
"Maybe ... maybe I need to hear it"
She closed her eyes. She knew he was right. That's why she found herself uncomfortably tossing and turning in bed tonight, unable to sleep. She wasn't calm. She gave him all the letters to read. She wanted him to know what it said. To understand a little what she'd been through all those months. But was it enough? She felt uneasy, as if there was a ticking bomb over her heart which could explode at any moment. She thought about their last conversation. He asked for some time. She was willing to give it to him, but why? She wanted to understand why he would need more time.
"Why is it so hard for you to say it?" he whispered
She took a deep breath and opened her eyes.
"The reason I wanted you to read the rest of the letters was so you'd understand that you were always the one. It's always been you. No matter what happened, who happened... But as I lay in bed tonight, I suddenly realized it was not enough."
She took his hand in hers
"It's the first time in my life where I really mean it. I just didn't know how to deal with all the this feelings"
She saw that he listened, his eyes were fixed on her, and every fiber in him listened to her
"I left New York because I ran away. I thought that the reason that my life seemed so messy was you ... I left with an incredible pain. I didn't know what to do with it and I let the pain take over me. Then Joel came. And I did everything I could to bury my true feelings. And at some point I felt that I did it, I succeeded. But it all fell apart as soon as I got back here. As soon as I saw you, I knew it couldn't last. But I kept insisting and I pretended I was happy. But inside, the pain was unbearable. "He squeezed her hand tightly, as if he was afraid she was going to stop talking and he wanted to encourage her to continue. And she did.
"I think back on everything ... George, Joel ... it was nice. Safe. In my head I built an illusion of such great love ... but it was nothing. But you, Wade, God, you're so different. Everything in me screams that I love you" She was smiling now as she said each word, as if a great weight was lifted from her heart. This was the truth, a truth that came from deep inside of her. She realized there is nothing stronger and powerful than the truth.
"So here, now you know. I love you," she took a deep breath. Her voice sounded more calm and confident than ever.
Telling Zoe he loved her was one thing. But hearing her say she loves him? It nearly took away every ounce of self-control that he had. He loved her desperately. In the deepest way possible. She found her way into his life, his heart, his soul.
He pulled her close and kissed her as if his life depended on it.
"I love you too, Doc," he whispered against her lips. They broke up only when the lack of air began to be a problem.
She pressed her forehead to his
"I'm done trying to stay away from you. So done," she kissed him gently. He smiled
"Me too."
