EW. School starts up again on the 31st and I'M NOT READY TO LEAVE MY LEISURELY COMPUTER LIFE. Ahhh, wish me luck with junior year~

Also slow updates because I'm trying to finish up all my summer projects (two down, one to go!) and I'm still constantly sick/allergic/menstruating even though I don't complain about it.

LOL I HAVE NEW SHEETS ON MY BED. THEY'RE EIFFEL TOWERS AKA FRANCIS'S PENIS HEHEHEHE.

Uhm, Waterwings;

"Pig pile on Mommy and Daddy!" Peter announced, taking a running leap and landing himself on Gilbert's back, causing him to lose his balance and topple over onto Matt.

"Uff!" Peter wasn't a big kid, but he'd really gained momentum with the running start. "Hey, Peter, how about you're only allowed to do this when Mom and Dad are fully clothed?" Way to kill the moment, kid…

Oblivious to the deep blush the Canadian was wearing, Peter bounced off with a cheery, "Okay!"

As Gilbert peeled himself from Matt, he heard a high-pitched squeal that could have only come from Felicia Vargas. Curious as to what the hype was about, the two ventured out to the porch (after replacing their shirts), where they could see the girl dancing about, jabbering into a phone.

"All righty, can't wait to see you, honey~! Hasta la pasta!" she touched the 'end' button and pranced back inside.

Matt turned to Gilbert, who was turning pale- paler than usual, anyway. "Shit, shit, shit…" he cursed repeatedly, starting to pace back and forth.

"What's wrong?" Matt asked cautiously.

"She said honey, which means her boyfriend, which means my brother!" There was urgency in the albino's voice.

"I don't see what's so bad. My brother's been here at camp this whole time," Matt pointed out. Sure Alfred was annoying and nosy, but he wasn't apocalyptic or anything.

"You don't understand. This is the kind of guy that dates Felicia. Do you see what I mean?" Gilbert gripped Matt by the shoulders, shaking him back and forth. The image Matt got was something like Ken Carson (A/N YES, Ken as-in-Barbie's-boyfriend has a last name.).

"Ohh, I see," Matt fibbed with an overdone nod. "I'm sure Feliks will let you stow away in the infirmary."

Gilbert looked blank for a moment, then a lightbulb seemingly went off in his head, and he made a beeline for the nurse.

"Wait! Gil! I was kidding! Gil!" Matt chased after him.

It only took a can of beer to coax the counselor (who had been busying himself eating cotton balls and sucking on tongue depressors) from the bathroom.

"You suck, you know that?" Gilbert took the can and emptied its contents easily. He discarded the thing with a toss over his shoulder into the wastebasket, drawing complaints about the environment 'totally' not needing that from Feliks. During the rant, Gilbert had shifted towards the screen door, and was watching in horror as a sleek black car pulled in to the camp, stopping by Felicia's cabin. "He's here already?" The albino burst out of the infirmary, flailing his arms.

"Not again…" Matt sighed, following Gilbert all the way to the waterfront, where he found him in a Spaniard's arms, rescue-the-princess style. Lovino sat in the sand, scratching a picture with a stick, casting glares at the two.

"Hola, Matt!" Antonio always liked to greet his friends in Spanish. "How are you?"

"I'm… fine?" He gave a questioning look to the pair, especially aimed at Gilbert, who was now sucking his thumb. "I was, ah, more concerned about Gil," he pointed, though he was fairly sure that Antonio knew who his close friend was.

"Si! He is quite unwell, you see, and I may have to take him to Nurse Feliks," Antonio nodded.

"Gilbert, if you go back up there, you'll probably meet up with your brother," Matt pointed out with a roll of his eyes. All he was doing was avoiding him! He'd have to see this mystery brother at some point during his visit! Really, how bad could he be?

Gilbert let out a yelp (a very manly yelp) and dropped out of Antonio's arms. "No! I'll dodge him as long as I can!"

"For God's sake, potato bastard, get a grip!" Lovino offered his expertise in the conversation, hurling his stick (more like a twig) at Gilbert. It hit the target, snapping in half over the bridge of his nose.

"Ow, what the fuck!" Gilbert picked up a stone, and poised ready to throw it, but Matt stepped in front of him, and he relaxed. He dropped the rock and threw his arms around Matt in a binding hug. "Ha! Now you can't force me to go anywhere!"

But of course, they heard footsteps on the path to the waterfront, and Felicia's voice. "Lovi said he was coming here with Tonio~" she sang. "So romantic! We should go sailing, too, don't you think?"

"Shit! I'm going to hide underwater!" Gilbert started to bolt again. Before somebody could catch him by the collar of his shirt, a thick German accent stopped him in his tracks.

"Bruder?" Ludwig raised an eyebrow at his older sibling. This was Gilbert's dreaded younger brother? Well, he was slightly terrifying, with his height and build and all. Felicia clung to his arm, tracing the lines of his muscles with her finger. "What is it? You don't owe me something, do you?" he asked with a very penetrating, serious glance. Or at least it felt that way to Gilbert.

"Noooooo…" Gilbert dragged out the word suspiciously. Matt's glance darted between the two.

"So you do owe me something, but it isn't it? I'm not in the mood for games, Gilbert," Ludwig narrowed his eyes.

"Would you be in the mood for a different kind of game?" Felicia asked hopefully, but her question was left unanswered.

"Well…" He bit his lip, shifting his glance. "Can I tell you later?"

"No. Now." Ludwig's expression said that it was nonnegotiable.

Gilbert sighed, then crossed the space separating him from his brother, then stood on his toes to whisper in his ear. "I don't want you screwing up my chances with Mattie," he breathed. Matt stood with his back to the camp, watching the little ripples on the lake.

Ludwig gave a short laugh, though his expression almost immediately returned to flat and serious. When he replied, it was in a normal speaking tone, not bothering to return the whisper. "Bruder, if family really was a problem to anyone, I would have left Felicia a long time ago."

"Bastard!" Lovino threw another stick, this time aimed at the other German.

Oblivious to the stick that broke over her boyfriend's chest, Felicia only snuggled closer to him. "Aw, I would have left you, too, Luddy~ Did I ever tell you about what Gil-"

"Did that was so very nice?" Gilbert cut in. "I planted some flowers in front of the girls' cabin!" Seeing the flaw in his plan, which was that there weren't any flowers in front of the cabin, he made a (non)subtle gesture to Matt to go run off and make it happen.

Confused, Matt slinked off with a sigh to patch the hole. Before he could get too far, he bumped into Feliks and Toris, looking slightly disheveled and carrying a guilty-looking Peter.

"Does this thing, like, belong to you?" Feliks demanded.

"Um," Matt answered.

"Because he was totally spying on us! Like, I don't know what he was looking for-" Feliks flapped his hands angrily as he spoke.

"You two look like you just had sex." Gilbert stated bluntly.

Toris flushed a deep red.

"What's sex?" Peter piped up.

"Don't even pretend you don't know, kid. You get away with way too much." Gilbert narrowed his eyes. "Come on, you're going straight back to your room- er, cabin. Bunk. Something. You've got time out. And no more spying!"

Felicia giggled. "Aww, he's learning from Auntie!"

"Since when have we become a family?" Ludwig wanted to know.

They decided to leave him in the dark.

Polling time again~! AKA it's a way to get the review count up because this is an open ended type one. Felicia wants to adopt a child. Who or what should it be?

REVIEWS ARE TO MADDIE AS CHOCOLATE IS TO MENSTRUATING WOMAN. PLEASE REVIEW.