Hello again friends. You have all been so unbelievably supportive and lovely towards me about this fic. You all seem to be enjoying it, and I am so grateful. So, here we are with part 11.
And Elliot finally finds out what happened in the basement.
WARNING: MAY CONTAIN TRIGGERING CONTENT. PLEASE READ AT OWN RISK.
Enjoy xoxo
Back To You
Part 11
Olivia froze, Elliot's voice swirling through her head once the dreaded question fell from his lips.
'What happened in the basement?'
Elliot had never truly known what happened to her, because she never told him. It had probably been a decade now and though they had grown considerably closer in those last few years where he was her partner, she still had not confided in him about what happened to her. Sure, she attended the therapy sessions – off the record of course as she did not want anyone within her unit or the whole of NYPD to know – but as far as confiding in anyone else, that did not happen. She knew then that Elliot deserved to know the truth but fearing that he would be disappointed in her or begin to look at her as if she could not do her job, she chose not to disclose to him.
It seemed that, that option was now no longer on the table. Now that she had revealed that Harris had inhabited her nightmare as well, she knew that she could no longer keep this dark secret from her former partner. She just hoped that he would not be angry with her for keeping this away from him.
"Liv-"
"El, are you…are you sure you want to know?" her voice was thick, full of emotion and nerves. Her browns poured into his blues, and he gave a simple nod of the head in response to her question.
"I know something happened, it was obvious, you just never told me."
"I know, and I'm sorry," she flicked her gaze from his eyes to her hands in her lap, "I just…I was ashamed." She drew her bottom lip in between her teeth, her teeth sinking into the pouty pink flesh.
She felt his large hand close around one of her tiny ones, his thumb stroking against her soft skin.
"Tell me." His voice was full of concern, and that alone caused tears to pool into her sparkling eyes.
"The prison went into lockdown because of that tuberculosis outbreak, remember hearing about that?"
Elliot nodded, so she continued;
"I just thought the prisoners should know about these things because no one was saying anything, and so as I always do, I opened my big mouth. Either way, I was accused of starting what they called a riot, and Harris came and grabbed me. I thought he was leading me to the hole or to my cell or something, but when I realized we were going in the wrong direction, I knew there was no turning back. He led me into the basement – I can still smell it Elliot; it smelled like death and ammonia, it was dark, and it was cold, and there was an echoing sound of water dripping from somewhere; I can almost hear it."
She swallowed the nerves that threated to consume her, keeping her gaze fixated on their joined hands as she continued to speak;
"I tried to apologize, and I asked him what he wanted. He told he wanted what every guy wanted, and I was going to give it to him, said we were gonna have a good time. When I saw the bed, I panicked; my heart was beating like crazy; I knew what could happen, but I knew I had to fight. I promise you Elliot, I tried so hard to fight him. He threw me onto the bed, had me up against the wall; I tried to fight him but that only excited him. I was screaming for help, and no one could hear me, and I was so scared, but once he took the cuffs off, I punched him and ran. I didn't know where I was going; I just ran somewhere and hid behind some boxes. I just thought maybe I could buy time until he had his back to me, then maybe I could blitz him and run or something – I was trying so hard."
Her vision became clouded with tears; a couple of them spilled down her cheeks and dripped onto their hands. Elliot squeezed her hand before rubbing her skin once more with his thumb, trying his hardest to keep his rage at bay as it was starting to rise within him. He almost wanted to tell her to stop as he could see that it was difficult to be discussing this again, but he wanted to know what happened, and he knew that having this information would be crucial to understanding her nightmare when she wanted to talk about it.
"He kept looking and he finally found me, and he hit me with his baton – on my stomach and my back. I managed to hit him in the groin before running again. I can still feel the pain of that iron door as I banged my hand against it, I can almost hear my screams echoing as I tried to scream for help. Harris got me, and he slapped me and made me fall. I was running out of fight then, but I kept trying. He cuffed my hand to the bar on the door, then unzipped his pants."
"Olivia-" he began. However, he paused when she held up her hand.
"He told me that if I bit him, I was dead. I just kept thinking that this was it, that I was as good as dead and that I would never see any of you all again. You were especially my last thought, I just wanted to see you, I wanted you to save me."
She let out a sob, her body shaking slightly as she let the tears flow freely down her face;
"He grabbed my face, tried to force himself into my mouth. Fin got there just before he could do it and got him away from me. That's why I started seeing a shrink outside the NYPD, why I was so distant, and why I was a mess that night when you asked me what happened. I was still trying to recover from what happened to me, telling myself that it was my fault for even going undercover in that shithole. I'm sorry I didn't tell you; I thought you'd be disappointed in me or think I couldn't do my job. It's haunted me every day since then, Elliot; I've never really gotten over it, being honest, and the fact that he's out roaming this city and the fact that he called my office, the fact that he knows things about me like that I have a son, it's bothering me. And that dream, with him and Lewis there, it just felt so real and I just – I can't do this."
And with that, Olivia finally collapsed into a heap of sobs. Elliot pulled her against him quickly, the sounds of her sobs being muffled as she buried her face into his chest once again. He ran his fingers through her soft, wavy locks, his strong arms locked around her in a comforting embrace as he held her tight against his body. The vein in his neck was pulsating and there was rage coursing through him like a raging wild fire, but he had to put that aside for a minute. His main focus right now was getting Olivia to calm down and to get her breathing steady. He rubbed her back, peppering light kisses to the top of her head, whispering that she was safe now and that he was here, whilst also telling her that it was okay when she kept murmuring some apologizes for not telling him so long ago.
After about ten minutes, she finally lifted her head a bit though she remained close to him. He kept his arms around her, soothingly stroking her back. She rested her head on his shoulder, breathing in the scent of his aftershave which gave her that feeling of safety. As much as she tried to tell herself to be cautious around him, especially given how he only just got back into her life, she couldn't help this right now. She needed him, as much as it killed her to admit – she needed him so much, especially in this moment. The way his arms locked around her, the way his lips brushed against her forehead every now and then, the way he kept whispering that he was there, and she was safe now; it caused her heart to beat faster and gave her a feeling of warmth.
Elliot was always what she needed. It scared her, but it was true.
They sat in silence for a further half hour, the time slowly creeping closer to five in the morning as they relaxed on the sofa together. Olivia had no idea how she was going to make it with going to work in a couple hours; part of her actually wondered if she could get away with taking the day off as there was no way she was going to survive with only having about four hours sleep or however much she managed to get before that nightmare woke up. However, another part of her knew that she had to go to work and work with her team to catch Harris. He couldn't go down for assaulting her because truthfully, she wasn't pressing charges; she wanted to forget it ever happened. However, she was going to get justice for Maureen and Kathleen, even if it killed her.
"Liv."
Elliot's voice brought her from her thoughts; she tilted her head on his shoulder, so she could look at him. He was looking down at her with a look in his eyes that she couldn't quite read. He was still stroking her back in a soothing fashion, but she could see the fire in his eyes. He was angry – maybe not with her or anyone – but at the situation as a whole. She just hoped he could control himself, because she knew how Elliot was when he was angry, and it wasn't a pretty sight.
"I would've never thought any less of you, you know that," his voice was gentle, the Brooklyn accent filling her with such a warmth that she simply snuggled into him further, "I'm just sorry that I wasn't there to protect you; you're my partner and I was supposed to protect you, and I'm sorry. But Olivia, what I do know is that you're one of the strongest women I know – believe me, you're stronger than me, but don't tell anyone I said that," that statement caused a chuckle to escape her lips; "I know you're more than capable of doing your job, and none of this is your fault. You went undercover for justice for a young girl, and that was one of the bravest things you could have ever done. Liv, there was nothing you could've done to prevent this other than to fight, so this isn't your fault. You're strong, you're a survivor; you got this, and you'll get the bastard again this time."
He squeezed her tighter, breathing out as he spoke the next words;
"And if he so much as comes near you or calls you ever again, I will rip him apart with my bare hands."
Olivia could say no more. Words failed her, a ball of emotion formed in her throat. She simply hugged him tightly, gripping onto him as he held her. He used the pad of his thumb to wipe the tears off her cheeks before kissing the top of her head again. He figured that they had talked about enough heavy stuff tonight, and he also figured that he was remaining with her for a short while longer. He relaxed against the corner, holding her tightly as he decided to focus on happier things.
"Liv."
"Hmm?"
He glanced down at her, she was looking up at him. He gave her a smile, to which she returned a small one as he spoke;
"Talk happy things, tell me about your son."
It was nearly seven when Elliot finally was standing up to leave. For the last couple hours, the conversation had switched to something more lighthearted – like Olivia's son that Elliot hadn't even known until she mentioned that Harris knew about the little boy. As she was talking about Noah, he looked around the room, noticing the kid drawings and pictures dotted around in various places. He should've known really judging by those items, but in his defense, he hadn't even noticed them when he first came in. His focus had been on Olivia.
Olivia chatted happily about Noah as she and Elliot remained cuddled up on the sofa. She explained to him about how he came into her life at the most random time, when she found him whilst working a case and how, since nobody claimed him after his mother's death and his father was nowhere to be found, that the judge had granted her the role of being his foster mother since she had shown an interest in him by constantly visiting him in hospital and making sure he was okay. Elliot listened with a soft smile on his face, and she had one that matched as she told him about how she adopted him a year later just before his second birthday, and how – for the last three years, it had just been the two of them for the most part. Elliot praised her for balancing the job and being a mother and even asked if he could meet Noah one day, to which Olivia suggested he come over the following day and bring Eli so they could hang out around the apartment and he could meet Noah then. Elliot agreed, thinking that it was a great idea – and plus, despite everything going on, it was great to have some normality.
As Elliot stood at the door after getting his shoes back on and grabbing his keys, Olivia could see the apprehension on his face. After hearing what Harris had done and with knowledge that he was out and about in the city, he was worried about leaving Olivia alone. However, Olivia assured him that she was safe – that there was a detail on her block and at Noah's school, so that everything would be fine. Elliot still felt apprehensive, but let it go and simply hugged her again, resting his chin on top of her head.
"Text me when you get to work, so I know you're there safe," he held her arms as he pulled back, "Watch your back okay? Someone's looking out for you at work, right?"
"I'm the Lieutenant, El; I'm barely out in the field, but when I do go out, one of my detectives is watching my back." She explained.
"I only know Fin, so I only trust him to watch your back," he stroked his thumb along her arms before letting go, "I'll talk to you later okay, be safe."
"Hey, you watch your back too." She grabbed hold of his arm, staring into his blue eyes as he looked down at her. He gave a curt nod of the head, before stroking his thumb down her cheek. The two stared at each other for a further couple minutes, before Elliot pulled himself away and headed out of the door. Olivia leaned against the doorway and watched him as he stepped into the elevator, giving a small smile as he waved. She waved back, before finally shutting and locking the door back.
It was going to be a long day, but as long as she had Elliot on the other line, she was going to be okay.
Anddd chapter 11 has come to a close. I hope you all have enjoyed this update guys! Until next time... xoxo
