Chapter 10

Six Months Later…

They were riding in the familiar woods, side by side. Every now and then Indra chanced a quick glance at Lexa. It'd been hours since Lexa uttered a single word and though Indra wasn't usually in a need of small talk, they've been traveling for a while and Lexa's behavior was unnerving.

"Are you alright?" Indra tried to engage her quieter-than-usual mentee.

"Yeah," Lexa replied, she clearly forgot Indra was by her side, "just anxious."

"We will put things in order and you'll return to Polis with good news," Indra promised, but that wasn't entirely what Lexa was worried about.

"We might have to stay a few months before that happens," Lexa pointed out, her voice void of any emotion.

"Is that a burden or a wish?" Indra inquired with genuine curiosity. Lexa gave her an uncertain look but didn't reply.

They were close now. A few more minutes and she'd be able to see the gates. A few more minutes and she'd be home. To see her loved ones, to deal with the Ice Nation. She took a deep breath and with the click of her heel, she encouraged her horse to trot a little bit faster.

As the village came into view, so did the short girl standing right by it, leaning casually on one of the pillars, waiting.

Lexa gasped the moment she recognized the familiar face. She laughed lightly as they reached the smiling girl on the ground. Lexa had been waiting for this moment for an entire year.

"What are you doing outside alone in a time like this?" Indra investigated disapprovingly.

"I missed you, too, Indra," Costia smirked, making Indra huff. Lexa, on her part, was trying to hide her own smirk.

"Go on, Indra, we'll be another moment," Lexa requested using a gentle tone.

Something had shifted between Indra and herself in the last few months. Indra slowly but surely put herself in the position of doing as Lexa asked of her and not the other way around.

Indra looked between the two girls, sighed, and continued leading her horse through the village's gate.

"She is right, you know," Lexa said in a daring tone.

"Is she? How about you get off your high horse and tell me all about it?" Costia blinked, trying to block the sun with her hand.

Lexa chuckled and did as she was told. She never chuckled anymore. Being home already felt great. She walked a few steps toward Costia. They were now standing face to face in close proximity. Lexa gained a few inches during their year apart, Costia did not.

They didn't say a word, they were just standing there, smiling at each other, getting reacquainted with each other's faces.

There was something new about the way the meeting felt. Lexa couldn't put a name to it, but she felt goosebumps on her arms, shivers down her spine. She associated the feeling with being exceedingly happy to return home.

She looks older, Lexa observed, even more beautiful.

Whether Costia heard Lexa's thoughts like always, or not, Lexa didn't know. But Costia was giving her a wide smile, and slowly, gently, Costia closed the gap between them and wrapped her arms around Lexa's body, pulling her in for a deep embrace. Lexa melted into the touch right away, putting her own hands on Costia's back. Familiar, and safe, and everything she was missing in the course of the past year.

"I missed you, so much," Costia whispered, holding Lexa a little bit tighter. She didn't want to let go. Not when every inhale brought with it a scent which she didn't realize how much she longed for.

"I missed you, too, Cos. Thank you for meeting me at the gate," Lexa pulled back from the embrace so she could actually see her friend's face, smile at her.

"I couldn't wait another minute," Costia admitted and Lexa could see in her eyes that she was on the verge of tears.

They could joke, they could tease, but there was never pretence between them, no ego. They needed each other and they were okay with letting the other one know that, because the other would return the favor.

Lexa held both of Costia's hands in hers and locked eyes with her. They were both smiling stupidly. Costia unlinked one of her hands from Lexa's grasp but kept the other. Lexa picked her horse's strap in her free hand and they both started walking into the village together.

"Did you fight anyone interesting?" Costia teased.

"No one as interesting as you," Lexa admitted and used her hip to push Costia gently, in a playful manner. "Not as good as you either," she concluded, noting to herself that Costia seemed extremely content with the compliment.

"You always say the nicest things to me," her best friend stated happily.


She gave Nardo and Dara big hugs. Indra gave them the privacy they so needed so Lexa didn't have to pretend to be anything other than a ten-year-old coming home to her family after an entire year apart.

"I know you didn't really come here for me, girl," Nardo said warmly, "that boy is whom all the ladies of this house care about these days."

Lexa chuckled, observing once again how much she was missing laugher in her life.

"You are very much correct, so, bye!" Costia announced with no shame, grabbed Lexa's hand in hers, and dragged her to the other room.

They stopped at the doorway, Costia quickly dropping Lexa's hand, and walking with purpose toward the crib. Lexa was a bit more hesitant. At the end of the day, as much as she felt like she belonged to this place, this was still Costia's brother.

"Well?" Costia encouraged challengingly, understanding perfectly well what was happening, "what are you waiting for?" When Lexa was in doubt, Costia knew how to reassure her with not so many words.

Lexa smiled widely and stepped next to Costia, looking from the edge of the crib at the six-month-old baby.

He was adorable.

"So you are Aden, ah? It's really nice to meet you," she said all official like, yet couldn't hide the by now constantly present smile on her face.

She was hypnotized by this new little addition to the family. Examining every feature, burning him to memory, because she knew once she left to go back to Polis, whenever that was, there's no telling when she'd see him again, or any of them for that matter.

"He has your eyes," Lexa noted quietly, "they're beautiful," she almost whispered.

Costia looked up at her, an unreadable expression on her face.

I basically just said that her eyes were beautiful, too, Lexa realized and could feel her face grow warm and flushed. What is wrong with me? She scolded herself, it's just Costia.

Lexa was beyond grateful when Dara walked in and interrupted whatever that weird moment between them was.

"Leksa, where are your things? Nardo wanted to bring them into your room," she explained and Lexa's heart filled with joy when Dara referred to it as "your room."

"Oh, I left it with Indra, I figured…"

"You are staying here, of course," Nardo announced matter-of-factly as he, too, walked into the room and stood by Dara's side.

"I just figured with the baby… it'll be crowded, I didn't want to be a bother," she explained politely.

"I'm sorry, but you came back home," Nardo reminded her with agitation in his voice, "were you planning on staying anywhere other than your home?" he challenged warningly.

"No, sir?" Lexa replied innocently with a ghost of a smile on her lips.

"She always was more well behaved than you, daughter," Nardo pointed out, making Costia roll her eyes at him in annoyance. "What do you say, Kid? Ready to share again?"

Costia gave Lexa a meaningful look and Lexa couldn't for the life of her understand why Costia's answer mattered to her so much.

"The nights do get chilly in that big bed," Costia shrugged but followed with a teasing smile which was directed straight at Lexa.

Lexa didn't think her own smile could get any bigger. It was so, so good to be back home.


"I hate that we can't go to the woods," Costia whined. It was the following morning and they were dragging their feet to a somewhat secluded corner of the village. "That's what we do, we go to the woods, we spar, I throw you onto the ground, we go back home for some hot stew."

"You weren't always so braggy, Cos," Lexa noted in feigned disapproval. "I've been gone too long."

"I was always this braggy, you just love me too much to notice or care," Costia clarified nonchalantly, "but, yes, you have been gone too long."

"I wish we could go out, too, but the Ice Nation…"

"Is at the door, yeah, yeah, I know," Costia brushed off. "I don't understand them. They have nothing to gain and so much to lose," Costia scoffed.

"It's the queen," Lexa explained. "She's hungry for power, as you know, always has been, from what I learned."

"But what does she want from Ton DC? There's nothing here. Well, except for the man who put one of her sons in the ground, I suppose," Costia shrugged, thinking sadly about her father. To her he was the kindest, gentlest man in the world, but more than once in his life time, he left a trail of destruction in his wake.

"I guess she wants to lose more sons," Lexa sneered bitterly. "It's probably the mountain she wants."

Costia looked at Lexa wide-eyed. It didn't even occur to her until that moment. "No," she nearly begged, she didn't know to whom, but Lexa was the one who was there to hear the plea.

"She's not gonna get it," Lexa promised. "She wouldn't know how to deal with it even if she did. But the last thing we need is for her to ruin the delicate balance and start a war. Mountain people don't exactly distinguish between us as long as we're those on the outside."

"Some can," Costia reminded sadly.

Lexa nodded. She couldn't figure out people who seemed to only be fueled by the lust for power, of conquest. That was Queen Nia's M.O., but it was no real leadership, that was not real diplomacy.

Compassion, the favorite pillar, she thought. She looked at her friend and realized why it was her favorite pillar.

"I guess we need to make sure you're in good shape," Costia stated nonchalantly.

"I guess we do," Lexa replied with a raised eyebrow, knowing that as intense as the conversation had turned, her friend could not shy away from something that seemed like a challenge. Costia used to hide her skills, but once they were revealed, once Lexa let her know it was okay, it was a part of who she was, Costia managed to find the joy in it, managed to play the game. Even if only for personal entertainment and not on the field.

Never on the field, Lexa prayed.

She had Costia exactly where she wanted her. It wasn't even a manipulation. Costia never did something she didn't want to do. Little mind games would not be the driving force in her decisions.

Lexa gave her a little shove in the shoulder, almost to poke at her, to rattle her just a bit. Costia wasn't the easily rattled type, though. She narrowed her eyes at Lexa but Lexa could see that glint in Costia's eyes that she loved so much.

Lexa had her wooden sword in her hand, the one that was safely waiting for her return in the chest in their shared room. She raised her hand and launched at Costia who was ready, as always, and easily blocked Lexa's attempt.

Lexa released an eager laughter. Ever since she returned to the village, she had constant reminders to the fact that she was home, that she didn't need to try too hard. But nothing and no one, made her feel like she could just let her guard down like Costia did. And this little battle was the accumulation of that feeling.

"Give it your all, Costia," Lexa demanded in excitement. A year in Polis made her realize that the older she grew, the more skilled she became. Even Fid wouldn't be a challenge for much longer, she knew. And with that notion, she didn't know what she was hoping for more – to come back home and see that she had finally surpassed Costia, or the exact opposite.

But as she was going at her best friend, not getting more than every fifth hit in, and was being hit back relatively way more often, she was overjoyed. That old hunger, the will to be better, was present more than ever before in a way only Costia could evoke from her.

And suddenly, Lexa, who was now taller by at least a head, was towering over her best friend, swords attached as she pushed Costia down to her knees.

Costia was struggling with the added weight, Lexa was just about to flatten her on her back and declare herself victorious when Costia, breathing heavily, put one of her hands on Lexa's blade, keeping it away from her neck.

"And now your hand is bleeding," Lexa commentated, informing Costia that in a real life scenario, she would be losing.

"Yes," Costia admitted with a breathy smile, "but I'm still alive. Long enough to do this," she pushed Lexa up with so much force that Lexa stumbled backwards and dropped her sword. Before she had a chance to gather her ground, she felt a kick to the back of her knee and she was lying on the ground, two wooden swords pointed at her neck and an out-of-breath Costia standing, smiling fully, above her.

"You've gotten a lot better, Alex," Costia noted, breathing heavily and still trying to catch her breath.

"You still beat me," Lexa whined.

"I've gotten a lot better, too," Costia smirked. Lexa couldn't stay upset or annoyed, not when Costia was giving her that little smile.


"No, we've discussed this already. Absolutely not and that's final," Nardo's voice could be heard booming through the walls. It was morning, Lexa was in bed, alone. Her brain was still fuzzy as the brewing argument seemed to lure her to the world of the living once again.

"Why?" Costia demanded aggressively, "Why can't I join? I'm a better warrior than Leks and she's going!" she pointed out, quietly enough so no prying ears could hear, but loud enough that Lexa picked on her name even though she was still too foggy to comprehend the rest of the sentence.

Costia was looking at her father with near disdain, although, in truth she was just worried and frustrated.

"She's a Natblida and her home is under attack. She has a part to play, it's her duty," Nardo reminded just as aggressively.

Costia seemed like she had something to say but instead she grunted and turned to leave. Back in their room Lexa realized what was happening and was blessing Nardo's name for preventing her best friend from joining the battle.

"You don't like any of this anyway, daughter," he bargained in his daughter's native tongue. "I know our culture is still not something you easily accept. You don't want to be there. Not really."

"I do," she insisted in the stubbornness that on different circumstances would make Lexa smile. Instead, she was lying in bed, listening intently, hoping that Nardo would stand his ground.

"You want to be there for us, you don't want to be there in order to take part in it," he concluded and Lexa knew he had won. She sighed in relief. She knew her best friend perfectly well and she knew Nardo was spot on.

"Does it really matter why I want to be there? Isn't it enough that I want to?" Costia gave it a desperate last try.

"No, it's not. I don't want you out there risking your life for something you don't even believe in," Nardo argued. "It'll just mean I have to worry about you because you wouldn't be worried about yourself. Lexa wouldn't want you there either," he used the final blow and Lexa thought that she could kiss the man.

"I'm sorry," Costia blurted disappointedly, accepting defeat. She could not argue with her father, not when he was correct. Not when she felt like everything that was happening was futile, unnecessary. She couldn't support it so he didn't want her to be a part of it. She had to respect his wishes.

"Don't be," he demanded and took a step forward to put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "You're just like your mother. She saw the world differently. In a way I wish I could, too. It's like she knew there was another way to go about life."

Costia swallowed hard and nodded. On any other day she loved being compared to her mother, but right then all she wanted was to make sure the people she loved were safe and unharmed.

"Who is gonna watch over you, Silly Man?" she questioned quietly.

"I will be okay," he offered her a soft smile. "And so will she," he gestured towards their home where Lexa was presumably sleeping peacefully.

"Don't make promises you can't keep," Costia brushed his hand away and left him standing alone in the yard.


She was pacing, taking four steps forward, four steps back. She was making Lexa more anxious than she already was, as Lexa thought her friend would burn holes in the ground. It had been a week since Lexa returned, and it had been great, but the orders came from Polis to not wait any longer and to attack. The Ice Nation was too close for comfort.

"If things will get really bad the Commander will come down here," Lexa tried to assure her friend.

"Define really bad," Costia demanded bitterly.

They were standing outside their little bungalow, Costia may have been pacing but her eyes were locked like a hawk on her father's figure, through the window. Both girls could see him as he was putting war paint on.

Lexa was thinking that soon enough she'd have to go and do that too. It was almost time to leave.

Through her peripheral vision she could see Costia staring at her profile. Lexa didn't return the glance. She knew that if it was within Costia's power to prevent Lexa from going to war, her best friend would do just that.

"You told me I always have a home," she started, still not turning her head, still watching the man inside the house, "now I'm going to protect it," she declared with finality. It was more than just a thing she was expected to do and she was honored to do it.

"What I told you was that you always have somewhere to come back to," Costia clarified, "and that you are my home."

"Yes," Lexa recalled and finally looked at her best friend, speaking softly but with determination. "And I told you that you are my home, too. So now I'm going to protect both my home and the place I can go back to. It just happens to be one and the same," she concluded, her eyes begging for Costia to understand.

Costia said nothing for a few moments but finally broke their eye contact and turned away. "I hate this," she bit her lip. Lexa heard the frustration and fear in her voice.

"I know, but this is how we survive," Lexa stated simply. "This is our way."

Costia turned back to her and smiled sadly. "But does it have to be?" she shared her heart's wonder. "Really? Forever?"

"I don't know," Lexa admitted. "Maybe, maybe not." She had so many plans for the kind of future she wanted to create. She saw what her people were, but also what they could become. She saw people like the Ice Nation, the queen, who left a trail of ruin, but she also saw people like Dara, and Costia, who just wanted to live their lives in peace. Costia never looked for simplicity, she didn't shy away from hardships; she just hated when those hardships seem to have been unwarranted.

Those were the kind of people Lexa wanted to be the Commander of. Complex people, brave people, all sorts of people, as long as they aspired for something better. Lexa wanted to make them aspire for something better.

Evolvement often requires a change in the old ways, she thought. But we're not ready yet.

"I really don't want my baby brother to grow up without a father," Costia bit back angrily, bringing Lexa back to the present. "I did that for years and I didn't like it very much."

"Neither did I," Lexa reminded, "but don't worry, Cos, I won't let anything happen to him," Lexa vowed.

Costia laughed bitterly. "You heroes and your promises," she shook her head. She looked at Lexa in a way that Lexa couldn't quite figure out. It made Lexa feel exposed, but not in the way that made her want to run away. More like in a way that made her want to fall right into whatever it was she saw in those eyes. There was something so raw in Costia's stare, something sad and loaded, but there was longing there, too.

Costia released a breath and finally spoke. "All I know is that every time he puts this paint on, somebody ends up dead. Don't let it be you." She demanded harshly and left, defeated, leaving Lexa standing there by herself, looking back at the man inside the bungalow.


Notes:

1. Spoiler – Lexa saying Aden has Costia's eyes - of course, this is important because it explains a lot of the unspoken moments in Lexa and Aden's future relationship. She loved him like a brother but was also haunted by his eyes. He was a constant reminder of the person she had lost and she also felt a duty to elevate him when Costia was gone.

2. Costia stopping Lexa's sword with her hand - We see Lexa use this move in future canon, of course, in her famous battle against Roan. And in my headcanon this was the day she learned that move, and Costia was the person she learned it from.