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I don't own Sherlock
Sherlock POV
Boom!
"What was that?" Said John, looking bewildered.
"My phone. Pass it here." I held out my hand as John reached over and handed me my phone.
"It was literally not five inches from your hand." He said, exasperated.
"It's better to have you get it." I said, pulling up the texts. Like I had expected, a text from mum. I read it and immediately regretted it.
"What's that look for? Who texted you?"
"Mum. This is not going to fun." Most people would point out the strange sound as her text notification, but John didn't even raise an eyebrow.
"I'm going to be gone this weekend. Stupid family reunion." John laughed. I couldn't see what was so funny, but he had a strange sense of humor.
"What is the rest of your family like? I've seen Mycroft, and if that's any indication…" He trailed of.
"They're all so…" I struggled to find the word. "normal." I decided.
"Really?"
"Well, besides the fact the they are all world renowned scientists, mathematicians, and engineers, fairly normal. I leave later today, so better get packing." I didn't actually have to pack. I had a special suitcase for emergencies such as this. I just wanted to get out of this conversation. I really didn't want John making anymore inquires about my family history. It was not pretty. Still, I was generally put in charge of the kids, which was always a laugh. But on the down side, I would have to see my awful Uncle Dursley. I really didn't see why he had to come. His sister had been married to my late Uncle Sam, who was lots of fun if you got him drunk. But his wife and her family where a bunch of idiots. I absolutely hated them.
Coming. Guest list? I texted my mum. She sent me a list of people who would be coming. I went through the list, and thankfully, Aunt Marge had had a mysterious injury and couldn't come. Uncle Dursley wouldn't be bothered to visit if his sister wasn't coming so they weren't going to be there. Mycroft, as always. My grandmama, a very old lady who just loved quantum physics, would be there also. A few other people, like my mum's brothers and sisters, and their family, would also be there. That meant all of the regular kids, except Dudley and Harry, would be there. The triplets, Lulu, Gracie, and Andrew, Dean, Kevo, and Beatrice. All six kids. This was going to be fun.
Several hours later I had finally dragged myself onto a bus that took me to my hometown and walked down the long pathway to my parents house. Already I could see several people inside, laughing, and having fun. I pushed open the door and was greeted with a flurry of hugs and kisses from various relatives. Mycroft scowled at me from the couch, where Grandmama's was in her wheelchair. I smiled at him then was hit with a force like a hurricane.
"Sherlock's home!" Yelled a little voice from somewhere around my legs.
"Sherlock, Sherlock, you won't believe the explosion I made in the back yard. It almost gave Aunt Wanda a heart attack." said Andrew's voice. I looked over at Mum, who nodded gravely.
"Sherlock, you never told me who murdered that pink lady from last time you were here." Said Kevo.
My the hem of my sleeve was tugged by a little girl, Beatrice, who said in her small voice. "Nobody will tell me why Uncle Myc can't have cake. Why can't he have cake, Sherlock, why?"
"Because he's fat and needs to lose some weight." I told her, promptly getting slapped on the arm from my mother.
"Come outside Sherlock, let's play detective!" Said Gracie, pigtails bouncing.
Dean looked at me seriously.
"Lulu's been murdered." He said somberly.
"And Commies are coming to get you!" Squealed Gracie. She was a bit hyperactive.
"Of course, we know who murdered Lulu. But you don't. It could be anyone at this party. You have to find out who did it. Is John coming?" I was taken aback at this last question.
"No, he isn't coming, far as I'm aware."
"We read his blog at night! He writes the best stories! Now everybody, go to your positions! Chop chop!" the other children ran if to different parts of the property, while Gracie led me outside. On the patio deck was Lulu, smeared with 'blood'. She was obviously not dead, any idiot could tell, but I had to play along in fear of the other adults. I took out my magnifying glass and looked at her. Lulu was ten years old, a strong love for books of all kinds, and was shy to those she didn't know. After examining the 'body', Gracie handed me a sheet of paper. On it was a list of suspects the 'police' had. On it was everyone but me, Grandma, and Lulu herself. Then there was a list of places Lulu had been in the 24 hours. It said that Lulu had been to the library owned by Grandmama, the cafe, had spend two hours in the car driving here, and was a happy girl until Mycroft showed up, where she slipped outside and 'met her demise'. Quite graphic for a ten year old.
Normal I would have an autopsy done, but that couldn't happen. So I turned to Gracie, who had dubbed herself 'Police Lady'. "First if all, ignore all suspect list the police give you. They're rubbish" I tore the end that had the list of suspects off. "Anyone could have done it. So, what books did your sister get at the library?" I asked her. She led me into the guest room where they were staying, where a large bag of books was laying on the floor. I rummaged inside and pulled out three books. A Beginners Guide to Edible Plants in England, Alex Rider, and A Christmas Carol. They all looked fairly innocent. I picked up the first book and flipped through it. One page was dogeared. Nothing poisonous on this page, just harmless berries. The only other clue was a book mark that said 156:6. It looked like a bible verse, but the bible didn't have chapters that went that high. But I did have the books, and they were probably what I was suppose to look at. I flipped the Edible Plants book to 156 and looked at the sixth word. Also. I didn't think that was what I had to worry about. I looked at the sixth entry of plants. Hemlock. That was probably what had 'killed' Lulu. I opened up the other to books. Alex Riders sixth word on page 156 was find, and A Christmas Carol was it. Find it. I had to find the Hemlock. I flipped back to the section on Hemlock in Edible Plants. It said: The very poisonous Conium Maculatum is found almost in damp, wet areas, but also in drier, rougher regions as well. Roadsides, streams, ditches, and other surface water. All parts of the plant are poisonous if ingested or eaten, although drying the plant out greatly refuses the effects. I shut the book with a snap.
"Come on, John. He have a poisonous plant to find." Gracie giggled and jumped up and down. Did I just call her John?
"It took ages to find books with that combination! Ages, Sherlock, ages!" She grabbed onto my hand and pulled me all the way to the front door. I pushed it open and went outside keeping an eye out for poisonous hemlock. Along the dusty road I saw many footprints, mine included. I took a picture of all of the different track marks I found, while still looking for hemlock. Then I remembered. Mum always had a small drainage hole for rain water. I went over to look at where it had last been, under a big tree. It was still there now. But there was no was some familiar looking footprints, I just couldn't put my finger on who's they were. I didn't even get a chance to stand up and keep looking when a black bag was dropped on my head. I yelled an indignant "Hey!" When I heard little voice, running around me, while lengths of rope were being wrapped around me, so tight I could barely feel my arms.
Then they started marching me down a hill, probably to the shed that mum kept all her gardening supplies in. I suspected that these were the 'Commies'. They marched me all they way down to the shed and forced me down into a chair, before wiping the bag of my head.
To my right and left stood two children, clad in black, holding BB guns. At such close range, they could probably do some damage. They started wrapping the rope around me again, only leaving one hand free. I could barely move when they were done. In front of me, stood another kid in all black. There faces were covered, but on there black sweaters, there was a bright red hammer and sickle. Yep, definitely the Commies.
"You do know that Russia isn't a Communist state anymore?"
"There is still a small band of us who believe in the old ways." came a girl's voice. She was trying to distort it, but it wasn't really working. In front of me stood Beatrise, who was barely six years old.
"To your left, Dean, to your right, Kevo. They are my minions. You get one phone call before my boss showed up." I reached into my jacket and pulled out my phone. Who should I call? I could call my mum, but that would ruin all the fun. So I looked at the first name on my contacts list. John Watson. He could definitely help. I had to remind myself that nobody had actually been murdered. This was just a game that these children had set up. And, once the game was done, I would expected to talk with adults. If John was there, it would give me an excuse not to socialize.
I dialed up John's number. He answered on the first ring. "What, Sherlock?"
"Well that's not a very nice way to greet someone who's tied up."
"What?!" Said John, I could almost see him leaping up out of his chair. "I was going to say it sounded like it was to quiet, but go ahead, explain why you're in this situation."
"Alright, so I'm tied up in my mother's shed by some mini Communist. They have BB guns and were probably the ones who 'murdered' my cousin, Lulu"
"They murdered your cousin?!"
"She's not actually dead, John, it's just a game. Every year one of the kids get 'murdered', and I have to figure out how did it."
"But why?"
"Because I'm in charge of all those under the age of thirteen, and seeing as they all have very short attention spans, they decided to cook up a murder and watch me solve it."
"So you're calling me because they tied you up in a shed? How old are these kids?"
"The youngest is six, the oldest is ten."
"And they have you tied up?"
"Yep." I heard him laughing at the other end the line.
"You let some kids tie you up? Why would you be calling me?"
"I'm calling you because the pizza man ran out of pizzas." This was code for 'come help'. If I would have said 'the pizza man ran out of pizzas and I'm really hungry', it would mean I'm in immediate danger.
"Well I never imagined this. I'll talk with the pizza man. Anything else?"
"Don't tell Geoff."
"Greg!" Came another voice. Lestrade was there to.
"You're on speaker phone, Sherlock." Said John, laughing harder then ever. "Greg came over to have a drink." I swore under my breath.
"Language! They're kids on your end!"
"I am surrounded by miniature assassin's, swearing is the least of my problems!"
"I'm going to talk to the pizza man now." I hung up and slid my phone back into my jacket.
"The boss will be with you shortly." She stepped outside and Dean turned to me.
"I'm sorry we tied you up, Sherlock. But Gracie said she'd give me pie if I did this." He said.
"Shh! We're not suppose to talk, 'member?" Kevo said. They resumed their previous positions as the door opened to reveal Andrew.
"I am the boss man." He said in a horrible Russian accent. "And I want to know who murdered my wonderful sister, Lulu."
"She ate a poisonous hemlock."
"Then why was she found with blood all over her?"
"That was the person who fed her the hemlock. He wanted to make it look like murder, but where would the blood come from? She didn't have an entry wound. The blood was just for show."
"Then who did it?"
"Give me a second." I said. I retreated to my mind palace, running the halls until I found the room I was looking for. Shoes. I ran a scan for matching shoe patterns and walking patterns of all the people at the party. Finally, a match.
"Mycroft!" I shouted, opening my eyes. "Mycroft murdered Lulu!"
"But why?" Andrew asked.
"Drop the accent. And I don't know why Mycroft would murder Lulu. She doesn't have anything he wants, I know that. She hasn't really done anything to him at all. She barely talks to anyone. He would have no reason to talk to her. Unless…" I trailed off, thinking, thinking, thinking. "Yes! Mycroft asked her to do something, but she refused. But what would that be? He's basically the British government, he could get anything. But Lulu reads so much, and is so smart. That books she was reading, Alex Rider. It's about seacret agents and spies. Maybe he gave her the option to work for him. She's small, and could fit into tight places, good for sneaking around. When she refused, he poisoned her using the hemlock, his footprints were by the water drainage hole. Hypothetically speaking. Why have you captured me? You could have just asked politely for me to solve the case."
"One, because I wanted to know who murdered Lulu. Two, because you have something we want." the accent was really annoying.
"And what might that be?"
"Keys." He said, letting the simple word resound around the little shed.
"Well, the police will be here any second. You're not getting any keys from me." I wiggled and squirmed in my chair. Had this been an actual kidnapping, I would have made it look like I was still tied up, then burst through the rope and take everyone out. But this was just a bunch of kids, and I couldn't exactly whip out a shovel and hit them over the head with it.
"I'm sorry, Sherlock, but that's not how things work here. I give the order, and you follow it. Keys. Now." He held out his hand, expecting me to reach into my coat pocket and give him what he wanted.
"Keys to where?" I asked. Stalling was the preferable option at the moment.
"The cupboard."
"And why would you like keys to the cupboard?" I said, fidgeting even more. I had started using my free hand to loosen the knot.
"Because the cupboard has an entrance too Aunt Wanda's secret lab that she thinks nobody knows about."
"And how did you figure that out?" It was true, my mother did have a secret lab underneath the house. She never told anyone about it, unless they really needed to know. I snagged the keys off her one day, copied it, and the kids must have found out that I had it.
"We stole the blueprints. Not that hard." Andrew shrugged.
"Alright, I'll give them too you." I decided that as long as I kept an eye on them, it would be alright. I reached into my coat and pulled out a large ring of keys. I had a lot of keys. Some didn't even had locks. A key to 221B Baker Street, a key to the shed I was in now, I key to the house, and keys that I didn't like thinking about. I took the one that opened the lock hidden behind the flour and reached out to hand it too Andrew. Then came a knock on the door.
"Sherlock? Are you in there? You didn't tell me you invited a friend." I sighed.
"Just let him in." I said.
"What do you say?"
"Please let him in." I heard snickering from outside the door. "Oh, shut up." I grumbled.
"Do you have a key love?" I took the right key from around the ring as I heard my mum say, "Sherlock loves keys, has one to everything. Probably even Buckingham Palace." as I slid the key under the door. I heard it being slid into the lock and the doors came open. In came my mum and John.
"Do you really have keys to Buckingham Palace?" Asked he asked.
"No. I'm working on it though."
"Andrew!" Mum said sharply. "And Dean and Kevo! What are you doing, locking Sherlock up in a shed?"
"Um, we, ah, it hard to explain, but-" He was cut off shortly by Mum's withering glare. "Sorry." He finally said, hanging his head down in shame.
"It's not there fault, Mum. It's just a game. Most kids their age won't be interested, let alone take the time to set something up like this. " I said, finally wiggly free of my bonds.
"Yes, but this seems a little over the top, with all these guns and kidnapping. They're still young, Sherlock."
"I enjoy it." I said.
"Love, you enjoy continually putting your life at risk for a little fun. And I don't care if that fun involves helping people. I am the more responsible adult in this situation, and I am fully prepared to shoot it down. Take those silly costumes off, and come inside." They took of their heavy black sweaters and put down there BB's, shuffling out of the shed.
"Aren't you going to argue with her?" Asked John.
"He doesn't argue with his mother, dear." She said, ushering us out. She took the kids inside and left us on the lawn.
"So you called us, when our mum could have gotten you out in half the time?" Asked John,
"I don't like family gathering. If I'm lucky, these games last the entire time." I skirted around the subject of my family, as I always had. Before he could ask questions, Lulu skipped over too me.
"Sherlock, Auntie Wanda said I didn't have to be dead anymore. Did you solve the case?"
"It was Mycroft."
She turned to John and gasp a little. "Are you, you're, wow."
"Did I tell you you're quite the celebrity around here?"
"You're Captain John Watson! Sherlock's best friend!" She finally declared and stuck her little hand out to shake. John took her small hands awkwardly, looking quite confused. "I'm gonna go get the others."
"What?" Asked John. "What? I don't understand. How would I-" He pointed to his chest. "-be very popular-" He put his hands in the air, "-when it's your family." Then six kids and my very ecstatic grandma (in a wheelchair, mind you) came running (rolling, whatever) up to us.
"Tell us a story, Captain Watson." Said Gracie, bouncing up and down. "Tell us the one about the Speckled Blonde! Or the one about Death by Twitter! Tell us one that's not on your blog! Tell us them all!" She said.
"Um, alright, sure." He was pulled down into a chair by Beatrise, who sat at his feet, expectantly waiting for a story.
We stayed all night long, until Beatrise fell asleep, Gracie stopped bouncing, and Kevo stopped making little comments. The kids shuffled off to bed and I went too a little spot on Moker's Hill, under a great big tree that I used to climb when I was younger, were a simple stone stood. On it was inscribed Redbeard, Kisses, Love, the Holmes Family. I looked at the back of the stone, where I had left a little message to Redbeard when I was younger. It said Thanks for being a best friend. I remembered the day I stood there, from dawn till dusk, meticulously inscribing that into the stone. My vision started to go foggy, the sounds of nature got muted, my heart started beating faster, and faster, and faster. But a voice. Someone was talking to me. Mycroft. He was waving his hands in front of my face.
"Sherlock? Sherlock? Sherlock!" He snapped at me. I blinked. Everything was normal. "Why are you here?" He asked me.
"I wanted to visit him. I wish he was still around."
"Why is that?"
"Because I loved him." I wanted this to be the end of the conversation.
"We all did, Sherlock." He reached out and plucked two wild flowers from the ground, and handed one to me. He placed his on the stone, and I did the same. We turned around and walked back into the house in silence. Me and John got on the bus and John finally broke the silence.
"Where were you? I was getting uncomfortable."
"I was up on the big hill, with the trees. Somebody I used to know. We were good friends."
"Really?"
"Yes. We had marvelous adventures. Did you talk too my grandmother?" I was really desperate to change the subject
"Was she the old lady in the wheelchair? Yeah, I talked to her a little. God, just like Mrs. Hudson. Was asking when our wedding was."
"That's Grandma, alright. Just don't get her started on quantum physics. She still studies its, even though she's eighty-nine. What are your parents like?"
"Very… Traditional. I don't think they would like you at all." He laughed. "Then again, most people don't. My dad is more discipline and stuff, he made me want to join the army, and my mum is just like your average old lady. She knits my jumpers." We talked a little more about family, but I guess it wasn't that important, because I didn't remember. I went to bed that night with a good feeling. I had solved a (pretend) murder, heard a lot of stories, and visited my little puppy. I had learned something new about my friend. I had made a little kid's day. That was good. And I couldn't wait for tomorrow.
Wow. Long chapter. Like, six pages long. Sorry it took me forever to write. I couldn't help adding that bit about the Dursley's. School starts soon, so it'll probably get harder to update it often. Still can't wait for season 4! The hiatus is entirely ruining my Voldemort Day. Thanks for reading hope you enjoyed.
