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Fireworks
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After yesterday's thunderstorm, which lasted the whole remainder of the day, it was nice to see the sun in the sky again. Jade seemed to be less happy, as if the brilliance of the sun cast more light on her problems than she had dared to, no more shadows and dark corners for her to hide in. She seemed to be faring quite okay, with all that had happened being behind her temporarily, but then again, I never knew what storms were raging behind her calm mask.

Jade had held me throughout the entirety of the storm. Even remembering it made goose bumps explode on my skin and I smiled; her touch had been so warm, so gentle and protective, all the things I never expected her to be towards me. We had even fallen asleep in each other's arms at night, Jade's face so close to mine that I had felt her warm breath tickle on my lips, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up as I had shivered and I seriously wondered why we weren't together yet.

Because ''normal'' friends don't do this, do they?

They don't sleep with foreheads touching and fingers intertwined, whispering words over pillows with hearts beating about as loud as a drum through the night.

I could be wrong since I had a knack for being wrong, but Jade sent off so many mixed signals that it made my head hurt. Fact was that I was growing considerably more in love with her every day, to the point where it was becoming hard to resist the urge to kiss her right then and there. I couldn't conceal it much longer.

There had to be a point where I would break down and spill it all.

I could feel it close in on me, and I realized that at some point, I'd have to tell Jade about my feelings. No way I could keep this a secret for forever. I figured that somehow I should just give it a go. Better sorry than safe. I hated the fact that I could lose her as a friend, but this was unbearable. It was weird because it had been little over two weeks and I was completely infatuated; still, my feelings were threatening to overflow.

I was watching Jade cook my breakfast once again right now. Apparently she liked to do that, so naturally, I let her. There's no point in refusing Jade things because in the end, she will get what she wants anyway. I couldn't deny that I liked to look at her while she was doing it, too. The way she moved was just so mesmerizing. She was elegant. Gracious but with a murderous and hazardous edge.

Her hips swayed as she moved around in the kitchen, messy hair draped over sloped shoulders and one end of her pyjama top riding up, showing white skin. Delicate fingers broke eggs and handled the whisk to destroy them beyond repair. Every little motion seemed to be executed so perfectly, as if Jade was carrying herself with the utmost precision, afraid to break out of control. I could hear her hum along with the music on the radio and soon after she was singing aloud, a smirk on her lips as she looked at me.

Catching onto the words, I smiled back at her and started singing, knowing the song by heart. It's a song I used to play to death and I was surprised Jade knew it too.

Our voices soon filled the kitchen as we belted out the words, my eyes closed as I began to move to the melody. Jade used her whisk as a mock microphone, pieces of egg flying all over the place as she spun on her feet, vicious green eyes coming to rest on mine, a smile rolling over her singing lips.

She skipped and pranced all over the kitchen and I followed her around, like a bear after honey. Somewhere I found it pathetic but hey, I was just dancing too. We were having fun and the song soon resonated through the room, through my bones and I couldn't help but smile as Jade took my hand and twirled me around, pulling me close as she did so. Warm hands rested on my hips and my chest hummed as I gasped, words faltering as I stammered through my singing. But Jade merely smiled, winking.

I got caught up in the way she danced. I got caught up and I was drawn towards her before I noticed. My shaking hands wrapped around her neck, pretending to be dancing with her, throwing my hair backwards. A stupid grin graced my lips and I could not get it off. My eyes drifted to her mouth as she pulled me nearer still.

Jade held her lower lip between pointy teeth and my gaze snapped back up to her piercing eyes. Then slowly she leaned in and she was so close I could see the individual million tiny freckles that made up most of the skin underneath her eyes. I didn't know if I was still breathing but I didn't care. I was going to kiss Jade West. A mantra repeated itself in my head, the words don't pull back don't pull back going on and on like a broken record.

It was as if my thoughts were louder than my mouth because Jade promptly steered away from my head, returning to her cooking as if nothing had happened. A disappointing frown knitted my eyebrows together, yet I squeezed a giggle out of my throat, just to play along. I was breathless.

Why would she want to kiss me? Hope was blossoming in my chest yet I didn't know why. This didn't say anything. I knew that Jade could be sultry, so this was probably just how she behaved. Beck wasn't around, she was lonely. Excuses abundant. Still, somewhere, I felt something. I felt a spark and I hoped that Jade had felt that same spark, that same ignition of feelings. I swallowed hard, trying my hardest at steadying my voice as I spoke.

"I keep forgetting you're such a good singer."

I watched her head cock slightly from behind, "You're not too bad yourself, Vega."

Despite the huge feeling of rejection that slowly started to eat away at my mind, I felt flattered. Really, how can one person feel so much at the same time? I chewed on the inside of my cheek as I grimaced, feeling my stomach lurch. I was still in a daze, head spinning as if I'd been intoxicated. I'd been so close.

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"Hey, I meant that," said Jade, and she turned around with a plate full of French toast and a grin on her pretty face, "Breakfast is done, by the way."

The scent of the food sent my bad mood flying off to somewhere far, far away. Even though I wasn't feeling hungry before, my stomach now growled violently. I sighed contently as I picked up my knife and fork and dug in, happy I could actually taste her cooking this time because it was amazing. It practically melted on my tongue and I smiled.

"This is really good, Jade," I managed to say in between munches, painfully aware of how I must look, "Do you cook often?"

She shrugged, raising her eyebrow in the process. "Yeah, every now and then. I had to learn it myself eventually when my parents couldn't be arsed to feed me anymore, too busy catching up with their own lives to bother. Ever since then I've quite managed my way with food."

"Wow, that must've been though."

"It's okay really. I've learned to think of it as a positive experience," Jade answers, flicking her hair over her shoulder as she sat down opposite of me. A devious grin was playing on her lips as she eyed me up and down, "I mean, I've become a damn good cook."

I laughed, agreeing with her and finishing up my breakfast. Jade claimed to still be not hungry, which I could understand. She lived off coffee, mostly.

We talked some more about what we should do today, and once again ended up on the couch, watching a movie. For once Jade didn't care what movie we were going to watch, and much to her dismay, I was in the mood for a romantic one. All huddled up, we sat there, warm and comfortable. I felt every single move the pale-skinned girl made and every motion sent my pulse up, heart threatening to break out of my chest.

The atmosphere was nice, as always. Yet I felt a tension hang between us. It was as if we were magnets, and instead of attract, we pushed each other away. Jade just felt distant and remote, and it pained me to think it was of what happened earlier. Nerves whistled through my body every time I thought of it, and I felt a constant urge to bolt upright just to do something with myself.

Being restless wasn't something I enjoyed, I couldn't just sit here and let Jade pass me by.

"H-hey, Jade? Can I ask you something?" I blurted out after some time, not being able to contain myself when watching a movie like this. I wouldn't normally be bothered by romantic movies but it felt as if it had put an iron weight on my heart, pressing down until I would finally speak up to Jade. It was ushering me and I was sure I'd slowly collapse if I didn't just get this off my chest. I frowned deeply as I watched her turn to look at me lazily.

"Well, that's not a pretty face. What's up?"

Her glinting eyes captured my attention and I sat frozen on the couch, silent for what felt like hours, all thoughts washed away, "I-I wanted t-to tell you something... but I forgot."

"Mustn't have been important then," Jade brushed off, waving her hand to dismiss my comment and I chuckled through gritted teeth, sinking back into the couch. I nearly found it funny but I was too anxious and too disappointed in myself to actually have a laugh off it. If only you knew, Jade. If only you knew.

I wished I could just tell. I didn't even know what was stopping me besides ridiculous, unreasonable fear. The worst scenario was that we were going to get back to being hostile and somewhat friends. I could live with that as well, yet I found it incredibly hard to confess.

Because what if? What if she feels the same? What if somehow, we ended up being together? I wouldn't know what to do if any of that happened. I was afraid of the what if and that was even more ridiculous because I should know what to do when she reciprocates my feelings. That should be the things which I have dreamt of in many of my dreams. But that's the trick part; dreams are just dreams, reality is way more unpredictable and that's the scary part.

"This movie is stupid."

I frowned, turning my head to look at Jade. She sat there, eyes fixed intently on the screen with her eyebrows knitted sharply over her nose. Her lips were slightly pursed and it killed me to think that it was just a natural trait Jade owned. Come on, who would want to kiss those lips?

"Why?" I said, almost losing myself, "It's so romantic."

"Oh please," she tore her eyes off the movie playing, turning around so that she faced me, "Don't go all sappy-ass on me. Look at it! It's so dumb it eats away on your IQ as you watch. I mean, how the hell would two friends just ''suddenly'' have mutual feelings for each other. That never happens in real life. Never."

Somewhere Jade's words ring true in my ears. I know that most love is complicated, but I've always believed that if it's meant to be, it will happen. I know it probably sounds cheesy, but that's just how I think it works. But I also doubted what the pale-skinned girl has said because it's a true fact that feelings don't always develop slowly. They can come quickly and strike you like a predator jumping for its prey and before you know it you're done for. It's that easy. I should know.

"Sure it does," I countered, smiling sweetly, "Feelings aren't always steady, they're fast and unpredictable. They're unstable, volatile, sometimes even lethal and they leave most people unbeknownst of them until something makes them trigger and they come bursting out like lava."

"Vega, you're sputtering nonsense and we both know that."

I paused the movie and fully faced Jade, shifting closer, "Okay, so... w-what if I liked you? Out of the blue. Would you think my feelings were untrue then?"

Jade's pierced eyebrow perched itself higher above her eye. Her lips then slowly curled into a smirk, "What are you suggesting?"

"N-no! Just hypothetically speaking, of course. I'm just really... curious." I lied with trembling words. My heart was beating about up in my throat and I felt that if I would stand up my legs would not support me anymore, a numbing feeling spreading out through my body like white hot fire.

"Ugh, okay. I don't see the point. Why would you, of all people, like me anyways?"

I shrugged, "Why not?"

"I'm not exactly likeable, Vega."

"Sure you are."

"Am not."

I couldn't hide my grin, "Yeah, you are."

"Then tell me why." Jade's eyes flickered in a challenging way and I gulped, unsure of what to do.

"'Cause you're amazing, okay?" I finally said, feeling everything little thing bubble over, passing my lips before I could stop it, "You're beautiful - heck, you're gorgeous, Jade. I mean, look at yourself. I never knew I'd say this but you're actually nice, you're cute, you're funny, I love your sarcasm and your jokes. I love that you have an honest opinion and I just like you for who you are. I like you because whenever I'm with you, I just feel like I belong."

While I was talking, I felt the huge need to stop before I made it any worse. But I couldn't. I could hear myself spill words and words over and over but I had no influence. As if I was powerless, being taken out of my body to watch in painful shame and guilt from above, reading Jade's face like a book in the process. And it wasn't pretty.

"Vega," Jade's stern voice cut in halfway through and I snapped my mouth shut instantly, "Hold the fuck up for a minute."

"... I-I mean, hypothetically speaking."

She shook her head violently, black curls flying about. A slender hand raised, shaky index finger pointed at my face as her eyes burned into mine, "I said, hold the fuck up," I could hear she meant it this time and I bit my tongue, shrinking back into my seat. Her expression held something unidentifiable, something blank but it also carried a tensed edge, as though she was being apprehensive. She breathed in hard through her nose, posture rigid.

"Did you really mean what you just said?"

"Yes."

Her voice cracked. "Why?"

"Because," my throat was so dry I had to swallow twice, eyebrows hunching over my eyes as I watched Jade cautiously, "B-because I like you, Jade. I really like like you. There's just something about you that I cannot ignore and it pulls me in and then I just lose myself. You're interesting and adorable and I want you to be mine."

There. I said it. I said it and now there was no turning back, nothing else to do but gauge the damage I'd done. I glanced up with guilt glinting in my eyes and for a second Jade seemed as if she could slap me in the face. Wild embers burned in her eyes so bright that they could kill and I tried to ask myself why I had been stupid enough to tell Jade how I felt about her, but then she grabbed my head, leaned in and before I knew it I felt a pair of warm, full lips press against mine.

My heart imploded. Goose bumps rolled down my skin, pleasant shudders raking down my spine as I gasped. I closed my eyes, both body and brain going numb and blank and everything was okay. I would collapse on the spot if it wasn't for the fact that I was sitting down. Euphoric adrenaline rushed through my veins, scorching my insides.

It was a scared, gentle kiss - Jade's lips only feathery light upon my own, but it was enough to knock me senseless.

She pulled back because unfortunately, humans have to breathe. But I felt that one kiss wouldn't suffice, intoxicated by the feeling as if I was already addicted to the taste of her lips. So I drew in a quick breath and pulled Jade in for another kiss, moving my lips back on hers. This time it was Jade that gasped and I grinned into the kiss. Fireworks blasted through my head, through my heart and I felt weightless.

But rough hands pushed me off and we broke apart, "I can't do this, Tori. I want to but I can't."

"Y-you just kissed me. Why can't you?" I replied, eyebrows knitting together on my brow. My head was spinning ad I realized that my heartbeat was dangerously high. A tingle spread itself throughout my lips and they heated up to inhuman temperatures.

"I just... I can't be with you. Because of me."

"But why?"

"If Beck doesn't even want me, why would you?" I looked up at her and saw that tears began to run down her cheeks and I choked on my breath, "I don't deserve you, Tori. Really."

For a moment I had nothing to say and hurt flickered strong in Jade's eyes in those two, maybe three seconds. I was so overwhelmed by everything that I couldn't focus for a while, my thoughts haphazardly throwing themselves together to appear a bit intelligent at least, "W-why wouldn't I?" I stammered out eventually, "You're amazing."

Jade ran her fingers over her wrist and my heart twisted in my chest with sadness, knowing what lays on her skin. A single tear solely fell down on her forearm and she stifled a sob, "I'm not. I'm broken, Tori. I'm misery incarnate, how self-pitying it might sound. I feel small and ungrateful and I'm just not good enough," she paused, biting down on her lower lip as she looked up with teary eyes, "I want to be good enough for you, I want to be perfect, but I can't. I'll never be."

"I don't want you to be perfect, Jade."

Uncertain, surprised eyes looked up to find mine and in them I read that she is not understanding. That look sent chills down my spine; to know that she has always felt the pressure to be perfect, that she had always felt that Beck needed her to be amazing and outstanding while she couldn't, that it was expected of her to be always good enough and that they never asked themselves if she could handle that in the first place. It's heart-breaking.

"But what if I don't suffice? I'm damaged, I'm like the second-hand toy you always got as a kid. I'm not going to be nice, I'm not going to be cooperative, I'm only going to be a trouble-maker. I'm damaged and I can't do that to you. I can't saddle you up with my problems. You deserve better than me."

I exhaled slowly, finally regaining control over my breathing. Taking Jade's hands in mine, I squeezed them assuringly, verdant eyes meeting mine and I melted, "That's okay."

Jade's façade broke down further when the words lodged themselves into her mind. It was like all her walls came crumbling down, her mask beginning to show cracks and dents she could not repair anymore, forcing her to unravel her true self, with all her flaws and mistakes.

"It's okay. If you were burning down I'd still search for a way to douse the flames and so I'm gonna be there for you. Because that's what I'm supposed to do, right? I don't need you to be perfect, I need you to be as flawed as possible to polish you up. And I'm going to take damn good care of that 'cause that is what you deserve."

"Are you sure?" the pale-skinned girl sniffled uncertainly.

I smiled, "Yes, Jade. I'm sure of that. I'll be there for you, for anything. I'll protect you, I wouldn't forgive myself if anything bad ever happened to you again. Because honestly, I need you. I need you more than anything and I can't explain why but I just do. I can feel it so clearly."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really."

Jade bit her bottom lip, "'Cause, you know..."

"I know?"

"You know... I-I really like you too. I like like you a lot."

I laughed, the sound humming far back in my throat and chest and I couldn't remember the last time I had felt so happy. Jade West likes me. Who would've ever thought that would happen. Truth be told, I didn't even think it would happen, but now that it has I could not be beaten down ever again, "I figured as much, yeah."

Silence dropped between us for a minute and you could practically hear the gears in Jade's and my head work, trying to process what happened and let it all sink in. My heart was constantly fluttering in my chest and when I looked at Jade my stomach did a somersault or two. Even now, after all this, she looked stunning, with her thick black curls framing her hopeful face like it was some delicate portrait they needed to protect.

"So, are we like, dating now?" Jade asked after a while.

I shrugged, my heart making a leap at the words. Jade and I. Dating. I smiled widely, "I don't know. What do you think?"

"I'd say we need to take it slow. I mean, this is all new for me and for you. I've never been with a girl. I'm still not perf- I mean, myself. I still need fixing. This is going to need time one way or another," Jade says, looking down as a blush crept on her cheeks. Her face was hard and careless, but I could see the smile she was hiding tugging on her lips.

"Yeah, you're right," I slumped back against the couch, allowing myself to relax finally, "It's gonna take time. But I'm willing to wait."

I looked over to Jade and she sat there like a little child, radiating a happiness that only she could feel. The smile on her face told me things she couldn't put into words. She knew things were not okay yet, but she was getting there. Slowly but surely, she would get there. All her worries would be long gone. I would make sure of that.

Together we would make sure that everything was going to be the way it used to be.
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A/n: WOOOT! JORI! I hope you all liked that because I know you've been waiting for it.
Please leave me a review, I love all the support I'm getting! Thanks a bunch, you guys, you make it worth to write.
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Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious

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