The Bitterness of the Rain

By: Danni Lynn

Chapter 11: Past Revised

~+!Saya's Pov!+~

They stared at me with mistrust in their eyes as their bodies held a rigid alertness that only made me more aware of what I had done. Diva's dress was torn and ripped in some places where splotches of blood dotted some of the rips. She stared intently at the ground, refusing to meet my earnest and sincere eyes.

I hadn't meant to cause the damage I had done.

I hadn't meant for the way things went to turn out like that.

I hadn't meant to sever the only ties I had in the world.

Of course, this was my punishment for destroying what I had created.

What a cruel, heartless, damning creature I am.

Solomon stared right at my face with no expression what so ever, though I had known him long enough that he was hurting. They all were. His normal white attire was stained crimson as his jacket and white dress shirt were gone and laid on the floor, in a shredded heap leaving his chest bare and exposed. Old scars from his human years crossed each other in a strange pattern as if they had been inflicted on purposely.

Nathan stood some-way from me in a good enough distance to avoid me but tackle me if I laid a finger in Diva in any harming way. Though he was her chevalier, it wasn't unnatural entirely to do such a thing but was odd for him to act that way towards me. It was understandable. My own chevalier wouldn't even look me in the eyes.

I sighed as I sat back on the bed. No one moved. Not a muscle twitched in even the slightest movement. The room was completely still all waiting to pounce on my every move if it meant a threat to the linage of the chiropteran race. I reached forward and grabbed my little sister by the waist and dragged her down with me onto the bed on our backs. The chevaliers tensed. She tried to sit up but I grabbed her shoulder.

She didn't say a word. Neither did I, but the demand was right there on the tip of her tongue, ready to jump out and snap. Let go, was what she seemed to whisper though not a syllable of out language was uttered.

She attempted to get up off the bed and as far away from me as she could get but I held her down. I wrapped her in my arms and rested my head on her shoulder. "I have a story to tell." I whispered in her ear. Alas chiropteran hearing is far beyond that of a human so everyone that stood amongst us in that room at that very moment heard ever single thing I said. I didn't care. What I had to say was for ALL to hear.

"No…" She muttered in a voice so low I barely heard it for it was the fact I was right next to her. This time, instead of gently pulling me away, she ripped my hands off her and shoved me away. I wasted no time in capturing her again. Nathan was at my side in a moment but I was already holding Diva down. I pushed her flat on her back and sat on her stomach. Her big blue eyes stared at me in shock. I held her wrists above her head.

"You might want to hear this." I told her. She shook her head, refusing to let me explain everything that had led up to that very moment. Nathan grabbed my arm, Solomon my other. I glanced at them and frowned.

"Let me." I commanded with authority and power laced in my voice; my stare challenging. Solomon's hold wavered in strength but Nathan held firm.

"I said let me talk. Get your hands off me or I will use force." Once again I commanded them. Diva's eyes flickered with fear but she didn't let it register on her face, so I ignored it. Solomon squeezed a little on my arm in a hopeful way before he let go. I turned to Nathan. Our gaze was simple. It held dominance over power. Power of who would back down and who would be the victor. I raised an eyebrow, encouraging Nathan's angry stare. I had done a lot to make him angry. I hurt Diva. Once, twice, three times and still counting but I had done it all for the benefit of their love or the reason of other importance (hopefully anyway).

Diva sighed and I felt her instantly relax in my grip so I let her go but didn't move from my spot on top of her. "Nathan, let her speak as she wishes. It can not be anymore worse than what she has already done." (ouch that stung) Diva demanded. Nathan bowed and let go but not before he gave me a warning glare.

I flashed Diva a thankful smile in which she did not return as I got off her and stood. Diva sat up and stared at me waiting for my explanation to come. I sat down on the couch and pulled my knees up to my chest while resting my head on my legs. Everyone stared. Everyone waited. Waited for the one thing I had kept locked away for such a long, long time. My own sister didn't even know my darkest secrets. Though I did know hers, even she didn't know what I knew about her.

I laughed with dark thoughts in mind as I lied my head on the top of the couch and watched the ceiling fan go around and around. Around and around. Like a merry-go-round.

"It all started years after I was taken away from Diva. Every day was hell as much as it was a gift. I lived. So did my sister. I was thankful. I was hateful. I was me. They ran test after test. Each day is etched into my mind like as if it was written on paper, detail by detail. Blood was drawn, pain was caused, and curiosity was fed. You will never know even half of what I know. I was locked in a cellar. It was completely dark. Pitch blackness. Most people can't even stand that for a few moments. I was there for years. YEARS! My only was companion were the horrible men that had put me there. Well, one day...

Tap-tap! Tap-tap! (pause) Tap-tap! Tap-tap! The rats. Their here again. At least I won't have to hear just my own breathing for a change. It had been a couple of weeks (I think) after the incident with Anshel. At the sudden thought of what he did brought tears to my eyes. They ran down quietly. My only weakness; my own pain.

I hadn't heard a thing from anyone for weeks. I was thirsty, literally. This must be my punishment for causing him to bleed. I thought not regretting it even once. Damn bastard deserved it. I reasoned with a smirk but it instantly disappeared as the pain started again.

I cried out and clutched my stomach, doubling over in agony. Then as soon as it was appeared it was gone. As the pain ebbed away, I rested my head against the wall and sighed. My body was in a weaker state than usual and just the normal abdominal pain was leaving me gasping for air. Sweat trickled down my brow as I laid my hand on my stomach. The lack of blood and the strange cramps were exhausting on the body.

Suddenly the cellar door opened and somebody jumped the landing and ran towards me. The handcuffs that bound me were instantly taken off and I was hoisted into the air and carried out of my accursed entombment. "Saya! Saya!" Laughter filled my ears and for one instant I thought that my sister was calling me but once more my name was said and I knew it wasn't her.

As soon as I opened my eyes, I closed them. A blinding light flooded into my dark adjusted eyes. I cracked one open and peered out into the day-world that surrounded me. Anshel stood before me with a smile plastered onto his face as he held me at arms length waiting for some reaction.

I trembled in fear as I shrunk away from his grip hoping he'd just leave me alone.

"Now, now dear, don't be like that." He grinned as he picked me up and twirled me into the air. I yelped in fright as my ragged and worn down dress billowed in the breeze. He gently set me down. His eyes shining with childish delight. "Saya, the test was a success!" He smiled at me sincerely. Tears ran down my face and I felt my knees buckle. I sobbed and sobbed.

"Oh god, oh god.." I cried out in a fear-ridden mantra. Anshel got down onto one knee and cupped my chin as so he could peer into my eyes. He studied me with a concern face. "What's wrong my dear?" He gently soothed me. I pushed him away and cried even harder. "Oh god, don't hurt me. Please don't hurt me. Leave me alone." I choked out in shaky gasps. Anshel tilted his head back and laughed. I squealed in fear and moved away just a little bit.

Anshel picked me up bridal style and spun me around. Pain erupted like little pin-pricks from my stomach and I screamed at the horrible feeling as I wiggled to get to my feet. Anshel instantly stopped spinning and set me down. I stood with his jacket grasped in a death-grip as I let the pain make its way through my body. As it disappeared I let my hands fall to my side and panted for breath.

Anshel enveloped me into his arms and whispered to my ear, "Why would I hurt my beautiful pregnant bride?" Suddenly the world was spinning and I dropped to the ground in a stunned heap. "Pregnant?" I squeaked.

The sun shone brightly and the breeze was fine and cool but though the day itself was normal my insides were running rampant with fear, joy, rage, and curiosity.

"That very day Anshel bought me a beautiful dress and made me his bride. I remember laying down next to him in his bed. I fell asleep instantly, for it was the first time I have ever slept on something other than a cold stoned floor. Though I was terribly frightened to the very man that whispered death to me practically everyday I was down in that cellar, cradling my humanity in my arms just waiting to snap and lose my mind. Five months later they cut me open and thus upon I gave birth to a pair of twin girls. That was one of the worst nights had ever had in that place. I was awake during the entire procedure..."

Screaming. It was so loud, too loud. Was it mine? I had no idea. I heard silent cursing as they stared in awe, fascination. Watching me. Observing my pain, having no idea what hell I was going through. The blade was cold against my skin as the children kicked and kicked from the inside. Willing themselves to be free from their flesh prison.

They made the incision slow; the blood welled up in little beads then they made the laceration larger and longer. I banged my head against my metal restraints as my ankles and wrists were rubbed raw from the scratchy clothe shackles that bound me to the metal stretcher.

Two men stood around me. One held me down, the other gripped the knife that was cutting inside me. Blood was oozing out from the wounds in a steady flow. Sweat trickled down my face as my skin was clammy from the cold stale oxygen. The putrid smell of death hung in the air as the only light was from a small lamp that was hanging from a rafter from the low hanging ceiling. Then they place their hands inside of me. Searching, moving, touching. I felt everything. My eyes bulged out of my head as my body completely seized up in tension like a stiff board. Then they were pulling, heavy, burdening weight was gone but the pain didn't cease none the less.

As my focus came back, I spotted Anshel lifting my child up into the air and studying it. After wrapping a blanket around the cocoon like thing that I just knew was the very babe that I had bore into my body for months was carried away with my other child. Anshel leaned forward and whispered, "Good job." before he got up and took the lantern into his hands.

He was still covered in blood so when he gripped the handle of the lantern it slipped and broke onto the side of the metal stretcher. Shards of glass spewed over onto the ground and embedded itself into my skin as the oil from the lantern caught flame onto my flesh. Anshel made no move to help as he stood and watched the fire spread down onto my body, warping my flesh from its tanned white to a burnt black. Heat encased every single feeling in my mind as I smelled my own flesh rot off. It wasn't until I was shrieking pain did Anshel run off. I yelled at him to come back, but I was cut short as the flames licked at the still open wound. It wasn't until the fire encased my exposed insides that I began to know the true meaning of hell's flames.

After from what seemed like forever, Anshel came back with at least a dozen men, each holding buckets of water. They poured it onto me constantly trying to drench out the fire. Soon the fire was out and I was left my nerves exposed and raw as my burned insides began to slowly heal. I kept screaming out my agony, as Anshel hurriedly undid my restrictions.

As soon as I was free I grabbed the nearest servant by the wrist and moved from my spot on the metal bed. My fangs extended and I latched onto the poor child's throat, sucking in every drop of his life. The body landed with a soft thud, but I wasn't done. The men scattered out into different directions, far away from me they ran.

I trailed after them with my inhuman speed. It didn't take long to catch and drain another. Soon, two...four...six...eight were dead.

I stood amongst their ruins and sighed in relief. My thirst was quenched and my burns and wounds were healing at a fast rate. My skin was flaking and shedding new skin as my exposed organs began to stitch themselves closed. Anshel wrapped me into his arms and cried out in apologies. I didn't know whether to forgive him or thank him for getting rid of the fire and giving dinner.

"Soon after Anshel no longer showed me any more affection that was close to human nature and began his tests once more. I wasn't as horribly afraid, for that Anshel granted me access to my children and a prison that was just a room with one barred window. Though I was able to see the light for just a little while. It was far from heaven but it was indeed the closest I was ever given in that place during that time." I paused, letting my story sink in. Nathan stared at me with his jaw clenched and conflicting emotions battling in his eyes. Solomon had tears in his eyes that were running down his face as he watched me with shock, but my focus was on my sister.

She hadn't shown a single emotion through the entire story so far. She didn't move but watched me solemnly. She knew what I was thinking and sneered. "You expect me to come weeping to you with my head bowed kissing your feet, hoping you'll forgive me? Get a clue sister dear, I have known that very same life. Actually, I've had worse. Though you wouldn't know that would you? You've been too self indulged in your own self pity to see that." She coldly laughed. I raised my hand to stop her. She clamped her mouth shut and stared.

"I didn't say I was done did I? Sister dear, that was only one of the worst nights I had. I have had several as in many of those nights. Care to let me explain the rest of it?" I snapped back in a sweet, kind monotone. Diva frowned and narrowed her eyes. Which I interpreted was a sign for me to continue.

"As I was saying, that wasn't even half of it. It took me a month to completely heal from the fire damage and in that month I stayed in bed being fed with a glass of blood every three days. Soon a couple of years had passed and my little girls had grown from being cute little babes to young children. By then, Anshel had let me go outside and play with my children only with Hagi or himself supervising me as to make sure we didn't make a dash for it. Anshel came to me with a proposition..."

The sky was cloudy and rain poured down in a light sleet. The children clung to my white dress, looking at me with pleading eyes. It was in the middle of the winter and my dress with thick and warm but as it rained that soon changed. The little ones were wrapped around my body, clinging for heat; warmth.

"Mother, its cold, can we go inside to play?" The blue eyes one shivered. I placed a hand onto her head and gently stroked away the bangs from her eyes. " Yes, mother, lets go inside where its warm." The red-brown eyed other duplicate muttered through chattering teeth.

I knelt down and hugged both of them tightly. I kissed each of them onto the forehead and kept them close. "You know that if we go inside we won't be able to see each other till tomorrow." I explained to them. They looked at me with pleading eyes. I knew that it was a lie. Anshel wasn't letting me see my children all the time like he had originally had explained, it was becoming every other week, every now and then. I wasn't ready to leave my children just yet. Though as they kept shivering and their noses became runny did I sigh and give in. "Alright." They gave me their little crooked smiles as we headed back towards the mansion, but Anshel stopped us long before we got there.

His height was overbearing as he stared us down. I glared at him with undetermined hatred. He had been beating my children when I wasn't around. They had told me so themselves.

"Saya. I have a job for you." He bellowed at me. I sneered at him in disgust. Last time he had a job for me it was to kill somebody that was becoming major competition for his company's research.

"What might that be?" Malice was laced in my voice and Anshel struck me across the face for the defiance, but I just straightened my posture and raised my chin up, meeting his eyes once more. "Don't test me woman." He threatened as his steely dark eyes bore in mine. Tremor of terror swept through my being but I willed it away. He would never live to see the day I fall to my knees before him, I would make it so.

"Fine, explain." I gave in, and pulled my children close. He squatted down and met their gaze with their own. He frowned at them before he looked back up at me and stood. "These children," he signaled to the twins that were wrapped up in my arms, clinging for warmth, "Are to be trained to kill and you shall be their teacher."

I knew that calculating, desperate, cold curiosity glaze any where. Anshel had something terrible planned for my daughters and I, and since it was coming from this horrible man then it certainly wasn't good. "Absolutely not!" I snapped at him. He smacked me hard it enough that it brought me down to the ground. I clutched my cheek as it stung and glared up at him through rain filled eyes.

He laughed at the sight of me. "Ah, Saya my dear, through all these years, you haven't once lost your touch. Your still one hell of a bitch to mess with, but you shall teach these children to kill. Or I will stain my hands with their blood. Teach them with your ruthless behavior, from now on. Any warm affection you show them I will murder them. Today shall be their first lesson, here's some rope, they shall not fed human food, only blood. Make them starve. Tie them to a tree and beat them, again and again while yelling the very things I taught you." Shoving rope into my hand, he gave me a toothy grin before he sauntered away.

The children that I loved with all of my heart clung to my skirt with the smooth cloth crunched up in their ting fists. They stared at me wide-eyed, unsure of what their father had done. "Why did Father strike you? Did you make him mad?" The oldest sibling of the two, Isabella, watched me with her wide cerulean blue eyes. I didn't turn and answer her, but glared daggers through Anshel's back as he disappeared through the doorway.

My other child, Victoria, was the braver of the two and was much colder to her father than her sister, Isabella. She hated him, it was very clear to see that, Anshel took that for granted and abused her more often. "What is it he wanted you to do?" She demanded with her voice filled with fear and concern.

I took a deep breath and harden my expression and gently pushed my children away from me. I clutched the rope with all my might, hoping that whatever god that I was praying to would hear my plea and forgive me for what I was about to do. I whipped around and grabbed the twins' by the arm and dragged them away into the woods. They cried out in fright as they tried to keep up with my fast pace. "Mother! Mother, what is it we did?" Victoria shrieked out as she tried to pull away. She had enough beatings in her young life to know when an adult was angry and when she was about to be taught a 'lesson'.

Their fear filled screams pierced my very heart and that was when I knew if were to be able to retain my soul I would be forced to lock away my heart and train my sweet little daughters the life of which I had known. Oh, how it would kill me if they were to die.

"Isabella, Victoria! Stand by the tree and stand still, don't you dare move!" I yelled as thunder began to boom and deafen our ears. If it had a day with sunshine and clear blue sky you would have seen the tears that ran down my face. I had not ever wanted my children to have the life I had been forced to live, in some ways they hadn't but they would know pain like they had known happiness. It would simply become another factor of life they would have to deal with.

I tied them to the tree as tight as I could manage and paced out in front of them.

"You shall kill!

You shall show no mercy!

You shall love, hate, cause and know pain!

You shall receive all orders and obey!

You shall obey!

You shall carry out your mission even if it meant your last breath!

You shall be strong!

You will have no weakness!

You will know no love!

You will only know rage and hate!

Rage and hate!

Rage and hate!

Death shall be your ally!

You shall kill!

You shall show no mercy!"

I repeated this over and over again. Day after day, my children screamed in anger yelling me to stop and leave them alone. For me to die. Their anger rose every hour, minute, and day that passed. Victoria stared at me with hatred that was forever burned in my soul. Isabella wept till she could cry no more and scream and kicked. When they fought and struggled, I struck them till they were bleeding.

I didn't move from their spot. I stayed with them. If they were not aloud sleep then neither did I. If they hated me then I hated myself as well. If they cried I cried. If they were to starve then I would do myself the pleasure and starve with them.

I repeated it over and over. The same mantra Anshel drilled into my head, I drilled into theirs. By the sixteenth day, I stopped, it was cold and windy as heavy clouds hung low in the sky. Their eyes were bloodshot and their teeth were extended into fangs as they bared their teeth at me in a snarl. Their skin was stretched tight over their bones as they were starved. They had no energy to fight but they had enough to hate me and remember to hurt me in the future.

Anshel came out of the shadows with a chained servant following behind. Once Anshel caught sight of the twins he smirked, but when he saw me in the same state of being, he glanced at the servant and sighed, "Perhaps I should have brought another, no?" He asked me. I shook my head and scowled at him. Just because my children would be fed does not mean I would.

"Untie them Saya, let them have their first kill." I avoided his gaze and did as he told me. As I let the rope drop to the ground, Victoria went up to me and whispered low into my ear, "You will know the hell that I have known." She threatened me before she linked arms with her sister and muttered to her about things. Anshel shooed them towards the servant and began to explain things, but I turned my head and looked away. Tears ran away with the wind as it blew my hair to the East. The sun was setting and it was causing the lake from in the distance to reflect an orange color.

"I already have my daughter, I already have. It is far from over." I muttered so low that barely I heard it.

"That was only the beginning. Isabella and Victoria faced much more harsh training, if I slacked even once on their training, it would cost them their graves. I was ruthless but I did what I thought I had to do. By the time they were young women, they hated me more than anything in the world. Of course they weren't the only ones that hated me just as much." I stopped as tears began to run down my cheeks as the memories of the torture I put the twins through came thrashing into my mind. The next much worse than the before. I knew my sins, as did my daughters. God would never let me live it down, even if he did, I certainly wouldn't let myself the luxury anyway.

Solomon was just watching me blankly as horror and reality struck him a blow that none other could. Tears wouldn't stop streaming down his face just like my own.

Nathan wouldn't look at me. Probably lost all respect for me, I assumed. Diva though, she still watched me with hate filled eyes. Her scowl was clear and I knew she wouldn't forgive for what I was about to tell her. It would shatter her as much as it did me.

"You will never forgive me." I told her as my voice began to crack with emotion. Surprise flickered over face but was quickly replaced with confusion. "What do you mean?" Her voice was quivering with fear, not knowing what was to come. "They do not live, Diva." This was what was to be the final straw of anything we had together as sisters. She did not understand what I was tell her, but she would know soon. As did the chevaliers.

My existence brought death.

I lived death.

I knew death.

Death was what my life was all about.

What is this that Saya knows will hurt Diva more than anything? What will happen to the twins? What tortures did Saya put them through? Until the next chapter, Audio!

-Danni

P.S. Reviews are always nice as are ideas for the story, they might be used.

Your reviews give me inspiration to write, just keep that in mind

^.- teehee!