Author's Note - apologies to all you yanks out there, as is not a very u.s friendly entry. But I couldnt help myself. If you're not clued up on british tv then How to Look Good Naked is a make over show that makes people more confident by making them get naked in front of a live audience. Its good to be British!
Cheers for all the reviews so far. Master chief does take requests so if you have anyone you want him to harass let me know and I'll see what I can do
Master Chief
A Stasis Pod
The Rear End of Dawn
Deep Space
CH2 6NH
20/10/2553
Dear Gok Wan,
It would be my dearest wish to be on How To Look Good Naked. I've seen the miracles that you work with a oversided clutch bag and some chunky jewellery and wish that I could look as good as the people in your show.
You see, for the longest time, I've had issues with my body. My least favourite part of myself is my hair. I've had this 70s mullet and mutton chops for as long as I can remember. I don't dare take my helmet off in front of the other troops because I'm scared that they will laugh at it. I'm scared that they will call me horrible names like BeeGee Boy and Ron Burgundy. I know I should have sorted it out, but with saving the galaxy and rescuing my ex girlfriend every two days I've just been too busy.
And as for my wardrobe. The only thing I feel comfortable in is this green armour combo. Sometimes I branch out to other colours, red and blue. But these are only on the days when I'm filming. I'm not really sure it does anything for my skin tone. The Fable guy mocks me with his fabulous wardrobe, his waif like thighs. It makes me want to cry. The armour isn't very slimming. The Arbiter keeps suggesting that I should try jazzing it up with a wide belt to draw attention to my slim waist. He is a sweetie, but I'm not sure I've got the confidence to pull it off. On the upside, it would be a useful place to keep extra ammo for my assault rifle. My allies get rather annoyed when I let them die just so I can steal theirs. Keyes lectures me all the time about the senseless waste of human life. Just because I sort of let her father die. He should have never cheated against me in that poker game, that's all I'm saying.
Anyway, I really hope you can help me get my confidence back, so I could be brave enough to do that naked photo shoot and runway. Because although I am a lean mean killing machine, I want to feel like I can carry off a array of stunning swimwear.
I know you are the person to get me out of this suit
Yours sincerely
Master chief Petty Officer John 117
