So, like last time, read as though there were no chapter break.

Enjoy!


Chapter 11

Inside, Suzaku felt frustrated and confused. He failed to understand why this sort of thing was thrust upon him without prior knowledge. This must have been in the works for... well, at least a few hours for Lelouch to be flown to the homeland and his memory to be rewritten.

Why had the Emperor not told him about any of this? He did not want Suzaku to be angry? Did not want there to be a chance Suzaku would not follow through with being Lelouch-Julius' defender? That did not seem likely at all. Of course Suzaku would obey despite his personal feelings toward Lelouch.

So, it had to be something else.

A test? Not of loyalty to duty, but to see how he reacted under pressure? To see how he could handle the most unexpected of situations? That may be it. He was an Eleven, and he was just made a Knight of the Round. Even before the Emperor he may have to prove his worth, prove he was more worthy than any Britannian promoted to the Round.

Yes. That could be the reason.

If it were... how was he "scoring" thus far?

No matter what it was thus far, he needed to do better. He needed to prove he could handle anything.

He almost wanted to tell Lelouch-Julius "I'm ready!" or "We should get going" or something to that effect... or even... to the effect that he stood ready to protect him...

However, he decided against both of those routes. Go? Sure, he would go, but suggesting to move this along without knowing any details was not only not intelligent, but with the Emperor sitting right there, knowing he knew nothing about what was going on, it would look beyond stupid and as though he was trying to hold his ground... or even impress the Emperor.

Blindly rushing into a task which involved being another person's shield and sword was never the type of thing one should attempt without knowing the details of the mission and exactly who posed the threat to the one you were guarding.

As such, the Emperor should see it as a wise move he wanted information before leaving with Lelouch-Julius. He should also favour this more so when considering it was the Emperor himself who wanted Lelouch to be this Julius person and must have also been behind arranging Suzaku to guard him.

Blindly setting off without knowing from whom he was defending the Emperor's chess piece would be... unkindly viewed.

No longer having words to move this along, and knowing it would be odd to request he speak privately with the Emperor, and still not knowing just how much Julius thought Suzaku knew, Suzaku signaled with a renewed stance he was ready for the task. A strained (at least for Suzaku) silence followed. It was not long. Not really. It just seemed painfully long to Suzaku. However, he managed to carefully time it so that he appeared on the verge of speaking just as another spoke, and, him being the subservient Knight he was, immediately backed down so "higher" man could speak.

Suzaku did time it well. He did not know who would speak first, but did not care, either. He did not even care if it was Lelouch. He was willing to let Lelouch speak instead of him... basically because he had nothing to say and just pretended he did at the right moment so that it would not be known he did not actually know the best words to say.

It was all a part of trying to say safe things- and act in a safe manner while he learned what he should know. He fully expected to hear that... rich yet sickening voice which proceeded from his former friend's mouth- yet, it was... not even a voice which spoke to disrupt the start of the sentence which truly had no start, middle, or end.

It was a noise.

Knock knock.

Three pairs of eyes looked toward the doors. A moment later, a door opened. A Captain entered and strode partway down the room, then stopped and gave a formal bow.

"Forgive me, Your Majesty."

"What is it?"

"Something has come up. It is a matter which will be easily remedied with Mr. Kingsley's assistance. It must be attended to before he can leave. I need him to come with me when you are finished with him, Majesty."

Set up.

That was the first thing which popped into Suzaku's mind. Unless it was an emergency, the Captain would not have disturbed this little meeting. Clearly, he had been waiting outside to time his appearance. That made Suzaku wonder if the room was bugged so he could listen in to know when he should appear.

He only thought about it for a moment. The room was bugged. It only made sense. So, that must mean-

Julius and Suzaku both looked to the Emperor, whose eyes met the eyes of the young man who no longer remembered he was a prince or that he stood before his father.

"You may go now."

Julius made a formal bow. A sensation pricking at Suzaku made him look at that piercing amethyst eye. No words needed to fall upon the air to relay with crystal clarity the thoughts which were in Julius' mind.

First: he thought it was grossly inappropriate Suzaku had not bowed to the Emperor when the two of them were leaving, leading to-

Second: he expected Suzaku to follow. He was leaving and that meant the one assigned as his protector should be following. So, that meant they were leaving, yet Suzaku made no motion to indicate he was going anywhere.

Seething.

Suzaku needed to use every bit of control he had to not display the fact he was seething. It was not bad enough Lelouch was Zero, it was not bad enough he murdered Euphy, it was not bad enough he had not paid for that crime with his life already, it was not bad enough Lelouch was supposed to have lived a peaceful life while being used by the Emperor, it was not bad enough that he was now to be a protector to the man whose blood he wanted running warm upon his hands-

now, again, he was... being looked down on by the new persona the Emperor implanted within Euphy's murderer.

"I will send Sir Kururugi to you after I have given him a few instructions about his duties toward you," the Emperor voiced, calling Julius' and Suzaku's attention to him.

Wordlessly, Julius gave another formal bow, turned on his heel, then strode toward the waiting Captain, his cape swishing behind him. Suzaku watched the dark haired man leave, his head held high. His expression was pokerfaced. He was appeased enough to not question the Emperor, but he had not looked the slightest bit apologetic to the vibe he had been shooting into Suzaku.

Logically, it made sense. Suzaku should have bowed. He should have expected to leave. Julius was justified in his reaction.

Normally.

Suzaku was not that generous at the moment.

Even so...

Lelouch was making him feel inadequate and did not even know it.

That burned Suzaku down to his very soul.

The Captain bowed to the Emperor as he closed the door. With that, one of the greatest and most disturbing shocks of Suzaku's young life was out of view. He turned to the Emperor, fully expecting answers. There was a pause as he held the gaze of the Emperor, neither man speaking. Finally, the Emperor shattered the jagged silence which had settled over the room.

"All things considered, I am impressed at your reaction to seeing Lelouch in such a manner."

This time, Suzaku did not try to time a response to another person's words. This time, he merely maintained eye contact and kept his mouth closed. One might normally say "thank you" or at least bow in gratitude or acceptance. Suzaku did neither.

Suzaku knew he was treading a fine line. Charles was still the Emperor of the superpower Britannia. Suzaku was a Knight of the Round. Charles could easily strip him of that title. Even though they were connected in a way others were not- Lelouch and Geass- that would take him just so far... it would allow him just so much leeway.

He was sure the Emperor would take into account his shock and anger. Still, he would have his limits. Suzaku knew that. Suzaku knew that, yet he just...

The Emperor continued, unfazed. If he thought ill of Suzaku's familiarity, lack of respect, or was amused by this strong Knight of the Round, or if he truly was impassive to the lack of a normal response- nothing showed.

Suzaku remained silent, expecting the explanation and the details behind Suzaku's own condemnation to follow. Lelouch might have been brought in a prisoner. Lelouch might have had his memory rewritten to be of use to the Emperor before he would be executed. However, it was also Lelouch who was now, clearly in some position of authority and, if things panned out the way Suzaku could painfully see them shaping up... it was Suzaku who was being punished by having to safeguard the man he wanted to murder.

As he expected and as he wanted, the Emperor continued.

"There has been a temporary alteration in my use of Lelouch. For now, I need him- and potentially his Geass- elsewhere."

"!" Suzaku's eyes widened in shock a moment. Yes, he already assumed the Emperor had other uses for his son, but... the mention of... Geass, the mention of Lelouch's Geass, the mention of that power to twist people's wills...

It disturbed Suzaku that the Emperor would want to utilize it... utilize it after it was the cause of Euphy's death.

...If he were to safeguard Lelouch, if Lelouch had to use the Geass... would that mean... Suzaku would... have some hand in that sin? That thought sickened Suzaku to the point he could almost feel vomit rising within him. The Geass he despised even more than he despised the one who used it, the Geass which turned Euphy into a coldblooded killer... was he now going to have to consent to its use? Was he... really going to have to protect Lelouch for the express purpose of turning someone else into someone that person was not... of making someone do something that person would not otherwise?

As if he could read every thought which raced through Suzaku's mind, the Emperor grinned a cunning, unsympathetic grin.

"That's right. Lelouch may very well need to use that Geass. That is why his memory has been rewritten again so that he will be of new use to me."

"What..." Suzaku had to pause. He felt sick and slightly lightheaded. The room fell just short of starting to spin. The Emperor knew his feelings about Lelouch and about Geass. There was no point in appealing to him. He wanted no part of this. If it had to happen... he did not want it on his hands.

More than that, he wanted to put a stop to it.

He knew that would not happen, though. The Emperor already knew Suzaku's feelings and he already made up his mind. He was going to use Lelouch in this fashion. End of discussion.

Suzaku needed a moment to gather himself, to not feel so sick- to not look sick. The Emperor already knew his feelings. Showing them so openly would only make him look weak. They may be on the same side, they may share the secret of Zero's identity, they may share the secret of a prince of Britannia still being among the living when he was counted among the dead years ago, they may share the secret of Geass, but Suzaku held no faith the Emperor would not thrive on his weakness.

Lelouch and Nunnally, in the past, told him too much about the Emperor for him to think otherwise. Suzaku did think they were telling the truth and he did believe their assessment of the man before him.

"What is he to do now?"

"Have you heard about the turmoil in Area 11?"

Suzaku nodded. He hoped the Emperor would not ask him specifics. While it was true he knew it was still in an upheaval from the Black Rebellion, he did not know details. His duties here in the homeland kept him busy. Moreover, he intentionally did not keep tabs on the latest disturbances and the countermeasures. As much as he wanted to help the Japanese... for right now, just for a little while... he wanted to remove himself from the place he lost the one woman he loved with his heart and soul...

Later, after he grieved a bit more... and his heart healed just a little bit... he would do all he could for the Japanese- not only for their sake, but for Euphy's as well. She wanted them to be able to call themselves "Japanese" again. She understood. She...

"The people are still stirred by the Rebellion led by Zero. Our forces have subdued much of it, but strikes continue to spring up. They have not lost all fighting spirit."

Suzaku tried to keep his mind on the words the Emperor spoke. The next few words were lost to him, but he could not concentrate. He never felt more like a betrayer than he did at this very moment. It was like seven years ago. If Japan had fought to its last...

It still would have lost. Nothing would have changed about that. Still, they would have been defeated knowing they had done all they could. It would be crushing to know they lost, that they were conquered, but at the same time there would be a small source of pride knowing they had done all they could.

Here, sparks of hope continued to rise within the hearts of the Japanese... because of Lelouch.

Suzaku had mixed feelings. Lelouch held out a true chance of freedom to them. Freedom from Britannian rule. It was not just certain people within a certain zone being able to call themselves "Japanese"- it would be everyone. They would be able to be again. In that sense, Lelouch did more for the Japanese than Euphy and more than Suzaku had been able to do in all this time he had been a soldier trying to change things from the inside.

For that, Suzaku could extend Lelouch a small amount of gratitude. It was his people Lelouch was risking all to help. That made Suzaku wonder if he should have helped Lelouch. His methods were completely wrong, but if they had worked together he might have been able to steer Lelouch a slightly different way. Maybe Japan could have been free and it could have been freed with less wrong methods.

Of course, Lelouch's path led to much bloodshed.

For that, for all the lives which were cut short- both Japanese and Britannian- Suzaku resented Lelouch for stirring the Japanese with so much hope that they were still trying to rebel even after Britannia crushed most of the rebellion- and their leader along with it.

Also, because of this bloodshed, Suzaku knew he could not have worked with Lelouch. It was like that from the start.

Lives were still being lost... because of Lelouch. Now, without Zero, the Japanese had... yes... a sick, ironic zero chance of winning. Despite the reasons Suzaku hated Lelouch, he could still extend to him the... compliment that he was very keen, excellent at assembling people, a superb strategist, he... well, he had many excellent skills that qualified him to lead military operations... or terrorist attacks.

The Black Knights. They were, basically, Zero's fighting force. A small army. Under Zero, under Lelouch, they were not disassembled rebels- they were a fighting force. A true fighting force which bested Britannia on more than one occasion. Never before had any rebel group done so much damage or caused Britannia to focus so much time and energy to squash a rebellion.

Yes. Lelouch, leading the Black Knights, truly posed a threat to Britannia. If Lelouch had not killed Euphy but had still rejected the Specially Administrated Zone of Japan, if Suzaku had not been fueled by solemn hatred to stop Zero... which may very well have led to Lelouch not being captured... would Lelouch have been able to lead the Black Knights to victory over Britannia?

Honestly, Suzaku doubted it. He would have needed more than what he had. Given time, he may have acquired more supplies and more of a fighting force. Perhaps other nations would have joined him. Perhaps, at that time... the teenage boy just might have been able to topple Britannia's rule over Japan.

...Perhaps he might have even been able to crush Britannia as he once promised he would all those years ago...

Speculation mattered little now. As Lelouch himself said once not long ago "what's done is in the past".

Anyway, without Lelouch- without Zero- the Japanese now stood no chance of winning... but lives were still being lost because Lelouch sparked too much hope of victory for them.

It was Lelouch's fault for building up their dreams only to lead them to their deaths.

"...The Chinese Federation..." Charles continued. "We need to stop them from becoming a problem."


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