An Excerpt from The Journal of John Lungbarrow-Smith
31 October, 11 p.m.-It's been seven weeks since me, Harry Potter, Ronald Weasley, Clara Oswin Oswald and Hermione J. Granger stumbled into the Forbidden Corridor and came face-to-face with the Cerberus. As it happens, Fred and George Weasley (the Marauder's spiritual successors and Ronald's older twin brothers), Terry Boot of Ravenclaw, Amy and Rory, and Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas have also stumbled in there, though I believe that it was intentional in the case of Fred and George (When is it not? Those two love providing free entertainment for the other students, except their victims).
I have been doing well the following subjects:
-Transfiguration (McGonagall is a good professor, fair but strict. She's also an Animagus)
-Charms (Flitwick is fair, and not too strict, and an equally good and competent professor)
-Potions (everybody finds it amazing as to how I've become Snape's favourite Lion, though considering his views of Gryffindor, 'favourite' is too kind)
-DADA (Despite Quirrell, who has probably succumbed to the curse on the position already, though I'm starting to think that the smell coming from his turban isn't garlic)
-History of Magic (I am the only student who can pay full attention in that class. Even Hermione Granger has her brain on half-power then, and I'm considering just ditching and reading in the library when it's on)
-Flying (though Harry Potter is several leagues better than I am, and Malfoy has some talent. I also won 5 galleons from Seamus Finnegan since it somehow leaked that Harry is Gryffindor's Seeker)
It's been a while since I last wrote in this, and I'd like to mention an event that I'm sure will become part of the school legend, and my own lifestory.
It started on Wednesday, when I was leaving Transfiguration for History of Magic. I was walking along, carrying my books, when I heard a familiar voice.
"John? Is that you?" called out Jack Harkness. I quickly turned around and grinned when I saw it was him. It had been months since I'd last seen Jack, and even though I found him slightly…..annoying at times, I still like keeping touch with him. In the normal way, not Jack's perverted way.
"Jack! Good to see you! How've you been?" I asked as we hugged, to the slight disgust of two or three of the Slytherins and one or two Gryffindors.
"I've been good. I see you met Clara, and Granger, and Longbottom. I might've mentioned something about Neville and the Prophecy to them on the train, though….."
I paused, and turned slightly pale. "You used the…uh, Retcon, right?" he asked nervously and quietly. Jack nodded with a smile. 'Retcon' was a codename we both use for Memory Charms, which Jack had somehow managed to learn about a while back. I don't know how to use the difficult spell, but I had good reason to believe that my father taught it to Jack.
"Anyways, I made sure to alter their memories so that the parts about the Prophecy were erased from their memories, but everything else I mentioned to them-which was just the Wizarding War and how Harry got his scar-is still there. They're both really cute, and pretty, too, Clara Oswald and Hermione. Mind if I have one later on?"
It seems Jack's underage libido is still intact. "No. Besides, I'd best be off, or I'll be late for History of Magic. And you will be late for Transfiguration."
Jack then ran off. I sighed and went off to face Professor Binns. I pity the future generations who will be taught by him. Take my advice-you're better off skipping that class and learning it all in the library!
The next morning, on Halloween, which is today, everybody woke up to the smell of baking pumpkin wafting through the castle, and in the Great Hall, the decorations were being finished, with Professor Flitwick supervising everything.
In Charms, Professor Flitwick decided it was time for us to learn the Levitation Charm, Wingardium Leviosa. This was wonderful, as the class had been waiting to make objects fly. For this, they were placed into pairs. Clara and Amy were together, Harry with Seamus Finnegan, I was with Neville Longbottom, and Ron with Hermione, to the anger of both of them. To tell the truth, it was impossible to tell which was angrier.
"Don't you forget that nice swish and flick wrist movement!" called out Professor Flitwick, before saying "And don't forget the wizard Baruffio, who said 's' instead of 'f' and ended up with a Buffalo on his chest!"
"Quite morbid," muttered I to Neville, who nodded in agreement. "Let's try the sp-" he then said to me before a loud explosion came from Harry and Seamus Finnegan, whose face was grey, his hair standing up on end, his clothes singed and covered in what used to be his feather, and his eyebrows singed off for the fourth time that month (Eye of rabbit, harp string hum, turn this water into rum!). Harry was also trying to put out the fire with his hat, his left ear and cheek also grey, and his robe's shoulder singed.
"You're swinging it wrong!" Hermione said to Ron. "And it's 'Levi-oh-sa', not 'Levio-sAAA'! Let me try!" So she did, and her feather went up into the air, hopefully bringing more credence to the 'blood purity does not matter' thing.
Flitwick was pleased with Hermione, as well as with myself and Neville. Harry was sort-of impressed, and I knew Ron's personality enough that he was envious and fed-up with her know-it-all attitude. How I pull off being a know-it-all with popularity among multiple students, I will never know.
As we were walking out of Charms, I began talking to Amy about Roman history when I overheard Ron saying, "It's Levi-oh-sa, not Levio-sAAA! She's a nightmare, honestly-it's no wonder she hasn't any real friends!" I could tell by Harry's face that he didn't seem too comfortable with that comment.
As for Hermione Granger herself, she heard every syllable and began running, tears coming down her face. She must've heard phrases like that all the time before Hogwarts. I should know-I've worn that look before.
We didn't see her for the rest of the day after that. It was when classes were finished that me and Clara overheard Parvati Patil and Lavender Brown saying that she was crying in the girls' toilet and wanted to be left alone.
Clara gave one look at me and snatched my hand up, dragging me with her even as I tried to break loose.
"Why me?" I asked. "I want to talk to her John, and I doubt Ron will apologise that soon. Also, you are on reasonably friendly terms with her, so you can talk to her as well."
I objected by pointing out that I, as a boy, could not go into the girls' bathroom with her. "Talk from outside," came her reply. Clara can be stubborn at times.
As we neared the girls' bathroom, we both saw something strange. It was Professor Quirrell walking quickly towards us, with what appeared to be a content smirk on his face which quickly disappeared and turned into a face of shock and horror as he began running.
"What's he so happy about?" wondered Clara. "The moment he saw us, he changed his facial expression and ran off. He must be up to something," I replied. She then let go of my hand and entered the girls' bathroom, leaving me free to quietly tiptoe down the corridor.
As I neared the dungeon, a bad smell, like a public toilet nobody's bothered to clean, wafted into my nostrils. I nearly gagged, but it gave me something. There was something down here that shouldn't be down here.
And then I saw it. A mountain troll, twelve feet tall, with a giant wooden club in its hand.
To simplify it, this was trouble.
From the Great Hall, I could hear the screams of students, and Dumbledore setting off firecrackers from his wand. Presumably, Quirrell had told them about the troll.
"Oh God," I breathed out, my skin turning a light cream colour as I realised that the troll was coming towards me. Towards the girls' bathroom. Seeing as I might be seen, I turned tail and I ran.
When I reached the girls' bathroom, I heard footsteps come from where me and Clara had come, and so I hid in the doorway. It was Professor Snape, heading towards the Third Floor corridor or the troll. It is difficult to say which, really.
After a minute, I came out of the doorway and heard some more footsteps, this time with the voices of Harry and Ron. "How could a troll get into the castle? They're supposed to be really stupid!" said Harry. "Maybe it's a Halloween prank by Peeves!" replied Ron. I shook my head and said loudly to them, "Peeves knows better than to do this-he'd be exorcised if this was his doing!"
"John!" cried Harry, as they turned the corner and began running towards me.
"Hermione and Clara are inside! The troll's down there! Snape passed by, but I don't know really about where he's heading. It could be to deal with the troll himself, or to the Third Floor Corridor," I explained to them. They both nodded, and froze.
"It's there," whimpered out Ron. "It's at the other end of the corridor." I turned around, and saw he was right. Then we ran into the girls' bathroom.
"What are you three doing now?" asked Clara in a not-very-happy voice, Hermione next to her, her face showing signs that she had been crying. "Voyeurism?!"
"No, no, it's just there's a troll in the castle, and by this point now….." I paused to look at my fob watch. "It should be right outside the door."
The two girls immediately took out their wands, as did I. "What we need to do is lure in here. It'll have less space to move around. Then, one or two of us get its attention, while the rest of us knock it out. I don't want to kill it."
At this point, the troll chose to come in on its own. "Well, that makes our plan easier," said Harry. "Thank you," I replied, smiling nervously.
Clara volunteered herself to be the diversion, which she started by firing the Repulso Charm at the troll. This caused the troll to go towards her, destroying a sink with its club dragging on the ground. Ron took the opportunity to take a piece of the porcelain, run back, and throw the piece of sink at the troll's head. "Oi, pea-brain!" he called out. The troll turned and looked at Ron before advancing on us.
Harry managed to run around it and get Clara out of where she was, throwing a tap at the troll. This didn't go according to plan, as the troll began to corner them.
It was Ron Weasley though, that saved the day, as he pointed his wand at the troll's club and said the first thing that came into his head: Wingardium Leviosa, with the proper pronunciation. The club came out of the troll's grip and rose into the air. Harry and Clara ran out of the way quickly, just as the club came down with a crack on its owner's head. The troll swayed and then fell over onto the floor.
The moment it fell on the floor (with a big noise that was sure to be heard by any nearby teachers), it began to change its appearance. It shrunk by about four feet, its ears became smaller, the skin turned orange and small sucker-like things began covering its body except for the face.
"That's not a troll," said Hermione. "You're right," said I.
"Good God," said a voice. We turned around and saw Professors Snape, Quirrell and McGonagall. "A Zygon. They're worse than trolls. Intelligent, ruthless, they use wizarding money too." It was clear by now that the voice was Professor McGonagall's. Then she turned on us, her lips thin.
"Explain yourselves. All of you." She said this in a really angry and disappointed voice as Snape bent over to examine the troll. It was now that Hermione Jean Granger decided to tell a half-lie.
"It's my fault, Professor. I came to the girls' bathroom with Clara because I had a bad headache, which is why I didn't attend any of the other classes. John, Harry and Ron came down to warn us about the troll. They didn't mention this to you because it would've wasted time. Who knows what could've happened if they'd arrived later?"
Professor McGonagall looked at her, then at me, Harry and Ron, then at Clara, then at the Zygon. "Fine then," she said at last. "I understand your reasoning, Miss Granger. But still, you all nearly could've died anyway. But I…appreciate the effort and the creativity of how you took on a Zygon. So, six points each for Gryffindor. For sheer dumb luck, that is."
Most of us nodded, and we went up to the Gryffindor Tower, where the feast was being finished. For a while nobody said anything.
"It's a relief to be away from the smell," said Ron finally. Then Harry and Clara made "Ahem!" noises and he turned to face Hermione, his cheeks slightly red. "I'm…I'm sorry," he said. She nodded. "That's okay-so am I," she said.
Not many things happen in a school that can be shared with many people-troll/Zygon fighting is one of them. So is discovering where the secret passageway into the kitchens is.
It's now 11.30p.m., and most of my classmates are asleep in the dorm. I think they're right too-it is time to go to bed. So, I bid this book of my exploits goodnight. I shall begin writing in it again when Quidditch season begins.
I apologise for the lack of updates since Christmas.
The reason I've made this chapter seem to be an extract from John/11's journal is because I wanted to do something different. Also, I decided to make happened with the troll turn out differently because-well, it's an AU. I'm changing some details, but most of the major things will stay the same. Whether or not I comply to the epilogue of Deathly Hallows is up to myself and how I write any version of the other books in this little continuity.
Also, I'm amazed nobody has caught on to the hints about John's appearance over the past few chapters.
