When I woke, I was choking on invisible smoke, listening to Catherine Goode's voice echo inside my head. Just like the last fourteen times I'd tried to sleep.

I hadn't dreamt of the tombs in years. As I aged, new nightmares presented themselves to fill the void. I hadn't had an unmedicated decent night's sleep since I was twelve. It was an occupational hazard of sorts, and I'd learned to adapt.

But tonight, every time I closed my eyes, I was back in the Tombs. I was running down the claustrophobic passages at full speed, with suffocating smoke, and the knowledge that I'd left Zach to die, close on my heels.

I grabbed my phone off the nightstand and held my breath as I checked my dead letter email accounts.

Jonas.

My heart broke, as I imagined Zach getting the same news, half way around the world, with only Grant for support.

It was all wrong. Jonas was teaching at one of the most secure and prestigious schools in the country. Jonas should have been safe. But he wasn't. He was dead.

I tapped into the encrypted app I always used if I had to make a call to another agent. I dialed Zach's number.

My finger hovered over the green icon for 14 seconds as I considered my options. I could call Zach. I could talk to him. I could apologize. I could comfort him. But I could also get him killed. And I wouldn't risk that. Ever.

I deleted the numbers. I dialed again. I pressed the green icon.

"I thought you might call!"

From Liz's voice, you'd never have guessed one of her closest industry colleagues had just been murdered. She was just excited to hear from me.

"It's good to hear your voice." A sigh of relief escaped, even though I didn't realize I'd been holding my breath.

"I'm fine, Cam...eleon," Liz stumbled, almost forgetting to use code names. Though frankly, anyone who had clearance to access this phone line probably already knew my story.

"I know you're worried, but I'm fine," Liz rattled.

"Are you taking precautions?" I asked, gently cutting her off.

"Yes," she answered crisply. Even Liz knew better than to go into details. But I also knew there was nowhere she'd be safer than holed up in the Gallagher Mansion with my mother and Joe Solomon.

There was silence for a moment.

"How's he taking it?" Liz asked quietly.

"I don't know," I admitted, trying to keep my voice from cracking. "He's on deep cover. I don't know." It killed me not to know. It killed me not to be able to see Zach, and hold him, and know that he would be okay.

"How are you?" I asked. Liz hesitated.

"No one knows what happened," she said softly. "But everyone knows it wasn't an accident."

"I know," I answered. "But they'll find out. And there's no safer place for you right now."

"Joe said this has happened at Blackthorne before — sometimes there are internal political issues, apparently?" Liz tried to explain.

"You mean assassinations," I laughed hollowly. "Like back when Catherine was around."

Liz was silent for another moment before she continued.

"I've been thinking about her a lot lately," Liz said quietly. "I know it sounds silly. But I just have always remembered how much she hated it here, how she never fit in. And every time I get a new student who doesn't quite fit the mold, I think of her."

I smiled. From the day she started teaching at Gallagher part-time almost a year ago, Liz had been passionate about the welfare and training of her students. It was a perfect fit for her.

"I just want to be sure no one at Gallagher is ever that profoundly unhappy ever again," Liz said.

"Who are you worried about now?" I asked.

Liz sighed. "This new girl. She transferred in mid-year, like Macey. She's 16, but she's technically a freshman. She's the daughter of a secret service agent, she foiled a plot to kidnap the President's son last year, and she should be a perfect fit here." Liz hesitated. "But she's always alone, Cam," Liz said sadly. "At least Macey had us."

"Sounds like she's not alone, Lizzie," I assured. "Sounds like she has you looking out for her."

"I guess so," Liz admitted. "I just want every single one of them to love Gallagher as much as we did, you know?"

"I know," I answered. "Don't worry, she'll get there."

The line was silent for a few moments, while I gathered my courage.

"I've been thinking about Catherine a lot lately too," I admitted.

"Of course you have," Liz responded. "You miss Zach."

"I do miss Zach," I admitted. It felt good to say it out loud. "But he left me, Lizzie. I can't sit around moping over someone who may never be coming back."

"Cam," Liz cut me off. "Don't be ridiculous. The only thing that could ever keep Zach away from you is ..." Liz trailed off as she realized what she was saying.

"Death?" I filled in. Liz fell silent again.

"Cam..." she started, apologetically. "Zach's going to be fine."

But I knew there was no way she could promise that. Zach couldn't even have promised that. And he wouldn't have tried.

I knew Liz hadn't meant anything by her comment. All she had done was give a voice to the fears that had already been brewing inside me.

"Don't worry about it," I said quietly. "I have to go now. But I'm so glad you're okay."

"Thanks, Cam," Liz responded, and I could hear the smile in her voice. "It means a lot that you called."

"You know I love you, Lizzie." I responded.

When I hung up the phone and crawled back into bed, I tried to silence my mind. But the problem with meditation is that it only works when you're awake.

If I slept, it was only for a moment. Catherine's words snapped me awake.

"But who will take you to your Father?"

Her voice echoed in my ears, cutting through the silence of the apartment. And even though I knew she'd been dead for five years, I could have sworn she was standing next to me.


Thanks so much for joining me this week! Sorry about updating so late in the day. I'm so glad so many of you are following along and enjoying the story. Check back in next week for the next installment!