Uh-oh… torn emotions here about Sethie and Ro ;3

So now, trying to get back to my Humday Abreigns update rhythm.

I'm at work and updating this illegally, so except THANK YOUUUUU FOR ALL THE FEEDBACK, I LOVE YOU GUYS! I'm making this short.

Have fun!


- Roman -

Roman's eyes snapped up to Dean who was standing there, not even two meters away from them and cursing himself, he drew back so quickly that Seth didn't even have the time to let go of him, but he barely registered the sharp pain as a few strands of hair caught in Seth's fingers.

The expression on Dean's face was awfully blank. This... this was so not good...

Before he or Seth could utter a word, Dean stepped up to them, conjuring up a smile as he said: "So you've only come here to steal Roman, huh?"

Jokingly said but not jokingly meant. At least it sounded to Roman like that. Somewhat hollow and a bit tense. Seth was quicker than Roman to shake the surprise off, standing up to meet Dean half-way and wrap his arms around him in a tight hug.

"Good to see you," he murmured. It took Dean a moment before he brought his arms up, too, returning the hug. "How are you feeling?"

Politely peeling himself out of Seth's embrace after another moment, Dean replied: "Okay, thanks."

The smile was still in place and for someone who did not know Dean, it might have looked as if things were fine but Roman knew better. He could read it in all those tiny details that Dean's words didn't match. The subtle stiffness of Dean's shoulders. His hands, one being closed to a loose fist while the fingers of his other hand were wrapped around the wheel nut again or maybe even still, his thumb rubbing nervously over the dirty little thingy. The way his nostrils flared. The rather guarded expression in his eyes. That smile on his lips that was neither sunny nor reaching his eyes. A smile that wasn't cheerful but supposed to cover something else. Like confusion. Or... disappointment... And maybe some other emotions which Dean shouldn't have to be dealing with because they shouldn't be there at all.

The blue eyes jumped to Roman then, sending an uneasy shiver down his spine.

Fuck.

"Uhm, I'll stay with your dad at the shop for a while. An hour or so," Dean stated, ignoring Seth who was blinking at him confused about being ditched like that. His voice was as blank as his face had been. "You don't need to wait for me, I'll ride with your dad."

With that he turned away and walked off. Looking at Seth, Roman found the same uneasy feeling that sat in his guts mirroring on his friend's face and whispering a sorry to Seth, he got up from the spot he had been frozen to and followed Dean, leaving Seth behind.

"Dean!" Roman called, quickening his steps to catch up with his friend. "Dean, wait!"

Stopping, Dean turned around to him, frowning in question. Opening his mouth to explain, Roman said nothing for a moment because he had no fucking idea what to say at all. I love you? No. Not now, not here. Not after Dean's reaction because he couldn't even be sure that his friend really had no problem with him being gay...

"Your dad's waiting, so if it's nothing important then let's talk later about it."

Nothing important? Fuck yes, it was important. He'd made Dean trust him while not being honest with him and he was sorry for betraying him like that. That was fucking important, dammit.

"I'm sorry," he said then. Apologizing was a good start, right? "I should have told you that I'm gay, I... ah shit... I just didn't want to, like scare you off or..."

The frown on Dean's face deepened as he cut him off: "Don't worry. I don't have a problem with you being gay and I understand that you, you know, didn't tell me from the first moment on."

A small and a bit sad smile danced on Dean's lips. A was real one though... that vanished as fast as it had come.

"But I lied to you and that's not okay," Roman said quietly, taking a step closer and to his relief Dean didn't back out.

"You didn't lie, you just haven't told me everything. It's okay, Ro," Dean replied, wiping the relief Roman had felt away he pulled his hand away when Roman wanted to take hold of it.

"Dean..."

"Later, okay?" Dean said, giving him a crooked little smile before turning away again to go back to daddy Reigns.

Torn between following him and just going back to Seth and let Dean have his time alone here, Roman stood glued to the spot where he had been left behind, stuck in this fucking worst case scenario just because...

"Fuck…" he whispered, staring wide eyed after Dean who kept walking away without the tiniest glance back. "Fuck…!"

He flinched as a hand closed around his shoulder. Seth. It was Seth.

"You should follow him," Seth murmured but Roman shook his head no. No pushing. No pressure. It was obvious that Dean wanted to be alone now. "Rome, you…"

"No."

"You can't let him walk away like that."

Swallowing hard, he willed his heart that had started to pound hard in his chest to calm down, because he was already feeling dizzy.

"He wants to be alone," he said just above a whisper, his voice shaking under the heavy beating of his heart. "We should go."

It took him a few long seconds until he actually could move to go back to his car, not wanting though but knowing it was the right thing to do now.

The ride home was very quiet. Seth seemed to feel guilty about the whole thing, although there was no need to feel guilty. Not really. But while they were sitting in the car, Roman was so lost in his thoughts that for once he couldn't bring his mind to focus on Seth and talk things out. He was scared. Scared that he'd just ruined everything.

With his dad and Dean being at the shop and his mom being out to visit a friend, the house seemed ridiculously empty as they arrived there a while later. Well, actually it was mostly Dean's absence that caused this feeling, what was pretty irrational, given that it's been just a little more than a day that Dean was here now. Barely enough to leave an echoe of his presence behind in here that could whisper that he was missing. Yet it was what Roman heard as he made his way up to his own room with Seth following close behind.

... Dean is not here...

But he will be in an hour, he reminded himself, had to, because in a way there was still a part of him that just couldn't believe that Dean was living here now. Dean would be here again to fill the void that was reigning in the house. He would be, right? And he would be staying.

Right?

He exhaled a slightly panicked, sharp breath as an anxiety that the almost kiss had destroyed all he had worked and fought so hard for crept to the fore, but he forced it right back to where it had come from. Another sharp breath passed his lips as he braced on the windowsill Dean had been sitting on this morning. He would have felt a little better about the whole thing if Dean wouldn't have pulled his hand away because he couldn't file that gesture. Was it confusion? Disgust? Was he angry?

Fuck...

"Rome?" Seth's voice was very quiet, careful as if he expected Roman to be angry with him. "I'm sorry, you know? Wasn't my intention to kick hell loose," Seth added even quieter. With a sigh Roman straightened up and turned around to his friend who was standing in the middle of the room like a lost puppy. And every time Roman thought Seth couldn't look any cuter than he already did, he was proved wrong. Seth looked sheepish as he stood there, the brown eyes were wide and the hands stuffed in the pockets of his jeans, the shoulders hunched a little... the hair as always a bit messy. Cute. "Do you rather want me to go?"

Leaning back against the sill, Roman shook his head no, replying gently: "No, I don't want you to go. And I'm not angry if that's what you think."

"Actually, yeah, that was what I've been thinking because you looked as if you are," Seth murmured, now slowly walking up to him.

"No, it's just... I'm pissed with myself for being so stupid," Roman groaned, rubbing his hands down his face in frustration because he still had no idea how to fix this. Well, he would have to wait until Dean came home and see how he was going to react to him, would again avoid him or... whatever. When his hands dropped down again, Seth was standing right in front of him. His friend was gazing at him out from under his lashes, still somewhat sheepish yet... there was something else... Whatever this between them had been back at the shop, they needed to talk about it. "Why did you want to kiss me?" he asked then, watching as a slight blush spread over Seth's cheek and his gaze dropped to the sill in obvious embarrassment.

Seth's bottom lips got caught between his teeth and no, it didn't help a bit because it made Roman want to lean in and free it and fuck, this was a completely wrong way his thoughts were heading this very second. He didn't have a thing for Seth, definitely not because in his poor little heart was brimming over with his feelings for Dean. There was no space left for Seth in that way. But maybe... maybe his unrequited feelings for Dean were the problem here, right? And all the emotions the events had stirred in him. Maybe it all was seeking an outlet now...

"Just... because?" Seth mumbled, the blush on his face deepening.

Blinking slowly, Roman murmured: "Just because? Seth, you're not gay. Straight guys don't want to kiss other men just because."

Now it was Seth's turn to sigh as he pushed a hand through his hair, hesitantly gazing back up to Roman.

"I don't know, man, I just wanted to... I mean, you... I..." Closing his eyes, Seth dipped his head back a little and exhaled a breath that carried a fuck. "You know, when you kissed me back at the school yard, I... it felt..." Another breathed fuck followed, the brown eyes opening again but their gaze fixed on the ceiling as Seth's lips curled in a weird little something that might have been supposed to be a smile. "It felt nice, okay? You kissed me and it felt nice and at your father's shop I... I... don't know, it just happened. I wanted you to kiss me again..."

Brown met grey as Seth eventually met Roman's gaze again and suddenly... that something that had been there between back at the shop was there again. Roman could feel it and the glint in the other man's eyes told him that Seth felt it, too. It was making the air between them hum with a graspable intensity. It was back... or maybe it had never really been gone? It shouldn't be there at all but it was and it was fed by Seth's naive curiosity and Roman's pathetic need for a kind of comfort he couldn't ask from Dean. They moved at the same time, Seth coming closer while Roman reached out, twisting his fingers in the other man's shirt to pull him in until Seth was standing between his legs. A hand was lifted to be buried it in Roman's hair to tug him even closer.

Foreheads touched... The faint scent of cherry crept into his nostrils as warm breath fleeted over his face in shallow and quick puffs and closing his eyes, Roman wrapped his arms around the leaner frame, laying one of his hands on the spot between Seth's shoulder blades. Fingers splayed... the body in his arms pressing closer... and a gentle hand found a place on the back of Roman's neck... and Roman's heart, it started running while his chest clenched in the unvoiced need for comfort. Just a little bit...

Lips on his... just the idea of a touch. Tempting...

Exhaling an oh so tiny sound that sounded sad and torn, Roman drew back a little. His eyes burned suspiciously and he couldn't even tell why but as he sought Seth's eyes, he felt the tears already rise in his own. Again he was pulled in. A kiss was breathed to Roman's forehead, the so very innocent yet intimate gesture enough to make the tears fall. Gentle hands guided his head to Seth's shoulder where he buried his face in the hollow of his friend's neck, tightening his hold on the smaller man.

He willed the tears to stop, fucking wanted them not to fall but he failed, the hot liquid spilling from his eyes freely while Seth whispered soothingly to him...

Maybe an hour later his eyes were still burning but despite his little breakdown he was feeling better. For long minutes they had been standing like that, Seth soothing him while he'd been holding on to his friend as if he would drown in the mess that was his emotions if he wasn't, while his body had refused to stop the tears, as if it wanted to wash all the strain and the tension out of his system. And in a way it had worked. He felt lighter now. Relieved. Free to breathe through again and the humming that had been lying between Seth and him had dimmed to a comfortable whispering, still there but under control. They hadn't lost many words about it. A thank you from him and an anytime from Seth, followed by an admittedly wistful gaze from him. One that was shared by Seth though.

Obviously his own emotional state had been more ruffled than he had been aware all the time and now with his own feelings a bit more in order again, he could look in those chocolate seas without falling victim to his own needs. And it was what he did now, looking over to Seth who was sitting beside him on the left side of the bed, the tip of his tongue peeking out from the corner of his mouth as he stared at the flat screen in highest concentration while playing Call Of Duty. Tempting lips, a teasing tongue... he still felt a hushed urge to taste those cherry lips again and he wondered...

Pressing the pause button he murmured: "How far would you have taken it?"

Putting the gamepad aside, Seth shifted a bit until he was facing Roman.

"Thought we were through with this topic? At least for today?" Seth asked, a frown spreading on the pretty face.

"I was just wondering..." Roman stated slowly.

Just a kiss often enough led to more kisses. And then to more kisses and touches and then... well...

"To be honest... I don't know," Seth replied quietly. "It feels good to have you close and ever since you've kissed me I've been thinking about it. Fuck you for being such a damn good kisser, because you are, Reigns. So basically I've just been thinking about us kissing."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Roman snorted. "You're old enough to know that kissing often enough leads to more."

Seth shrugged his shoulders, seemingly unfazed as he answered: "Yeah, I know. And that's the weird thing about it because the mere idea of kissing a guy makes me wanna scrub my tongue with sandpaper and then you come along and... yeah. I'm not gay and I don't even have a crush on you, still I want you to kiss me and..." Seth fell silent for a moment, his gaze dropping to a random point on the bed while he seemed to turn a thought back and forth to examine it closer. "I don't know, Rome. I don't know how far I would have taken it because I can't say that the idea of taking it further with you puts me off."

Holy... shit.

Rendered speechless, Roman blinked at Seth who met his gaze again and there was no mirth written on his face or any other hint that this had been a joke.

"Seth, do you know what you're saying here?" he eventually managed to bring over his lips, unsure whether he should be amused or shocked about what was just happening and his voice was a bit breathless to his own ears but fuck, Seth had practically just said that he would...

No, don't even go there.

"Yeah, I know very well what I'm saying, Rome," Seth said, his features softening as he reached out to smooth a black strand out of Roman's face. "It's your hobby, isn't it? Being the big exception in other people's lives? In Dean's, in mine..."

Seth was right, wasn't he? In a way the three of them were the big exceptions in each other's lives, each one in their own way and with a mighty impact.

"Huh, just like you two are the big exceptions in mine," he laughed softly. "I think we deserve each other, don't we?"

Seth's hand dropped back down and found a home on Roman's thigh and for a heartbeat Roman's gaze sought that hand and not for the first time he thought that, yes, Seth had nice hand, elegant, with long, slender fingers. Gentle hands which provided comfort, which could soothe troubles.

"So right now... you want to kiss me?" he mumbled, slowly gazing back up again.

The brown eyes widened briefly... and softened.

Pretty, fawn eyed boy.

"Yes," Seth admitted wistfully, attempting to take his hand off of Roman's thigh, who covered it with his own to keep it there. "Just like you want to kiss me, but we both know that Dean has the exclusive rights on your kisses."

Looking back down on their hands, Roman sighed: "I don't think he wants them. The chances that he's into guys is close to null anyway."

Seth's hands looked so much smaller compared to his own. Not like Dean's. Dean's hands were as big as his own. Not as massive though. Dean had nice hands...

"You'll only find out if you tell him that you love him," he heard his friend say.

He knew that. Still...

"I can't."

"Tell him," Seth repeated, this time more insistently. "Maybe not today or tomorrow but do it before he finds out about it accidentally."

Pushing a hand through his hair, Roman rested his head back against the wall, puffing a bitter breath.

"I don't even know what will be when he comes home today. What if he's angry or grossed out or...?"

"Rome, stop it. Seeing his best friend almost kiss another guy is a joke compared to the shit Dean went through. I'm pretty sure that finding out that you're gay is something he can handle. That little push hasn't shoved him out of your orbit. He's stuck there, just like you're stuck in his."

"I told you this once already, Rollins, just stop being so disgustingly grown-up."

"Well, one of us has to be," Seth grinned and squeezed the thick thigh. "You feeling better, big bro?"

Roman nodded, brushing his thumb over the back of his friend's hand in a silent thank you. Companionable silence settled over them for a minute. It was nice. Calm.

"You're sitting on my place, Rollins."

Startled both men snapped their heads around to the source of the voice that had a certain edge in it. Dean was standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame with his arms crossed over his chest. His face was carefully neutral but even from his place on the bed Roman could see the glint that was sparking in the sky blue eyes. He couldn't file that glint what didn't help the least bit to make him feel better. In fact he felt his insides clench because... how long had Dean already been standing there? What if he'd overheard their conversation?

Shit.

"Your place, dude?" Seth huffed half-heartedly. "The last time I checked this was Roman's bed." Gazing over to the headboard, he tilted his head while his eyes swept over it. "No... no. Can't find a label with your name on it..." he smiled, looking back over to Dean.

Roman watched the back and forth in partly confused but surely relieved silence because if Dean would be angry or disgusted, he wouldn't claim the bed now, would he? Dean and Seth both quirked an eyebrow, Seth in slight amusement and Dean pondering while staring at each other, although... wasn't there was another emotion mingling in the expression on Dean's face? Matching the edge his voice had been dyed with?

"Been sleeping there last night, 's my place," Dean drawled as he pushed away from the frame, coming over to them. "Move your ass, Rollins."

"Marking our territory, are we?" Seth snorted, shaking his head softly.

He scooted to the foot of the bed nevertheless as Dean came to stand beside the bed, his face wearing a friendly don't mess with me, while his stance spoke of an equally friendly move or I'll make you. A pretty good impression of a dog that was raising its hackles.

Lowering himself down on the bed with a grunt, Dean scooted and shifted until he was comfortable beside Roman, sitting propped up on a pillow against the headboard and a flood of warm relief washed through Roman because maybe Dean was disappointed, maybe even miffed that he hadn't been honest with him, but at least it seemed as if Dean wasn't grossed out or too disappointed. Maybe they had made two steps back, but he could fix this.

He got a confirmation for his musing as Dean shifted once more until their shoulders touched, just like he found a silent we're good in the baby blues. A voice in the back of his mind warned that this was going too easy but maybe for once it simply was easy instead of evolving to a problem.

"You guys playing Call Of Duty?"

"Yeah," Roman replied, holding the gamepad out to him. "Wanna play a round?"

"Nah, I'm not good at that shit," Dean muttered, pursing his lips.

"Not good?" Roman parroted, his brows rising to his hairline as he looked at Seth while nodding his head in Dean's direction. "Not good he says. More like impertinently good. He stole my show the last time. Tells me he's never played it before and then he makes me look like a goddamn gaming dyslexic!"

Dean chuckled beside him and he loved it. Hearing any kind of amused or happy sound from him made warmth in his heart bloom.

"Come on, Ambrose," Seth grinned, leaning over to take the gamepad from Roman's hand, only to throw it in Dean's lap. "You and me against the bad guys?"

Silently Dean gazed down at the controller, then at Seth, over to Roman and back to the controller. Frowning Roman watched the scenario and somehow he couldn't get rid of the feeling that there was something hanging in the air between them. Not really unfriendly but rather unsettled if that made sense and while it had a sour taste from Dean's side, it wore a teasing note from Seth's.

"Nah, I'll just chill a little while you guys save the world," Dean half-groaned, half-sighed as he slipped a bit deeper into the pillow, crossing his arms over his chest loosely while stretching his legs out.

He was sounding tired, Roman noticed, and now that Dean was more lying than actually sitting beside him, he also looked tired. Not that it was really surprising, was it? After all Dean wasn't really back on his feet yet, so even if spending time at the car repair shop had been fun, it sure had been straining as well.

"Need something?" Roman asked hushed, searching his friend's face for a hint of unvoiced discomfort but there was none, only baby blues which were already on half-mast as Dean shook his head no.

Murmuring an okay Roman focused back on the game and Seth, who raised an amused brow. The game continued. Ten minutes? Maybe fifteen... until Roman felt Dean move beside him and a pressure against his arm and as he glanced at his friend, he found Dean lying half on his side with his face buried against Roman's arm and his neck angled awkwardly. A soft snore followed. Briefly pausing the game again, Roman carefully moved his arm out of the way. Dean didn't wake up but with a hum he inched closer, resting his head on the broad chest while curling up against Roman.

For a moment Roman forgot about the world around them because Dean looked almost angelic when he was asleep. Even younger than he was anyway. Smooth, relaxed features, those nice lips slightly parted... the blond hair tousled...

Carefully so as not to wake his friend, he placed his placed his arm around the leaner frame and in response Dean turned his face a bit more against his chest, mumbling something unintelligible. Warmth spread along his side where Dean was lying curled against him and there was a warmth growing in his chest, too. Putting the controller aside, he brought his other hand up to the blond mop and tenderly ran his fingers through it. He had to, needed to feel it. So soft...

And God how he wished he could simply wrap him up in his arms completely and just hold him close. Feel him. Kiss him. Forever.

"See? Everything's okay," Seth said hushed. "He's not angry with you and he sure isn't grossed out."

"Yeah... I don't know what I would have done if he, dunno, wouldn't have wanted to stay here."

He felt Seth put a hand on his leg just above his ankle, felt him brush his thumb back and forth gently.

"You have it so bad for him, it would have broken you."

Seth's statement was very quiet and achingly sober and it struck a chord in him that resonated in a way he didn't want to acknowledge. Not that he wasn't aware of it... that after such a short time already and without even knowing it, Dean had all his strings in hands and thus the power to make him fall by simply cutting those strings off. Admitting it would make his need for Dean even more present. Vital.

Don't let go. I need you.

His breath hitched as Dean moved once more and placed a hand on his belly, fingers twisting into his shirt in a loose hold. A tug. A mumble. A sigh.

And then an apologetic little snore.

"He's jealous."

Now Roman did look up, blinking slowly at Seth.

"What?" he mumbled.

"Jealous. Of me. Don't tell me you haven't noticed anything."

Jealous... maybe that was what he hadn't been able to put his fingers on...

"You think?"

"Yeah. Think about it, he just got a family and I guess he doesn't want to lose that? Especially you?"

His gaze swept down to the peacefully sleeping Dean and wiping a few stubborn strands away from his friend's forehead, he said quietly, more to Dean actually than to Seth: "Not gonna happen. Never."

"You gonna talk to him later, don't you?"

"Uhm, yeah, when we're alone. Huh, I guess it's gonna be awkward, even if he doesn't have a problem with me being gay. After all he had to watch his best friends almost kiss and I'm still not sure how to explain that."

"How about the truth?"

Exhaling a heavy breath, Roman shook his head no.

"Thought we're through with this already. Seth, I can't tell him that I lo..."

A low groan from the major direction of his chest caused the words to die in his throat. Dean writhed lightly in his suddenly uneasy sleep, slipped deeper until his head was resting on Roman's stomach while his fingers clenched in his shirt, tugging hard at it. Mumbled words, barely even audible. The angelic features suddenly tensed... a hiss passed the slightly parted lips and Roman's hold on his friend got firmer, the hand in the blond hair cradling the head against his belly while he whispered soothing words to calm him. A minute, two maybe... until it seemed to work and the uneasiness faded off of Dean's sleep again.

When Roman looked over to Seth again, he found him staring at Dean with in sadness furrowed brows and an expression that told him that he wasn't the only one who felt that certain ache to see Dean like this, vulnerable and so utterly not the rough and tough bad boy.

"It's still a long way to go..." Seth murmured.

"Yeah. But he's not alone."

"No, he's not. But really, Rome, tell him the truth..." Seth held his hands up as Roman wanted to once again block the telling him the truth thing, silencing him with it. "Will you listen, dude? There are different truths. Tell him what this between us is, was, whatever and leave the other truth out. For now." Raising his brows, Seth snorted: "Jesus, for someone who can make people shit their pants just by glaring at them, you have surprisingly much of a coward."

"Asshole," Roman grumbled at the insult, wanting to kick Seth a little for being so impertinent but doing that would most likely wake Dean, so he settled for a half-hearted scowl.

"But you love me," his friend grinned.

"Yeah, I love you, you little shit," Roman grumbled once more.

The grin fused to a fond smile then, making the brown eyes glow with that special warmth Roman saw so often there.

"See? It's not that hard to say I love you, is it?"

No. No, it was not. Most of the time it wasn't hard and difficult to just say those three little words but the few times when saying them could cause pain and sorrow, those words were harder to overcome than the highest mountain.

But Roman didn't say anything, just brushed his fingers through the blond locks once more before picking the gamepad up again...

X

- Dean -

His eyes jumped back and forth between Seth and the flat screen while his fingers were busy on the gamepad. Roman was downstairs after his mother had called him to help her with something and for the past ten minutes he was alone with Seth up here.

Alone with Seth... and with the aftertaste of what had happened today.

After coming back home and finding Seth sitting so close beside Roman again, it was twice as bitter because... it felt as if Seth was standing between Roman and him and yes, he knew that it wasn't like that, knew that Seth was his friend, too, still...

Back at the shop... Roman and Seth... if he hadn't come out to look were Roman was then...

They would have kissed. Seth would have kissed Roman.

Telling them to go home without him had been sour on his tongue but that very moment he couldn't have handled having them around, even if it had meant that maybe they would continue where he had interrupted them. His nostrils flared as he took a deep breath and pressing his lips to a thin line, he fixed his gaze on Seth for a moment, his stare becoming a glare briefly because he just couldn't wipe that feeling away, even if it was wrong. Little bastard, trying to get his hands on Roman.

And that was the bitterest thing about it, wasn't it? Here he had been thinking that the chance that Roman was into guys was less than nonexistent and then it hadn't been only one epiphany that had hit him today, no, it had been two.

Epiphany one, he wanted Roman. Epiphany two, he fucking wanted Roman and he had to discover that the very fucking moment he'd seen them both almost kiss.

And that had brought a third epiphany along that hadn't actually been an epiphany but wearing the label fucking shit as he understood in the same moment that maybe... he was too late...

The worst thing about it was that he couldn't just walk up to Roman and tell him because to be honest, he had no idea how to handle this right now. His own feelings. Did he want Roman as in... being on his way to fall in love? It would be a first. He'd never been in love with someone and that didn't make it any easier because how should he know that he was if he'd never felt something even close to it before? There was still a chance that he misjudged his own feelings of gratefulness for something entirely different.

But gratefulness didn't make you feel safe the way he felt safe with Roman and it didn't make you want to kiss someone the way he wanted Roman to kiss him. It sure didn't make you sport a goddamn wood.

And it didn't make your heart dance like his heart danced because of Roman...

Maybe he should simply do what Seth almost had done, grab Roman and kiss him. But he couldn't. What if Roman wouldn't want him that way? What if he... what if he wanted Seth?

Admittedly he'd been a little, well, surprised to see Roman and Seth like that. To realize that his friends were actually not as straight as he'd been thinking. Especially Roman and in the surprise and the fuck I want him had mingled a certain disappointment that Roman hadn't told him, a pretty silly reaction since there had been more important things all the time than Roman's actual sexual orientation. And fair's fair, he, too, hadn't said a word that he was gay. He should though. Really should. Owed Roman actually.

Couldn't. Not... not yet. Or maybe... uh, maybe yes?

No. First he should make sure what it was he was feeling...

Waking up curled against Roman after a handful of sleep had been nice. After being at the shop for a little more than an hour, following daddy Reigns around like a puppy and listening and asking and being told that he was welcome anytime and that Roman's dad wanted him to work on the Chevy, he'd reached a point where his whole body started to complain and he didn't dare to sit down anywhere, just because he would have fallen asleep in a blink. So getting comfy on the big man's bed where everything and anything smelled like him, where all was soft and with Roman sitting so close beside him, it hadn't been a wonder that he'd fallen asleep practically immediately. The snuggling up to Superman hadn't been his plan though. Simply happened.

Sit down, shift until you made yourself a nest, lean against a nicely warm and sexy guy, close your eyes for a second to savor the comfyness... and your body says, why, thank you and turns off the lights.

The waking up... he could get used to waking up like that. The first thing he'd noticed when he stepped into the twilight zone between being asleep and being awake was... Roman's scent. Most likely because he'd actually had his nose buried in the big man's shirt. The next thing had been that kind of warmth only a body could provide. A firm yet soft cushion he was engulfed in... that turned out to be Roman's side, his belly and his arm that had been wrapped around him. Eventually he'd arrived in the land of being fully awake again, but for a minute or two longer he pretended not to be awake and allowed himself just to lie there and let Roman's presence calm him because even if he already felt calm... Roman worked extra calming on him, pitching the I feel good sensation to the highest levels. And while still pretending not to be awake, he hooked a leg over Roman's experimentally. In answer Roman had tightened his hold on him, had started to brush his thumb back and forth tenderly.

Oh fuck, yes, and how he could get fucking used to this...

His eyes followed the Seth's virtual character on the screen that was sneaking right in front of his digital alter ego and with a sour little smile… he shot…

Game over.

"You shot me," Seth stated dumbfounded.

Well, duh.

Throwing the controller beside him on the mattress, Dean drawled: "I stumbled."

Barely said, the words caused Seth to snap his head around to Dean, staring at him definitely a tiny bit scandalized.

"You... The fuck you stumbled!" Seth half-snapped, half-snorted. "It's a fucking video game! You can't fucking stumble in a fucking video game!"

Frowning unimpressed and yes, he felt a certain satisfaction as he watched the reaction, he shrugged his shoulders as he leaned back against the headboard and crossed his arms over his chest. Something he regretted immediately as his sore shoulder graced him with a sting and a dull throbbing afterwards and so he let them slip a bit deeper. Folding his hands, he rested them on his belly while holding his friend's gaze.

"Well, I can..."

... not-stumble-stumble and accidentally shoot you on purpose.

Well, he would never lay a hand on Seth. Seth was his friend and although his occasionally pretty straightforward nature could be uncomfortable, he knew that he only meant good. Also trying to hit on Roman was legitimate since they both were free and Dean hadn't announced any kind of more than just friendship interest whatsoever in Roman. He couldn't blame Seth for trying to get a piece of Superman, just like he couldn't blame Roman for taking what was offered. Because Seth had offered. It had been his hand in the black mane that had pulled Roman closer.

Again a snort as Seth dropped his controller on the mattress, too. With a sigh he folded his left leg under himself while pulling his right knee up, resting his right forearm on it. He stared at Dean in slight amusement and Dean wondered what about this situation was so amusing.

Shooting that virtual character and thus ruining the game had been an admittedly pretty childish don't touch what's mine kind of shove and supposed to irk Seth. Instead the little two-toned nerd was smiling at him.

Littler fucker had to ruin his satisfaction here...

The lingering silence and Seth's staring that got inquiring and pondering made him feel uncomfortable although he would never have admitted it.

He was about to ask though if there was something sticking to his face as his friend tilted his head slightly to the side and said: "So… you're thinking that I'm trying to take Roman away from you."

Not a question but a statement and usually he would have come up now with some smartass reply, but fact was that he was tongue-tied since it had been a hit in the bull's eye again, this statement. Ready, aim, fire… dead on target.

"I'm not sure what to think," he muttered eventually as his tongue obeyed again.

"You can't stand the idea that Rome and I could be an item."

Again not a question.

Narrowing his eyes a little, Dean asked lowly: "Are you?"

Just say no.

Breathing a sigh, Seth began to pick at his nails, his lips curling in a crooked smile while his eyes took on a soft note and although Seth wasn't his type of guy, Dean had to admit that he was eye-candy and who could have blamed Roman to evince interest in him?

"I'm not gay," Seth said after a moment and Dean couldn't help but snort in blatant skepticism.

"Hard to believe that," he added, shooting the other man a raised eyebrow.

He watched his friend nod and purse his lips, the brown eyes roaming his face as Seth seemed to think about something.

"Interesting, you know? I mean your reaction. Why does it itch you so much that Roman and I could be together? It wouldn't change your relationship with him the least bit, him being your brother and you being a part of this family."

Bam. How could words actually be air-to-air missiles? Well, Seth's words could as it seemed and he kept delivering them unerringly. The kid was too smart for his own good, fucking couldn't stop putting his finger on sore spots. No matter what Dean would have answered now, it would have been the wrong thing to say, most certainly revealing things that shouldn't be revealed, and so he just kept staring at Seth with a raised brow.

Another sigh passed Seth's lips then as he scratched the back of his neck.

"Look, I could reel a speech now how and why all this happened but I'll keep it short. Yeah, I wanted to kiss Roman and Roman… the past days and weeks actually have distressed him more than he wants to admit. This slip was an outlet if you want. I don't have a crush on him and he doesn't have one on me. It's not gonna happen again. Okay?"

It could have made him happy to hear that there was nothing behind that almost kiss. Could have. If he could believe it. Seth was not gay? Maybe. But he sure wasn't straight. He didn't have a crush on Roman? Dean didn't buy that. Being a straight guy you don't go and kiss your male best friend. And to it all added that Roman suffered even more under the whole situation than Dean actually had realized, that he was trying to handle things silently. Probably so as not to put the weight on Dean's shoulders, too.

Idiot.

He willed his façade not to waver under the nasty feeling of so many not good things combined which coiled up in his guts at hearing that.

"Not my pigeon if you two have a thing going or not, you're old enough," Dean replied sharply, pressing the plain lie through his gritted teeth.

Scrubbing his hands through his face, Seth groaned: "Jesus, Dean, stop biting! I mean no harm, you idiot. I'm your friend and I care about you. See, I'm just trying to clear the situation here. I'm not trying to take Roman away from you, okay? Neither as your friend, nor as your brother or… whatever." Sighing for the umpteenth time, Seth held up his hands in defeat, grumbling a stubborn mule. "You still hurting much?" he asked then quietly, switching to a less touchy topic.

"It's getting better," Dean murmured, involuntary wrapping his good arm around his middle while dropping his eyes to the gamepads.

His mind was still clinging to the information that Roman wasn't coping as good with it as all it seemed, that it troubled him more than he already showed. Was that making him this Superman's Kryptonite? A thought that was giving him an odd mixture of good and bad feelings here.

"Dean?"

"Huh?" he breathed, glancing up to the other man.

"Do you want me to go?"

The question made him really look at Seth and he was met by a serious expression that said I'll go if you want me to and open brown eyes which whispered I'm your friend goddammit. Dean felt a tiny pang of guilt for being so snarky because after all he didn't bear Seth a real grudge since he hadn't done something wrong, had he? Not really. Shaking his head no, he tried himself on a smile.

"Nah, 's okay. I'm just…"

Trailing off, he shrugged his shoulders.

"… being an asshole sometimes?" Seth suggested helpfully, earning a glare.

"Little shit," Dean grumbled.

Quietness for a second or two. Once more the expression on Seth's face changed, becoming thoughtfully.

Then: "Dean?"

"What?" he asked warily, already having an idea that they were back at the touchy topic.

"Talk to him."

He didn't get a chance to reply as Roman's mom came walking in, telling them to come down because she had made sandwiches. But maybe everything had been said anyway… For now.

- tbc –


A/N: Okay, no need to hit me for allowing Seth and Roman some more Rolleigns time here, Dean did that for you already ;))) What do you think, will Seth's pushing Dean and Roman help?

Got some candy for me? Do we pass the 300 reviews? Prett please? *big puppy eyes*