Chapter eleven
It's impossible for me to get back to sleep after that thought popped into my head. What the hell was I thinking? Obviously I was thinking "yay, I'm getting laid" and not "Oi, woman, birth-control".
What an idiot. I give up at four thirty and crawl out of bed, grabbing my dressing gown as I leave the bedroom and go to the kitchen to make a coffee.
I grab my diary out while I wait for the kettle and check when my last period was. I count back the days and try to work out if I'm at risk at the moment or not. I can't be sure but I think I'm okay. I might have to make a trip to the chemist though to find out about a morning-after pill. Do I need a script for that? Oh God. How careless and stupid of me!
Whilst I'm beating myself up over the whole "unprotected sex" argument I pour my coffee and pull out my laptop. I decide to do a bit of research on the whole morning after pill whilst I have the privacy and time to do so.
I discover that there is a version that is available over the counter at the pharmacy. Well thank goodness for that. I don't have a regular pharmacy that I go to either so that will be good. I think to myself "never, ever, let that happen again" and sip my coffee whilst I log onto twitter.
I'm tweeting to the few English people that I sometimes converse with on Twitter when I suddenly realise that I was taking the blame for not thinking of birth control, when rightfully, it should have been both of us. I guess we should look at something more permanent since Andy is living with me now.
Due to a reaction I have to some of the ingredients in the pill, I can't take that method. Maybe I should make a doctors appointment tomorrow and see what else there is. I have no idea whether Andy wants kids or not but at this incredibly early stage of our relationship, I highly doubt it!
I muck around on twitter a little while longer until I see the sun breach the horizon and stream in through the lounge room window. I close my laptop and stand and take my cup to the sink. I have work today and I really should get organised early.
I head to the laundry and put a load of washing on before looking in on the kids. It's nearly quarter to seven and they should be stirring by now. Sure enough Max is awake and reading and Lilly is just coming around. I tell them both that I'm about to start breakfast and they crawl out of bed and follow me to the kitchen.
I make them both porridge and make their lunches for school too.
I even put a slice of cake on a plate for Andy and leave it on the bench covered in cling wrap. After I have finished pottering around I write a note to leave with the cake for him.
Hey honey,
Just thought you might like some cake with your coffee since you missed out on some yesterday. I'm working in the shop today to catch up on things but I hope you have a lovely day and I'll be thinking of you.
Love you
Elle x
I fold the paper in half and leave it tucked under the plate.
I glance at the clock before sending the kids off to get dressed for school as I pack their school bags for them.
When I've finished I quickly go and get changed into some old jeans and a t-shirt for the trip to the bus stop.
I wait with the twins and as the bus pulls in I follow them onboard and talk quickly to Denise, explaining that both Andy and I had spoken to Max about his behaviour. She is satisfied by this and I step off again, waving as the bus pulls away from the curb.
I glance at my watch and see I'm running a bit behind time. I break into a job and make my way back home. When I enter the house I drop my keys on the bench before heading for a quick shower to rinse off from last night's debauchery. When I step out again I quietly get dressed before bending and kissing Andy's forehead, careful not to disturb him.
I go back out to the kitchen grab my things and then lock the front door behind me as I head out to the car.
I pull out of the driveway and make the ten minute drive to work, singing along with Jessie J on the radio as I go.
When I get to the store I park the car on the street and grab my bag and phone before heading inside. I wave hello to Sandra as I head for the office and dump my bag on the ground. I grab the yellow pages off the desk and search for a doctor's surgery. I haven't actually seen a doctor since I've been here and think to myself 'how is this possible?'
Then I remember that the 'accidental' sprains, bruises and sometimes breaks no longer occur.
Sandra sticks her head in the door and I look up at her smiling. Sex sure does put me in a great mood, especially when it's that good.
"Morning Sandra, how are you?" I ask her.
"I'm good Elle. Surprised to see you here though" she says.
"Well, since I didn't come in on Friday, or Monday for that matter I thought it best if I make up my time by starting on the BAS statements."
"Oh okay. What are you looking for there?" she asks me.
"A doctor actually, I haven't been to one yet since I moved and I need to get in to see one. Do you recommend anyone?" I ask her.
"There's a guy just down the street called Dr Simpkins or there is a lady over in Lake Haven as well" she tells me.
I grab the phone book and hand it to her. "Can you show me the one from down the street?" I ask.
"Yeah sure, hang on" she says as she takes the book and flicks through the pages.
She passes it back to me, pointing to an advert. "Budgewoi Medical Centre" she says.
"Alright, thanks Sandra" I tell her.
"No problems. You don't have to work all day either, how about only till one and then you can get going?" she says.
"Thanks Sandra, that'd be great" I tell her.
"How's Andy doing?"
"He's on the mend, thanks" I say as she leaves at the sound of the bell that hangs over the door signalling that someone entered the shop.
I grab my phone out of my bag and dial the number. Five minutes later and I have an appointment for one thirty. As I'm putting my phone away I remember I was supposed to ring Jim and Carole about seeing the kids. Ah, that can wait until after work I decide.
It vibrates in my hand suddenly, signalling a new message and causing me to drop it at the same time.
I grab it off the floor and check the message from Bradie.
Hey, how are you? Are you home today?
I quickly send one back to let him know I'm working but finish at one o'clock.
I might see you this afternoon then
I put my phone away in my bag and think to myself how I feel slightly disappointed that it was Bradie and not Andy that was asking what I was doing.
What was happening to our relationship? Maybe it was a bad idea asking him to move it with us. It seems to have made us more distant rather than pull us closer together. I don't think it's all Vicki's doing either. I really think there is something else going on there, but I just can't work out what it is.
I dismiss the thought from my mind and open my laptop and concentrate on my work for the time being.
Just before eleven Sandra asks if I want a coffee and I nod my head enthusiastically. I was hanging for a bit of caffeine and she couldn't have asked at a better time.
"Do you want to go and grab a couple of cups? I'll man the fort while you get some air" she says to me and I nod and stand, stretching as I do.
I find my purse in my bag and head out of the store and across the road to the deli. When I walk in Alice is serving a young man so I wait in line behind him. When she's finished with him I approach the counter.
"Hey, long time no see" she says with a cheeky grin on her face.
"Yeah, okay. I know I should have called you but yeah, I have no excuse. Spit in my coffee if you want to" I tell her.
She breaks into a laugh and says "Coffee for you and Sandra?" I nod in reply and let her set about brewing the caffeine saviours.
When she puts the cups on the counter I open my wallet and hand her a $ 10 note. She gives me the change and we discuss the upcoming weekend.
She's going away to visit some friends down near Canberra and asks me if I want to come with her.
"Ah, I'll let you know" I tell her, unsure of what Andy's weekend plans are. Maybe it might do me some good to get away from him, maybe sort out what's going on in my head.
I grab the coffees and head back to work, preoccupied with thoughts of a girl's weekend away with Alice. But what about the twins? I can't leave them at home with Andy, not with Vicki lurking around. She's liable to offload them at a park or playground and convince Andy that they should be looking after themselves by now.
I hand Sandra her cup as I go back into the office and work for the next hour until Sandra says she's going for lunch. I close down the accounts program and start to pack up before going to the front of the store to cover for her. I grab the duster and begin going over the shelves with it to pass the time.
I'm deep in thought when I hear the little bell sound. I look up and see Bradie wandering in followed closely by Andy. I smile when I notice there is no Vicki in tow.
"Hey guys" I say, putting the duster behind the counter. "What brings you here?"
"Well I found him wandering around your backyard, bored out of his mind so I thought we might come see you" Bradie says, pointing to Andy.
Andy steps forward and gives me a light kiss on the mouth. "Hey gorgeous" he says to me. "Do you want to grab some lunch together when you're done?"
"Yeah, sure, that'd be nice actually" I say, smiling broadly at him.
"We're just going to go across and say hi to Alice while we wait okay. You finish at one Bradie tells me" he says and I nod.
"Okay, I'll be back before one" he says and kisses me again before they both leave the store, Bradie shooting me a grin and a wave on his way out.
I grab the duster out again and mull away the time until Sandra returns. When she's finished eating I go out the back again and get my stuff organised. I suddenly remember that my doctor's appointment is for one thirty and I doubt we'll have time for lunch.
I pack up my bag and laptop and head out the front again to wait for Andy. He wanders in just before one and after a quick chat with Sandra, we depart the store.
"I have a doctor's appointment at one thirty so I don't know if we'll be able to get any lunch or not" I tell him.
"Well, how about we just go across the road to the deli and see Bradie and Alice instead? We can grab something to eat there."
"Yeah okay, that sounds good" I tell him.
We cross the road and sit at a table out the front. I tell him what I want to eat and he goes inside to place our order. When he comes out Bradie and Alice are trailing him.
We all sit together and chat whilst waiting on the food. I keep glancing at my watch and I can't help but wonder if I should be asking Andy if he wants to come to the doctor's with me. How do I approach such a subject as "Well Andy, I was wondering if you want kids in the near future with me."
Ah yeah, conversation killer that one!
When the sandwiches arrive I tuck into mine pretty quickly.
"Geez Hon, you're hungry today" Andy says with a grin.
"Yeah, I got up too early and I had breakfast at some ridiculous hour. I'm starving" I tell him.
"So I was telling Elle about this weekend how I planned on going down to Nowra for a girls getaway. What do you think of that idea Andy?" she said, knowing that I hadn't had a chance to say anything to him about it. Maybe this was part of the plan, to get me to go away with her.
"Really? Do you want to go?" he asks me.
"Um, I don't know. I'd have to organise a sitter first and then maybe I would go. I'm not sure yet."
"A sitter? What about me? Aren't I good enough to look after them?" he says with a smirk.
"Well, I honestly thought you'd have something planned with Vicki so I didn't want to intrude on that."
"I have nothing planned actually. I think it would be good for you to go hang with the girls. Bradie and I can look after the twins. And Mum and Dad are right next door if we need them too" he says.
"Ah, well, I'll think about it okay Alice? I'll let you know by tomorrow, I promise" I say before glancing at my watch. "I have my appointment in five minutes, I'd better go."
"I'm coming with you" Andy says, standing with me and rolling up his trash.
"Oh, okay then, we'd better get moving. See you two later" I say to Bradie and Alice as Andy and I cross the street again and walk down to the doctor's surgery.
I push open the glass door as we walk in and greet the receptionist. I tell her my name and she hands me a clipboard with a questionnaire sheet on it. I sit down next to Andy and start to fill everything out. When I'm finished I dig out my Medicare card and take it back to the counter with the form.
I hand it over and take a seat next to Andy again to wait. When the Doctor calls my name I stand and to my surprise, so does Andy. He has absolutely no idea what I'm seeing the doctor about and I'm not sure this is such a good idea.
"Are you sure you want to come in with me?" I ask him.
"Do you not want me to? Does it make you uncomfortable?" he asks me.
"Um, I'm not sure. You don't even know what I'm seeing him for" I say.
"Oh, well, I can wait here if you want me to?"
I weigh it up in my mind and decide that it's probably best that we get all this out in the open now.
"Come on" I say as he follows me down the hall, trailing after the doctor.
We step into his room and he introduces himself to me. He greets Andy by name and I shoot him a look.
"What? Dr Simpkins has been my doctor since I was a kid" he says.
Oh Lord, this just got a bit more complex. How do I ask my live-in boyfriend if he's even contemplating having kids in front of a man who's know him since before he got pubes.
This was just not my day.
"So Elle, what can we do for you today?" he says.
I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Well, firstly, I wanted to ask you about the morning after pill and whether it is safe to take and what side effects it has."
I actually hear Andy suck a breath in as I glance towards him; he raises his eyebrows in a questioning look.
"What? We didn't use protection last night and I think it might not have been an ideal time to be playing Russian roulette okay."
"Why didn't you say something to me about this?"
"Well, because you were asleep when I left this morning and then I wasn't exactly going to discuss it over lunch with Alice and your brother sitting right there."
"So you two are boyfriend and girlfriend then?" Dr Simpkins says.
"We've moved in together actually" Andy says, his trademark grin returning, showing just how proud he is that we live together.
"Well, congratulations Andy" Dr Simpkins says. Just then his intercom buzzes and he's called to the front desk.
"I'll be back in a minute" he says, standing and leaving the room.
"So is this why you were seeing the doctor then?" Andy asks me.
"One of the reasons, yeah. I'm also going to ask him about a more permanent contraception since we are living together now."
"What did you have in mind?" he asks me and I tell him of the options I had researched. Most of them were highly effective and lasted for ages, which was a good idea, well so I thought.
"So what if we want to have kids down the track though, will you be able to fall pregnant?" he says.
I swear my jaw hits the table that I'm leaning on. I'm not too sure what to say to this as the doctor choses this moment to come back in.
"So Elle, you were asking about the morning-after pill" he says as he goes on to explain how it works and the various side effects that come with it.
When he's finished he asks me if there is anything else and I decide not to discuss the contraceptive issues just yet, not until Andy and I sit down and discuss this whole issue of having kids.
"Thank you for that" I say as I stand and he hands me the piece of paper with the name of the tablets I need to get written on it.
We file out to the reception area and after I pay for the visit we go next door to the pharmacy to get the tablets.
Armed with a little paper bag and an information leaflet we make our way back to the car in relative silence.
The drive home is quiet, with neither of us willing to spark up a conversation. When I pull into the driveway, we climb out of the car and go inside and stop in the kitchen.
"So, you didn't ask about contraception?" Andy starts.
"Well, I think we should probably talk about the whole reproduction issue. Do you want kids?" I ask him.
"Well, I always saw myself as one day having a couple. You've got to know that I absolutely adore your children but I really hope to have one or maybe two of my own someday. And right now, I see myself having them with you."
"Really?" I say as I feel myself smiling like an idiot. It's so nice to be wanted in such a permanent and positive way.
"Really. I'm being completely serious with you" he says as he grabs me and pulls me closer. "I think we'll make gorgeous babies together" he grins as he kisses me softly.
Well that's definitely food for thought considering I thought I had done all the child-bearing I was meant to do.
