DISCLAIMER: All twilight-ish stuff belongs to stephenie meyer, blahhh blahhh blah.


He'd said yes.

It didn't really matter to me that I had won, that I'd gotten what I'd wished for. To be honest, I wasn't even sure if this was what I wanted. Raidyn was comforting; the way I felt around him, it was the same feeling I got on a cold day, sitting in front of a fire with a blanket wrapped around me, except amplified. On the other hand, just being around the Cullens made me nervous; they literally sent a chill down my spine, and not in a good way. But it wasn't like I had much of an option. Unless I wanted to encourage Raidyn to think I was even more screwed up than he already knew I was - which could lead to him kicking me out - I'd have to spend my nights away from him. It was for his own good, really, so he'd never have to see me wake up from my nightmares with a cold sheen of sweat covering my body, or listen to me crying in my sleep and wonder whether he should let me suffer through the sleep that so rarely came to me, or wake me so that I would stop hurting. Then again, I was always in pain, asleep or awake. After what he was doing for me, there was no way I could let him see me like that.

I had expected him to put up a struggle, go down kicking and fighting, but he'd let me go almost too easily. These were his enemies, the kind that made your hair stand on end, he should have been furious, or at least a little bit mad. Instead, he'd just stared at me for a minute, shock displayed like an advertisement on his face. After three flat out 'no's, he'd given in and said okay. Okay, I could stay with his worst enemies, and okay, I could stab him in the back; pulling the knife out couldn't hurt so bad. Of course, he hadn't said those exact words, but I could see it in his pleading eyes as he acquiesced, and again when he dropped me off. "Okay," he'd said, "call me as soon as you get settled in. And be careful, alright?" I'd nodded, gently pulling my hand away as he tried to give it a supportive squeeze. Even if he was sweet and bending over backwards to accommodate me, I still couldn't give him anything of myself. Not yet, anyways. Hurting him was the last thing I wanted to do, but no matter how kind he was, there were things he didn't know about me, things that I was trying hard to forget, or better, erase.

But it wasn't that easy. They haunt me even now, as I sit against the window seat in my new bedroom, staring at the droplets of water that furiously pelted the ground. Why did rain represent sadness? To me, especially at the moment, it looked more like pure anger. The sky wasn't just falling; it was hurling itself toward the earth in some sort of mad plot for revenge. To me, it didn't look like the world was crying; it looked like the earth was at war with the sky. With a sigh, I picked at a button on the cushion I was sitting on. This arrangement hadn't been going well so far. Or it had, depending on the way you looked at it. Last night, I'd awoken from a nightmare to find Alex in my, or actually, his room, watching me. It would have been creepy, except for the dream had been a thousand times worse and they sort of cancelled each other out so that seeing him was, in fact, a relief, even with his familiarly mysterious eyes.

He'd asked if I was okay. At that moment, I'd wondered what in God's name was going through his mind. Had I looked okay, with tears obviously streaming down my face and shaking like I was in the worst snowstorm of the year? No, but he'd asked anyways. Now that I was thinking about it, he could have been trying to get something out of me for Raidyn, but I pushed the idea away quickly. Alex wasn't that kind of guy... he seemed more solitary, and anyways, they didn't get along too well. But he couldn't have just been there because he'd wanted to comfort me. People didn't do that for me, because usually I didn't deserve it. And if I were to be honest, then I'd agree with them.

So why had I said no? I could have just written it off as an average nightmare, something that happened every once and a while to everyone. To make myself feel better, I told myself it was because he would eventually hear me anyways. And sobbing every night, waking up with screams? It was going raise a bit of suspicion. At least Alex wasn't likely to go tell Raidyn about my little episodes... if he did, I didn't know what I'd do. But even with all I was doing to explain it away, there was something off. He'd been the first person to actually try to help me, despite my wishes. There would be no wallowing around him; then again, I didn't have much self-pity in the first place.

Suddenly, the door opened, and I turned around quickly to see who it was. I'd been expecting Alex to be the one standing in the doorway, but to my surprise, it was Carlisle. "Hey, Doc." I muttered, swiveling my head to look back out at the rain. It had quieted down a bit, but was still steadily hitting the ground. Apparently, it did this a lot here. I liked water, so this wasn't a big deal for me, but to most it probably got annoying. "Beautiful day, isn't it?" Sarcasm made my voice cold as I spoke, "I hear this doesn't ever stop."

He chuckled softly, "No, not really. You get used to it, though." You can get used to anything, if it goes on for long enough. Whether it's the absence or presence of something, after a while, it becomes background music rather than your favorite song. "Are you alright?" It was strange how often you got asked that question when it was obvious that you weren't. When people know something's wrong, but aren't comfortable with actually trying to comfort someone, they ask in hopes that the person will say 'yeah, I'm fine' so that their own lives won't be complicated, yet they feel like they've at least tried. But that's just my opinion.

I'd give him what he wanted, "I'm fine," I said quietly. It was slightly funny to me, that he was eighth or so person to ask me this today. The smile was wiped off my face, though, as I realized Alex was the only one I'd told the truth. "Um, do you need something?" I looked back toward him. Pushy or rude was the last thing I wanted to be, but someone as busy as Carlisle wouldn't just come in here to talk about the weather.

He nodded, his eyes warm and encouraging, "Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something." I let my eyes shift to the window for a moment before returning to his face. Part of me wanted to tell him I wasn't in the mood to talk now, but the more polite, and right, side told me to hold my tongue and listen up. I was, after all, a guest. "I'm sure Raidyn will want to talk to you about this as well, but I just thought I'd give you the facts before hand," I closed my eyes for a moment and prayed that this wouldn't be about those tests he wanted to run on my heart. It wasn't something I was looking forward to. "It's about school." My eyes flew open. School? I hadn't been to school a day in my life, and in all honesty, I hadn't been planning on starting.

According to my mother, I was ahead of your average tenth grader, even though I should only be in ninth grade. I'd read the full chemistry textbook, and though I hadn't exactly been able to carry out the experiments, I got the gist of it. I'd gotten half way through algebra two before... I knew most of it, anyways. I'd read almost every Shakespeare book (I could never get through the history ones), some Jane Austen, Mark Twain, a few good poetry books, and many, many others thanks to... well, when you didn't actually have anything to do during the day, and you could hardly sleep at night, you had enough free time on your hands to read pretty much anything. As for Geography, with my parents being such travel nuts, I'd been staring at the world atlas since I was about seven. I could name all the capitals of the US in less than a minute. I was already almost finished with US history, and my world history textbook had been the most interesting thing I'd had to read until Johnny came along.. The slip-up had me gasping for air, but I shook it off quickly and stared at Carlisle, focusing on the words coming out of my mouth, "I don't really think that will be necessary," I murmured, feeling my heart tear just a little bit more.

He studied me for a moment before speaking. "Now, I'm not sure where you're from, but education around here is very important. It's definitely necessary." I sighed, knowing that nothing was going to get me out of this one. I nodded, acquiescing, "Raidyn told me that you were around fifteen, so you'd be in ninth grade. Is that alright?" I wondered whether I should tell him that I was smarter than that, or play stupid so that the whole school thing might be a little bit easier. "...You have been to school, right? You know how to read and write, multiply, all that?" Smiling, I nodded. Pretending to be dumber than I was wouldn't be so hard. "So, ninth grade it is?" After deliberating for a moment, I nodded again, one of my rare, small grins plastered to my face. Why not? He smiled half-heartedly, as if he didn't get the joke, and continued, "Okay, so now that that's settled, we can talk about which school you'll be going to."

Which school? I repeated mentally, trying to figure his statement out. This was an extremely small town. Now, I'd never been familiar with what went on in cities, but it didn't seem logical to have two schools somewhere where there were hardly enough kids to fill the first. "There's more than one?" I shot him a quizzical look, and then jumped as Alice appeared in the doorway out of what seemed like nowhere. She smiled and waved; walking in a pained, deliberate fashion out of sight. This was such a weird family... and that was saying something, coming from me.

"Yes, one on the reservation, and one here in Forks," I didn't reply. Raidyn was obviously part of the reservation, meaning he went to school on the reservation... but here in Forks was probably where Carlisle's kids went to school, seeing as they lived here. "Academics-wise, Forks is probably better. The school on the reservation is more focused on the legends of the tribe. It's not a bad school, but most kids there aren't planning to leave. Raidyn will be going there, and everyone here will be going to Forks High, so you'll know people whichever place you choose." this confirmed my assumption... but did he really think it mattered if I knew someone? Alone was my thing... friends seemed to evade me. "Now, let me warn you. Raidyn wants you to go to the reservation school. Of course, he's going to say that he wants what's best for you, but he really would like you there with him. If you could consider that when you're deciding..." He left his sentenced unfinished, assuming that I would know what he meant. This guy liked to assume.

He stopped talking for a moment, staring at his hands. So based on what he'd told me so far, it seemed as if he wanted me to pick the reservation. Why were these people trying to shove Raidyn and me together? Sure, he'd found me and all, and was being really nice and helpful, but I couldn't imagine he'd want to be stuck with the weird new kid. If I were him, I'd probably be pissed if I knew Carlisle was encouraging me to join him in his school. He'd grown up there, gone there his entire life... everyone there had. He probably had a ton of friends, his own little niche, and definitely had a girlfriend (though maybe not for long). Who was I to encroach on his personal space, his life? "You're saying I should go to the reservation school." I stated, studying him curiously. It wasn't a question; we both knew that he was.

"Not necessarily," he said quickly, jerking his head to look me in the eye. "I just want you to know that even if he says he doesn't care, he does." The rain pounded harder and harder on the roof and window, blowing sideways now, as if it was desperately trying to get somewhere. Unfortunately, gravity wasn't on its side, and each raindrop became part of the many puddles scattered across the ground, without a choice in the matter at all. Kind of like me.

"But why?" He shouldn't care; it didn't make any sense. We didn't even know each other, and for some reason everything he did was in some way related to me, helping me, looking out for me. I hadn't asked for him to come into my life and try and fix everything. To be perfectly honest, my life was probably too broken to be fixed at all, anyways. Why was he trying?

"I..." He trailed off, and I didn't know whether it was because he was trying to think up a lie or trying to find a way to put the truth. Maybe a little bit of both. After a moment of torturous silence, he simply said, "He's a good guy." Yeah, whatever. That obviously didn't even begin to cover it, but I decided not to press; after all, I was the guest.

"Okay." I said quietly, my eyes downcast. He sat there awkwardly. What was he expecting from me now? "Um, I don't have to pick right this second, do I?" He shook his head quickly, standing up as if to leave. Finally, I thought. I had always liked being alone more than being with other people, and now was no exception. "Well, I guess I'll-" my farewell was cut off by yet another voice.

"Hey Tai!" It said, much too cheerily for my liking, as Alice into the room and handing me a fancy-looking cell phone. "I got you this. They're the best out there. Thought you might need it, just in case." I frowned. Them opening their home to me was bad enough, but giving me expensive gifts? I couldn't accept things like this. Before I could open my mouth to protest, though, Alice was talking again, "Don't bother, I'm not going to take it back. Plus, Raidyn's about to... I mean, he could call you at any second." The phone rang, illustrating her words, "Well, look at that! Come on, Carlisle, I've got something to show you." They both got up abruptly and walked away, shutting the door behind them and leaving me with the wailing piece of metal. I'd had a phone before; I knew what to do...

"Hello?" I muttered after clicking the 'talk' button on the touch screen of the phone. It really was high-tech.

"Tai?" The voice on the other end came through as clear as a bell, "Hey, it's Raidyn." It sounded like he was standing next to me, and I could practically see the unenthusiastic look on his face. Something was wrong.

"Are you alright?" It was silent for a moment. Either he was thinking, or nodding and forgetting that I couldn't actually see him. I wouldn't be surprised… the little phone did make it sound as if I could.

"Sure, sure. I'm fine. Just.. you know," He said, and I knew immediately. The girlfriend; something had happened with her. He confirmed my suspicion. "Girl troubles. It's no big deal, though. How about you?" I opened my mouth to reply, but he interrupted before I could, "We've got to talk. You want to come back up to La Push for the day?" Once again, he didn't wait for me to answer, "Or I could go up there, if you want. Whatever's good with me." He sounded nervous… was it about the school thing? This must have been a bigger deal than I had thought.

"Um, I guess I can come down there." Right then, I decided. "Carlisle talked to me about schools today." Who cared about academics? I'd never had any plans for my life, anyways. If I had to, I'd shoplift to survive, work at some fast food joint, whatever. Material things had never been important to me. Raidyn seemed to really want me to put on a backpack and trail along after him to school. I could practically see his clammy hand gripping the phone, and if it meant so much to him and not so much to me, what did it matter? "Would you mind if I went to La Push High? With you?"

The smile on his face was apparent in his voice, "What? Really? I mean, you don't have to," he said quickly, "You should think about it more, you should. Unless you're sure… but this is a big decision, it's like, huge. You should think about it." I could feel the too-familiar grin slide across my face as he stumbled over his words.

"No, I'm positive. I want to go with you." And at that moment, I was thinking that school might not be so bad. It was the first time in a long time that I'd let myself get my hopes up, and however shattered they might become, hearing Raidyn's laugh made it worth it.


hey there! i know it's been forever, but this is a decent chapter to make up for it, right? i'm really sorry, again. you know how it is, with school and everything. it eats you alive.

anyways, finally bringing in the school! this should be fun. (: you guys are gonna love it, i bet. or hope. but whatever, kay? just read, review, and all that fun stuff! if you do, i'll be the happiest person in the whole world. thankss. 3

--megg,