Show Me Heaven: Chapter Eleven


ARIZONA'S POV


I swear to God I'm tired of people fucking with my life. Dani knew exactly what was going on between us. It was never a secret. I don't know why she suddenly feels different but I don't like what she did tonight. I don't like how she showed up to Eliza's place and ran her mouth. It isn't fair to Eliza. She knows exactly who I used to be as a person and she knows that I'd never do anything to hurt her. I didn't cheat when I was at my worst so I'm sure as hell not going to cheat now. I mean, is it really that hard to understand? Is it really that hard for Dani to remember the first night we spent together after I left Eliza and I told her that it was a casual thing. If I'm not mistaken, she had already told me that before I relayed it to her later that evening. I don't know what her game is, but I'm done fucking about with her. If she can't be happy for me and she can't allow me to get on with my relationship, I want her out of my life. I want her out of it for good. I don't need people trying to bring me down like this but once again, someone is always testing my fucking patience. God, I'm so mad right now.

My feet pounding the sidewalk as I near the bar, I slow it down a little and give myself a moment to breathe. I don't need to go in there all guns blazing. Honestly, I think that's what she wants…or what she's expecting, at least. She can hate me all she likes, but she won't drag my girlfriend into this. Eliza isn't a part of this. It's about me and it's about Dani. Nobody else. No exes or current relationships. Just us. I mean, I shouldn't even be doing this. I should be at Eliza's place and spending the evening with her. I've missed her so much today and yeah, I should totally be with her. Not here fucking explaining myself for the millionth time.

Pushing the door to the bar open, I glance around and find Dani talking with one of the girls we usually hang out with. She's nice, but she's a little too 'in your face' for me. I don't need someone throwing themselves at me. Not anymore, anyway. Catching her attention, she looks me up and down and returns to her conversation with Jade. I honestly don't know what her problem is, but it stops now. It really does. Crossing the bar, I stop dead in front of her, my back now to Jade. "In the back, NOW!"

"Change the fucking attitude and I'll think about it!" She smirks.

"Stop fucking around, Dani." I give her a knowing look. "Get in the back!"

"You realize I have a business to run, right?" She steps a little closer to me. "We can't all lie around with a different woman every week."

"Yeah, I'm not doing this with you anymore." I shake my head. "I just want five minutes with you and then I'm gone. For good."

"Oh, really?" She furrows her brow. "Figured you were here for a fuck." Dragging Dani through her bar, I force her outback and she stumbles a little. "What the hell is your problem?"

"You." I slam the door shut. "Why did you go to Eliza's place earlier?"

"She should know what kind of person you are, Zo."

"She knows what kind of person I am." I give her a look of confusion. "My past is my past and I'd appreciate it if you kept it that way."

"Thought she knew all about it, huh?"

"She does…but she doesn't need every last fucking detail about it." I drop down onto one of the beer kegs. "Look, I don't know what is going on with you but why are you trying to ruin this for me, Dan?"

"I don't need to try…" She shrugs. "Eliza will realize who you are soon enough."

"I thought you were my friend." I glance up at her. "I thought we had each other's backs."

"We did." She nods. "And then you chose her…over me."

"We weren't anything." I stand and hold up my hands. "You knew that. It was always the agreement."

"Things change, though." She gives me a sad smile. "For everyone other than you, at least."

"What are you saying?" I furrow my brow.

"What do you think I'm saying?" I hate this back and forth but she never fucking makes it easy. Never.

"That you're into me…" I sigh. "If you'd said, I'd have backed off."

"And miss out on the opportunity to have you to myself?" She raises her eyebrow. "You are joking, right?"

"So, you were willing to put yourself through that even though you knew we would never be anything?"

"I guess I figured if I could keep you around here long enough, you would eventually see that we were good together."

"I'm sorry you feel that way, Dan." I take her hands in my own. "But this was never going to be anything. It was fun. Something we both needed at one time. You knew that and I can't be what you want me to be just because you wanted more…"

"I know." She squeezes my hands. "I'm sorry."

"Me too." I breathe out. "Do you want me to avoid this place? Do we have to stop everything?"

"I don't know what you want from me, Zo?" She drops her gaze. "I mean, we aren't seeing this the same way."

"No, we're not." I agree. "You know I love Eliza. That's never been a secret."

"The more time that passed…I just got carried away, okay?"

"I wish you'd talked this out with me." I step away from her. "I wish you could've been honest with me, Dan. I didn't ever want to lose you as a friend. I knew this was a bad idea…"

"It's my own fault." She shrugs. "I knew I'd get attached but I went ahead with it anyway."

"I should go." I sigh. "I'm sorry…"

"It was great having you around, Zo." Glancing back over my shoulder, Dani gives me a small smile and I return one of my own. "Just…give me some time, okay?"

"Time for what?" I ask as I place my hand on the door.

"Time to go back to how we were." She sighs. "Back to just being friends."

"I'm not sure we can be friends, Dani," I admit. "I want that more than anything, but I can't allow you to interfere with my relationship. Right now, that's how I feel it's going to go."

"I'll try, okay?" She gives me a knowing look. "I'll try to just be your friend."

"Sure, yeah." Heading out into the bar, I feel a little different to how I did earlier. I need to lie down. I need a minute to myself to realize what has just happened. Sure, I knew Dani was perfectly okay with the sleeping around part but to know that she's into me like that…no, I didn't think that was ever going to happen. Nobody ever wanted more with me so why now does everything have to be different? Why are people suddenly craving a relationship with me? None of it makes sense. Fuck!


I'm sitting in my car outside Eliza's place. Why? I don't know. It's three in the morning and I'm sitting in my freaking car. I haven't tossed and turned for a long time during the night but tonight…that happened. Usually, I can control my thoughts. Usually, I can stop them from keeping me awake but tonight I just couldn't. Tonight I lay there thinking about Eliza and now I'm sitting outside her home…in my car. I guess it could be worse. I could be sitting on the sidewalk or her porch waiting for an acceptable time to knock on her door, but no…I'm in my car like an asshole. I mean, I'm fully expecting someone to come out of their home and question why I'm here. I'd like to believe I have an answer should that happen, but I genuinely don't. It's as simple as that. I miss her.

I called her after I left the bar earlier and told her I was headed back to Jess' to talk to her. She seemed fine about it but I've only received one message from her since and that was simply to say goodnight. I shouldn't be receiving a text from her. She should be saying it to me. She should be saying it whilst my arms are wrapped around her and we are snuggling in bed. That should be happening, but it's not. I seriously need to decide what I'm doing here. I mean, I want to spend more time with her but I feel like I'm going back on my word. I told her I wanted to take it slow but now I feel like I don't want that anymore. I don't want to leave here each night and go back to Jess' place. She's been great and I told her that when I was there earlier, but I should be here. I should be sleeping soundly with Eliza by my side.

Glancing at the front of her home, my heart sinks into my stomach when the porch light flickers on and the door opens. Shit! Fuck! How the hell do I explain that I'm just sitting here minding my own business? How do I even come up with an excuse? Maybe I should just be honest with her? I'm sure she would appreciate that more than anything else. Sighing, I climb from my car and quietly close the door. Approaching her, I toy with my keys and clear my throat. "Hey, uh…"

"Arizona, why are you sitting outside in your car?" She gives me a look of confusion.

"Why are you still awake?" I counter.

"I couldn't sleep…" She sighs. "Seems having you here the past two nights has messed with my routine."

"I couldn't sleep, either." I give her a sad smile. "I figured I'd drive over here and wait until morning to knock."

"Seriously?" She deadpans. "You were going to sit here all night?"

"Well, yeah." I furrow my brow. "I wasn't about to knock and wake you."

"That's adorable." She takes my hand in her own. "But I'm done standing out here and so are you…" Dragging me inside, she closes the door behind us both and locks it for the night. "You should've called."

"I thought you were sleeping…" I roll my eyes. "I didn't want to sit there for the fun of it, trust me."

"What's on your mind?" She asks as she studies my face.

"You." I shrug as she powers off the TV and sends the lower level into darkness. "I'd rather be here with you than at Jess' place."

"Mm…" She gives me a nod in agreement as she guides us both up the staircase. "I'd rather that, too." Reaching the bedroom, she tightens her grip on my hand and a small smile settles on my mouth. "Just feels better with you here."

Remaining quiet, I close the door behind us and Eliza turns to face me. "What's that?" I ask as my eyes land on a necklace she is wearing.

"Oh." She covers it with her hand. "N-Nothing…" Turning her back, I grip her wrist before she can leave my space. "Arizona, don't."

"Hey…" I furrow my brow. "What's wrong?" Removing her hand, I study the piece of jewelry being secured by the necklace and glance back up at her.

"I'll take it off…"

"Why?" I ask.

"I haven't been wearing it whilst you're here." She admits. "I didn't expect to see you tonight so I kept it on."

"You've been wearing it since I left?" I ask, my voice breaking. "Really?"

"It was the only thing I had to remind me of what we once were." I love her honesty. I really do. "Sometimes it hurt, but knowing that this ring was once on my finger, it gave me some hope. Not much, but some."

"You kept it." My heart breaking for the time we've spent apart, my thumb brushes Eliza's cheek and her eyes close. "You kept it…"

"I kept it." She leans into my touch.

"Why did you take it off when I was here?"

"In case you asked for it back." Her eyes open, a sad smile forming on her mouth. "I wasn't sure how you'd feel about me still wearing it."

"Don't ever think I'd take it from you." I give her a knowing look, my lips pressing against her own. "This will always belong to you." I want to ask her to put it back where it belongs but I'm not sure we're there yet. I mean, one day…maybe, but right now things are how they should be. "I love you, Eliza."

"I love you, too."


I've been awake for a little while but it feels good to just be still and listen to my girlfriend breathing perfectly beside me. Yesterday was full of all kinds of emotions for me but I'm dealing with them okay. I mean, I have things on my mind but it's nothing that I can't handle. After the last eight months, I've come to realize that I can handle anything life throws at me. She kept her engagement ring. A smile curling on my mouth as I turn to face Eliza, I study her profile and my fingertip traces her jawline. "You are so beautiful." My words barely above a whisper, her features change slightly and a low groan falls from her mouth. Grazing her lips, she smiles a small smile and I lean in a little closer, my lips now ghosting over her own. "I love you."

"I love you, too." Pulling me in closer, her arm wraps around my waist and she relaxes again. "Thank you for coming over last night."

"Wouldn't want to be anywhere else." I breathe out. "I would've sat there all night if I had to."

"I know." She sighs. "Guess we both recognized that something wasn't right, though…"

"You've lost me."

"Neither of us could sleep." She nuzzles into my chest. "I had no reason to look out of the window, but I did."

"Yeah?"

"Something didn't feel right…" She says, her voice filled with sleep. "You were here waiting for me…"

"Always." My fingers run through her hair. "I'll always be here, Eliza."

"I know." She glances up at me. "But I know you can't always be here and I'm okay with that. I guess I just got my hopes up when you woke here yesterday and the morning before that."

"Seems everyone keeps getting their hopes up where I'm concerned." My words more of a whine, Eliza furrows her brow. "Sorry." I shake my head.

"What does that mean?"

"Just…Dani." I shrug. "Seems she got her hopes up where we were concerned."

"Thought so…" She gives me a sad smile. "At least she was finally honest with you."

"But now I feel awful about it," I admit. "I feel like I've totally gone back to my old ways without even realizing it."

"How did you figure that out?" She sits up on her elbow, the sheet falling to her waist. Shit, she's incredible. Focus on the conversation, Zo.

"Well, I went and let my wants get the better of me and she got hurt in the end. Isn't that who I used to be? Isn't that what I was trying to fix through therapy?"

"No, you were fixing yourself." She gives me a knowing look. "You told her it was a casual thing."

"I did but I should've known better, I guess." I shrug. "I mean, I didn't think she ever thought of me that way so when she suggested it and I agreed, it didn't seem like it would be an issue."

"I'm sorry it ended this way." She says. "I mean, I'm not…but for your sake, I am."

"No, I get that." I smile. "I don't want her behaving like that now I have you back in my life, Eliza. I don't want her to ruin anything we have. I'm only just building this all back up with you…"

"I know you wouldn't do anything to hurt me." She leans in, her lips connecting with my own. "I've never doubted that. Never."

"Good." I wrap my hand around the back of her neck, our kiss deepening. So long as she knows I'm totally here and in this, I'm not concerned about anyone else. How can I be? She is my priority. My main focus. Eliza and our relationship are all I need to have on my mind right now. Everything else is irrelevant. "I could kiss you forever."

"Good thing that is the plan then, huh?" She pulls back and gives me an adorable smile. "Arizona…"

"What is it?" I furrow my brow.

"Do you think maybe one day you will come home?" I can see that worry in her eyes but she really has nothing to worry about. She knows I want a future with her. At least, I think she does. I guess we haven't discussed anything past the fact that we are back together so I should probably reassure her. It's the right thing to do. "You may not see it, but I'd really like that to be a possibility one day."

"Do you want me to come home one day?" I ask as I push her down onto the mattress and straddle her legs. "Do you imagine me back here every morning? Every night?"

"I do." She breathes out, her hands finding my thighs. "I imagine it every time I wake beside you…"

"Then yes." I lean down, smiling into a kiss. "I'd love to one day come home…"

"Thank god." She breathes against my mouth. Our naked centers connecting, a low moan rumbles in my throat and I can feel her wetness mixing with my own. "Oh, that feels good." Her hips thrusting up, I can feel her throbbing for me. I can feel her swollen clit pressing against my own.

"Fuck." Falling forward on my hands, I roll my hips again and she grips my back. "T-That…wow." Shifting a little, I lift her leg onto my shoulder and find myself now rolling my sex against her own at an angle. "Shit, Eliza…you're soaking."

"Mm, so are you." Our pace picks up and our moans grow louder, the sound of sex filling the air. "Shit, yes." Her nails gripping my thigh, every second is growing that little bit harder and faster. "Mm, don't stop."

"Never." My breathing ragged, I throw my head back and my mouth falls open as she tugs my nipple. "Yes, just like that." I pant. "Fuck, just like that."

"Shit, I'm gonna come so hard for you, Arizona." Those words sending me closer to the edge, my breathing is a little more erratic than before but it feels good. Not having that control I once had. Not worrying that I need to do or say something to make this moment hotter. We're already hot and I've always known that in the back of my mind. "S-So close." She gasps. "Arizona…" My name more of a moan, Eliza shudders beneath me and I too fall over the edge.

"Fuck, shit." I slowly grind against her. "Oh god." Hissing in pleasure, the sound of our soaked sex is all I can hear. Arousal is all I can feel. "You make me crazy…"

"That was fucking hot." She pulls me down against her. "You are so fucking hot." Her lips working my neck, I tilt my head a little and allow her better access. "Everything about you."

"Something tells me today is going to be one hell of a good day…" I smile against the skin of her neck as I inhale her scent. "A good day…spent in bed."

"Crazy how we always have the same thoughts." That adorable giggle I've missed is like music to my ears and it only encourages me to hold her that little bit tighter. "Come home, Arizona." She whispers. "Just...come home."

"It's not too soon?" I pull back and study her face.

"I'm not sure it will ever be too soon." Her eyes are holding nothing but complete certainty. "But that is just my opinion."

"You want me to come home…" I breathe out, my thumb ghosting over her bottom lip. "You're sure?"

"Never been more sure about anything in my life…"

"I'll come home…" I whisper against her mouth. "To you. To us." Her eyes closing, her bottom lip trembles and a tear slips down her face. "Hey…"

"Sorry." She cries, the heels of her hands pressing into her eyes. "Just…ignore me." She laughs. "I'm being stupid."

"Talk about my girlfriend like that again and I'll kick your ass."


Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.