Chapter 10 – Planning

When Mme. Giry entered Christine's room a few minutes later, she found her surrogate daughter to be rather agitated. She immediately went to the young woman's bedside and pulled her close.

"The Vicomte just told me that we can go home," she tried to comfort Christine. "So your conversation must have gone well?" Christine shook her head, sobbing. "Oh Mme. Giry, it was awful!" she whimpered. "He said such terrible things about my angel and he got so angry when I told him that I cannot marry him. He said I should marry him anyway, since my angel is gone, and that I have betrayed him, prostituted myself with my angel on stage…"

Mme. Giry was shocked. She would have never expected the Vicomte to insult Christine like that. She rocked her surrogate daughter like a little baby and whispered to her, in order to calm her down. "This is all over now, Christine. We are leaving. I will pack our things, while you rest. Once we are home, all this will be forgotten. Then you can concentrate on getting well again."

Christine knew that Mme. Giry was right. Yet it was not so easy for her to get over the nasty scene she just had had with her former fiancé. "I thought Raoul and I were friends," she sobbed. "But we are no longer. He did not even say good-bye, when he left."

Mme. Giry inwardly cursed the Vicomte for his lack of civility. It would not help Christine, tough, if she showed her anger. "He felt hurt," she therefore tried to explain. "And jealous. Men sometimes act like that, when they feel defeat. Maybe, once he'll have calmed down, he will regret his behavior and the two of you can one day be friends again."

Christine nodded. She was not entirely convinced, but the thought that Raoul might one day forgive her that she did not love him the way he would have wanted her to, somewhat comforted her. She relaxed and watched Mme. Giry pack their few belongings. Then she let Mme. Giry help her get dressed. She allowed the ballet mistress to wrap a warm blanket around her shoulders on top of her coat.

"The last thing we need now is for you to suffer a relapse," Mme. Giry explained, when she helped Christine into the carriage. Christine looked back one last time to the beautiful old mansion. She had spent some wonderful hours here as Raoul's fiancée and there had been a time when she had thought that she might live a happy life within those walls. She now knew that that would never be possible, not when her heart ached so much for angel. She resolutely turned away from the mansion and looked forward – to her new life which hopefully would eventually lead to her reunion with her beloved angel, Erik.

Xxxxx

The carriage ride was rather taxing for the still convalescent young woman. Upon their arrival Mme. Giry therefore insisted that Christine go to bed immediately and rest. She took it upon herself to explain the latest developments to Meg. The younger Giry was not quite sure what to think of Christine's change of mind. In a way the whole story was terribly romantic, but the thought that Christine might actually prefer the Opera Ghost to that handsome Vicomte frightened her.

"Christine knows him better than you do," Mme. Giry calmly stated. "And I am certain that she is serious about Erik. I would not have supported her otherwise. Do not worry about her. She has made her choice and she knows all the pros and cons herself."

Meg nodded. She knew better than to argue with her mother when the latter sounded as decisive.

Xxxx

The first few days after their move to Mme. Giry's little house, Christine was still very shaken, but under her foster mother's care she soon got stronger – and at the same time more restless.

"I can't sit here all day and rest," she complained. "I need to do something to find my poor angel, go search for him." When Christine talked like that, Mme. Giry always gave her a disapproving look. "What good do you think you will do him if you make yourself sick by getting out of bed too soon?" she usually chided her protégée. "First you need to get well again, then we can try to find Erik."

Christine sighed. Mme. Giry was of course right. She would not get very far in her search if she was not fully recovered, and yet… the memory of her angel's pain when he had sent her away haunted her. "He was so miserable when I last saw him," she argued. "And he probably still is, since he does not know yet. And I…," she paused. "I will not be able to relax before he has not forgiven me for the way I treated him."

Mme. Giry put a comforting arm around Christine. "He will forgive you, since he loves you," she said. "As to his current state of mind," she hesitated. She, too, could not get the memory of Erik's despair the night of the fire, out of her mind. "I know that he is heart-broken right now," she added cautiously, "after all, I saw him myself that night. I wish we could help him, but your health is my first concern at the moment. It won't make him any happier if you collapse. Just focus on the fact that you love him and try to imagine how happy you will make him, when you can finally tell him. Or show him." Christine blushed, memories of kissing her angel filling her whole being with a strong longing.

Xxx

By the end of March Christine was fully recovered. Mme. Giry had no objections anymore to making plans how to find Erik.

"Where do you think he went?" she asked again, probably for the thousandth time within as many minutes. Mme. Giry smiled. "I just told you, I have no idea," she repeated. "He wanted to leave France and the closest borders would be either the English or the Belgian one. He could have gone either way, and he probably did not stop just the moment he had crossed the border. He might have gone on for quite a while. He could be anywhere by now, virtually anywhere."

Christine had to admit that the chances of finding Erik were limited. "There must be a way," she sighed, "we must search for him. Begin somewhere. We must travel around, go from town to town and look for him."

Mme. Giry shook her head. "That's easier said than done," she explained. "Even if we could afford travelling, where would we start? How would we look for him? Unless we run into him in a street by coincidence, how do you expect us to find him?"

Christine's eyes widened in shock. "We cannot afford travelling?" she asked. "Then how can we ever hope to find my poor angel again?"

Mme. Giry sighed. "I wish I knew," she confessed. "If only he had given me the tiniest hint! But een then…" she paused. She did not really like what she had to tell Christine next.

"We are running out of money," she finally continued. "The three of us have been living off our meager savings. We will have to find jobs again, and soon. All three of us."

Christine felt dizzy at that revelation. She definitely had not thought about that. What kind of job could she find now that the Opera lay in ruins? She really had not learned anything other than to sing or dance. Mme. Giry and Meg were in a similar situation. Maybe she could give music lessons? How much money could she possibly make that way? How hard would it be to find enough students? Would Raoul use his influence to prevent some of his friends from hiring her? How long would it take her to save enough money that she could think about traveling, looking for her angel?

"It would take decades," she sighed. "We will never find him."

Mme. Giry did not have too much hope either, but she tried to comfort Christine nevertheless. "I am sure there is a way," she stated, trying to sound more convinced than she felt. "We just have not found it yet. We just have to think about it a bit more. Sooner or later we will figure it out. Or maybe that stubborn guy decides to send us a note after all."

A faint smile played over Christine's features at the memory of all the notes her beloved had been sending around in the past. "I don't think he will do that," she murmured, thinking back to the days at the Opera and his efforts to get her the leading parts. Her angel had adored her voice so much. He had wanted so badly to give her a chance to use her talent to the fullest. He had never missed one of her performances….

"I must sing again," she blurted out. "I must take up my exercises at once. I must try to find employment with an Opera house abroad. Somewhere, anywhere, it does not matter. I cannot imagine him staying away from a performance if I have a leading role. We start somewhere. Once I have been successful in one city, we use my reputation and positive reviews and try to find employment in the next town. That way we can afford to travel, and that way it might be possible to find him."

Mme. Giry gazed at her pensively. The idea was not bad. If Christine were able to find employment in a town outside of France, travel expenses might be paid. If they did not stay in one town too long but kept moving from one town to the next, from one country to the next, sooner or later they might end up in the same place as Erik. She, too, was convinced that Erik would come to a performance in that case. She just was not sure how they would know he was there, and whether or not he would try to contact her.

But they would worry about that once they were on the road. The biggest question right now was, how could Christine land an employment with an Opera house abroad?

Christine continued to develop her idea. "My voice is rusty," she admitted, "I am out of practice, but I have had a great teacher," she continued, proudly. "I am certain I remember all he taught me and all the exercises he made me repeat over and over again. I will be able to get back to my previous level within a few weeks. Once I am sure that I am good enough again, we will think about how I can get in touch with managers of other Opera houses."

Mme. Giry smiled at Christine's enthusiasm. It definitely could not hurt if Christine trained her voice again. She just had no idea how to go about getting Christine hired by another opera company.

"Monsieur Reyer!" Christine suddenly exclaimed. "I do think he once mentioned a friend of his who is chief conductor somewhere. Maybe he could help us? If he recommended me to this colleague of his? If only I can find this first job. Once I get better known, managers might recommend me to other companies. That first step will be the most difficult one."

Mme. Giry grinned. "This may be the solution we have been looking for," she agreed. "Just start with your exercises. Once you are confident that you are ready once again to tackle a major role, we will ask Monsieur Reyer if he can help us with a recommendation. Or maybe even Firmin and André can get us in contact with influential people. If we do succeed and you do get an offer to sing in a city outside France, I will have to accompany you. I might pose as your wardrobe assistant or something like that. You need a chaperone anyway, and if we do reach the town where Erik currently resides, he might be more willing to contact me than you. No, don't get upset," she admonished Christine. "It's just that he does not know about your feelings, might even think that you are still with the Vicomte, which might make him stay away from you despite his love and longing. Me, on the other hand, I am like his sister. If he wanted to find out what you are doing there and why you are on stage instead of just being a Vicomte's wife, he might want to ask me. At least, I hope," she added. "If he has figured out that it was me who sent de Chagny after you, he might have lost his trust in me as well."

Christine beamed. She had finally found a solution to her problem. She was sure that her plan would work. All she had to do right now was retrain her voice and then get hired somewhere. She was aware that wherever she would go first would probably not be the right town. Even if she never stayed anyplace for more than one production, it would take a while to get through all of Europe. She was certain, though, that Erik would know if she were performing anywhere near him. Even if he did not live in one of the larger cities, he would find out if Christine were the star at the local opera, and she could not imagine him staying away then. No, the desire to hear her sing again, to see her, at least from afar, would be too strong. She had to agree with Mme. Giry, though, that he would probably not contact her. He would fear to get hurt by her again, and she could not even blame him for that. She knew that she had hurt him badly. She was quite certain, though, that she would sense Erik's presence in the audience. She had always known when he had watched her, even during rehearsals. This connection would have to help her find him. Once she knew he was in the same town, she might stay on for a second production, in order to have more time to locate him and get in touch with him.

Christine sighed. The way ahead of her was long. She would need a lot of patience before she would see her angel again, but she was convinced that the most difficult part would only come once she had found him. The most difficult bit would be to win back Erik's trust and to convince him of her love.

Xxxx

By mid-May Christine was fairly certain that her voice was back to its previous level of excellence. Mme. Giry also had to admit that the young soprano's technique was flawless, her voice as sweet as ever and that her performance had gained a depth that had been lacking before. Christine had really grown up over the past few months. Love and loss had shaped her, matured her and had added layers to her singing, thus making it even more heartfelt and touching. When Christine now sang Elissa's aria from Chalumeau's "Hannibal", Mme. Giry always had tears in her eyes. Before, Christine had just mastered the song brilliantly, nowshe poured her heart and soul into lines like "there will never be a day when I won't think of you".

One beautiful, warm day in May, Mme. Giry and Christine finally went to see Monsieur Reyer. The old conductor was semi-retired by now. He had saved enough money over his long career that he did not have to work regularly anymore. He did work with a small orchestra on occasion, performing at balls or soirées, but he had no interest of finding employment at a concert hall or theater again.

He was surprised to see the two ladies pay him a visit and even more so, when Christine asked if he could not help her find employment with an Opera company abroad. "Do you even need a job?" he asked incredulously. "Are you not going to get married soon?"

Christine looked down, embarrassed and shook her head. "No," she whispered. "I have no such plans. It was me," she added hastily, when she noticed the old man's scrutinizing gaze. "I broke off the engagement. It is not as you think, he did not abandon me."

Monsieur Reyer exhaled, relieved. He had not been too impressed with the young patron, and for a moment he had suspected that de Chagny might have used the young soprano and then dropped her for a new toy.

"But there are so many memories here, in Paris and all of France," Christine continued. "Here everything reminds me of the past. I need to start anew. In order to do that, I would need employment elsewhere, far away from this city and its memories."

Reyer nodded. He could understand why she would want to leave. "And you have been practicing?" he asked. "Your voice is in good shape, so that I can recommend you in good conscience?"

Christine smiled. "I am willing to sing for you so that you may be able to form an opinion on that yourself."

Monsieur Reyer approached his piano. "Elissa's aria?" he asked. Christine took up position next to him and after the short introduction she sang. "Think of me, think of me fondly.."

Once she had finished, Reyer remained silent for a while. When he finally spoke, he had tears in his eyes. "Mlle. Daaé," he whispered, deeply moved. "I have heard this aria hundreds of times in my long career, but never before like this. You brought the character of Elissa to life with your singing. I felt all her love and all her resignation, knowing that her love was doomed. You do not only have an exceptional voice and a flawless technique, you also have a talent to make the audience sympathize with your character. I will be happy to recommend you to my good friend Alan Stearns, who is chief conductor at the Covent Garden Opera in London. By coincidence I got a letter from him only a few days ago, in which he told me that their current prima donna is pregnant and they will need a new first soprano in a few weeks. I am certain that he will want to hire you, once he has heard you sing like that."