Chapter Eleven: Nature
"Death, like birth, is a secret of nature."
-Marcus Aurelius
Elijah –
Just survive until she made her choice that was the goal. He knew most of what he had to say, and he could just coast along while doing his best to just stick to what he assumed she would ask about. Ignore his conscience, his guilt, the desire to protest, the anger at Rebekah, the rage at the world in general: all the emotions raging just beneath the cool exterior he'd gotten so masterful at over his years.
Then she gasped, coming to consciousness suddenly. Her eyes wide, expression nearly delirious as she searched around the room; she paused on his face when he took her hand, seeming to realize who he was even if she had no way of recognizing the guest room he'd put her in.
"Elijah…" It was difficult to keep from breaking down. What worth was centuries of keeping himself above sentimental afflictions if that fine tuned control failed him when he most wanted it? She gripped his hand, still speaking, questions that he'd expected. Those were the easy ones, the ones he had already thought of replies to, that didn't require him to break the monotony of just surviving.
A short apology was the best he could muster without breaking into tears, the last thing she'd need was for him to cry. He assured her there weren't other ways out of this, once a transition started, there were only two choices. Still, his voice broke and he had to pause, remaining quiet as he watched her hand, stroking the back of it with his thumb as he answered questions.
"Elijah…"
Did she have to keep saying his name? It made it so much more difficult to retain his composure. She spoke more and he offered what small candid answers he could. Then she asked something he hadn't prepared for.
"Kol, yesterday, he said you loved me. Is that true?" Elena bit her lip after she said it, was she nervous about it? "Kol, I'm going to kill you at least twice later. Am I just another in a long line of admirer's for Elena? I knew to begin with that I likely would only be a friend…not that I even succeeded at that responsibility."
Elijah paused and forced his expression back into neutrality. "To be honest with you Elena, I…don't know. It's been a very long time since I've even thought about love. Despite your aforementioned faith, I'm not sure I'm still capable of it. I know on some level I care about you but…that's not the same thing. I think my infatuation is more selfish than anything, I thought about compelling you to complete the transformation, making you believe it was your idea…"
His eyes fell away from her again with the admission. Elena squeezed his hand in return and not expecting him to continue his statement. "…I let you die, Elena, I should have compelled you to forget about what you knew last time I had the chance. I could have kept you away from Alaric, you would be alive."
"The fault is mine."
"That wouldn't have done anyone good Elijah." Elena protested immediately, sitting up straighter and looking at him seriously. "I remember what happened with the white oak. If I wasn't there he could have killed all of you, then so many people I care about would be dead. I…I would not want to live because others died for me. I'm glad I was there, I wouldn't have offered myself before then if I wasn't ready for it. Please, don't blame yourself Elijah, what you did was noble. You allowed me my own choice even if you didn't want to; you're doing it again now. That's the opposite of selfish."
Elijah wasn't certain how she could continue to be so gracious but he didn't have it in him to argue with her, returning to his muted replies when she changed the subject. She was insistent on food despite his hints how unlikely she was to actually be able to keep it down. Elijah started to release her hand as he stood. His body froze on its own when she leapt up and slipped her arms around him, clinging to him as though he was a buoy in the middle of a hurricane at sea. Why did she keep doing that?
"I…I'm sorry." Elena sniffed and rubbed at her eyes, she sounded embarrassed as she drew away. "I don't know why I did that…I just…I really don't want to be alone. Can I come with you?"
"Of course, I've tried to have all the windows covered." Elijah managed once she'd let go of him.
Her topic moved to her friends and he was able to return to those answers he had already planned, at least she'd followed up the outburst with something he was prepared to speak about. It was a short conversation; she seemed to accept when he mentioned her new weakness to the sun that she couldn't currently run out after the local vampires and the minor concerns. Kol and Rebekah had dealt with hunter uprisings before this and they would do so now. He led her through the house, idly wondering if he would sell it after today; he doubted he would return if she chose to die.
More conversation followed their trip downstairs. If it had been that she was going to live then likely he would have been amused at her reactions. The handkerchief and the water were an easy prediction with Elena. She'd shocked him earlier but in some things she was as simple to read as a book. They talked for a while longer and he suggested they return upstairs, he kept noticing strips of light that made it through the curtains on the first floor; they hadn't been designed to keep out all light.
"Wait…I want some blood."
Elijah stopped, blinking slowly, it was the one thing he hadn't expected to hear, he wasn't sure if it wasn't just wishful thinking. "Elena? You know what that means yes? Are you certain of this? You only said this wasn't what you wanted fifteen minutes ago."
"I…never wanted to be a vampire Elijah, I don't want to be…but I don't want to die either. I…have a lot of people who will be here for me." She stepped closer and he glanced over his shoulder as he took her hand, watching her smile lightly. In that nervous manner she often used when she wasn't completely certain despite the fact she was deciding on something. "I know everyone will help me. And…I'm not trying to be pushy, but I'm starving Elijah."
"Come with me, we'll get you something." He opened a door that lead to a downward staircase not far from where they were standing between the stairs and the kitchen. Leading her into a rather plain basement compared to the extravagance of the upper floors. He moved through a short all to a room with a second large refrigerator, entering a code into a small pad on the front of it.
"You put your blood in a…refrigerator safe?" Elena looked around as she followed him; it was high tech compared to what he'd of the Salvatore's system. Of course when he pulled a few bags from the inside she likely forgot about whatever she'd just said. She fixated on the blood and seemed tempted to rip the bags from his hands. He didn't force her to wait, holding out one of the three he'd drawn from the fridge.
At least she didn't snatch it, though she took it fairly eagerly, tugging the top free with her teeth. Elijah settled the extra bags to one side, he preferred not to drink in front of others so instead he found himself quietly relieved as she took a drink and her eyes closed. The blood would be overwhelming that first time…
She tore into it with fangs a moment later, the thick burgundy liquid flowing around her mouth, down her chin, staining her shirt and his floor without her even realizing it. Elijah wasn't surprised by it; he'd seen much more ravenous first feedings.
Regardless of where their strange relationship went, she would be here for it. That was more than he'd thought was possible only five minutes ago. Elijah reached up, wiping a tear from his cheek. When Elena opened her eyes, still drinking and distracted with her newfound appetite he finally returned her smile as he offered the second of the blood bags. She hadn't the faintest idea how she was eating…he would have a lot of work to do.
Damon –
The grill was as fittingly drab as ever, there weren't too many people around at this time of day since school hadn't gotten out yet. It was just him and a few of the neighborhood lushes right now. It was just after two so once school got out things would pick up. He'd only come in cause two was the time of day they started serving alcohol and he knew what he had at home wouldn't cut it.
Not that he didn't occasionally enjoy slaying his enemies but today had been much more work heavy than Damon preferred. Some of the council was so heavily on vervain it would have taken a week to get them off, too many for their disappearances to be covered up. Instead Kol had gotten what he called an 'artistic inspiration' and compelled the pastor after ripping a bracelet from him to call the rest of the members of the council to a building. It had been a rush just to contact the mayor and sheriff before they ended up barbequed like all the rest of the council members in the gas explosion. For a guy that hadn't been awake in most of the modern era Kol was learning new ways to get away with mass murder a little too quickly for Damon's tastes.
Another hunter had attacked Tyler and Stefan though they'd gotten away and Damon was irritated they'd let him escape. The rest of the goons he, Kol, and Rebekah had made short work of. It was all much easier than the last time he'd dealt with hunters' years before. These had been armed well, as though specially trained but they still weren't prepared for originals. Still, he was irritated he hadn't seen the one that went after Stefan and Tyler, despite having a description he wanted to rip off the man's head himself. Elena would be returning as a vampire and the last thing she needed was to deal with someone that spotted supernatural creatures for a living.
"Oh, are you planning to pout here all night? We only missed one of them, I'd say our little anti-inquisition today was quite the success?" Kol commented, sitting in Alaric's stool and earning a distasteful sneer from Damon. "Come now, we just cleaned up eighty percent of a problem in eight hours…we don't make a horrible team, the Salvatore's and the Mikaelson's."
"You sound like you already had a bottle…or seven. Don't let your sister hear you saying that, I doubt she'd agree." Damon remarked, still annoyed that Kol had sat in Alaric's spot. Then Kol ordered two White Russian's and Damon wanted to shudder at the insult. "What the hell do you want Kol? I already had to spend the day with you, I'm not out to be best buds."
"Me either, I just want a few celebratory drinks…there's still work left but I think we've done a fair shift for the time being." Kol nodded to the bartender, and picked up his cream colored drink's as he tossed a hundred on the counter. "Start me a tab. Don't worry Damon, I don't plan to ruin your little coyote act, what I was after just came in. Excuse me, I told her I'd catch her up on the day."
"What the hell is your problem Kol?" Caroline was already doing as well with this Mikaelson as she had Klaus apparently.
Damon assumed Kol must be over the events at the ball or he was more psychopathic than most of his family since all the death and manipulation today had left him so overtly cheerful about his 'creativity'. Either way, it was even creepier than when Stefan went all Ripper mode as far as Damon was concerned. He felt a bit of pity for Caroline but not enough to interfere, Kol's preoccupation with her kept him out of Alaric's chair.
It was still a few hours before the sun would be down. Rebekah had assured him earlier that Elijah wouldn't arrive to town before then. Elena lacked a daylight ring, so at least until then she was still in the eldest original's care. It made Damon less than pleased, she'd gotten much too friendly with the guy lately and now he was her sire. He was the leader of the snakes so that wasn't exactly the sort of placement Damon would have wished on her.
"Of course he has that boy scout feel to him that seems to make Elena immediately wet." Damon thought in irritation as he took a long draw of the amber liquid in his glass. Figures Elijah had to jump in when Damon had finally viably gotten a chance at Elena with Stefan's screw ups.
At least she'd be back tonight, she wouldn't just stay away after what had happened, she would insist on telling Jeremy. If Elijah was honest with her as to what was going on in town she wasn't going to be too pleased with him. It was less than a day since Bonnie saved Kol and Rebekah and Kol had already burned nearly a dozen of the people that lived in Mystic Falls. That had to be somehow going against one of his high and mighty promises.
Elena –
Elena was enjoying the blood, she'd thought she would be grossed out by it when she was still human but it was amazing. Before she knew it she'd finished the first two of the bags he'd taken out for her and was accepting the third. She was half way through that one when she realized that he'd shed a tear…her appetite was still immense yet it had calmed enough after that first indulgence that she could think about something other than the desire for blood, the hunger; not that it wasn't still present, she probably could have gone through another dozen.
She worried a short moment that he was disturbed she'd chosen to be a vampire until he smiled at her. It was a light thing just the sort of smile he would wear, not a grin but not the superior smirk of most of his family. It was the first time since she woke up that it felt like Elijah was actually himself. Elena sipped again at the bag she had though without the same urgency as she'd finished the others, she was relieved he had stopped being so robotic. "Elijah…thank you for helping me, for everything, you've always been kind to me…well usually."
"I doubt your, somewhat backward compliments, will continue. I don't plan to give you anymore tonight. You've had more than enough and if you indulge it will be more difficult to resist the craving when it is necessity." Elijah replied, folding the small bags she'd finished and putting them into a metal trashcan nearby. "I'm afraid we still have a few hours before you'll be able to go outside. There is a bathroom connected to the room I've spared for you, as well as extra clothing."
"I can wear what I have; it's a little wrinkled but…" Elena started to say then paused as he leaned forward and touched her collarbone before drawing his fingers back to show her the crimson, making her eyes widen. "I…I didn't do that…I thought…I didn't mean to."
Elena was certain she'd just drank from the small straw like she'd seen others do…but now that she put her hands on her jaw she realized she must have bit into the bags themselves, the sticky red substance covering her chin and along her neck.
"I'm not judging you Elena. Let's go and when you are more presentable we will speak further." Elijah assured, holding out his handkerchief before gesturing back toward the stairs as he took the final bag from her. Elena released the plastic, licking her lip as there was still a swallow or two left, she wanted it…she was tempted a moment to grab it back from him.
"What are you doing Elena? Stop it!" She thought at herself and nodded, moving up the stairs ahead of the older vampire. "God, what's wrong with me…this must be like when I used to clean dribble off toddlers I babysat for."
Elena had blood covering her and she hadn't even noticed; she'd been so taken with…the flavor. Oh the flavor; It reminded her of every delicious thing she ever had, ever wanted, or ever could want. But…she should be grossed out; she should be horrified that she'd so easily just dug right in and indulged, even shortly, in human blood. Shouldn't it scare her to her core that she was like this, what if she ended up hurting someone? She couldn't just hide around other vampires shredding blood bags forever; she would end up wanting to bite people when she saw them.
At some point in her thoughts Elijah had moved ahead of her and they'd reached the bathroom. He stopped her and reached over to get a towel, wetting it as she stared at herself in the mirror.
She looked like she'd walked out a horror movie. How did she do this to herself without even noticing? She didn't think there was this much blood in the bags, but it looked so… "Oh god, my face!"
Her eyes had darkened and changed to an unnatural red, there were veins visible around them that were monstrous. She turned away from Elijah as he finished squeezing extra water from the towel. She didn't want him to see her like this; she didn't want anyone to see her like this. "I…I'll be fine, I can clean up myself. Than…Thank you Elijah."
"Elena…do you think I've never seen a vampire's face as yours is now?" Elijah asked, pulling her around to face him despite the light groan she released. She knew it was silly, he'd probably seen it more times than she should count but it still bothered her. She bit her lip, near tears.
"I…it just happened…the blood…" She admitted in embarrassment, turning a little more so she couldn't see the blood on her clothes. "What does that mean?"
"It means you only transitioned, it is natural, just relax Elena." Elijah replied, lifting up the rag to wipe her chin quietly. Elena was staring at him as she felt her face return to normal, his easy confidence made it easier for her to listen. To breath without the desire to hyper-ventilate. He was starting to draw away when she kissed his thumb, it was close to her lips thanks to his kind gesture and she'd just done it before thinking about it.
Elijah's fingers traced her cheek a final time before he settled the damp fabric in her hand. "Here, I imagine you can handle yourself now. There are clothes in the closet; I'll be down the hall in the study."
Elena nodded as he walked away glad she couldn't blush as he closed the door. What the hell had gotten into her? Why had she kissed him? Oh god…he was just trying to be polite and she was just walking over him at every turn.
Why did he have to smell so nice? She hadn't really paid close attention to whatever cologne he used before but since she woke everything had been overloading her senses. There was a unique musk to him mixed with freshly cut sawdust and chocolate covered coffee beans, with a hint of something else she couldn't quite place. Elena had been half tempted to kiss him again before he pulled away…
"God stop it Elena!" She snapped at herself, moving to pull off her strained shirt and other clothes quickly before she started the shower. "What the hell is wrong with me? Elijah's trying to help me and I'm just doing anything I want. No wonder he ran away, he must just be trying to keep me from embarrassing myself further. What the hell was I thinking taking emotional advice from Kol? Elijah told me himself he had feelings but he didn't know what they were. I'm not helping anything acting like this."
Elena took a deep breath to keep from freaking out. Glad for the stream of hot water, there was nothing like a shower to help someone clear their head. She just had to listen to him. If she relaxed then she should be able to keep things under control. Her emotions and senses were going to be all over the place, she already knew that. That was part of this and she picked it, she decided on it. She had stop alienating Elijah after everything he'd done for her.
"A vampire…" She was washing her hair as she thought. "…I can't believe I'm dead. It doesn't feel like I thought it would. I'm still so hungry. I gotta try not to think about that. I don't want to ask for more after what Elijah said; if I've had enough that I should be able to control myself I have to do that. The faster I learn the better…I have school."
School...
Elena let out a groan about midterms as she realized she would miss them all. Today, and then she didn't trust herself to return around so many people tomorrow. She would have to speak to her teachers and try to make them up early when the next quarter started. The last half of senior year was going to be anything but dull.
As she dried off she held the towel a little closer to her face, it was so soft. It had to be expensive, she rubbed her cheek against it another moment, it reminded her of the way Elijah had drawn his fingers over it earlier. She shivered slightly and then bit her lip, continuing to dry off quickly. She wasn't sure how she was going to survive three more hours if this kept up. None of the vampires had warned her just how wild emotions went, it was like hormone's on crack.
Elijah –
"I'm not judging you Elena. Let's go and when you are cleaned up we can speak further if you prefer." Elijah assured, holding out his handkerchief before gesturing back toward the stairs as he took the final bag from her. Elena released the plastic, licking her lip as she watched the lost blood. It was a good sign that she was able to let go, he'd judged how much would help keep her capable of controlling herself.
He wasn't surprised she hadn't realized how involved in her feeding she'd gotten; her reaction was also something he could have guessed. It would be difficult for her to learn to be what she was now. At least for the time being she would be able to survive on bags, he would deal with teaching her to feed on people soon enough. He expected more than a little resistance when that time came.
Elijah paused her in the bathroom, which seemed to interrupt her thoughts. He was dampening a cloth when her eyes landed on the blood reflected in the mirror and then they went black. It was desire in physical form for a vampire; something to be expected of any youth and many older members of the race. She was horrified at herself and then quickly turned away, embarrassed to be seen by him. "I…I'll be fine, I can clean up myself. Than…Thank you Elijah."
"Elena…do you think I've never seen a vampire's face as yours is now?" Elijah asked, pulling her around to face him despite the light groan she released. She'd already wiped off part of the gore away with his handkerchief but he wondered if she'd even noticed the way she was wriggling the thin silk in her hands.
"I…it just happened…the blood…" When she began glance at the mirror instead she turned away from the looking glass. She sounded as though she was riling herself more than she needed to. "What does that mean?"
"It means you only transitioned, it is natural, just relax Elena." Elijah replied, lifting up the rag to wipe her chin quietly. Elena was staring at him as he cleaned the smears she'd left on her chin. Wiping the stains away from her clear skin with a care he rarely took with anyone. Her skin was subtle, it moved easily under his touch as he worked. Then velvet lips closed momentarily on the pad of his thumb. The kiss caught him off guard, the way she was staring at him. The hunger in her gaze threw his mind to a topic that was less than gentlemanly.
"No, Elijah."
His self-discipline was still too raw to resist a final trace of her cheek with his fingers, then he dropped his hands to hers, exchanging the handkerchief with the cloth he'd used to clean her face. "Here, I imagine you can handle yourself now. There are clothes in the closet; I'll be down the hall in the study."
Elijah ducked quickly from the guest room, taking a deep breath as he moved toward his study. There were bookshelves on nearly every wall unless that space was being taken by filing cabinets. There was a mini-bar near a couch and pair of overstuffed chairs off center of the room. Opposite a desk with a lamp, laptop, and a few files on top of it. Everything was in perfect order, though Elijah ignored the work and moved straight for the sherry. He could hear Kol laughing at him as he poured the alcohol into a glass, his family would be so swift to make remarks if they had seen his little scene in the bathroom.
He settled the glass decanter back in its place and replaced the stopper before he lifted his glass to his lips for a sip. Despite the files on his desk he just sat on one of the couches near the mini-bar. There was paperwork involving various investments that needed to be done, though he leaned back in his chair to sip the liquor again.
A thousand years and he was starting to feel like a child. Certainly it wasn't in the same overly dramatic way that Rebekah or Klaus tended to become when they were enamored of someone but even he could tell he wasn't acting as he would otherwise. It should disturb him, but instead he found it was becoming steadily more difficult to not relax his usual composure in Elena's presence.
"That expression…" The lustful way she looked at him no matter how chaste the brush of her lips on his hand had been made him knock back the rest of his drink, and then reached to pour another. He'd considered, however briefly, holding her down and having his way with her then and there; it was pathetic, as Rebekah would likely be accusing him before long.
Somehow he doubted Elena would appreciate him taking advantage of her delicate condition. If he abused what small forgiveness she'd offered him he likely wouldn't earn her trust again. He had to stop reacting so strongly to such simple impulses.
"Follow your own advice." He thought to himself. "Just relax and stop thinking about it. There is only eternity to sort this out, rushing won't help anyone involved."
It was just as well he was so old, perhaps if he was still the Salvatore's age then he would have done something presumptuous. He'd been passionate once, and perhaps he didn't share an incredible amount of personality with his family but at least that trait had run through all of them. Thankfully his passion also involved an enjoyment for propriety; it was what kept him level-headed when he was certain he would otherwise not be at all.
"Elena as a vampire…" A vague smile turned his lips upward. "Certainly not something I expected to see, not to mention being her sire. Not what I wanted for her, but something she's easily strong enough to handle. I wonder if she has even a vague inclination how difficult this process will be for me as well?"
Judging from the sleek low-cut but stylish shirt and tight jeans she'd picked out to wear he doubted that, she was stunning.
"Please come in Elena, would you like something? Alcohol aids us in lessening our hunger and muting other emotions." Elijah explained after he made the offer, he'd seen her drink before but she would need to learn these things. He didn't know what might have already been taught to her by the Salvatore's.
"No, after the water earlier…" Her nose wrinkled as she stepped inside. It was clear she was doing her best to remain polite. "No, thank you. Elijah, I'm sorry for…before…I just sort of acted without really thinking. I didn't mean…"
"Suit yourself, if you change your mind feel free to help yourself to your preference." Elijah commented with a light gesture to the bottles when her apologies drifted off.
She continued to look at anything in the room but him. While his study undoubtedly would be enthralling for a bibliophile he knew Elena's preoccupation wasn't a matter of scholarly interest. Her insecure behavior was akin to other interactions they'd had in the past. Before recently he was certain her apprehensions involved what he might do, tonight it had more to do personal concern. Somewhat ironic given how doubtful he was about his own ability for constraint. He didn't comment on her further apologies, perhaps if he ceased to recognize them she would stop spouting them at every available interval.
"I…guess I could try a drink since you think it will help." She relented, stepping closer and looking over the bottles before finally picking one up. Her eyes trailed the area searchingly.
"The glasses are in the cupboard." Elijah directed, drawing a finger above his lip before propping his head on the arm. "Am I making you uncomfortable?"
"No." She said it too quickly for it to be the complete truth, picking up her drink and still not meeting his eyes. "I mean I'm not exactly sure of what I think about everything yet, it's not you though. You've been more than kind to me Elijah; I just don't want to…make a mistake."
"We all err Elena, as I already mentioned I'm not here to criticize." Elijah reassured, patting the couch. "Have a seat. Ask anything you like."
Elena finally glanced at him and then the other end of the piece of furniture as though it was a prison. She smiled apprehensively before moving to take the offered opening. "All right, I don't know what to ask. I've hung around Damon and Stefan for over a year now. Most of what I know is from watching them but I already understand most of the weaknesses and strengths, at least in theory. I want to actually practice but I'm a little…stuck…"
"There is no need to hurry. Time is now something you possess in abundance." Elijah stated. Her eagerness to embrace her new nature was unexpected yet he didn't want to discourage any sort of progress.
"I feel like I drank a pot or three of coffee. I have all this energy and I don't know why or what to do with it. It's hard to just sit still, is that normal?" Elena asked, taking a deep steadying breath.
"It should level out in a few weeks as you learn to adjust." Elijah said, finishing his second glass and standing up. He held a hand out toward Elena to help her up. "Come, there is a small gym in the basement. Given the presence of hunters in the area the sooner you practice defense the better. It'll give you a chance to utilize some of that vigor."
End Chapter
Enjoying the addition of a little more electricity between our male and female leads; Damon leaves Caroline to Kol's devices. I really love writing for Elijah, I think he's well on his way to entering my top five favorite characters ever, which doesn't change too often. Funny since I heard his character was only supposed to last only one season. I get to write some Elena/Elijah training next chapter!
-Aura
P.S. I did a music video to Elena/Elijah over on youtube. If anyone wants to look it up my information is: Username: NaliaAsh Video name: Vampire Diaries Elijah x Elena Thousand Years. (a tad cheesy but I had fun making it)
To my reviewers:
Lilylulurose – Thanks for the review. I'm looking forward to seeing Elijah's reaction in season 4 when he returns and finds out Elena's a vampire. I'm sorta hoping he mistakes her as Katarina at first.
LysCat – Well Rebekah didn't have any love for Elena to begin with, so when she recognized the spell connecting Elena and Alaric she just did it. She's sort of a bitch and all. Thanks for the kind words, I tried to keep some of the things that have happened in the show but alter them. Like Kol being the one to compel the Pastor into blowing up the council. He's very…hit or miss the way I look at him. I know he hasn't been around long as a character so I'm able to take him the way I want.
Lotheriel – Much appreciation for the kind review. I try to not have Elijah ever come off as young, though he might not agree with that view himself all the time. He tends to think anything out of character is childish though. Hope you keep enjoying the story!
